View Full Version : Prooners having served in terrible bands with utterly cringeworthy names…

7th Apr 2009, 21:53
My name is Mr SCUD and I was in terrible bands with utterly cringeworthy names including:

‘Morphic Fields’ (indicative of mind-altering substances which nobody was actually taking)
‘Temple Dogs’ (something to do with singer’s chainmail codpiece, latex shirt, nipple ring and interest in tattoos)
‘Even Now’ (God knows…)
‘Homegrown’ (indicative of less harmful mind-altering substances which some were actually taking and producing for the edification of others)
Decades Apart (indicative of age range of members)

Now back to playing solo in my bedroom… where it all started…

7th Apr 2009, 22:06
Bass & Vocals, "Twangs of Desire", 1990.

That is all.

7th Apr 2009, 22:31
Now back to playing solo in my bedroom… where it all started…

Me too. I was formerly what I would assess as a pretty good rotten alto sax player. I could give you notes, or I could give you rhythm, and occasionally both at the same time.

We had a cat Kasimir at that time, and he found my music sheer delight. He would sit on the window-sill, in a hypnotic trance. It was good to have an appreciative audience, however humble. He did not have to sit there. It was entirely voluntary. To the eyes of other sax-lovers I could bring salt tears. The only combo that would have me was infested by a lady clarinet player, and she was a pretty rotten rotten clarinet player, below even my standards. That was a common condition among lady clarinet players. Awful, really.

For various reasons I laid the horn aside for ten years, but last week I went back for my first refresher lesson. Kasimir is dead, and Leo the neighbour's cat
took off like a shot when I dribbled through a trial G7. Practice lies ahead.

Little Blue
7th Apr 2009, 22:57
Ok...........here goes..
1980-82 - The Slides (All a bit Mod-ish) Vocals
1982-84 - Terminal Two ( Thought we were Duran Duran...) Vocals/Guitar
1984-85 - Terra Nova ( Nowt new about the crap we were playing !)

and, finally...

1992 - present......
The Chimney Fish....(cos we smoke like chimneys and drink like.....well, you get the picture) Vocals/guitar chimneyfish (http://www.chimneyfish.com) !
We used to be called the Mother Funkin' blues band, but had a few complaints over the posters !

8th Apr 2009, 07:14
I pleayed lead guitar in "The Veeble Peeple" in Leicestershire 1965-66.

Derivation: Mad Magazine.

But great fun ! Oh and before that, lead guitar in "Gary and The Midnights" around Narborough and Enderby, Leics.

8th Apr 2009, 07:26
I knew of someone who played in "The Four Skins".....

Curious Pax
8th Apr 2009, 07:45
Legend has it that there's some fella on here in a combo called "Iron Maiden" or some such. Can't believe it'll amount to anything with a name like that....

8th Apr 2009, 08:10
Vocals & guitar. Brodie, then Shifting Steel.

Arm out the window
8th Apr 2009, 08:53
"Brian Westlake's New Messiahs".

8th Apr 2009, 09:02
"Now back to playing solo in my bedroom… where it all started…"

Please don't tell us that you are an organist :oh::=

Mr Grimsdale
8th Apr 2009, 09:20
Wet Cherry... nuff said.:ok:

Tyres O'Flaherty
8th Apr 2009, 09:22
Still doin it so I'd better maintain a dignified silence

8th Apr 2009, 09:24
My dad was in a band called the Symbolics. He would come on stage and introduce himself by saying; 'I'm Sym and these....'

He still thought that was funny thirty years after the fact.

8th Apr 2009, 09:40
"The Etcetera" any good? :O

8th Apr 2009, 10:54
"The Consuls"

We had a popular local band called "The Zephyrs" and another not so popular called "The Zodiacs"

You need to know your old Ford motor cars to understand. Anyhow, we thought it was original.

8th Apr 2009, 10:56
We had a Consul & a Zodiac. Them were the days. The Zodiac as I recall was a proper s***box & me dad used to call the Consul the submarine, on account you couldn't see out of it. Good onya Blacksheep, you just took me back to my childhood for a minute there.:ok:

8th Apr 2009, 11:48
I saw a Zodiac being restored when having my exhaust replaced only last week:

also, in keeping with the thread, had two 'virtual' bands - in as much as we never went public!!:
1966: Bacon Feet Ramesey's Doolaly Ensemble (early copy of Bonzo Dog)

1970: IVB - Intermediate Vector Boson (playing 'heavy' music)

Oh, the shame...

Mr Grimsdale
8th Apr 2009, 12:23
I saw a Zodiac being restored when having my exhaust replaced only last week:

Can you sit down yet?:E

Charlie Foxtrot India
8th Apr 2009, 14:47
Two bands I was involved with as a bass player back in the late 70s early 80s, Sterile Androids of Mass Production, and Dead Heroes. Both very loud and fast punk bands. Those were the days...

