Captions Please!

[SASless]

I nicked this photo from another site but think it makes for a good "Caption This" Thread.

http://sjdrimages.com/Mb/UserUploads/otk7Nay44GnJ20.jpg

[heli-cal]

What do you mean, its not a good landing, I walked away!

[helofixer]

Reason #3504 that I hate doing track and balance work.
(note the hand held strobe hanging below the aircraft)

[Pablo332]

Do you want it in the tech log?

[fernytickles]

Ha! We don't need no stickin' remote control door opener...

[Scattercat]

"No further left"

[r1flyguy35]

Shortened, lightened & better visibility but still won't fit through the purpose built door

[Solar]

The sooner they fit brakes to these ground handling wheels the better.

[SMOUFW]

''Anyone Home''

[Heliringer]

"Boss, we got it to .1 on the mains but I don't reckon I can take it out on that job on monday. Yeah, yeah it's parked as close as I could get it to the hangar"........"About that time off I asked for"



Anyone know the story behind this one? I could not imagine ringing my boss and telling him that I just did this.

[P1DRIVER]

Where did that building come from - never saw it - honestly !!!!!!!!!! :eek:

[dragman]

"Lucky those hanger doors were there, otherwise we may have damaged the chopper"

[dragman]

"Chicken coop for sale"

[Ding Dong]

I swear .. It was like that when I got here !! .. :p

[SASless]

"Honest Boss....I had the strobe and the Engineer wuz holding the sticks!"



Or......"By Gawd! That cleared the Engineers out of the Tea Room!"

[birrddog]

"Chicken coop for sale"
thread drift, though I was flying in a friends Piaggio Avanti from NY to the Bahamas.

9 Seat aircraft, though there were 5 of us, with all our luggage, groceries and fishing and diving gear, the only thing missing were the chickens.

You know you are appreciating an aircraft when.....

[iainms]

Hanger rash ?:rolleyes:

[heli kiwi]

"NOTAR"

wow imagine explaining that one.

[Low Flier]

"You're only supposed ta blow da bluddy doors off!" (http://new.wavlist.com/movies/240/ijb-blowdoor.wav)

[nervouspassenger]

"Fantastic, one owner MD500. Low component hours. Fresh metallic silver paintwork. Low component hours. ADF, Autopilot (no manual), SAS (non-operational), RADALT, Leather Upholstery (Pilot's seat base slightly stained). Low component hours. Needs minor work to get flying again, $2 - 3,000 tops. Great school project for someone. Low component hours. Re-build and fly in your back garden! Serious offers considered but nothing silly please. Starting bid $1, no reserve........"

[diginagain]

"Is that somebody at the door, dear?"

[Kelly Hopper]

And the winner is:

When I said "just hover taxi it into the hangar I meant........"

[ROTORVATION]

"Don't worry boss, a bit of T-Cut and a polish should take that ding out!"

[WylieCoyote]

Instructor: "Okay Bloggs how do you think that went?"

Bloggs:"Well I tried to lookout like you told me but the hangar got in the way."

[Droopy]

No boss, I haven't emailed the customer a picture of his new aircraft yet, I'll do it now. ....You don't know where that old photoshop CD is do you?

[heliduck]

"Not my fault, it was LTE!!"

[thatscaptaintou]

With the benefit of hindsight, David felt there were probably easier ways to create an opening for the new window

[Coconutty]

Another mission completed by Magnum "P.I." ( Pathetic Idiot ) and "T.C." ( Total C**t )

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/PIandTC.jpg

( "Clot" - of course ;) )

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[twinstar_ca]

"Larry Hagman's 1st couple of attempts at starting the 500 IN the hangar did not go well" :ugh::eek:

I'd like to know the real story behind this too!!! :cool:

[CGWRA]

"isn't everything supposed to be backwards in the mirror?"

[Paddyviking]

When I said "Close the door please" , I meant the one the one on the Helicopter -- not the hanger door idiot !!

