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G-AND-T
16th Apr 2009, 19:01
Hello JBers.

I think mine is, after 10 good years, and 2 really bad ones.:ugh:

When did you realise your marriage was over, was it a sudden realisation, or a slow dawning?

Cheers

G'n'T

max_cont
16th Apr 2009, 19:10
When I came home and she was packing.

She had found a rich old man (thirty years her senior)…can’t argue with money. :ouch:

CityofFlight
16th Apr 2009, 19:23
I knew within 2 yrs I'd made a mistake but remained hopeful to his denial. Then is just continued to erode. No big blow up ending. I just said I'm done with being a room mate. Only regret... I can't get back my 10 yrs! :p

Good luck and don't lose hope in being happy. :ok:

DAL208
16th Apr 2009, 19:31
Its probably just my young naivety (sp), but i cant understand how you can marry someone and the marriage be a sham?? Scares me as well...that after so long you can break up...not positive for the old romantic in me

FLCH
16th Apr 2009, 19:45
Just terminating mine after 23, realized after 12 or so but stuck it out till the kid was of age. Amazing that alcohol destroys slowly but throughly.

Good luck with it.

CityofFlight
16th Apr 2009, 19:47
Tell me about it! He did a fabulous job courting me for 1.5 yrs. But it turns out he has some "issues" and commitment turned out to be top of the list. In the end, he knew he couldn't or wouldn't be able to change, so I did.

Sprogget
16th Apr 2009, 19:55
I've never been married. I always worked in a male dominated industry & for the last seven years or so, I've been self employed, working alone, every day. I'm starting to think I've missed the boat, 38 and all. Oh well, football & beer for me.

Avitor
16th Apr 2009, 19:56
Time to move on when.....

You can feel the coldness and the atmosphere can be cut with a knife.

mona lot
16th Apr 2009, 19:59
When did you realise your marriage was over?

When I got my first flying job:{:{

Avitor
16th Apr 2009, 19:59
I've never been married. I always worked in a male dominated industry & for the last seven years or so, I've been self employed, working alone, every day. I'm starting to think I've missed the boat, 38 and all. Oh well, football & beer for me.

38 Sprogget! You may be wrong there, you're plenty young enough.

Too Short
16th Apr 2009, 20:11
CoF Look at this this way, although you can't get your ten years back, at least you did get out of your unhappy situation - plenty don't. It takes guts to do so, even if you are very unhappy, so don't be too hard on yourself for your 'missed' ten years - I bet ya making up for it now, yeah?! :)

OFSO
16th Apr 2009, 20:15
With my second wife it was about 24 hours before we got married - yet I still went ahead, knowing it would be a disaster, and it was.

It wasn't even self-deception since I could see it coming......

Nothing, but nothing, beats a human being's capacity for stupidity.

(However marriage #3 has been great, so there's a triumph of persistance over experience. Or something...)

SoundBarrier
16th Apr 2009, 20:52
When she said "I don't love you any more" packed her bags and left. Unfortunately a year on I still feel like sh1t. :{

Oh well, the years lost is what I'm miffed about. Find me a good-un yet.

Like my mate says, "Can't live with-em, can't shoot-em! fark" :ugh:

Little Blue
16th Apr 2009, 20:53
.............when I left my e-mail account open and my 1st wife decided to have a look !
:bored:

AvroLincoln
16th Apr 2009, 20:59
When after 25 years together she picked me up from the airport (a week before Christmas) after a work trip and told me she was moving to Germany to live near to her (married) lover. The ensuing divorce settlement (through the French judicial system) has been in progress for 8 years, and is still not completed . . .
I am on my third incompetent French divorce lawyer, also female, like the last one - perhaps I should start hating women?

Lon More
16th Apr 2009, 21:27
arriving home on Christmas Eve to find she'd left a note saying we were getting a divorce

bnt
16th Apr 2009, 21:31
Similar situation to Sprogget, but two years older: never been engaged, never mind married. The way I see it, the primary reason to get married is to have children, and I have genes that should go this far and no further.

Among my acquaintances, I've seen far more unsuccessful relationships than successful ones, even if they don't actually break up. I know a very smart guy who really wanted kids, went looking for a nice-but-dim "brood mare" (the way he described her to me), married her, and got the kids he wanted. A bit too Machiavellian for me. :bored:

srobarts
16th Apr 2009, 21:42
From first marriage, wife told me it was over and no one else was involved. Should have known better. A few days later I pressed "last number redial" and got the other man......

A friend was driving home and stopped for a removals van in the lane to his home, got home to find wife, children and furniture had gone........

From my experience and friends experiences talk, talk, talk. The grass is not necessarily greener for the leaver and the situation may be recoverable albeit an uncomfortable recovery. Relationship hopping rarely bring happiness.

Keef
16th Apr 2009, 22:37
No idea. Been married for 41 years and still very happy. She's my wife, my mistress, and my best friend. We met at primary school when she was 4 and I was 5. It was what you might call a whirlwind romance.

I've seen any number that clearly weren't going to succeed, but you can't (or daren't) tell 'em so.

AcroChik
16th Apr 2009, 22:52
"I've seen any number that clearly weren't going to succeed, but you can't (or daren't) tell 'em so."

I'm convinced one's true friends, mentors and spiritual counselors know.

Keef
16th Apr 2009, 22:56
I'm sure they do. Sadly, telling them may mark the end of the friendship etc.

Chacha
16th Apr 2009, 22:56
He hid his mistress whilst on a skiing holiday with children and I in MontTremblant! .. Children and I in one hotel and mistress in another ..Never will I get married again! .. Free as a bird.. Lifes great! .. For those who do it a second time and third time and fourth time! .. Good Luck! .. Your brave! .. :D

AcroChik
16th Apr 2009, 23:02
Keef ~

See my post here:

http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/370117-bruise-frustration-your-biggest-regret-2.html

airfoilmod
16th Apr 2009, 23:05
One knows oneself reasonably well, and you think it might be over, it is.
Waste no time, leave; Time is too precious to chase doubts. Mistake? Try again later. Had three marriages, I left twice, got left once. Still in touch with all three, kids you know. Ignore the harsh judgment of others, but especially ignore the self inflicted kind, you are a Human.

AF

brickhistory
16th Apr 2009, 23:59
The signs should have been obvious after seven years of marriage (plus three years before that):

- a romantic getaway before a known in advance temporary duty assignment
- letters and care packages while deployed in a little know South American jungle
- closed on the expected house purchase while I was gone via a power of attorney
- filed for divorce the next day unbeknowst to me in said jungle
- upon arrival home via unit bus picking up a group from the airport and stopping by my newly bought house to find my stuff packed in my car and the new added deputy sheriff with restraining order option

Never thought it would happen to me.

