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ADFS
26th Jan 2009, 09:30
I am rather meticulous during the walkaround. Over the years I have found a large tropical frog in the brake assembly of a 330, frozen and fried, perfect for my wifes exotic collectives. I have found hornets nest in the static port of a light twin and the latest was a wallet (empty ) in the nose wheel well of another 330 back from MRU....
Anything worth mentioning from the rest of you ???

3Greens
26th Jan 2009, 09:54
are you on drugs sir??:mad:

wobble2plank
26th Jan 2009, 10:07
Obviously a very, very quiet day where ADFS is! :}

waffler
26th Jan 2009, 10:43
I found a bag of used ladies underwear under the aircraft during a walkaround at Paris cdg.
Feel free to add any puns good or bad.

Seymour Skinner
26th Jan 2009, 10:46
This is the Terms and Endearment forum! What makes you think people trying to keep up to date with the pitiful state of the current jobs market care that you found a dead frog on your walk round? I'm sure there is a suitable forum elsewhere for posting such drivel...

mover shaker
26th Jan 2009, 12:45
In all fairness Seymour, the forum is for "Your news on pay, rostering allowances, extras and negotiations..." and I would say that ladies underwear and fried frogs definitely count as extras. Ha ha.
It doesn't matter, its a funny thread. Don't be such an old grouch!

indiscipline_girl
26th Jan 2009, 13:34
used ladies underwear


So the aircraft obviously just came in from Japan.

IFTB
26th Jan 2009, 14:17
Ms Reddo found a flaptrack cover I seem to remember?

:rolleyes:

spekesoftly
26th Jan 2009, 14:39
I found a bag of used ladies underwear

It troubles me that said undergarments were examined in such detail!:hmm:

Storminnorm
26th Jan 2009, 14:46
spekesoftly, no need to get sniffy you know!

Lon More
26th Jan 2009, 17:28
Glad I wasn't the person that found this lot

http://wa3.images.onesite.com/my.telegraph.co.uk/user/soutie/lions_under_wing.jpg

stevef
26th Jan 2009, 18:49
A golf ball between the aileron and wing inset of a Dakota...

Kelly Hopper
26th Jan 2009, 18:57
I once found 3 undercarridge pins in after the F/O told me external checks complete! :eek::eek::eek:

Grabbers
26th Jan 2009, 19:25
I once found a jelly fish on a runway inspection. Massive it was.

Howard Hughes
26th Jan 2009, 19:32
I once turned up to find a shirt hanging from the tailplane, with a rather bedragled pilot inside the aircraft, sleeping off the effects of the friday night drinks the day before!:eek:

Probably not that unusual for anyone that has worked in Darwin...;)

haughtney1
26th Jan 2009, 19:44
Strangest things found during pre-flight walkaround

A baggage trolley..embedded just forward of the aft cargo door :hmm:

henry crun
26th Jan 2009, 19:45
Only 1 jelly fish Grabbers ? that is a mere bagatelle, I once found a school of tuna on a runway inspection.

taxydual
26th Jan 2009, 21:05
On a Runway Inspection (I suppose it counts as a pre-flight) at RAF Leeming in 1980, I found an eighteen foot long by 6 foot deep representation of the male sexual organ in full arousal, painted on the main runway.

On the previous evening, the Mess had 'entertained' a dining-out for a CFS/RFS/NUAS/RNEFTS Course (I cannot remember which). Because of which, the then Staish (he of radio controlled aircraft vs kite and anal intercourse with said radio controlled aircraft fame), had ordered a full 'working evening' to support the dining-out thrash, which improved the morale of RAF 'Byker Grove', not!

Either way, the said Course got a rather large bill to pay for the removal of the said appendage from the runway surface.

It was years later, at a reunion, that three SAC's admitted responsibility. After a night of debauchery (?) at the Willow Tree, Lawsons Cafe and the Air Traffic night flying shed paint store, their opinion of the then Staish took 'artistic' license..

Jim, the head fireman (who had the task of water blasting the 'masterpiece' off the runway) had us in stitches at 'prayers' on the Monday, when he declared the perpetrators must have been Jewish, "Because the painting was circumcised".