[Tarman]

. . . . . . .would you like fries with your Happy Meal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ma'am?

[SASless]

When I turn out of bed in the morning and have a cuppa....I will pick the "Winner" and pass the baton! Reckon the IPS spiked momentarily on that tracking run?




"Aye Cap'n....we got her down to zero now.....all we have to do is get'em in track!"


"Crap! I can't see the blades for some reason!"


"Testing of the new Stealth Run Silent Insulation Mod had been exposed to the Public by accident!"

[VfrpilotPB/2]

"Not That Door, the other one!!"

Peter R-B
Vfr

[Ground Point 9er]

Engineer to boss...." I know I should have waited till the pilot showed up" :ugh:

Cheers GP9 :}

[1000tintoys]

I told you it's not the same as a Predator!:rolleyes:

[firebird_uk]

"See! I told you I was good enough to land it with my eyes shut!"

[chester2005]

Honest there was a bee in the cockpit!!!!!!!

[ShyTorque]

"Who Farted?"

[206Fan]

"Testing of the new Stealth Run Silent Insulation Mod had been exposed to the Public by accident!"

The latest blue thunder has been exposed then!

[RVDT]

SAS,

I'll pass that on to the guys involved..................................:rolleyes:

[snotcicles]

You have control...

[SASless]

Heliringer for his post that said......

"Boss, we got it to .1 on the mains but I don't reckon I can take it out on that job on monday. Yeah, yeah it's parked as close as I could get it to the hangar"........"About that time off I asked for"




The Baton is passed!

[O/S and BLEEDS]

Missed it, by that much!

or

Sorry bout that chief!

[toptobottom]

I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese, large fries and a coke please. Hello?

[500e]

Hi boss, did you remember the insurance renewal.:E

Do you think the following was the time line.
Push out, run up to do flat pitch, (with ground handling wheels still attached) looks good, Just try hover track, wheels drop & lock down , from then on your a wheeled helio a bit of disorientation "why is the hanger moving towards us".
Or was the pilot trying to fly & operate the Chadwick?

[Camper Van Basten]

"No Fault Found..."

[Grovez]

hogg? Is that you again?

[Dantruck]

"Through these doors pass the world's greatest helicopter pilots" :uhoh:

or...

"Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear" :sad:

[gwelo shamwari]

Honest to god it was wind shear on final approach...

(sounds familiar??)

[rotorspin]

New helicopter........£500k

PPL/CPL(H)............£10k/£50k

Insurance.......£12k

Fuel.......£300

Being the laughing stock of your mates and your fellow colleagues on Pprune......£priceless!

:}

[bkflyingfreak]

I'll just tab the blue blade a little and she's all done...

[heliboy999]

Hi Boss, where's the broom?............why do I want the broom?....ermm I need to put the helicopter away!

"What happens if I press this button?"

Ok....Today we are going to learn about re-circulation.......I would like to point out the hanger to our left.....................

"This NOTAR is great....you have little stress about striking the tail rotor"


I'll get me coat!

[500]

Well I think you jerks are pathetic. Here we have some poor bugger who has had an accident and you pricks who think you are above all that are making fun of it. No one goes out to have an accident do they ? so why do you think you won't ? I can't wait for the day some of you perfect pilots **** it up. Oh but it cant happen to you can it ??????? you bunch of perfect ***** !!!!!!!

[toptobottom]

Well I think you jerks are pathetic. Here we have some poor bugger who has had an accident and you pricks who think you are above all that are making fun of it. No one goes out to have an accident do they ? so why do you think you won't ? I can't wait for the day some of you perfect pilots **** it up. Oh but it cant happen to you can it ??????? you bunch of perfect ***** !!!!!!!

That's far too long for a caption - and not very funny either. Have another go...

[MSP Aviation]

Fault could not be replicated on ground.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The regulators comment: "Enforcement action is being taken against the operator as the no smoking/fasten seat belt sign in the passenger compartment was unacceptably faded"

[SASless]

500,

Stepping on some Corns are we?