There's a reason they say don't ever grant a general power of attorney.

A few years on, a few years of skimping to get solvent, and I've definitely traded up.

12 years and counting on the 'B' model. Guess the aviation adage (how's that for bringing in aerospace?!) of "never fly the A model of anything!" is true...

To Keef and others who've managed to keep it going for many, many years, my hat's off to you. :D

Albert Square
17th Apr 2009, 00:01
I feel I should put some positve spin on this. Been married for over 30 years and still love her. Lets hear some of the positives.

CityofFlight
17th Apr 2009, 00:06
I truly enjoy hearing the success stories, even if it's taken 1 or 2 attempts to achieve it. :ok:



And I remain hopeful for my own one day. :)

Keef
17th Apr 2009, 00:18
AkroChik - yes, spot on.
If it were a friend of mine (or family member), yes I would. With the other hat on, it would be verboten.

I went out of my way (just once) to arrange "organ choir and bells" where one of the couple was divorced but the vital signs were all good. That one seems to be going well, 10 years on. I still see them occasionally, although they've moved away.

ExSp33db1rd
17th Apr 2009, 01:20
When I realised she was 'inviting' someone else to our bed when I was on the other side of the World - or sometimes not even that far away.

I should have stuck a knife in him straight away, I'd have been out of jail now !

Don't get Mad, get Even.

Sproggett - get a dog, at least they're faithful, but be prepared to look after it properly.

Solar
17th Apr 2009, 04:22
Ozzie mate told me how to find out who loves you more, the wife or the dog.
Lock both of them in the boot/trunk of your car for an hour or so then see which one is more pleased to see you when you open it.

OFSO
17th Apr 2009, 06:09
Lock both of them in the boot/trunk of your car for an hour or so then see which one is more pleased to see you when you open it.

You might be in for a surprise and when you open the boot/trunk, find out they love each other more than you !

Roger Sofarover
17th Apr 2009, 07:25
During GW1 we were co located with a group of Marine aviators. Life was as sweet as it could be on the run up to the war, we would often sit and chew the fat with the marines and solve the worlds problems, it very much reminded me as a sort of MASH setup. One of the marines (I found out after the event below) had received a couple of letters from his wife saying she wanted a divorce (nice touch while you wait to go to war:hmm: ), he had written back saying 'hold on I love you we will sort this out when I get back blah blah etc'. Anyway back to the timeline when I was there, Anyway back to the timeline when I was there. It was 3 weeks after his last letter he received a video through the post saying love from his wife. He put the video on in the only facility they had, a tv/video in a very public tent thinking it was a love message and a howgozit with the kids'. The vid started with his wife talking to him wearing very sexy undies and walking around the bedroom, she then said how he must have noticed that the camera was following her around and that a man (if I say Otis you get the idea) was filming her. By now a crowd of about 8 marines had gathered around the TV. To cut a long story short, the next scene had the camera pan around to show four of Otis' 'brothers', all very large dark men, stood naked and 'ready for action', the wife had stripped and whilst entertaining all four bruvvas on the bed the camera panned into her face, and she looked at it and said 'will you give me a divorce now':eek::eek:

The guy ran out screaming, left the video on and the other marines say the rest of the vid was no holds barred calling the 'husband' names throughout.

The marine had to be restrained from topping himself and was flown back to the US a short time later as a mental wreck.

The propensity towards cruelty shown by some humans to others has sometimes, as on this occassion left me speechless.

vonbag
17th Apr 2009, 07:26
Just a load of nonsense what I wrote yesterday night.
As a matter of fact, I will delete it.
We happily know each other from long ago, normal ups and downs, sometimes ethnical fights (we are of two very different countries, one is a Latin the other is a Germanic):
marriage was never over,
maybe because we are very different, because we never get bored of each other, because we share entirely different interests, the one is always trying to convince the other of how good his/her matters are;
one is a believer, the other is an atheist,
with radically different political convinctions, as well.
We have even developed our own language (only the cats can undertsand).
We genuinely still love each other, like it was in the beginning it is now.



[I had (not) to write this under the threat of a sward, think I will take her back to my world :} ]

JEM60
17th Apr 2009, 07:29
Positive post.
Don't give up too soon!!!. Senior management and I are coming up to 38 years of marriage. Very difficult patch when I discovered her affair with my best friend ten years ago. Very difficult period. Acute depression, loss of sleep pattern, suicidal tendencies, lost two stone in six weeks. Trouble is, when you marry someone beautiful, as I did, other mens predatory instincts are aroused.!! HOWEVER, it all gradually came back together. For some idiotic reason that I cannot fathom out, I am still friendly with the 'other man', and my wife and I have remained friends with his, now ex, wife, although my wife refuses, wisely, to see or have any communication her ex- lover. Sometimes it is wise to forgive and [almost] forget, and move on. Life is too short to bear grudges for the rest of you life.
Obviously, there is still regret in the background, but I have her assurance that it will never happen again, and I live with that. Life would be very difficult without her.
WORK at your relationships, sometimes they are worth saving!!.
Sorry to be so candid, but I don't think anyone on here actually knows me!!

Rwy in Sight
17th Apr 2009, 09:16
For those among us that their partner left them for another person here is a joke:

A guy is speeding and is pulled over by a traffic cop (no speed camera just a patrol car). The officer says that is the speeding guy has a good excuse for doing so the cop will let him go. So the driver explains that his wife ran away with a cop and he thought the cop in question was trying to return her so he sped away.

If a partner ran away, maybe he/she is not worth it.

For me in a relation is when I am reasonably relaxed and I don't want to see her.
Rwy in Sight

larssnowpharter
17th Apr 2009, 09:25
When did you realise your marriage was over?

When I said,'Do you realise that it is 3 years since we last made love?'

And she replied, 'No, thought it was more like a year.'

disco87
17th Apr 2009, 09:57
I'm never getting married!

Tintop
17th Apr 2009, 10:19
Topic close to my own heart .... With my ex for just over fourteen years, twelve of them fantastic, last two, the worst two years of my life. What went wrong, I still ask that question but lived in denial for the last two years trying to make it work however, there was no way I was going to win. Lost the lot to the lawyers in the end, I have never been that good with money or advice. But ..........

