View Full Version : The Bruise of Frustration -Your biggest regret

Too Short
15th Apr 2009, 22:35
I'm talking kicking oneself. You know, those times you turned down something you really wish you hadn't, or just simply missed the boat.

Mine is a couple of years ago, being offered a half price ticket to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on their last world tour when they visited my town. A colleage was let down by someone at the last minute and offered the ticket to a few of us at the ridiculously low price... I took a little too long (20 minutes or so) working out the logistics of getting there etc, and by the time I said 'yes', they were in someone else's hands :{

Still smarts to this day, it does. :ugh:

So, what's your bruise of frustration?

15th Apr 2009, 23:00
TS: As your theme reinforces, it has been said many times that the things we regret most in life are not things we did, but things we didn't do.

It was a gorgeous June day in the early 70's. I was 20 years old, single, and working as a newbie controller at a small regional airport in western Canada. A B-17 dropped in to refuel and clear customs on its way from Texas to Alaska to spend the summer fighting forest fires. The flight crew came up to the tower to ask some questions and file a flight plan. When they realised how wide-eyed I was, they asked if I wanted to join them for the trip north. My boss, who was sitting in the tower cab at the time, said, "I'll give you the rest of the day off and you can take a couple days of leave to add to your days off. I'm sure you can figure a way to get a cheap ride back from Anchorage. Go for it."

I didn't. I still can't look at a picture of a Flying Fortress without wincing.


15th Apr 2009, 23:33
word comes to mind. starts with bo, and ends in ks :{

mona lot
16th Apr 2009, 00:23
Was gonna put £200 on Mon Mone on this years Grand National:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

Standard Noise
16th Apr 2009, 04:34
Was gonna put £200 on Mon Mone on this years Grand National
Bookies would have loved you! Now, if it had have been Mon Mome?:}

My life seems to run along with a series of little frustrations. Selling property too early (for expediency rather than need). Sold my dream car instead of putting it in storage for a bit, still struggling to get past the necessity of current ride to buy dream car again. Only three weeks ago, found a car I have been tracking down and told the dealer I needed a few days to sort the finance, rang him back three days later only to be told, 'sorry, sold it yesterday'.
Delaying the purchase of tickets for a show the wife really wanted to see, then deciding to go for it only to see the cheaper tickets for the best show time sold out and having to buy the most expensive for a time that wasn't as good.
And that's just a few examples.

One that didn't get away though was the offer of a flight in a Dak. When I worked at Coventry, Air Atlantic came into possession of an ex-South African AF DC3 still in mil camo colours and markings and went up for a jolly over Warwickshire. Fantastic, just a shame I didn't have a PPL as they had offered to let me sit in a front seat rather than stand behind the jockeys. Ah well, never worry.

16th Apr 2009, 13:35
A couple of years after I left home to go and work for Big Airways at LHR, I got posted back to Newcastle for the summer to work in their res office. At the time Dan-Air were flying a Saturday service with an Ambassador NCL-Carlisle-Isle of Man and the single fare to Carlisle was just 18/- (that’s 90p). Train fare back would have been half that, I guess.

Week after week I said I would do it the coming weekend and Saturday after Saturday I put it off for another week. Then – hey – I ran out of Saturdays and that was that.

That’s the aeroplane department. Now in the female department …

16th Apr 2009, 20:04
You mean things like this, grizz?


Boeing B-17 Flying Fortresses were once widely used to fight forest fires. In recent years all the surviving B-17 tankers have been restored to stock military configuration. Many of them remain airworthy.

Goleta Air & Space Museum: Boeing B-17 Tankers (http://www.air-and-space.com/Boeing%20B-17%20Tankers.htm)

16th Apr 2009, 20:17
Talking to friend about greatest regrets in life...seems like everyone has one huge regret in their life which still haunts them. So fellow JB'ers...whats your biggest regret in your life??

Knowing that regret...has there been anything you have done in future that stopped you from making similar mistake...and was a positive thing?

My regret is not going to watch Man Utd v Bayern Munich in 1999 Champs League final...i had a ticket but i had GCSE exam next day so chose not to go. Because of hangover i got a C on that paper when was predicted A. What a waste, should have gone to what would have been best game of my life . Sorry for football related one, bit rubbish i know!

So yours? Doesnt have to be sad...can be funny one! :)

16th Apr 2009, 20:22
going to uni.

Accumulated over £12,000 of debt and didn't overly enjoy most of it. There were a few good nights out but I really just didnt want to be there.