[grizzled]

Regardless of the arising tiff, I thought this one was done. As the winner hasn't surfaced in a while, how about a new pic to continue the fun?
SASless? . . . .

[on21]

I don't know,

Fault cold not be replicated on ground.

and

You have control...

are two of my favorites.

[griffothefog]

OK Miss Tilton, what's your spares back up time on this one? :E

[SASless]

Let's try this one....



http://www.tennesseelawman.com/images/web-spec-THP-First%20Helicopter-1957.jpg

[birrddog]

"Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bast*rd!"

[O/S and BLEEDS]

How the hell do we get 'em in once they're handcuffed??:sad:

[O/S and BLEEDS]

And Boss, look at this, there's even a coffee and doughnut holder in here!:ok:

[SASless]

"Let me get this straight Chief.....we're gonna chase Corvettes on the highway! How much of a head start are we going to get?"

[twinstar_ca]

pilot to officer kneeling... "I know you're new to the unit, but everyone has to ride out there once.. right, guys??" :ok::ok:

[Arnie Madsen]

OK Fellas , this is the last time I am going to say it.

I can only take one in the cockpit and you other two are both equally overweight and will have to ride in the baskets. It is a weight and balance thing.

Besides , it is only 8 minutes to the coffee shop from here.

[iainms]

well, he was laying there when I took off !:eek:

[Scissorlink]

Sorry guys, had to bring the 47 as the 500 has a few problems

[RINKER]

Scissorlink, I'm not having a great morning but thanks for making me laugh out loud . Excellent !
R

[Te_Kahu]

If yer ass can't fit in that there basket, you aint gittin here wit me!

[topendtorque]

These here '47's can follow tracks,
carry prisoners on the side, and;
are far cheaper than the new fangled
jet engined thangs.

[SASless]

"Bloggs.....I know you meant well... but we're called Yellow Jackets because of the color of our squad cars and not because we fly!"

[griffothefog]

So if we fly low and scoop the tuna, you think this net will hold?

[ShyTorque]

Wow! Yesterday you couldn't even spell pilot and now you are one! I kneel in your presence!

[grizzled]

Guy on his knees: "Okay Bubba, hang on tight to that stick thingy. I'll pull this here cord and we'll see if she starts."

[bluestack]

"Look, I know I'm thinner than the other guys, but I like donuts just as much, and with a bit more pastry dedication.....why does it have to be me ?"

[ZK-Pilot]

:confused: Theya's gottabe a way to start dis ting Charlie?

[RINKER]

Out a ma way, for gawds sake how hard can it be ! Skippy could fly one .
R

[g-mady]

" I've looked at the MEL, it doesnt say anything about a missing tail rotor, or main blades"

MADY

[Retro Coupe]

"I told you that making rotorblades out of the same material they make hangar doors from was a bad idea but you wouldn't listen"

[Sewing Machine Man]

“Well Mr Hog, on this occasion I’m afraid you’ve been unsuccessful on completing your flight test… Nice take off though“.

[145kts]

I want a white gentex flight helmet to match my socks, look !!

[SASless]

Several very good posts but the one that tickled me the most......was the one by Shytorque.....and I hand the tiller to him!:D

Wow! Yesterday you couldn't even spell pilot and now you are one! I kneel in your presence!



As if anyone kneels for a helicopter pilot!!!

[ShyTorque]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/shytorque/Lowflyinghorse.jpg

[SASless]

Guy in the pink shirt....

"I say Nigel.....you reckon that would work on pilots to get them to fly?

[Tractor_Driver]

Prunella was wondering whether she should have given in to her daughter's demand to buy the biggest helium balloon at the state fair.

[O/S and BLEEDS]

..and it was at this moment sigrid knew she shouldn't have volunteered herself to help the ringmaster....:eek:

[007helicopter]

This electronic cattle prod is more powerful than i thought !!