Spent a year with my head up my backside before my true mates made me pull myself together, and realising that the split was not just down to me, realised that at that time I wasn't in such a bad situation. Got myself together, back on track with work, even joined a gym which did work, stopped listening to outside biased opinions and started to make my own decsions.

Little by little everything came together, and met my current wonderful partner who I can honsetly say makes me happier than I ever was with my ex. Dont get me wrong after five years we have had some real hum dingers but, thats life, and the making up is always fun.

If I knew that i would have survived I would have finished the relationship prior to the two bad years but I guess I was scared of everything. You also find out that were are very complicated bits of kit us humans, and once repaired and healed you do change but only for the better.

And on a final note ..... two years after the split (she left me) recieved a letter at my work of all places, which basically was her trying to say sorry and to see if we could go for drinks ..... old lover boy turned out to be just that and she got her fingers burnt after about six months. You know what I thought ..... I'll give it a miss if you dont mind .....

Stay positive - You will come out the other side

LIMA OR ALPHA JUNK
17th Apr 2009, 10:24
Divorced 12 years now. After 7 years with the ex-wife, I realised I didn't know her at all. Funny species women. I'll never get married again. Blokes get the s**t end of the stick when it breaks down normally.

I'd like to have another kid but can't see myself ever getting married again. Little point anymore as I see it.

BombayDuck
17th Apr 2009, 11:09
I have now been successfully put off by the idea! :uhoh:

Rollingthunder
17th Apr 2009, 11:23
Mine was over before it ever started, but I believe marriage can work if you're committed, love each other with a depth that will survive time and can work as a team on your common goal, a happy life together.

AndoniP
17th Apr 2009, 12:53
makes for great reading this thread. i'm getting married in july :sad:

Roger Sofarover
17th Apr 2009, 13:02
AndoniP

In that case you should think this thread great reading. You have a 1000 years of experience in failed marriage's at your finger tips, read and learn and make a success of yours. I bet many on here would have loved the opportunity to read such tales of woe before they got married, they probably still would be now. Lucky you.


Best of luck:ok:

G-CPTN
17th Apr 2009, 13:15
Probably three (or even four) as there may be others involved.

david1300
17th Apr 2009, 13:16
@Jem60 - well done on working to make it work. Many, many mistakes are made in life and relationships, and it's great to read a story of people recovering from mistakes, and moving forward. I don't wotk in the aviation field (but love evrything to do with flying), but do have considerable experience in this topic, and I wish I could read more outcomes like yours - well done.

Relationships don't deteriorate from one side only. No matter what the final straw is for someone, the other party in the relationship has their story too.

In my case married for 36 years, survived affairs on my part, and (probably out of despeartion/seeking someone who cared) on my wifes part too. Have been through the loss of my younger brother when we were married for 4 years, and my younger sister 18 months later; loss of one of her younger sisters at age 40, loss of our elsdest son to cancer just after he turned 29, and near loss of our remaining son just 10 months ago (still rehabilitating, still unable to work following unprovoked knife attack).

Any or all of these could have driven us apart, and some did for a time (it's sometimes easier to find comfort in the arms of a lover than a spouse when your heart is breaking and you just want to disconnect from the world), but love, commitment, patience have won through for us. And I am very grateful.

david1300
17th Apr 2009, 13:24
Oh, and what do you do if you find you are missing your ex-wife/husband (as the case might be):{









Reload and fire again :p;):p

maggioneato
17th Apr 2009, 13:25
We have been married 44 years. Still love him as much as I did all those years ago. It works when you get the right fella, but he does joke that you get less time for murder.
Marriage has worked for us. :ok:

SpringHeeledJack
17th Apr 2009, 13:34
Using the bare statistics of this thread, it would seem as though there are more members with bad experiences than good. That a handfull have been together happily for several decades really does warm the heart...

Perhaps the younger generation have lost the ability to work at things diligently as their parents and grandparents did all those years ago, to know that it won't do it on it's own. I see many cases of lavish and ruinously expensive weddings planned and little thought given to the relationship and what that might mean and suprise, suprise as soon as the little love boat hits choppy waters it's over before it had begun. I'm sure that there were many unhappy relationships in years gone by, but at least people were guided by society's acceptance back then to work at it, lest shame be brought down on the family.

I would imagine that in the aviation world the statistics of stable/unstable relationships leans in the direction of the latter due to the transitory nature of the work/hours/conditions. Many a pilot has come home to a bitter wife, p1ssed off that she has been holding the fort for the last week(s) with perhaps kids/dog/cat/house/etc/etc making her feel as though it was a one sided relationship, whilst he (aren't i sexist :E) was off swanning around the globe (supposedly) shagging hosties and carousing with the best of the playboys. He arrives home, jetlagged, tired and wanting to relax and enjoy his time home, to spend time with wife and kids, but is instead berated for leaving her alone and unsupported and this needs doing and that and that and..... he feels unappreciated for going to work and providing a good standard of living for his family. And guess what, soon he does shag that hostie and soon she does fall for the attentions of that bloke in the health club and fait accompli... In this respect Michael O'Leary has done a good few families a favour with his home every night system. The sad truth is that neither of the partners are seeing that behind the preconceptions, mundanity? rules and behind the glitz is often the opposite.

Any job that takes one (or both) partners away for regular periods will in most cases eventually lead to dissatisfaction with at least one of the partners. We weren't designed to live like this and be healthy, these 'jobs' are exciting/rewarding/expanding, but for a standard 'family' relationship destructive. There are relationships where the partners are separated for long periods of time, I know of one where he works worldwide on a callout basis on oil/gas rigs and he is gone 90% of the year. I am convinced that if he were seeing his wife and she him on a regular basis, their marriage would have ended years ago. If it were me, i'd have gone years ago if i were either of them, they lead fully separate lives. However, they are 'married' and on the surface successfully.

I see precious little of my own partner and neither of us are away much, a grumpy half hour at 6am, an evening meal at 8pm and in bed sleeping the sleep of the just no more than 3 hours thereafter. Weekends are taken up with the menial tasks of life and 'recovering' from the week! It's all silly really, but this world seems to be getting ever faster and we're having to run just to stand still. Add in children and pets and it's yet more crazyWe are oft told that we "can have it all!" and if ever a bigger lie was purported on the populace, i've yet to hear it.