8th Apr 2009, 15:16
Bass guitar in school band 'Argus Tuft', 1971 to later in 1971.

No-one else could play bass and neither could I. We were best known for our horrible version of 'First of May' by the Bee Gees. Our end of evening 'slow number' was also 'First of May' played even more slowly.

Ignored by the critics, and with our only groupie the drummer's sister, the band drifted apart before any actual recording took place. A tragic loss to the world of popular music...

Perhaps we should have tried country, or techno.

At this point, no reunion has been considered. The other band members and I simply ask that the public continues to respect our privacy.

Also played the washboard once for the 'Moonshine Jug and String Band' when the real washboardist could neither speak nor play his instrument.

8th Apr 2009, 15:20
as bassist for the Grass Roots at a gig in 1969, obscure enough?

8th Apr 2009, 15:40
I remember Limp Rick and the No Balls at the Ricky Tic in Windsor - UK

Ace Rimmer
8th Apr 2009, 16:07
Was in the Stupid Babies circa 79-80 punkish band (gawd we were crap) got a play on John Peel once though with a song about Girl Guides...

The Yachties 85-87 (also pretty crap but we had one guy who was pretty good) purveors of heart rending ballads of longing and regret like "I shoulda Farked her up the ar$e" and so forth we only had two proper gigs mostly just fooled around in a mate's garage-

8th Apr 2009, 23:03
Thanks one and all. At least I know it wasn’t just me…

8th Apr 2009, 23:10
Best name for a band of pilots ever:

Crash Axe

We had a song called "Lavatories Aft."

9th Apr 2009, 00:41
1997 - Britpop cover band without a bass guitar player = Nobassis(Cringe)
1998 - Did mostly Stone Roses covers now, even the glorious Second Coming tunes and called ourselves The Clone Roses, sheesh!
1999/2000 - Beginning of the end for the band, as we headed off to different parts of and Britain for uni, although not before considering names like Epic, Teutonic, Dec8(Dec-Ate).

Lord have mercy on our souls!

Howard Hughes
9th Apr 2009, 00:41
'The Human Zoo'...:rolleyes:

Best band name I ever saw was 'Freddie and the F#ck F#cks', anyone who went to the 'Espy' in the early nineties would know what I mean...:E

9th Apr 2009, 00:59
Brass Bands ?
Footscray Yarraville (Aus)1972 to 75 playing Tuba :uhoh:

9th Apr 2009, 08:37
Ah, now I remember - well it was 20 odd years ago. In the TV newsroom band called "Noddy and the Cutaways" (for the Christmas hop). We had Sky Sport's Jim White as lead vocal..PM me for details..:E:E

9th Apr 2009, 08:56
Where do I start- 25 years as bass/vocals in many dodgy bands:

Bog Ugly and the Wooftahs
The Norfolk and Good Band
Vintage Afghan
The Beer Brothers
10 Beers After

And Many Others !

Mr Grimsdale
9th Apr 2009, 09:37
There was a band at university called Vertical Smile.

Another was called The Mystery Machine, the name only made sense when they played the Scooby Doo theme tune as the final song of the night. Actually they were pretty good and the name was alright too.

Anyone ever heard of Anal Beard on the London club circuit in the mid/late 90s?

Captain Stable
9th Apr 2009, 10:13
Shag Connors and the Carrot Cruncherrs.

Oooh arrrrrrr.....

Pitts Flyer
9th Apr 2009, 16:53
Twiggy Zobdirt and the Voles from Venus.

9th Apr 2009, 17:15
Having served on the skins in my school band "Freeway" (named after the pooch in the TV show "Hart to Hart") we decided on a more catchy name.. and became "Skilled Embryo"..

Still think the best one is the UK band "Up yer Ronson" those unfamiliar with rhyming slang will fail to see the amusement.

B Fraser
9th Apr 2009, 21:36
The Nearly Blewitts..... and we very often did :{

9th Apr 2009, 21:47

Which I could never figure out because there were five of us. :confused:

Jelly Baby Freak
10th Apr 2009, 09:06
When the lead guitarist, Nigel, decided we should go punk in the late 70's, he wanted to name the band 'Nigel Nasty and the Afterbirths' - needless to say we didn't quite agree on that one!!

10th Apr 2009, 12:22
Not a musician, but once had a job photographing The Bitter End.

mr fish
10th Apr 2009, 21:45
best pub band i ever saw, "BAD AXE",
sample set list,
CONCORDE SONG, lead singer invites crowd to make paper aeroplanes,
light them and launch them at the band!!!,
PAULA YATES, sample shouted lyric, "what do you call a
dirty slut-----------paula yates"!!!

and of course the 5 second classic, "i--had--a--w:mad:k--in--IKEA!!!