[g-mady]

The horse spooked when I landed over there? What horse? :rolleyes:

MADY

[grizzled]

Prunella: "WOW! No wonder 'Equine Medicine for Dummies' says to warm and grease the thermometer first!"

[Tractor_Driver]

During the unicorn's annual vacation, Charlie made his bid for stardom.

[iainms]

Fly by wire ?

[Arnie Madsen]

See ... I can fly ......!!!
.... now please stop telling me a I am a pig ...!!!

[toptobottom]

Now THAT'S what I call a fart!

[Lost Again]

"you Were Warned Not To Brush The Hair On His Bo---cks!"

[twinstar_ca]

read your policy and procedure manual, you guys!!! horseplay is strictly forbidden!!!! :=:}:}:}

[ZK-Pilot]

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Horse Float'
I gotta start cutting back on those turnips!!:eek:

[albatross]

It was going so well until the Chinook flew over!

[FoxtrotAlpha18]

Summoning my best Eddie Murphy voice impression...

"That's right fools, I'm a flying AND talking donkey!"

[SASless]

Since Shy Torgue seems to be busy chasing flying horses or being trained by Brunhilla.....I'll call this one a Tie as there were several excellent responses.

In keeping with the original thought of the thread.....that being Helicopter UH-OH's!

Let's try this one.

http://www.flightglobal.com/assets/getAsset.aspx?ItemID=9953

[vaqueroaero]

With regards to the 500E and the hangar door I won't say where it happened or to whom, but if I remember correctly it went something like this:
Aircraft had just been completley overhauled, so was basically 'new' again. On the run up to do track and balance the collective was either raised slightly or was mis-rigged so that when full rpm was reached the aircraft was just light on the skids enough to move. And she did.

Two mechanics and pilot got away with minor cuts and bruises. The pilot was not wearing his seatbelt for the ground run and was thrown out and got pinned between the skid and the hangar door - very lucky not to have been seriously hurt. Always belt up!

[O/S and BLEEDS]

Damn, ok quick, think, think. Bloggs, make a Bunnings Hardware list, quick before the boss sees us. 4 main rotor blades, windscreen wipers, touch up paint, oh don't forget the cut and polish. Anything you think we need?

:ok:

[SASless]

"CAV troopers.....we got to get them over the idea of using their steeds for cover from hostile fire!

[500e]

Any one seen the FM shut down page

[CGWRA]

The Canadian defence minister visits an American Surplus aircraft boneyard

"As you can see Mr MacKay this one is a bit of a fixer upper but it is one of the few we have in your price range"

[ShyTorque]

"The pilot says it happened right after he was spooked by a flying horse".

P.S. Sorry for not being in time to judge the captions to my photo - I had a life to lead the last few days. :ouch:

[CYHeli]

Quiet. What did that helmet say?

[ecureilx]

Ssshhhhh.

Let's get the parts all together and try to put it together again

[Solar]

Valet parking, never trust it.

[O/S and BLEEDS]

Geez, what are we going to tell the boss. We can't tell him we hit the sand dune because we were making fun of the cops in the 47 parked on the side of the road when we rear ended a horse sending it flying into a 500! :sad:

[Lost Again]

"oh Hell The Sloping Ground Limit Of 90 Degrees Must Have Been A Typo In The Manual"

[HELOFAN]

"I'd say thats within 5 feet of the spot wouldn't you Bill?"

HF

[kwachon]

OK, who turned on their cellphone?

[Pandalet]

"What is this 'dynamic rollover' of which you speak?"

[SASless]

The last words on the CVR were "Head stay with me.....feet don't let me down!"

[cockney steve]

Free helicopter kit with every packet of Shreddies

[Darren999]

I know it said "Turn over" on the checklist. But I'm sure it meant the page though...:ok:

[LZCUTTER]

I said very clearly that YOU HAD CONTROL !

[toptobottom]

"Oh hi, is that you Dad? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine thanks. Listen, you know you said I could just help myself to the keys? Yeah, well, we've kinda broken down and I just wondered if you'd be able to come and pick us up...?"