Many relationships are doomed from the start due to lack of 'due diligence' or wisdom, but that experience only comes about through having had the bad experiences in the first place. Through pain comes growth, or at least that's what they told me at my local S&M club :ooh:


Regards


SHJ

JEM60
17th Apr 2009, 16:38
Cheers, David and others.
Just come back from Caribbean Cruisin. An American ex-cop in Curacao congratulated me on my wife, asked how long we had been married, 38 years, whereupon my wife laughingly told him that if she had shot me, she would have been out by now!!!:):)
Keep working at it, guys.

V2-OMG!
17th Apr 2009, 17:28
Kudos to the mods for not booting this painful but enlightening thread.

Could they please consider extending the same leeway to threads of a similar nature?

Obviously, there is a need to share our angst.

airfoilmod
17th Apr 2009, 17:39
V2!! Angst is for before the marriage. Regret comes after. (Do I have that in the right order?)

Rgds.

AF

kiwi chick
18th Apr 2009, 02:33
I knew within 2 yrs I'd made a mistake but remained hopeful to his denial. Then is just continued to erode. No big blow up ending. I just said I'm done with being a room mate. Only regret... I can't get back my 10 yrs!

Wow, CofF - you could be me.

I would happily get married again tomorrow to the right man.




And to those who find this thread depressing - why did you read it?!!! The title is pretty transparent! :ugh:

kluge
18th Apr 2009, 05:56
...unfortunately the end result of a fantastic and long romance that turns into a marriage that lasts only 2yrs destroyed by alcohol and violence can make it very difficult to tie the knot again even after nine years.

There are things you just can't forecast when you do make the vows and it's a very difficult dilemma when a vow of "in sickness and in health" has been taken to decide at what time you have to get out and break the vow. After all you'd die for the person you marry but don't expect that to happen by the hands of the person that you chose.

I don't think you ever heal. Hopefully not too many relationships get spoiled by a fear of not wanting to get married again but understandably its very difficult for another lady to understand the fear in such circumstances.

Flying helps.

flyblue
18th Apr 2009, 08:02
it would seem as though there are more members with bad experiences than goodWell, happily married people are less likely to answer the question When did you realize your marriage was over?
right ?:E
If you opened a ''When did you realize you had a happy marriage? '' thread then we could compare

Avitor
18th Apr 2009, 08:29
I suppose there would be a clue if the wife announced that the Viagra you have in that drawer won't get used in this house....get rid of it. :}

Lon More
18th Apr 2009, 09:01
I hope you rose to the occsion with a suitable reply Avitor

ShyTorque
18th Apr 2009, 09:15
I'd like to thank my wife for three very happy years. 1978, 1991 and I think the other one was 1995.

Been married for thirty though.... :uhoh:

ExSp33db1rd
18th Apr 2009, 09:22
I think SpringHeeledJack has put it in a nutshell. I used to think that life as a Longhaul pilot was a marriage saver, Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder etc, certainly the first few years were like having a honeymoon every week ! Didn't last, opportunity and The Devil Makes Work For Idle Hands took over.

Often wonder if the present I.T. age makes a difference ? I never once picked up the phone to 'phone home' a) it wasn't that easy, and b) it was bloody expensive at 3 pounds a minute 40 years ago, Transatlantic calls were only for the rich and famous, and as for trying to call from India or Africa or Australia - forget it, one had to book a call days in advance sometimes. Sounds like excuses, but that's the way it was, no text, no Skype or Outlook Express- remember ?? Ex-communication didn't help, I'm sure - but then ....... I guess if one now rings,texts, or e-mails the crew hotel at 03.00 and the other party ( partner ) isn't there ????? !!!

OFSO
18th Apr 2009, 09:49
A female member of my family was complemented one day and told how lucky she was, "what with all those lovely so-feminine dresses and gowns your husband buys you".

Having not seen any of them she checked the back of his wardrobe, and found them - all in his size.

They are no longer married.

(Note, this isn't a social comment but a statement of fact. What anyone wants to wear is their business.)

Avitor
18th Apr 2009, 09:49
I hope you rose to the occsion with a suitable reply Avitor

It did not actually happen to me, Lon. Had it done I might have replied something like, What makes you think they are for use in *this* house? ;)

V2-OMG!
18th Apr 2009, 17:01
V2!! Angst is for before the marriage. Regret comes after. (Do I have that in the right order?)

airfoilmod, perhaps.

But that blast of true angst (and regret) that numbs any semblance of your former self like an arctic chill occurs when you receive the first letter from their lawyer, listing the demands.

To quote my favourite divorce lawyer: "Criminal lawyers see the bad at their best. Matrimonial lawyers see the good at their worse."

Nothing is more horrific than the deconstruct of sex and property.

larssnowpharter
18th Apr 2009, 18:05
My ex and I shared a great distrust of lawyers and their ilk. One recalls we sorted out the settlement over a bottle of wine in the kitchen and then visited a lawyer the next day to get them to file the papers.

We both noticed the look of disappointment on the face of the lawyer when she was told there were nothing to go to court over.

Re-entry
18th Apr 2009, 20:03
With you on that one larss.

Going through it now, and we have a daughter.

No need for lawyers at all, we just walked in the courthouse, filled out the papers and watched a video entitled 'Listen to the children'.

Paid the court fees, and one of us must attend a court hearing (because a child is involved).

Done deal, not a lawyer in sight.

kiwi chick
19th Apr 2009, 04:58
Re-entry... long may that last.

I don't want to burst your bubble, but lots of break-ups start out like that when there's kids involved (mine did) - but once the appearance of a "third Party" occurs, things can change drastically. :(

Anyone else had that experience? :confused:

Wiley
19th Apr 2009, 05:53
Had (have) a friend you, when he and she decided to go their separate ways, sat down and drew a line right down the middle - she got the house and the remaining mortgage with him paying a small adjustment that meant he got to keep his superannuation. There were no kids and no animosity involved; your classic "amicable split".

Until...

One of her female friends told her she should see "this terrific lawyer, just to make sure everything's all ok".

The "terirific lawyer" turned out to be a pitbull, who, within a month or two, had them snarling and at each other's throats.

End result: he lost nearly everything, and, after the lawyer's fees and court costs, I suspect the wife ended up with less in hand than she would have had they stuck with their original plan.

parabellum
19th Apr 2009, 06:18
Once the lawyer becomes professionally involved they have to ensure that at no time in the future they can be taken to court themselves and be hammered for neglecting the best interests of their client, so, pit-bull mode 'ON', leave no stone unturned, go for everything. Sad really.

max1
19th Apr 2009, 11:54
Mate went through a divorce got the highball offer from the ex's lawyer, his lawyer gave him the lowball advice (we can fight this).
Mate said he wasn't interested in playing 'lawyer tennis' agreed to highball offer and hasn't looked back.
His, and probably her lawyer, were gutted.
He has gone on to bigger and better things.