Checkboard
26th Jan 2009, 23:07
When I was instructing, I had a student walk up to a plane under maintenance, with the oil cooler removed, pipes hanging out of the open engine cowl. Said student carefully stuffed the pipes into the engine bay, closed the cowl, then completed the walk around and sat in the plane waiting for me. :bored:

Found a couple of open, empty hydraulic cans with the refill tube sticking into them in the hydraulic bay of a 737 on my walkaround AFTER flying the thing for three and a half hours down to Turkey. Had to kick the FO for his rubbish observational skills as he had completed the morning walkaround before departure. (my last airline required the first walk around of the day to be done by the Captain - not a bad idea really.)

pigboat
26th Jan 2009, 23:07
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/Siddley-Hawker/180onfloats.jpg

parabellum
27th Jan 2009, 00:59
Daftest thing I ever found on a walk round was a Line Checker who asked me if I knew how many blades there were to the fan of a large jet engine, "No", I said, "But if one was missing I bet I would spot it".

vapilot2004
27th Jan 2009, 03:02
I would have to say it was an engineer handing a rubber chicken up to some unseen soul in our EE bay. Turns out they were 'troubleshooting'.

Finding two 'footballs' of cocaine duct-taped to a B200 landing gear strut in MIA was a bit of a surprise. The cabin-bound boss and I agonized over not reporting this......for scheduling reasons.

Finally, not my aircraft, but I recall marveling at a pitot tube holding the pointy end of a live hummingbird.

angels
27th Jan 2009, 08:46
Good thread, despite the misogs at the beginning.

taxydual - I went to a grammar school in the 70s in Croydon which at one stage was blighted by 'The Phantom Phallus Drawer'.

Beautifully drawn phalli would appear overnight on walls, desk etc. It drove the headmaster apopleptic with rage. The fourth to sixth forms were held back in detention where the identity of the Drawer was demanded, but not given.

Things got too hot for the Drawer, but he signed off in spectacular fashion with a marvellous six foot high, minutely detailed, technicolour effort on the side of the sixth form block that despite the efforts of Perc the caretaker was never really totally eradicated until term holidays when a tankerful of whitewash finally did the trick.

I knew who the perp was and he always vowed that he would continue his art in the real world. He was also mad on all things military. One of your perps wasn't called Paul was he? If so PM me and we'll match up surnames!

PS My dad was stung on the bum by a scorpion in Burma when he sat on an ammo crate (or somesuch) in a Dak during WW2. The scorpion did not survive the experience. :ok:

taxydual
27th Jan 2009, 09:39
Sorry Angels, no Pauls. A Mick, a Dave and a Phil were the budding 'Van Dykes'.

Maybe budding 'Van Dicks' would be better.




Ah, OK, I'll get my coat.

S'land
27th Jan 2009, 10:08
Is the pontoon on that way so that he can go round in ever decreasing circles and disappear?

27mm
27th Jan 2009, 13:53
Basic flying Training at Linton on the JP3. Doing my pre-flight walkround' smelt something strange in the area of the port wingroot trailing edge; opened the access door located there and found a Wall's Steak & Kidney pie behind it, which the liney had put near the jetpipe lagging to warm up.

Storminnorm
27th Jan 2009, 14:54
Had a friend that worked for Laker was cleaning out a toilet
dump valve seal on a quick T/R on a 1-11.
He'd locked the toilet door in the cabin, but one of the new
cabin crew was obviously desperate to pay a visit and got
in to the loo and started to offload.
The chap doing his duty caught a lovely golden stream in his
face and let forth a stream of invectives.
The CC member was traumatized by the stream of words that
poured out of the toilet bowl.
Needed help for years after, so I was told.

Dan Winterland
27th Jan 2009, 15:30
An aligator. To be fair, the aligator was in a ditch (bayou?) in Florida and the ditch was obviously it's home. The wingtip was just over the ditch and the aligator wasn't very happy about me intruding. The goundcrew knew the reptile was there and were standing by watching and waiting for my reaction. If I had actually lost my leg, I'm sure it would have been even funnier to them!

C*nts!





Less funny was finding blood all over a mainwheel, with a corresponding bloodstain in the wheel bay. The owner of the blood was obviously a stowaway and had probably dropped into the Atlantic when we lowered our gear on approach to our destination.

x213a
27th Jan 2009, 18:55
A flying fish in the cab:ok:

ShyTorque
27th Jan 2009, 19:11
Found the dual controls of the RAF Gazelle helicopter had not been re-fitted prior to an instructional sortie where I was to teach a basic student engine off landings.