[Scissorlink]

"Look there, at my foot. Do you see THAT soldier??"


"Just as I thought, porn "

[SASless]

"Bloggs! Turn off that video game! See here.... Confirms what I thought.....Teenaged Warrant Officers flying.....see these comic books!"

[ShyTorque]

"Yes, Chief, we've got sand in the No 1 engine and there's a couple of other things need fixing, too".

[SASless]

Twas hard to decide.....several very good chuckles had while trying to decide.

So......I narrowed it down to Pandalet and HeloFan and following the coin toss....I pass the honour to......

HeloFan!:D

Post yer piccie and make your decision next Friday if you would!

[HELOFAN]

Sasless, I sent you a message with a pic or two.

If you wouldnt mind posting them on my behalf as i am still a little picture posting deficient.

HF

[SASless]

Having been bobbing in the oggin for the past four days.....this one seemed appropriate somehow.




http://www.happyhotelier.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/helicopter-crash.jpg

[Torquetalk]

You push the silly buggers back to sea and they still go and wash up again.

[SASless]

Today, the United States Coast Guard reported a Dolphin had beached itself near Plummet Point. Efforts to save the Dolphin were hampered by the tide and its being mired in the sand.

[LZCUTTER]

I told you sea was coming in!

[Tarman]

The engineer thinks that the other 2 blades will be embedded in the sand, but should be serviceable :eek:

[Evil Twin]

In the style of Jeremy Clarkson

"From the very beginning the Dolphin had handling issues, as you can see from the picture even inflating the bladders wasn't enough to save the it round our track."

[RINKER]

Ahh riight , when you said it was flooded and it wouldn't start I thought you meant ...........

[Non-PC Plod]

Air accident investigators are centering their investigation on suspicions that a giant basketball-player was somehow involved in the accident.

[Non-PC Plod]

Or - "The CVR tape revealed the pilot asking her co-pilot if he fancied a roll in the sand"

[topendtorque]

with apologies to Shytorque.


Yes, Chief, we've got sand in the No 1 engine and there's a couple of other things need fixing, too".

[topendtorque]

Or

Shun.
POOoooort Arms.

[CYHeli]

I thought they used to chant "Run me in the dirt!" and "Fly me out to sea!"
Not "Run me out to sea and fly me in the ..."

[Non-PC Plod]

"When I said keep the beach on the right side of the aircraft........."

[ShyTorque]

"Helicopter brought down on beach by two giant potato croquettes and a pumpkin."

Or:

"Oops, sorry, mate! Can we have our beachball back?"

[Flyin'ematlast]

How about......

"I said WASH her not SINK her!"

[O/S and BLEEDS]

"Another one! They go out all night, drink too much and then come to the beach and fall asleep on the sand. Cmon boys, let's wake him up before the tide comes in."

[kwachon]

When I said "Crab it in", I meant...........

[HELOFAN]

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z160/HELOFAN/ch-46e.jpg

[ShyTorque]

"Let's jump in before the previous caption competition finishes"

:rolleyes:

[Evil Twin]

He just said to her "you can drive". Let's get out of here!

[kevin_mayes]

Why have I got this brolly in my hand, I know it won't open at less than 500 feet...

[Pandalet]

Following an in-flight curry, the load-master's solution to a lack of toilet paper on board didn't meet with universal approval...

[Tarman]

I told you we shouldn't have leant on those windows. Now we have to fish them out !:}

[P1DRIVER]

Quick !! we better move I think he,s reversing. :O

[ADRidge]

The annual Marine Corps belly-flop contest was not getting off to a great start. Crew Chief's score for the tandem belly flop: 1.1 for execution, 5.8 for style.

[heliduck]

Who Farted?!?!?!

[500e]

"Quick if we get out before they land we wont have to clean it"
or
Told you those marines cant take a joke

[HoverD]

Ah.... valet parking.....how civilised....:rolleyes:

[iainms]

we have to leg it, i dont have any mony for the fare !