Hagbard the Amateur
16th Apr 2009, 20:25
Not accepting a free front row ticket to see Bill Hicks live at Manchester's Royal Exchange Theatre in the early nineties because I was knackered and had been rehearsing all day (I didn't know who he was at that point. Trouble is, he was dead when I did.)

16th Apr 2009, 20:26
Same answer as my post on the Marriage thread.

I few very few regrets. My marriage was a sham and I lost 10 yrs staying in it. :ugh:

Oh, well....

16th Apr 2009, 20:31

Wow, what a great pic! And you got me going on that website (when I should be working!). A couple of years ago, while chatting over a few (too many) beers with some other old ATC friends, one of the guys said he thought the B-17's that went north that summer (1971) through Penticton were from a company called "Butler". The website you found seems to confirm that. Thanks for the link!


16th Apr 2009, 20:56
And, just for the hell of it, this looks like one dropping it's guts on a fire


16th Apr 2009, 21:12
Not going to fly Her Majesty's nice shiny airliners as they offered to me, instead of digging in my heels to fly her "mucky" helicopters. :rolleyes:

Probably had more interesting flying, though. :ok:

But no in-flight rations :(

16th Apr 2009, 21:13
griz, not wishing to be controversial here, but my reading of chiglets post is that he is expressing sympathy at your continual regret over the lost opportunity? the clue might be in the smileys...I believe the expression (Bo-cks) he was referring to would be the word you would utter every time you thought about it?

tony draper
16th Apr 2009, 21:23
Not going to watch Apollo 17 lift off when I had the opportunity.:(

Too Short
16th Apr 2009, 21:36
When I was younger and naive, I trusted a complete rat :hmm:

That said, the regret is diluted by the fact that I learned valuable lessons from it, so not all bad.

In my late teens/early 20s I went off the rails a bit and commited some acts of gross stupidity but without any adverse consequences, so down to luck, rather than judgment, thankfully I don't have many regrets.

Since passing the age of 25, I tend to use more judgment than luck so here's hoping there won't be any major ones to come...

16th Apr 2009, 22:03
1. Not exploring deeply enough, early enough to find ways around my marginal colour vision for a professional career in flying (my colour vision is up to FAA standard but not UK, I discovered much later).

2. Turning down an easy import opportunity offered to me on a plate in the 'nineties that earned someone a large amount of money in a short time. One of those too-good-to-be-true bar room fables, except this one was real. It was not the money but my lazy stupidity that hurt.

3. Starting smoking (at 20 years old).

16th Apr 2009, 22:09
yep I agree with mustpost; reading the smilies certainly indicates that chiglet was sympathising with you missing out on that opportunity.


missing out on a flight on Concorde back in the mid '80s. My then girlfriend, now ex-wife, had arranged for us to have a 'meet-and-greet' with the vicar and I turned down a 14 day stint in the US that culminated in a chartered Concorde from JFK to Paris for all the crew in order to attend. :ugh::ugh:

16th Apr 2009, 22:20
You obviously missed my meaning. It was NOT to decry the firebombers, far from it, it was "bollocks, I've missed a flight in a B17"...aren't I a mucking idiot....
Done it myself...tho' not of the B17 quality

16th Apr 2009, 23:13
chiglet --

Tis me who must apologise. It was the use of the word "b**ks" that sent me on to the wrong track. In my part of the world that word is only used to mean "BS", so I ranted when I had no reason to. I owe you a beer or two. Meanwhile I've asked a mate to smack me upside the head.


16th Apr 2009, 23:59
Holding my tongue rather than telling a life-long friend not to marry someone I knew in my heart of hearts was fundamentally dishonest. Though I had no direct evidence, all the signs were there.

The gods editorialized on her marital future. As she was exiting the cathedral where the deed was done, a flock of doves was released as a celebratory gesture. One of them alighted on a lamp post and pooped on her custom made Vera Wang wedding gown as she was being helped into the limo to be driven to the reception.

Within ten months her life had turned very dark, and while friends have rallied round to support her, unwinding this very bad marriage has cost her dearly, materially, emotionally and spiritually.

I won't make this mistake again, even if it costs me a friendship.

17th Apr 2009, 01:02
Not applying to Aircrew Selection for the RAF. The logical part of me knows my eyesight isn't up to it (I need glasses for my Class 1 medical) but my heart still says "yeah, but what if?" :sad:


17th Apr 2009, 04:26

1) Snap. Did not know enough to try USA. Was not as easy to do things like that back in the sixties. It is sometimes difficult to remember the world was not always as accessible as it is today.

