View Full Version : Find me if you can

mona lot
13th Apr 2009, 00:16
After years of guiding reps to meetings in Swindon and steering Private Pilots into controlled airspace, finally someone has found a practical use for GPS;

Modern Day Chastity Belt - GPS Lingerie Funnymos.com - Funny news and weird humor - Daily Updates (http://www.funnymos.com/gps-lingerie.html)

Too Short
13th Apr 2009, 11:47
I really don't see what this garment achieves. Ok, so it can reaveal one's tracks but can it say what one did along the way? Didn't think so! :E

Neither can I see it being any use as a safety device for the reason that if the wearer goes missing, so does the GPS and the recorded track...

It looks an uncomfortable lump to carry around and wouldn't lend itself to wearing under that close fitting sexy little black number.

Ridiculous - but then no doubt some will be ridiculous enough to buy it! :}

13th Apr 2009, 13:15
Probably sell like hot cakes amongst the Middle Eastern population of London;)

Sir George Cayley
13th Apr 2009, 20:09
In a time long ago and a land far away there was a castle. In it, the handsome Prince and his new beautiful Princess bride looked forward to a blissful life.:ok:

Then, the King sent a message that he needed an army and that the Prince should raise one, to show true alligence. It would be a long campaign and mindful of his new wife's .. ahem, appetite, he commanded a silver chastity belt be made for her. As was the tradition, she submitted to wearing this abhorrent implement that both sparkled and restricted.:uhoh:

Our hero Prince, on making ready for departure summonded the old family retainer to give him a task. "Here, o' faithfull one. You are old and weak so look after this key in case of dire emergency!" "Yes young Sire, it will be my duty" gasped the old man.

After half a day of riding, the Prince looked back for the last time on his beloved lands, his mighty castle and the lusty wife he must leave. But what is that? Riding at speed past the columns of troops, stores, baggage and artillery is horse and rider:eek:

Swift as the wind the pair hove too at the Prince's side. 'Tis the old faithful retainer. Gasping for breath and with trembling hand he holds something out.

"Sire!" he wheezes..

"It's the wrong key!!!!!!!!"

Sir George Cayley

13th Apr 2009, 21:11
Presumably, the old wrinkled retainer was named Scrotum?

mona lot
13th Apr 2009, 21:13
King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the greatful monarch, "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected." After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest.
Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahadhis.
"Sir Galahadhis ", exclaimed King Arthur, "The one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!"
But Sir Galahad was speechless.