[Ascend Charlie]

The Marines have been trialling the techniques for recovery of parachutists. They fly rapidly rearwards with the "mouth" open, the rear rotor cuts the shrouds, and the parachutists are gobbled up by the rear cargo door.

On this occasion, with the copilot flying by leaning out the crew door, they left it a bit late and almost lost the parachutists into the water. The senior parachutist can be seen strangling the person who talked him into doing this.:eek:

[g-mady]

A new one to keep us occupied!


http://i42.tinypic.com/2nhn78p.jpg

[P1DRIVER]

Pilot to Instructor - Do you think that top will come off if we keep hovering???
Ans. We can hope, you need the hovering experience anyway!!!!!YOU MUST ALSO LOOK INSIDE OCCASIONALLY TO CHECK YOUR INSTRUMENTS!.:ok:

[SASless]

I say Bloggs.....reckon they misunderstood when I asked for a "Top Off"?

[500e]

A better quality of ground handler I have not seen in a long time:E

[plasticAF]

Amazing how she can swing those around so effortlessly:E

[Te_Kahu]

Dagnabit. Wish we'd taken the 214

[rotorboater]

thinking about going down ;)

[ShyTorque]

"Hey, look there mate - left pedal makes her tassles swing round the other way!"

[onetrack]

Instructor to Pilot: "Remember, Jones - distractions that might cause you to lose focus and crash, must be ignored at all times! .... Jones?? .......... JONES!! ......... (screams) - JONES!!!"

[kwachon]

Must be French, look at her armpits!...

KW:ok:

[ShyTorque]

Must be French, look at her armpits!...

Kwachon, so who's been zooming in on the photo, then? ;)

[twinstar_ca]

"reporting abreast of the marker"... :}:E

[500e]

So that's why we are called chopper jocks

[SASless]

Here Bloggs.....let me introduce you to the Missus!:{

[HoverD]

"Mrs Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" :ok:

[HoverD]

Look boys... I've got you an ice lolly! :)

[HoverD]

Looks like 'Clench Common' to me! It's quite a tight little strip .....and the airfields not bad either...Down boy! :rolleyes:

[HoverD]

'Tower...I have visual on Denham 12 o'clock' :rolleyes:

[grizzled]

Pilot to PhotoShop editor: "Hey! WTF? Why is she in colour and we're in black and white?"

[Hughesy]

In the cutthroat world of flight instructing schools, one school spent less money on advertising and hired helipad Marshalls.....seems to do the trick with more students turning up, even from other schools on navigation flights!

[grizzled]

Hello? . . . Hello? . . . .
Anybody out there?

A winner?
A new photo?

Helllloooo . . . .

[SASless]

See here Bloggs.....this proves what I told you about using an "X" to mark the Spot!

[tu154]

There's a helicopter in the picture?

[Tarman]

Just aim for the " w" I mean the "H" :E

[helmet fire]

Nice arse, shame about the helicopter.........:8

[SASless]

"Cheeky Wench!"

Those shorts are so small she has to powder four cheeks instead of two!

[birrddog]

Under the Caption Competition bylaws "This caption has gone on too long with insufficient clever captions with no winner announced" I hereby close the current caption and start another.

Judging Wednesday (Sunday if insufficient captions)

http://www.tensionnot.com/images/images/Amazing651.jpg

[twinstar_ca]

"early versions of the blackhawk did not meet the RFP"... :E

[g-mady]

The all new R66. Now with 4 blades for a "really close shave" :ok:

MADY

[500e]

Your not going to believe this but I tell you it flew in honest

[SASless]

"Mexican Bob" arrives at his new posting as a Loadmaster Trainer at Altus,AFB!

[ShyTorque]

"Yeh, I know it's only a truck but the blonde in the previous caption might not".

[HoverD]

Now that's what I call a good sling load pick up capability....:hmm:

[212man]

The latest proposal to meet the MGB dry running requirements met with a mixed reception...