Dak Mechanic
11th Apr 2009, 04:16
I was one of the guitarists in "Snatch Tractor" circa 1996. My career never really took off.


12th Apr 2009, 17:45
I'm disappointed that no-one from Hedgehoppers Anonymous has yet come forward.

12th Apr 2009, 18:02
Played lead guitar in a Merseyside group called The Standards between 1970-1972.I was still at school doing my A-levels,so I was a rich schoolkid but a crap student.We rose to obscurity so I departed for Uni.

Dak Mechanic
13th Apr 2009, 05:14
I'm disappointed that no-one from Hedgehoppers Anonymous has yet come forward.

My father used to work with the former drummer of said band (25 years ago!). Lived in North Walsham IIRC.

Arm out the window
13th Apr 2009, 05:59
"Tragic" was another I had the good fortune to be part of ... who could forget the time the talented Roller Merlin drummed himself right off the back of the elevated stage?:)

13th Apr 2009, 11:13
I seem to remember that Andy McLusky's ( Orchestral Manouvres in the Dark) first band was called Hitler's Underpants.:ok:

Mr Grimsdale
14th Apr 2009, 13:55
I never saw this lot myself but a friend went to Scotland and saw a Black Sabbath covers band called Black McSabbath.

14th Apr 2009, 14:10
Friend of mine wanted to play lead guitar in a heavy metal band, but found it too soft and dull. He then tried to play a bass, but it swam away. He's been a bit hard of herring ever since.

14th Apr 2009, 16:36
2NF, early eighties, Gtr. Manchester. I let you figure out on your own what that stood for. We were three, all playing the guitar (and washboard etc). Maybe the lack of a decent bass player and drummer saved us from becoming even more popular. Gigs? None. Groupies? Sure. That's what it was all about eventually. :cool:

2 are still playing, one in England, one in France.

I haven't touched a guitar in the last 10 years. Shame on me. :\ :ooh: :{

17th Apr 2009, 08:01
When I was alot younger, I wanted to play the Guitar like Hendrix and the Drums like John Bonhem. I ended up playing guitar like Ringo Star and the drums like Hank Marvin. :E

17th Apr 2009, 10:38
Mr Fish wrote: and of course the 5 second classic, "i--had--a--whttp://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/censored.gifk--in--IKEA!!!

Must be about the only thing in IKEA that doesn't require an allen key. Unless your name happens to be Allen Key......

Mr Grimsdale
17th Apr 2009, 11:03
Must be about the only thing in IKEA that doesn't require an allen key.

It doesn't? I must be doing something wrong.

17th Apr 2009, 11:20
Played drums in various dodgy outfits:

Ca. 1981-82: Fronturlaub (playing lousy lousy punk)
Ca. 1982: Emil und die Detektive (playing lousy, lousy punk and Neue Deutsche Welle)
Ca. 1982-84: The Schweineprieser Zweidrittel (playing slightly lousy punk and bluesrock)
Ca. 2001-2003: The CargoLifter Employees Band, who never bothered with deciding which name to adopt, out of a variety like The Heliumheads or King Carl And The Big Lifters (playing any cover version the members agreed on, which was a bit of a problem ...)

17th Apr 2009, 13:36
Flugholm, being as I am now working with a number of excargolifter peeps, I can understand your last statement perfectly "(playing any cover version the members agreed on, which was a bit of a problem ...)"

Roller Merlin
21st Feb 2010, 05:34
Arm-Out-The-Window has been in too many bands and pairings to mention, all of which were held up by his sheer talent. It was only natural for the lesser talented mortals try and play along.

I do recall waking up on my back after falling off the stage backwards ....somewhere in Egypt...an I thought many bourbons made you play better...was I wrong or what!:p

Arm out the window
22nd Feb 2010, 07:50
What was most impressive was how you jumped straight back up and started drumming again as if nothing had happened!:ok:

22nd Feb 2010, 08:08
"The Pipes and Drums of No. 1 Group Bomber Command" is not exactly the most inspiring name ever. We weren't crap, mind; just very drunk a lot of the time...

I'm now restricted to playing acoustic guitar (Nephew borrowed me amplifier and won't give it back until he graduates and returns in triumph to Malaysia) in the bedroom, 'cos it disturbs the missus when she's watching QVC.

22nd Feb 2010, 11:53
A friend of mine who still plays drums told me about a band he knew of and always wanted to play with:

Dickie Ticker and the Pacemakers

22nd Feb 2010, 13:19
Amongst bands I had associations with were
Big Dick and the Rampant Erections and
The F*cking Tourettes