View Full Version : CVR Transcript from Captain Sullenberger.

6th Feb 2009, 12:30
I confess! This is a cut and paste. Nothing to do with me.

Co-pilot: "Number two's gone, boss."
Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot? Just shut the f*cker down, boy.
Oh, and tell Departure that we need to come back in and land. F*cking birds..."
Co-pilot: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this morning.
You don't have to insult me just because I got my commercial helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson.
Oh, and by the way, sir, we're not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to take on that extra
5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."
Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union keeps you in RJ's for the rest of
your miserable short career."
Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"
Co-pilot: "Number one's failing, boss."
Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the gauges?
Am I not flying the plane here?"
Co-pilot: "I'm just sayin'..."
Sully: "&%$%[email protected]! Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here every winter.
Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch him right in the throat.
I *HATE* Canadians."
Co-pilot: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or straight-in to 22 at Newark?"
Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark.
I've flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind.
And their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking river than land at Teterboro. Hey...."
Co-pilot: "You're not..."
Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some prick Canadian snowbirds."
Co-pilot: "You ever land on the water before?"
Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I think it was in a...Piper...
something or another, I forget. Never mind.
It'll all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing checklist and run it."
Co-pilot: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find one for that."
Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and tell the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no wait, that won't sound good on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace for collision'.. .no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's better.
No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane they can see the Intrepid Museum, and that if they'd like to visit it, they'll be able to in about five minutes.
Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink."
Co-pilot: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the Hero Pilot of the Year."
Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me.
I hope Fox News calls me a hero!"
Co-pilot: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my* name.
It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the big f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one
in the cockpit."
Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots
wait their whole career to be called a hero. I mean, shit, I've only got two years to go to retirement.
That was close!"
Co-pilot: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."
Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz
one of those damn sightseeing helicopters.
What's best-glide/engines out?"
Co-pilot: "Beats the **** outta me."
Sully: "Vref?"
Co-pilot: "F*ck if I know."
Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"
Co-pilot: "December 2, 1981."
Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."

7th Feb 2009, 18:18
Well, an entertaining cut and paste then. :p