View Full Version : Last night's 'Fast Show' BBC 2
swashplate
28th Dec 2000, 14:27
Anyonw watch this? Hillarious as usual, esp sketch where bloke has FS 2000. Tell's girl 'we're going to Mauritous'. But meant 'on simulator'!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently some wierdos actually do this!!!!!!!
Guy Devane
28th Dec 2000, 16:32
Weirdo?? I resemble that remark. FS2000 is for real! On a flight to Mauritius I get fatigue and no crew meal, tea or coffee, and if there is a power failure in the area - I die.
Flap 5
30th Dec 2000, 01:23
Oooh! Suits you sir!
niteflite01
30th Dec 2000, 02:03
You aint seen this posting - right?
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"Go around..I say again...go around"
Mr Magoo
31st Dec 2000, 00:30
This week I shall be mostly playing with FS2000.
Delta Wun-Wun
31st Dec 2000, 05:35
Someones sitting there mate!!!!
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GET THE BLOODY NOSE DOWN!
helimutt
31st Dec 2000, 14:58
"Does my bum look big in this R22?"
And the Chief Pilot turned to me and said "you've got the job".........which was nice.
Smoketoomuch
31st Dec 2000, 20:17
Blaaaaack!! Like the endless space that leads to the chasm of clams!
I'll get me coat.
[This message has been edited by Smoketoomuch (edited 31 December 2000).]
Biggles Flies Undone
2nd Jan 2001, 14:27
Kamikazi pilot? Yeah I was one of them, 40 years man and boy... 'ardest job in the world.....
arrow2
2nd Jan 2001, 14:38
EGLL 020920 020920Z 18005KT CAVOK SCORCHIO
John Actor is Pilot Monkfish
<Monkfish to hostie>
Put yer knickers on and bring us a cup of tea
Flying a plane is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You enter the cockpit, advance forward and stick your gear up.
bodger
2nd Jan 2001, 18:58
I was very,very drunk at the time!
[This message has been edited by bodger (edited 02 January 2001).]
Next Generation PSR
2nd Jan 2001, 20:12
"Dont you think a middle aged woman of your age, wearing just a little too much fake tan and more than ample hips with a possible cellulite problem, pushing a trolley is not - how can one put it - pleasing from a passengers point of view - no offence!"
Next Generation PSR
2nd Jan 2001, 20:20
Buono estente, este su Capitano Chrees Waddle, oohhh, no - apologias probematico technicas mit turbofania con minki sminki bang bang!
and down the back in the cabin.
"..and ladies and gentleman for your dinner tonight after completion of the bar service will be Cheesy Peas..BRILIAAANT!
Ok I'll get me coat too!
Capt Byrd de Styrke
2nd Jan 2001, 21:10
Heard in the toilets at FL350
" Oh! Sorry, I've just come. "
Reported to LHR tower on particularly windy approaches
" Let's off-road! "
airmail
2nd Jan 2001, 21:27
Nice
Rowley Birkin, QC
3rd Jan 2001, 14:41
(Bodger, you took the words right out of my mouth. Oooh! Sir! Out of my mouth, sir!)
Hello passengers, Captain Arthur Atkinson here. Where's me thrust gone, here it is, hehehehehe. I don't know what you're laughing at Mrs., I've seen you serving airline dinners at home, eh! He hehehehe.
Smoketoomuch:
Have you come here to arrange your holiday or would you like a…
You’d better cut down a little then…
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Since everybody’s gettin’ their coats so will I
Teenyweeny ATC Cdt Cpl
4th Jan 2001, 13:10
Me, the thirteenth Duke of Wimbledon, locked in the flight deck of a 747, with all these lovely female flight attendants...?
What were they thinking? :)
Probably something concerning advanced quantum physics...
Smoketoomuch
4th Jan 2001, 16:39
Knold:
Of course it loads you up there at 3 a.m. in the morning. And then you sit on the
tarmac for four hours because of unforeseen difficulties, i.e. the permanent strike of airtraffic control over Paris. When you finally get to Malaga airport, everybody's queueing for the bloody toilet, and queueing for the bloody half-customs officers. When you finally get to the half-built Algerian ruin called the Hotel Limassol.....
Oops sorry, wrong show :)
http://www.montypython.net/scripts/travagent-long.php3
...there's no water in the tap, there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet...
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I love the Costa Brava
swashplate
4th Jan 2001, 23:17
Have we come to try on the new Headset, Sir?
OOOOHH, SIR, OOOHHHH!!!!
Do the Ladies like that Sir?
OOOOHH, SIR, OOOHHHH!!!!
Suits you, Sir!!!!!!!!!
The Nr Fairy
5th Jan 2001, 12:59
No reports yet of unrequited love on the flight deck, I see ?
<Captain Ralph> Hello Ted, umm, err, how's life in the cabin?
<Flight Attendant Ted> Fine Sir, I've just been sorting out the drainage in the toilets
<CR> Yes, good work Ted. Umm, Ted, I was wondering, do you like radiotelephony?
<FAR> I wouldn't know about that Sir.
<CR> No, of course not, how silly of me. Well, I must be getting on, we'll be landing at Rome soon. Yes, I'll see you later then, Ted, yes, goodbye then.
I’ve heard quite a lot of metaphors for this but I think that radiotelephony is one of the rarest.
Boss Raptor
10th Jan 2001, 21:59
When I was a flying instructor, long time ago, used to get really 'annoyed' when would be trial lessons upon being asked if they had ever flown an aircraft before would say;
'No but I have flown FlightSim on my computer sure it is similar' !!!!!
Which was nice...
26point2
14th Jan 2001, 03:04
smoketoomuch,
And there's only a bleedin lizard in the Beeday!!! :)
invalid entry
18th Jan 2001, 05:00
You can't even get Watney's Red Barrel!
What_does_this_button_do?
18th Jan 2001, 18:30
Spot the Jasper Carrott fan!
Luftwaffle
21st Jan 2001, 02:23
I just got MSFS 2000 to work on my computer this morning. The scenery is realistic enough to make me homesick, and I had this guilty feeling flying around downtown without an ATC clearance. Load real world weather and the clouds look just like the ones outside my window.
But I wouldn't invite anyone along for the ride. I doubt they'd survive the landing. :-o