[22clipper]

The use of twin counter-rotating tail rotors gave the machine excellent directional stability in the taxi, unfortunately the high power demand of the system made flight impossible.

[kwachon]

"Yeah, got it at Wal-Mart, $599:00 and it comes with a $20 fuel card, cool eh"


KW :ok:

[22clipper]

"Struggling auto manufacturers diversify into kit built helicopters?

[TrueAiR]

I followed the universal rule, ON the right, IN the right.

^^ This is for the first picture....

[Pandalet]

Although it met all other requirements, the autorotational capabilities of Bob's Budget Helicopter left something to be desired.

[TrueAiR]

Black Hawk Dumb

[22clipper]

Nowhere was the civilianisation of military flying services more obvious than in the helicopter fleet.

[Te_Kahu]

Git er done

[Torquetalk]

"And this year's hands-down winner in the category Most Rubbish Photoshop Montage is..." :D

[birrddog]

And the winner is...... the first of either SASless or TrueAiR to post a new picture...

"Mexican Bob" arrives at his new posting as a Loadmaster Trainer at Altus,AFB!

Black Hawk Dumb

Some good replies fellas! keep it up!

[SASless]

"Mexican Bob" is a real person....but the photo is not of his pickup as the photo is way too upscale and has no Redman chewing tobacco juice streaking down the sides of the door or dripping off the mirrors.

As Birddog made a personal pitch for me to once again step up to the plate and provide a photo.....I was away sailing and had other draws upon my attention at night....I delayed.

Now that I am back in port for a few days....here goes.

http://strangemilitary.com/images/content/150946.jpg

[Te_Kahu]

"Guv, we know there's a global recession on but...."
"Stop your mithering my tea is getting cold. Crack on."

[Big Pistons Forever]

Sqn CO: I say Flt Lt you do the the crew sched. How come nobody will fly with me ?

Flt Lt: Well sir your last Co pilot is still classed as mentally unfit after your last flight

Sqn CO: but if I don't get my 10 hrs of airtime by the end of the month I will loose my flight pay.

Flt Lt: Sorry sir I don't see how I can help

Sqn CO: If you don't get me in the air, you are fired !

Flt Lt: Wait I have an idea.....

[birrddog]

During these hard times even the defense forces needed to find creative ways to cut back on costs yet maintain operational flight hour requirements.

[Pandalet]

"We're not going very fast, he says...my granny goes faster than this, he says...do you want me to get out and push, he says... Next time, Bloggs, try not to annoy the pilot!"

[Coconutty]

Floats deployed sir !

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[Non-PC Plod]

The modern Air Force comes up with eco-friendly ways of testing the Radalt.

[pohm1]

".........and no, you can't all log it as P1"

P1

[Pandalet]

slight variation on pohm1's post: "No, private, you can NOT log 'pilot 12th in command' time!"

[500e]

clear behind

[SASless]

Young lady in the rear to her Male companion...."Aye Lester....is this what you meant by 'If you want to be a lumberjack then you will have to be willing to tote your end of the log!'?"

[ShyTorque]

Captain, I've just realised why Blogg's hovering has suddenly got better!

[kwachon]

Told you joining the military was just like being on "skid row"



KW :ok:

[Tarman]

I've never seen skid marks on a shoulder before !:}

[Arnie Madsen]

I told you it was the guys on the ground who keep the helicopters in the air.

[kwachon]

"BBC Newsflash"

Squadron members prevent helicopter repo due to Brown (P.M.?) budget interfereing.

KW:ok:

[HELOFAN]

Loadmaster to crewman...

" It's wocka wocka wocka.....not vroom vroom you idiot!"

HF

[Dantruck]

Discipline was always maintained by constant threat of transfer to the tank corp

[dragman]

"You know that noise abatement programme we've been working on? I think I've got it this time......"

[Coconutty]

Instructor ( on board ) to students :

"This is NOT what I meant by 'Demonstrate Translational Lift' now PUT ME DOWN !"

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[Coconutty]

.................... No posts here for 12 days - and the winner is ????