17th Apr 2009, 05:25
A little bit of a drift here but when asked what the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life is I respond with "I don't know that I've made it yet".

17th Apr 2009, 09:09
To have studied too hard as a teenager.
My eyesight remained impaired, maybe also due to improper illumination.
This, on the years to follow, would bring all sorts of drawbacks,
including people telling: with that glass face what else could you do
but stick to study engineering.
Therefore, I could never achieve my strong wish...
to become a fighter pilot :{

17th Apr 2009, 09:20
That I never managed to fulfill my childhood ambition. I ended up chasing money, and now with my 50th birthday looming, I have put myself in a place such that I'll never be a train driver: :{

17th Apr 2009, 09:58
Aged 15, living at RNAS Eglinton where my father was serving, was asked by one of the Avenger pilots if I wanted a trip on test ride. I said no as I was going to meet a girlfriend.
I've regretted this ever since.

17th Apr 2009, 15:25
Many and varied mistakes but one springs to mind. In the early 80s I was asked if I wanted to buy a boat, ex WW II MGB, for £4500. I said no. It was in original condition including the engines - triple Merlins.

A couple of years later I figured out what I could have got for the motors.

17th Apr 2009, 16:22
I don't think I can answer this, but I find it amazing that somebody could consider as their biggest regret the opportunity to make money.

17th Apr 2009, 21:42
Regrets, none.
Frustrations, many.

17th Apr 2009, 22:54
Where do I start? Biggest regret is ever wanting to fly. As a result, I avoided a possibly interesting military career, or quite simply a career in anything else I might have been capable of, various relationships and quite possibly the opportunity to be the person I actually am deep down. Take away the licence and I am an unskilled manual worker. In my single minded pursuit of the objective, life basically passed me by. Now I have little money, no job security and no pension to worry about losing. Even though the flying is enjoyable and I am been paid to fly which after all was the ambition. I do consider myself lucky in that sense.

The irony of all that is that a few years ago, I believed the biggest frustration was that I was bureacratically unable to even apply to be a military pilot or for airline sponsorship. I consider now that I probably wouldn't have been accepted for either. So was only fooling myself.

That just proves regrets can change. I don't have a regret in the sense that I turned down something, which I later regretted. More frustration that the opportunities never presented themselves in the first place, despite sometimes dogged pursuit. It seems I kept missing the bus. Fate playing games.

But I don't really do regrets, I have a lovely wife and two wonderful sons. If I had the chance to go back in time to change things. I wouldn't do it because of the risk of losing all three. No point in regrets with a future to look forward to.

kiwi chick
18th Apr 2009, 04:04
but I find it amazing that somebody could consider as their biggest regret the opportunity to make money.

Why do you find that amazing? I totally get it. How many people simply "miss life" cause they are too busy striving for the next hundred or thousand or million?

Fate stops for no man, so if you happen to be looking down at your cheque book too often you might not see the best thing in the world walk past.

:) That's what I think anyway.

18th Apr 2009, 06:23
....not many but

1. Turning down a job offer from Cisco in 1990 preferring to stay with a larger company because of the "security" - God how I learned from that one.

2. Every beautiful girl that I was too shy to talk to - hhhmmm this may be a blessing in disguise though.

3. Not pursuing an aviation career despite my passion for flying and notwithstanding all the moaning I hear/read from airline crews.- hhmm again this may also be a blessing in disguise - "To make a small fortune in aviation, start off with a big one"

4. Marrying a girl who turned into a violent alcoholic - thankfully resolved quickly.

So not many really and I still fly but on my terms.

18th Apr 2009, 09:11
but I find it amazing that somebody could consider as their biggest regret the opportunity to make money.

The thing is that it would have taken a lot of pressure off from money worries at the time that I didn't need anything else. At a minimum it would have meant I could have spent a more time at home instead of having to work away a lot while the kids were growing up.

The way I would classify a decision I regretted would be making a decision which has resulted in unalloyed bad things happening. Generally all the major decisions in life lead to both good and bad things happening, with the good outweighing the bad as a rule, so I can't say I regret any of them deeply. Had I done things differently it would have changed things but there is no way of telling if it would have been certainly for the better or the worse - all I know is the results have been different.

18th Apr 2009, 09:24
Not having a camera and not collecting some of the massive amount of memorabilia strewn about on a hastily abandoned WW2 US fighter base.
I was engaged, after the war, in dismantling nissen huts.