Wasn't too happy about having to say "OK Bloggs, never mind, I've switched off the engine and now I'll just talk you through it "... :ooh:

Grabbers
27th Jan 2009, 19:52
Henry Crun

I also found/watched a herd of goats at one African 'airfield' cross with a big aeroplane on v short finals. The subsequent 'go around' caused a stir amongst the locals. Took them days to round up the scattered herd.:ok:

Checkboard
27th Jan 2009, 19:58
The chap doing his duty caught a lovely golden stream in his
face and let forth a stream of invectives.

Heard a story about a couple of military guys ordered to dig a ladies' latrine for a visiting female VIP. Quite a bit of work, which annoyed them, so they placed a speaker into the finished hole, with a microphone outside.

Cue lady slipping into the tent for a whiz, wait a suitable time, then speak into microphone:

"Fair Go Love - We're still diggin' down here!" :}

Second story - guy would video tape 2 mins of his (empty) toilet from the upper corner of the room. During party would wait for suspect to use the facility, and while they were out would press play on the tape, with the image on the TV and brief the crowd to start whistling and cheering when the victim emerged. ;)

Gypsy_Air
28th Jan 2009, 01:06
Once found a large spider nesting in the Rotor hub of an R22. It wasn't interfering so I left it there. After landing and shutting down I looked again and it was still there - albeit spinning round on a thread looking somewhat dizzy! :E

ehwatezedoing
28th Jan 2009, 04:51
PS My dad was stung on the bum by a scorpion in Burma when he sat on an ammo crate (or somesuch) in a Dak during WW2. The scorpion did not survive the experience.
One almost got me while I was removing a wheel's chock in Ghana.
Big, dark and scary! (the scorpion, not a bum)

Then one fuel guy told me..."It's ok, only small ones are nasty" :ok:

Blacksheep
28th Jan 2009, 07:40
Not on a pre-flight, but I once found a Kilobar of gold, wrapped in newspaper, behind the F/O's seat. Upon investigation it turned out that our agent in Hong Kong had asked him to carry it as "Safe Hand of Crew" and he'd bunged it behind his seat and forgotten about it. :rolleyes:

pigboat
28th Jan 2009, 14:28
Kind of hard to miss.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/Siddley-Hawker/Crerar20092.jpg

Blacksheep
29th Jan 2009, 07:52
Ah yes, spotted it!

The starboard buggy is missing which will increase the swing during the take-off run, followed by left yaw compounded by a massive aileron trim problem shortly after lift off. :ok:

Howard Hughes
29th Jan 2009, 07:56
Wrong, his lunchbox was strapped to the quad bike!;)

Karl Bamforth
29th Jan 2009, 09:52
Arrived at aircraft to find pilot strapped in. I say, " You not wearing a parachute today then boss?" reply "Hhhhmmmm I thought the instrument panel was further away than usual.

Walk out to helicopter, but unable to find crew, after a brief search I find them strapped into another heli, they are very irrate and grumpy that the techy was late. Grumpiness turns to embaressment when I point out to them they are in the wrong aircraft. This only gets worse when I further point out that the aircraft they have just preflighted is on maintenance and has no tail rotor blades fitted.

Cup on tailplane placed there by captain when doing his walkround.

Ground locks fitted.

Flight control locks fitted.

Pitot static covers still fitted, numerous times.

The Recorder
29th Jan 2009, 14:04
During Night Flying at Burnaston I and another trainee hit something during take-off.

Our landing was delayed while the ground crew recovered two severed feet from the flarepath. I think Roy Eason (it was his legs) recovered in hospital but I never heard what happened to him afterwards. He was returning the short way after his birthday party at the Spreadeagle (I think that was the name of the pub) on the airfield boundary.

Storminnorm
29th Jan 2009, 14:54
How did they know who's feet they were?
Did he have his name sown in his socks? :confused:

Gainesy
29th Jan 2009, 14:58
Just asked the landlord who got legless?

cockney steve
1st Feb 2009, 20:24
Well, he could hardly leg it from the scene, could he! :}

Fantome
1st Feb 2009, 20:39
Not on a walkround, but landing one day travelling SLF with the missus, me watching the wing openings do their bit and show the plumbing. As we are shuddering to the turn off, herself suddenly and excitedly leans over me pointing at the mass of pipes and knurled flange brackets, "A rat!!!" Got me again, the smart arse.