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mixture
27th Jan 2009, 08:23
Apologies if this has been already posted, I had a quick look through the subject lines here and couldn't see much...

Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter? - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html)

Loose rivets
27th Jan 2009, 08:36
Lucky, lucky bastard. I dream of being served white stuff with peas in it.:(

mustpost
27th Jan 2009, 08:43
:ok:I was just about to post as well - the pics are awesome...

future.boeing.cpt
27th Jan 2009, 10:13
That is f***ing hilarious

lexxity
27th Jan 2009, 12:34
That's brilliant. :ok:

BombayDuck
27th Jan 2009, 14:29
I don't see the problem - in pic 1, the dish on the left is Dhokla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhokla). Standard Gujrati (western Indian) fare. The one on the right is the dessert, Phirni (http://www.awesomecuisine.com/recipes/1382/1/Phirni/Page1.html). This is a muslim speciality, they make awesome phirni.

Pic 2 is out of focus. But I doubt it is dessert. If it is dessert, the green stuff is most likely pistachios not peas. Most likely almond-pistachio "halwa".

Pic 3: Fish with mustard curry. Bengali dish. Not my favourite food but I don't mind it.

I have no idea what is in pic 7.

Some complaints are genuine - their packaging leaves more than a lot to be desired, for one. Also, their combination was off - Bengali main course and gujarati dessert? Not the best of ideas. But maybe he just asked for the wrong cuisine? All of the above are Indian dishes and well loved by those from back home. Next time you want to stick to English food (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huSP7PtctC4), Mr. Complainer, ask for it.

Or fly Jet Airways. Their filled omelette, like every one I've had here, lacked salt and spice. :yuk:

Buster Hyman
27th Jan 2009, 14:30
I like how Branson called him to let him know that that slop was award winning!:rolleyes:

indiscipline_girl
27th Jan 2009, 15:04
all dishes look good to me

YUM YUM

But certainly a wonderful e-mail to his highness.

Al Fakhem
27th Jan 2009, 15:09
My perennial question is: how can a non-Indian airline possibly decide to serve Indian food in the first place? If we want curry, dhosa or samosa, we would book a flight on AI or 9W, wouldn't we? I fly LH to and from India regularly and am sick of being told they have run out of the Western option....but the Indian vegetarian dish is delicious, why don't you try it?

Well, I now have a seafood special meal ordered on every flight....altough I still can't get it into my head that a Western meal should be a special request on a German airline.

Storminnorm
27th Jan 2009, 15:10
White stuff with peas in it?
Aren't we getting confused with the prostate thread???

Rollingthunder
27th Jan 2009, 15:11
Rule of Thumb

Never order or eat seafood on an aircraft unless you're in business class or better.

Storminnorm
27th Jan 2009, 15:14
Nile perch on Egyptair was quite nice RT.

Rollingthunder
27th Jan 2009, 15:20
I'm really into protectionism in-flight these days. Sick of mad dashes to lavs to be sick.

I've been in too many flight kitchens.

frostbite
27th Jan 2009, 15:26
You wouldn't get problems like that on Pikey Air.

Parapunter
27th Jan 2009, 15:30
I ran the distribution for one at Gatwick years ago. It was a rodent infested, investment starved shambles of a hell hole.

Never again will anything from an airline caterer pass these lips. I have too much self respect to eat that rubbish.:yuk:

Captain Stable
27th Jan 2009, 21:26
Nile perch on Egyptair was quite nice RT.If that bears any similarity to "Mersey Cod" then I don't want any, thanks ... :eek:

Blacksheep
28th Jan 2009, 08:54
I always order Kosher when booking. Same on Eurostar. Never had a bad meal yet.

Earl
28th Jan 2009, 17:09
That letter was excellent, had me laughing all the way through.
No wonder he got a call from the owner.
Got his point across and in a good way.

cojones
28th Jan 2009, 19:33
Dear Richard, sorry SIR Richard,
The plonker wot wrote to you complaining about the nosh were way out of order. He’s the sort of wally who’d complain about the caviar being cold.
I’m writing to say how much I enjoyed me recent flight on Virgin.
Got the limo from the Surrey mansion. Good crack with the chauffeur. Great smutty jokes. He gave me the winner of the 3.30 at Kempton (it won at 16-1 that paid for the flight). He did imply that there might be some performance enhancing substance involved, but that he knew nothing about it – OK?
Got to Thiefrow. Checked in to the Upper Class Lounge and was pampered by your delectable virgins. Where do you get them Richard, sorry, Lord Branson? They are gorgeous – so young and innocent looking, pulchritudinous – pneumatic even. Beautifully spoken; soft, sexy voices.
“Oi, Trice, justnippinaytferafag, doll..awe-royt?”
“Yer, OK Shaz, tayk-yer-toim.”
Corr, sends a shiver down yer bits. Those lovely red dresses with the short skirts.
Do they wear stockings and suspendies, tights or hold-ups Rich, sorry, Your Eminence?
And do they get a red Mazda MX5 for their 21st Birthday if they’ve been ‘good’ girls?
A few glasses of Tesco fizz – yeah, I know it says Krug on the label, but who are yer kidding, most of this dross wouldn’t know a Bordeaux from a Claret – then time to board.
I do like your Upper Class, ‘cos I’m upper class…’aven’t always been, mind, but there’s still brass to be made in certain ‘industries’, eh, Rick, sorry, your Highness?
Bit more Cava, then a bloody good nosh. None of yer rubbish; typically British fare: Sheekh Kebab, Chilli Chicken Tikka Massala Vindaloo Phal and chips and a nice big bottle of Kingfisher. Phwoar.
Watched a pretty crap movie. I couldn’t find the porn channel, Rico, or do you pay extra for that – like on the telly?
And the best bit? That lovely massage; the shoulders, the head, the back and the hands. I asked ‘er if she did the ‘extras’, you know… I got a blank look.
“Executive”?
“Happy Ending”? I showed ‘er a fistful of £50s, but still no luck. You might want to work on that, Ric.
And bu**er me, Ric, yer could’ve knocked me dahn wiv a fevver. The bloke what were flyin’ the bloody thing were a bloody girly, too. But I guess she knows what she’s doing.
Good flight Ricardo, sorry, your Excellency. Don’t listen to any of those poofdahs that moan about you and your Virgins.
I’ll fly with you again.
If you want, I could join your team as a travel consultant, and be on hand to give you and your girls any advice needed.