Lon More
18th Apr 2009, 09:44
With hindsight, there hve been a few things that I would not have done, and quite a few I should have ddone

However you can't go back and although it's easy to picture her as Mrs. Right, that job as a perfect one etc., who knows. You might have ended up murdering her. You might have washed out in fighter training, or worse, found some cumulo-granite.

Me, I didn't left a girl in the UK to seek my fortune here. (She died about 6 months later) However i subsequently married and had 12 great years and one crap. Outlived her too. Retired at 55, further up the ladder than i originally expected to be retiring at 65.

Made a lot of great friends on the way. Presently have a Girl friend. Who knows what the future brings

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18th Apr 2009, 10:08
er...I presume that you don't mean that Elvis was your girlfriend ?

18th Apr 2009, 13:49
As someone else said, I don't really 'do' regrets. Over the years I have been fairly impetuous and would never give up a chance such as the ride in the B17. One such opportunity prented itself to me in the 70s and resulted in an exceptional couple of weeks with a guy fire fighting in Canada with a PBY.

However, before joining the RAF, I was on the verge of a successful career in acting. There was a 'tipping point' when I decided I would rather fly. But I have often wondered what would have happened if I had gone down the other route.

I hasten to add that this thought is not out of regret.......just curiosity.

Mish Nish
19th Apr 2009, 23:37

Check out traindriver.net - I've got no idea if they're legit, but nothing venture, nothing gain (I just googled train driver, because it seemed so sad that you never followed up on your dream):

Page Title (http://www.traindriver.net/)

Just do it!!! Doesn't mean you'll necessarily get a job as a train driver, but at least you'll get to drive trains during the training, hopefully.

20th Apr 2009, 00:03
However i subsequently married and had 12 great years and one crap.

I'll bet that was one helluva crap.... :E

20th Apr 2009, 14:06
The Lamborghini Miura S I didn't buy in Turin one year.

It wasn't that expensive - the dealer had a 911 turbo at twice the price. When I asked why the Miura was so cheap, he said "turn your head" (I was sitting in the driver's seat at the time) "and look at the size of the fuel pipe feeding each carb." Then he told me what the insurance would be.

Bet that dealer isn't in business any more - too honest.

Still can see it in my mind's eye, though.

20th Apr 2009, 14:27
but I find it amazing that somebody could consider as their biggest regret the opportunity to make money.

Kiwi Chick, I suspect it may have been my poor sentence construction at fault here. Perhaps if you add the word "missing" between "regret" and "the" it would make more sense and you may find you and I are on the same tram.

Mad's Dad, I know of what you speak, and I have beaten myself up constantly over the years for not being the provider for my kids that I should have been. But now they are almost all grown up, and I know not one of them cares a whit about whatever one of their friends may have got that they didn't. They love me, and I am constantly amazed by that.

Now my baby, our little mistake, has just turned 16 and has her learner's permit. What a fantastic last opportunity to bond, and what fun we are having. On her second lesson I introduced her to the joys of a handbrake turn, and her girlish squeals of delight almost reduced me to tears. I suggested quietly that her mother didn't really need to know about this advanced learning technique, so it is our secret.

So I suppose I was just saying that anybody whose biggest regret is anything that could be remedied with money is perhaps misplacing their priorities. I may not ever get to realise my dream of throwing a Ferrari sideways around a racetrack, but it's a pretty shallow thing to wish for, really.

21st Apr 2009, 09:03
There was a time, when I was 15 and so was she. A certain young mademoiselle offered me all the keys to the castle and some good company on the side, but I didn't jump fast enough to grab the prize..as it came and went.


(Woulda been calamity nine times over, but what a fine way to go....) What is time for, if not adventure? Why breathe, if not to strive for some quest like the brief pleasure of that sweet quivering ..... ta-da?

21st Apr 2009, 11:50
(Woulda been calamity nine times over, but what a fine way to go....) What is time for, if not adventure? Why breathe, if not to strive for some quest like the brief pleasure of that sweet quivering ..... ta-da?

There was a cartoon I saw years ago: God gives Adam a penis, explains what it's for - Adam's jumping up and down cheering - then God says "just one thing Adam" - "Yes, God ?" - God says "you can't use it".

Having a sense of morality is one thing I really regret. It would have been nice to blithely avail myself of all the nookie that's been offered me over the years, but - married man that I am once more - God has said the same thing to me that he said to Adam as regards "other wimmin".

Burnt Fishtrousers
21st Apr 2009, 13:52
Having failed the OASC RAF pilot entry and being offered Flight engineer/AEO entrance... and not taking it...fool!