Is it time to limit how long each Comp remains active ?

... or is it just a bit of fun and not worth the effort ?

It seems the competitions can get forgotten about for a-g-e-s ...

What does everyone think about limiting each Comp to 1 month - ending on the last day of the month ?

This would of course need the "winner" from the prvious month, to commit themselves to selecting a new winner at the end of the month ?

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[dragman]

Too many rules! You don't work for The Feds, per chance?

[Coconutty]

The Feds ! - Naah - Just wondered if it was worth moving things along a bit - no rules - just a thought ;)

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[Pandalet]

If you'd like to start it up again, post a photo and invite comments. A week or so seems to be about the right length of time before picking a winner.

[Coconutty]

OK - I should have read the opening message title "Captions Please!" - so it's not a "Competition" after all !

So here you go ......

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/BrummyAirSupport.jpg

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[birrddog]

Frank Robinson performs the first test flight on the new R-11

[22clipper]

It was after a group excursion to one of those trendy art galleries that the R'Heads embraced minimalism with gusto

[Ascend Charlie]

The modern version of JC on the cross, mounted on the church steeple, has slipped a bit...

[helmet fire]

..and then in an effort to avoid the bloody church, I pulled so many Gs that I greyed out.....
:}

[John R81]

Advice from corporate marketing:

"Now to sell, you should market it as a 2-seater"

[Tarman]

. . . . it can carry 4 plus luggage or 1 very large grey person . . . .

[dragman]

Absolutely gutted, the paratrooper fell to earth after somebody had replaced his chute with a couple of lengths of plywood

[Nail The Dream]

Results of the "Best Value" review :rolleyes:

[Coconutty]

Not many entries - anyone else ??

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[500e]

Well some one has to chase the pigs.

[birrddog]

Coconutty - you need to select a winner...

[blakmax]

The project was scrapped when the pilot discovered where they proposed to fit the tail rotor.

[Pedro Juarez]

"Why did I put C30s in this thing, I'm all black now!"

[Coconutty]

OK - The one that made me chuckle the most was ......

The project was scrapped when the pilot discovered where they proposed to fit the tail rotor. :D

So blakmax wins this one - over to you mate :ok:

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d129/coconut11/Coconutty.jpg

[blakmax]

G'day Coconutty. Thanks for nominating me as the winner. Just a bit bemused by the "over to you" comment. Am I supposed to provide the next picture for captions? If so, having been involved in crash investigation, most of my photos are of the sad end of helicopter flight. If required, I'll plagurise a photo from elsewhere.

Regards

blakmax

PS Even I'd be worried about how they would fit that tail rotor! I could possibly manage the mount and the gearbox, but the drive shaft?? No way!

[Coconutty]

Matter for you mate - post away if you have something suitable,
if not I'm sure someone else will !

[SASless]

Let's try this one.....


http://nwahomepage.com/media/JPG/Helicopter_Crash__2_60420092009-06-05-1244237555.JPG

[moosp]

For Sale. Late model B206, low hours, private use only. Lite rain damage to interior. A steal at 750,000.

[SASless]

"That's what happens when you let the Navy Seals mark the LZ Colonel! I told you to use Army Pathfinders!"

[Droopy]

Chap on the right with sunglasses "It's your fault! Why did you have to build that stupid little sandcastle when you were supposed to be marshalling!"

[birrddog]

Bell's attempts at an amphibious helicopter had some design flaws that needed to be worked out.

[SASless]

"What did I tell the boss?" "No problem....told him we would be late because the engine would not start and we were arguing about whether it was wet wiring or water in the fuel that was causing the problem!"

[Hughesy]

"Yes I said I love the smell of napalm in the the morning and yes I said to go surfing on that break but I did NOT mean in the helicopter!"

[chester2005]

when i said wash the turbine .that's not what i had in mind!!!!!!!

[ShyTorque]

It's true, Boss - it was just a puddle.....and then Bloggs here did a water drain check on the tanks!