Capt Claret
20th Apr 2009, 11:53
Pressed the redial button on the phone,expecting to talk to some one at the local hospital, instead got my then bosses home. :ooh:

Devastated at the time.

Still sad about the affect on my two sons.

But, life's been great since then!!!!! :ok:

woollcott
20th Apr 2009, 12:29
...........when I came home and found my wife in bed with a fitter and turner.

How did I know he was a fitter and turner? As soon as he saw me, he went and made a bolt for the door...............

B-boom-boom-tish

Capt.KAOS
20th Apr 2009, 12:32
When did you realise your marriage was over? Luckily it was finished even before it got started...

Ancient Observer
20th Apr 2009, 12:54
We've got 30 great years to-gether. I'm not sure whether the long haul absences helped or hindered that. I am sure that my long haul absences DID negatively impact the children, though.
Any other views on the long haul absences?

SpringHeeledJack
20th Apr 2009, 17:11
Any other views on the long haul absences?

If amazing attention to detail is observed, then a path can be found through the mess of constant separations with regard to children. As we know, children are very perceptive and react to influences even if unable to verbalise their feelings when younger, but as my old granny used to say, "children and animals need familiarity in their lives" and after trying different ways, i'm inclined to agree with her. If mummy and/or daddy are always leaving for periods of time many children feel insecure, the fear of abandonment lies deep within us all. If it were possible to travel with the brood then that might be beneficial, though it would leave them rootless when adults i'd wager. Some of the nicest people i've met have been either a) very happily established in an area since the beginning of time or b) those who lived in various foreign places when growing up but retained their national culture :8

Perhaps the former have contentment, the real kind that comes from stability and the latter have personalities/abilities from being adaptable and good at fitting in. It's so hard to turn down careers that offer pay and travel and opportunities that the 'stay at home' kind does not, but when all the checks and balances are done which is better for a healthy family unit ? If one or both of the parents are unhappy that will come through to the kids and they might be happy to see the back of you for half the month, but assuming that the adult relationship is healthy then the absences had better be shorter than longer, no matter how many Buzz Lightyear toys are brought back from far off shores as recompense.

Bloody tightrope....


Regards



SHJ

OFSO
20th Apr 2009, 18:40
Any other views on the long haul absences?

For the past eight years my wife has spent about two weeks out of every six ministering to her aged and ill parents in a furrin country. I love the fun, noise and laughter when she's here (not to mention her superb cooking) and I enjoy the peace and quiet when she's away. I love her company, and I also love being solitary - for a short while.

On occasion I moan about her being away so much, but frankly it's all a lie. Two weeks out of every six is fine with me (but none more than that. Even one day more than two weeks is too much of a good thing).

StaceyF
20th Apr 2009, 19:00
I feel I should put some positve spin on this. Been married for over 30 years and still love her. Lets hear some of the positives.

22 years here (been with him since August 1984 and the days of Wham!, Culture Club and all those other cheezy 80's outfits).

Had our mortgage paid off by the time I was 36, life's a big bowl of cherries with whipped cream.....

But I accept others aren't able to keep it together like we have.

As my dear old mum used to say, if everyone was the same then it would be a boring old world.

larssnowpharter
20th Apr 2009, 19:03
Any other views on the long haul absences?

When I was working for Aunty Betty, I was frequently away from home. I had a file which my wife was aware of and I kept updated. It was a detailed set of instructions about who she should contact, what she should do in the event that I did not come home.

I am convinced that the late calls requiring me to pick up a 'go bag' and coming back a month later, without having any contact and without me being able to say much about where I had been, did not have a positive effect on our marriage.

SpringHeeledJack
20th Apr 2009, 19:56
When I was working for Aunty Betty, I was frequently away from home. I had a file which my wife was aware of and I kept updated. It was a detailed set of instructions about who she should contact, what she should do in the event that I did not come home.


So that narrows your identity down to either Bond, James Bond, or Andy McNab Mr Larsnow ;)


Regards


SHJ

gingernut
20th Apr 2009, 20:14
Wow-what a sad thread.:(

In my job, I realise the importance of going out of the door with a kiss even though the old tw*t can be a bit finnickerty.

N'owt worse than a loveless relationship though.

redsnail
20th Apr 2009, 20:53
I'm a comparatively newby at the marriage stakes. It'll be 4 years this September.

First time for us both, I was 40 when I married the Big Fella, he was 38. :ok:

Before we agreed to it all, we sat down and talked about kids, living locations, jobs etc. Got all the "deal breakers" sorted.

I'm away a lot but I try and call him/text him every day. I miss him when I am away and love coming home. :D

The Big Fella's my best friend, husband, companion all rolled into one. :ok:

No one's perfect and it's important to remember that. :)

Cheerio
21st Apr 2009, 08:17
Incompatible people usually find out about it pretty soon and go their separate ways.

The tragedy is when otherwise compatible people fall apart due to associated pressures.

Flash points:
- Being away from home more than 50% of the time (Some careers are just like that. You have to decide: Career or marriage? Then roll the dice.)

- Having a child-centric relationship (What to do when they are gone?)

- Having adolescents in the house (The hormones swilling around do strange things to people, let alone the pressure of living with slobby, pushy, know-it-alls who never flush a toilet and empty your wallet ("well you had me" etc... Don't be one of those contemporary mummy martyrs, once they a grown, get them on their own feet and out asap. Get your own life back on your terms.)
My advice, though many will disagree - Children are a by-product of a relationship. Always remember, you didn't marry the child. Partner comes first. What use to a child is a child-centric divorce?

Be aware of and deal with
- Coping with boredom: You won't want to bang her brains out every night for the next 25 years, you will want the occasional night off :} Lust does not equal love. Cope with the transition. Don't go looking elsewhere. Look at the menu by all means, but don't eat out.

Always expect:
-People change You do, they do. If you both accept that you are partners against adversity, you should be OK.

Incompatible people usually go their separate ways within a few years, but it always seems sad to me to see those long-term but empty-nesters break apart. If they got that far, is there really something that much better out there, that will serve the next 20 years? The marraige vows are unfashionable but remain valid. (Especially the 'obey' bit..... :p )

GANNET FAN
21st Apr 2009, 08:44
An extraordinarily honest thread by all who have contributed. What struck me right up to page 3 was the surprising lack of any reference to children and how they react to divorce. Kiwi Chick and Spring Heeled Jack brought the subject up (apologies if I missed others) and it can be devasting to kids of all ages.