419
28th Jan 2009, 19:44
As bad as the Virgin food looked to me (being non Indian), I still think it would be preferable to some of the meals I've been served by Air france.
Hot when it shold be cold, cold when it's meant to be hot, and whenever there is a beef dish, forget it unless you get a machete to cut it with.

I still ask for a meal when I fly with them as there's not much they can do to screw up a bread roll and a slice of camembert.

Captain Stable
28th Jan 2009, 20:04
“If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal.”

- Anon

TwinAisle
29th Jan 2009, 04:48
Thanks to Bombay Duck for the explanation of the food - I had the fish in mustard curry on a Kingfisher flight between Delhi and Mumbai a few years back, and it was absolutely delicious. In fact the whole meal was.

All that seemed adrift with the Virgin meal was the presentation to me - just because it is not what the (clearly not very open-minded or well-travelled passenger) expected (presumably, he was hoping for brown windsor soup, shepherd's pie and spotted dick?) - it is hardly a bad meal.

I have never flown with anyone long haul when there was not a choice of main course. Presumably he chose this main course?

I wonder if some people whinge for the sake of it. As for "the funniest letter of all time" - no. Not even close. Have a look at the "Taxman's reply" for a start.

TA

cojones
29th Jan 2009, 14:46
Dear Richard,... sorry, SIR Richard,
The plonker wot wrote to you complaining about the nosh were way out of order. He’s the sort of Walter Anker who’d complain about the caviar being cold.
I enjoyed me recent flight on Virgin.
Got the limo from the Surrey mansion. Good crack with the chauffeur. Great smutty jokes. He gave me the winner of the 3.30 at Kempton (it won at 16-1 that paid for the flight). He did imply that there might be some performance enhancing substance involved, but that he knew nothing about it – OK?
Got to Thiefrow. Checked in to the Upper Class Lounge and was pampered by your delectable virgins. Where do you get them Richard, sorry, Lord Branson? They are gorgeous – so young and innocent looking, pulchritudinous – pneumatic even. Beautifully spoken; soft, sexy voices.
“Oi, Trice, justnippinaytferafag, doll....awe-royt?”
“Yer, OK Shaz,... toyk-yer-toim.”
Corr, sends a shiver down yer bits. Those lovely red dresses with the short skirts.
Do they wear stockings and suspendies, tights or hold-ups, Rich, sorry, Your Eminence?
And do they get a red Mazda MX5 for their 21st Birthday if they’ve been ‘good’ girls?
A few glasses of Tesco fizz – yeah, I know it says Krug on the label, but who are yer kidding, most of this dross of passengers wouldn’t know a Bordeaux from a Claret – then it's time to board.
I do like your Upper Class, ‘cos I’m upper class meself…’aven’t always been, mind, but there’s still brass to be made in certain ‘industries’, eh, Rick, sorry, your Highness.
Bit more Cava, then a bloody good nosh. None of yer rubbish; typically British fare: Sheekh Kebab, Chilli Chicken Tikka Massala Vindaloo Phal and chips and a nice big bottle of Kingfisher. Phwoar.
Watched a pretty crap movie. I couldn’t find the porn channel, Rico, or do you pay extra for that – like on the telly?
And the best bit? That lovely massage; the shoulders, the head, the back and the hands. I asked ‘er if she did the ‘extras’, you know… I got a blank look.
“Executive”?
“Happy Ending”? I showed ‘er a fistful of £50s, but still no luck. You might want to work on that, Ric.
And bu**er me, Ric, yer could’ve knocked me dahn wiv a fevver. The bloke what were flyin’ the bloody thing were a bloody girl, too. But I guess she knows what she’s doing.
Good flight Ricardo, sorry, your Excellency. Don’t listen to any of those poofdahs that moan about you and your Virgins.
I’ll fly with you again.
If you want, I could join your team as a travel consultant, and be on hand to give you and your girls any advice needed.

GhostUK
30th Jan 2009, 15:48
Anyone seen this?

A virgin passengers complaint letter that has been circulating the net recently.

'Look at this Richard. Just look at it' :)

Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter? - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html)

DAL208
30th Jan 2009, 15:55
apparently...we landed on the moon as well! anyone hear that!?

GhostUK
30th Jan 2009, 16:58
It was a hoax
Apollo Moon Landing hoax conspiracy theories - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_moon_landing_hoax_accusations)

rotornut
30th Jan 2009, 17:44
Having flown Air India out of Bombay/Mumbai almost a dozen times I can say the meals were terrible. Maybe Sir Richard uses the same caterer:eek:

Lon More
30th Jan 2009, 18:08
Wake up at the back there Alredy been done. (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/359659-virgin-passenger-complaint-letter.html)


Shortet letter of complaint to (a) Virgin - thanks for nothing