I was lucky that my divorce had very little effect on my two boys and a bonus that they get on famously with my two stepsons.

One thing is for sure, a cast iron certainty, hammered in stone, I will never stray from this nest, a) because I don't want to and b) at the back of my mind is the horrific thought of competing lawyers and their fees, even leaving aside the trauma involved.

OFSO
21st Apr 2009, 09:46
For the past eight years my wife has spent about two weeks out of every six ministering to her aged and ill parents in a furrin country.

Let me add to that - when she's away we average some half-a-dozen text messages every day and about 20 minutes in phone calls - per day.

And been married 15 years.......

SpringHeeledJack
21st Apr 2009, 10:50
'They' say that 2 weeks is more or less the limit to be separated from a loved one before a gradual fragmentation takes place, perhaps that's just nature at work rather than anything sinister. Modern technology certainly makes it possible to stay in touch by proxy, but in the 'old days' 10-15 years recent, that just wasn't on. Long distance international phonecalls were ruinous, a fax possible, but it wasn't a letter, and er.... that was that. As Ex-Speedbird stated he often didin't contact his wife at all whilst away and i don't imagine it was because he was an insensitive barsteward, it was just the way. My own preferred way was a letter and i loved writing and receiving letters, even with a photo or newspaper clipping attatched illustrating some topic or latest news. I can't recall the last time i wrote or received a letter by post, other than a bill :O

Perhaps Skype and such can trick us into keeping the intimacy going that is necessary for a healthy relationship ? In a way disjointed relationships have never been easier, but i'm not convinced it's any better in general.


Regards



SHJ

V2-OMG!
21st Apr 2009, 18:41
I was lucky that my divorce had very little effect on my two boys and a bonus that they get on famously with my two stepsons.

You're lucky.

The catch-word today is "blended family." It's my obervation that most step-sons/daughters/brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers blend like oil and water.

ChrisVJ
21st Apr 2009, 21:02
We have often wondered about the value of realism in a marriage. Should you discuss what would happen if the marriage failed or should you not because the thought might be father to the deed?

Mrs VJ and I often talked about what would happen if we broke up. It usually descended into "You have to take the kids," "No, You have to take them." In the end we stayed together because the kids would have been too much to manage on our own. At least that is the story. The more likely story is that she doesn't sulk for more than a few minutes and never allowed me to either.

As for communication. I went to boarding school rather early and in fourteen years I must have spoken to my parents about half a dozen times on the phone from school. Maybe that is why I am fine being away and not calling, however when Mrs VJ is away and I am at home I miss her dreadfully. She has gone to Seattle for the day and I am waiting for her call, she has only been away a day!

notmyC150v2
21st Apr 2009, 23:56
My marriage came dreadfully close to destruction about 6 years ago. I got to the point where I was actually looking through apartments and working out budgets to live on my own.

I had calculated how much I could afford to give to my wife for child support etc and knew where I would be living. We went away for what must have been the most awful, stressed and miserable holiday ever at Christmas time in 2003 and at the end of it she said that she wanted us to go to marriage counselling. I agreed knowing that I was going to move out in 2 weeks.

We had our first session a week after we got back from holidays and everything came out. How sad and miserable I was in the relationship and what I thought was going wrong. She was horrified when she found out I had found a place to live and had worked out the support payments. Following that session I agreed that I wouldn't move out and would keep trying. We had daily sessions for a while and then weekly for about 4 months.

Suffering depression at the time didn't help either and I went and got some help for that as well.

I didn't move out.

I am not going to say that it has been all beer and skittles since but at least we worked on communication better.

We will be celebrating our 14th Anniversary this year.

kluge
22nd Apr 2009, 03:11
notmyC150v2 - for others going through similar would you recommend counselling services ?

It seems you had success.

Would you please share what worked for you.

Thx K

notmyC150v2
22nd Apr 2009, 04:56
I would recommend it on only one condition, and that is that you went in wanting it to work.

If both of you want the marriage to succeed then the counselling will work for you. The problem comes when one of you is not being honest and doesn't really want to stay. This just delays the inevitable. Some friends of my wife separated and went into counselling and it failed miserably. We found out later that the husband was driving to the sessions from his girlfriends house... (well duh!!!)

I guess my wife and I just stopped talking about how we were feeling (sounds corny I know) and what was affecting us. I really didn't want to go but I just couldn't cope with staying either whilst the relationship was that fractured.

We were very lucky and had a counsellor who could come to our home and who also could understand depression as she suffered it herself. My wife suffers from depression (initially post partum) and I subsequently, over a period of three or four years, suffered from it as well. It was therefore very important that the person we had as a "talking post" understood exactly what we were going through.

It was difficult for me to open up in front of a complete stranger (although I seem to be having little difficulty in front of you lot) but what eventually turned on the water works was when she asked me what I would miss most if I left. I just said that I would miss talking to my best friend every day. Was a mess for a while after that. After she left at the end of the first session it was pretty clear that we still had a fair way to go but that we both really wanted to try. That is why I stayed.

Although I would hate not being able to see my two wonderful boys every day they were not the reason I stayed. I have never believed that you should stay in an awful relationship "because of the kids". I firmly believe that the only time a marriage is worth keeping is when you genuinly want to talk to your partner and hear what they have to say on any issue. Anything else is just painful and damaging for everyone, especially kids.

So yes I would recommend counselling. I recommend being brutally honest in front of them. I recommend listening to what they have to say and being open to their suggestions.

There are of course no guarantees and I will admit that I consider myself very lucky but surely something so precious is worth trying to save.

kluge
22nd Apr 2009, 05:01
I appreciate your post. Good advice. Thank you. The best to you both ongoing.

kiwi chick
22nd Apr 2009, 05:08
I thought I might add my wee opinion of councelling here.

I think it can only be of help if there is a chance of saving everything. And if BOTH parties agree on that. I couldn't be more sure of this.

My ex wanted to go to councelling, but I didn't. Why?

Well, he had been the first one to mention that he wasn't happy in our marriage, and with life in general. I was totally blown away, I had always thought that if anyone was going to have the balls to do it, it would have been me.

So we tried to work on it, asked his parents for help with the chicklets - up until this point we had only ever had 1 night away from them, and it was from 1700hrs until 0900hrs the next morning (my 30th birthday party...) They were at this stage aged 7, 5 & 2.

After asking for help they graciously gave us one night, during which we went out to dinner. All we had to talk about was the kids. It was very, very sad :( (and I use that word in it's literary sense).

After struggling through things for another four months, he went away for the weekend on a sports trip, and I realised on the Sunday afternoon that the girls and I had had a better time without him than we ever did WITH him.

so the next morning I said that I was pretty sure our marriage WAS over, and he moved out that night.

I think, to be honest, I had started dealing with the separation BACK when he first mentioned it. I had a gut feeling he was right, so by the time I bought it up again, I was halfway through the emotional process of being apart.

He wanted to go to councelling (here's my point... ;)) but I didn't - because I KNEW that there were going to be things said that would hurt him terribly. In my own mind, I didn't want to save my marriage because it wasn't worth saving. I didn't want to him have to hear the things that I would be forced to say in front of a stranger to truly convince him that I didn't love him anymore.

One of my best friends (male) went through exactly that situation and said the hurt he saw and felt on his ex-wife's face will be with him forever.

Does that make sense?

kiwi chick
22nd Apr 2009, 05:11
Wow, notmyC150v2, SNAP. I didn't see that before I posted, I was too busy typing mine.

All the best to you.

david1300
22nd Apr 2009, 05:18
@notmyC150v2

Thank you for an honest assessment. There is so much truth in what you say - about being open and honest, about the effects of depression, wanting to make it work, or at least give it a good try, listening, opening up. What have you got to lose?

In my view, if any relationship is going to end, at least have it end with each party saying "I gave my best, I was honest (with myself most of all, and my partner too), and I can move forward with integrity."

I wish you guys every happiness and understanding of each other as you travel life together. Your attitudes will certainly help.:ok::ok:

V2-OMG!
22nd Apr 2009, 05:42
In my view, if any relationship is going to end, at least have it end with each party saying "I gave my best, I was honest (with myself most of all, and my partner too), and I can move forward with integrity."

Umm, the recurrent idea that divorce will convert contractual enemies into
natural friends --
I'm sorry David, but this usually ends up being reclassified as fantasy fiction.

But I was also impressed by the honesty of kiwi and notmyC150. It sounds like C150 married for the right reasons, and he and his wife had a genuine interest to preserve what they have.

david1300
22nd Apr 2009, 06:41
@V2 quote: " Umm, the recurrent idea that divorce will convert contractual enemies into natural friends -- I'm sorry David, but this usually ends up being reclassified as fantasy fiction."

[Which followed my comment of "In my view, if any relationship is going to end, at least have it end with each party saying "I gave my best, I was honest (with myself most of all, and my partner too), and I can move forward with integrity."]

No, that's not what I was trying to say. I was trying to convey that people at least walk away with their personal integrity, at whatever level they are comfortable with; and with freedom to never have to look back and say "If only I had ..... then maybe .....". I don't mean to imply that they have any future relationship at all with the other party (no 'natural friends') - they might do, they may not. But it's themselves they have to live with forever.

Capt Claret
22nd Apr 2009, 10:12
It is my opinion that a good counsellor will not take sides, rather will guide the conversation so that the counsellees get to the root of the problem, and the get guided to coming to their own solution to the problem.

Counselling can fail when one or both counsellees interpret the counsellors words or actions, impartial as they might (should) be, to be vindication of one person's position over the other's.

It can also fail when one or both counsellees see counselling as a forum to garner support for their argument and position over their partner's.

sisemen
22nd Apr 2009, 10:30
the counsellees WTF???? :{

the counselled :ugh:

Cheerio
22nd Apr 2009, 10:32
The participees of councilization?

airborne_artist
22nd Apr 2009, 10:37
For the past eight years my wife has spent about two weeks out of every six ministering to her aged and ill parents in a furrin country.

Let me add to that - when she's away we average some half-a-dozen text messages every day and about 20 minutes in phone calls - per day.

My wife of 22 years has just come back from six weeks in Oz. We averaged about the same, sometimes more, in texts/mins on the phone despite the 9 to11 hour time difference. God knows how my parents managed when my Dad was at sea for up to nine months at a time in the 60s/70s with no comms apart from airmail. But they divorced after 25 years, with no third parties on either side.

cockney steve
22nd Apr 2009, 12:01
Quote:the counsellees

WTF????

the counselled

The participees of councilization?

Shirley...they're defined as













The COMBATANTS :}

Binoculars
22nd Apr 2009, 14:11
I'm not going to share my own experiences here, but I would like to congratulate NotMyC150 and Kiwi Chick for their painfully honest posts. Anybody who has been through the situation themselves will see grains of immutable truth in both their postings.

It's the sort of thing that keeps drawing me back to JB; somewhere in all the nonsense is the odd diamond that adds to my understanding of life, and that understanding will normally have to be imparted by other people.

Good luck to you both and all others in the same category.

kluge
22nd Apr 2009, 15:04
some of the best advice I've read. Thx Capt Claret :ok:

"Counselling can fail when one or both counsellees interpret the counsellors words or actions, impartial as they might (should) be, to be vindication of one person's position over the other's.

It can also fail when one or both counsellees see counselling as a forum to garner support for their argument and position over their partner's."

G-CPTN
22nd Apr 2009, 15:59
It only takes one person to break a marriage, but two to rescue it . . .

Whirlygig
22nd Apr 2009, 16:20
However hard this may be for some people to appreciate, the view from the outside is that it takes two to wreck a marriage; the husband and the wife. Any other influences are incidental. From the inside though, it's only one (the other one) as it's is difficult to understand the errors one makes themselves.

Cheers

Whirls

Binoculars
22nd Apr 2009, 16:22
Can you run that past me again, please Whirls?

kluge
22nd Apr 2009, 16:36
Whirls - also sage advice.

Aka - make sure first before throwing a brick through a window that it's not a mirror.

V2-OMG!
22nd Apr 2009, 18:18
I had a friend - was lauded as one of the "best" marriage/relationship counsellors in upstate New York. One day I asked him, why they hell do most marriages fail - can you give it to me in a nutshell?

This was his post-mortem, in a nutshell.

"Men are not as secure in their roles and identity as they once were, and this is further weakened vis-a-vis marriage and fatherhood. A common complaint I hear from husbands is this: 'After the children arrived, I just didn't feel very important anymore.' So, he spends more hours at work or on the golf course. The wife now feels invalidated and pulls away sexually. This is the kindling of an affair by one or both, but in my practice, more husbands have affairs than wives. "

I then asked, "Is the marriage beyond hope by then?"

"In the context of an affair, it depends entirely upon whether or not the husband or wife will sideline the affair during the counselling process. As long as one is involved in the affair, they will rewrite their marital history. The counselling process is futile."

"But you must have some success?" I asked. "What is your percentage of success?"

"It's difficult to track, but I would guesstimate that 30 - 40% of my couples are able to resurrect their relationship to a degree which is satisfactory to both. If more couples sought pre-marital counselling, there would be less marital counselling and divorce."

parabellum
24th Apr 2009, 01:26
1piuJzS7H-4

(Sorry, the Youtube embedded URL thing simply won't work for me, maybe the browser but it just pumps up a garbage URL).

ParaB, copy the string that comes after "v=" in the URL and embed that using the http://static.pprune.org/images/youtubefinalng6.gif tags.

SpringHeeledJack
24th Apr 2009, 07:56
That was hilarious Parabellum, except for that relationship. We'll never know what was going on in the marriage before then, but the speed at which the wife condemned her husband, without even speaking with him was shocking. Major self interest issues that aren't condusive to a stable marriage at all. I'll be huggy fluffy and say that it was probably the post birth hormones that clouded her judgement and that his joke was ill advised...


Regards



SHJ

kiwi chick
24th Apr 2009, 10:40
:oh: :oh: :oh:

gulp.... oh my goodness that was painful!!

brickhistory
26th Apr 2009, 17:20
Bbv8d6tBFFI



16 years later and this still kicks my @ss when I hear it.


Brick, copy the string that comes after "v=" in the URL and embed that using the http://static.pprune.org/images/youtubefinalng6.gif tags.



Sorry, thanks mods!

frostbite
26th Apr 2009, 20:28
I have tried the link because I've got it here anyway, but I bet those in the yookay who try it will get 'this video is not available in your country'.

Thanks PRS!

Flash2001
26th Apr 2009, 23:00
In answer to the original question: Early in a short, unpleasant, conversation with a process server.

After an excellent landing you can use the airplane again!

RJM
27th Apr 2009, 05:59
It was something about the way she said "I do."

You know, the tone of voice... :cool:

kiwi chick
27th Apr 2009, 09:33
RJM, you mean kinda like when we say "fine"...? :E

Hot 'n' High
27th Apr 2009, 13:28
OFSO

With my second wife it was about 24 hours before we got married - yet I still went ahead, knowing it would be a disaster, and it was.

It wasn't even self-deception since I could see it coming......

Spooky – my exact situation! No obvious way out at present, so life plods on until I get some inspiration. Not sure I would have a third go tho!

Nothing, but nothing, beats a human being's capacity for stupidity.

….. and, in the League of Stupidity, H ‘n’ H is up there with the very best of ‘em - well, you gotta be good at something in life!!! I’d only screw it up yet again!!!! :}

Thankfully, no kids of my own – only those that came with Wife #2.

Ho hum!!!! :ok:

frostbite
27th Apr 2009, 14:38
It is said that, when you marry for the first time, to keep her on her toes, always introduce her as "This is my first wife".

OFSO
27th Apr 2009, 14:58
Well, Hot 'n High - Thankfully, no kids of my own – only those that came with Wife #2 - in my case those two kids that came with the second wife were a major factor in the break-up of the marriage. Teenagers, also (see other thread about teenagers !) who used every hellish trick under the sun to play us off against one another, to get their own way.

No that's not fair to them: they could have been OK if treated fairly, i.e., without favouritism by their mother.

Warning to anyone thinking of marrying another person with children from a previous relationship, who are going to come and live with you - don't even think about doing anything so stupid.

Hot 'n' High
27th Apr 2009, 15:58
OFSO, on the whole the kids are good - Uni age and older now - but I know what you mean. Had a few rows there but, in the main, I've been very fortunate. Just other problems really! Ho hum!

Frostbite,

always introduce her as "This is my first wife".

"This is my current wife." works a treat too! The lack of any numbers only serves to increase the level of uncertainty!!! After all, she thinks she is Wife #2 but, on the other hand!!!!!! :}

Sadly, not brave/stupid enough to try it but, as in the original Reggie Perrin (the classic one) ... the thought crops up now and again when meeting people for the first time...... :p

Cheers,

H 'n' H

OFSO
27th Apr 2009, 16:16
Off the thread a bit, but I'll say this since I don't want to be thought of as a teenager-maligner:

Our neighbours have MAGNIFICENT teenage children. When we eat together - sometimes at our place, sometimes at theirs - they set the table, bring out the food, serve us, and afterwards clear everything away. And when they bring kiddy friends, the friends are cast in the same manner. And they are great to talk to, have intelligent thoughtful opinions, and often cast a new light on things (new to boring old farts like me, anyway.)

OK, back to marriage. Yes I am in favour of it, and my present (and last) wife is a constant joy and blessing to me. She just goes to prove "if at first you don't succeed, try try try again". And you will.

(However cynics might be reminded of the guy who ends up with a beautiful lass in heaven. He asks her what he did in this life to be so rewarded. She explains he has got it wrong. He is Her punishment.....)

mary meagher
27th Apr 2009, 20:23
And here's a message from the other side....

Heard a song about a guy who saw an ad for a brand new LS4 glider, only five hundred dollars, including the trailer, gps, parachute, etc etc. He phones up at once and a nice lady answers. Can it be true? Hold it for me! I'm on my way! And sure enough, there in the drive, in the trailer, a brand new LS4, flight director, GPS, etc etc etc. He writes out a cheque on the spot.

And says to the lady, why are you selling this wonderful glider for such a low price? Well, she answers, my husband ran off with a teenage girl, and sent me an urgent message. "Need money right away! Sell the glider!"

!!

kiwi chick
27th Apr 2009, 23:31
:D :D :D Fantastic!

RJM
28th Apr 2009, 05:20
kiwi chick "Exactly." (said with subtle, acid tone... :hmm: )

We could have a whole forum on what women mean when they say 'Fine.'!

Lon More
28th Apr 2009, 05:59
mary meagher sounds like a variation of the $50 Porsche (http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/revenge.asp#porsche). The Ebay wedding dress story on the same page is brilliant

GANNET FAN
28th Apr 2009, 08:51
At the end of a perfectly trivial exchange of views (!) with my (second)wife over a sleeveless jumper I was wearing, she didn't even look up from the paper she was reading and just said, "...yes, I'm sure your next wife would just love that one", and then a bit later, "take it off, remember I've got this divorce malarky sorted!"

Cracked up laughing.