View Full Version : Aussie of the Year

25th Jan 2009, 14:14
They said "Donaldson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Donaldson)" but someone mis-heard it and gave it to an honourary "professor" instead.


Howard Hughes
25th Jan 2009, 22:01
Get's my vote!:ok:


25th Jan 2009, 22:13
Rudd has voted Howie
Yer get the Blues brothers. :uhoh:

Howard Hughes
25th Jan 2009, 22:20
As usual he didn't consult me...:E

Captain Sand Dune
25th Jan 2009, 23:10
As usual he didn't consult me...
Well of course not!! You're not Kate Blanchett (or however one spells it!)!:hmm:

25th Jan 2009, 23:33
We're off and running..:rolleyes:

He says he almost did not accept the award because many Indigenous people regard today as "Invasion Day" for commemorating the arrival of the First Fleet.

"I angsted about, I thought about it very, very deeply," he said.

Dodson wants debate on Australia Day date change - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/01/26/2474135.htm)

Well, he might...
Poll Results | The Daily Telegraph (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/poll/display/1,22053,5037917-5001032-1,00.html)

26th Jan 2009, 00:58
Reconciliation is like asking how long a piece of string is....I think that this issue will never go away and anyone who looks at the arrival of the first fleet as invasion day will not change their outlook no matter which day is nominated....

Will we also one day be asked not to remember and celebrate the victory and the end of WW1 and WW2 so as not to offend the sensibilities of those who lost those conflicts.

However,in the interests of a democratic debate....If you want a day that symbolises Australia then how about a day which remembers or represents the Eureka Stockade......or do we just pick a day that has no significance other than it's randomness?

26th Jan 2009, 00:59
Japan and Germany were invaded. They got over it eventually.

26th Jan 2009, 01:24
At least it wasn't a posthumous award to Heath Ledger.

The award smacked of tokenism though.

Buster Hyman
26th Jan 2009, 01:25
Awww, stop it Howard, I'm blushing!:O But if you insist, just award it to me on April the first.

26th Jan 2009, 01:39

I thought you were nominated for Australian Cross Dresser of the year...and that the award ceremony was to be held during the gay Mardi Gra not April 1st....and yes you were wearing too much blush...:E

Buster Hyman
26th Jan 2009, 01:52
No lobee, Howards the cross dresser, I'm just his designer.

Howard Hughes
26th Jan 2009, 02:17
YoDawg, I wish I had clicked on your link earlier, surely Trooper Donaldson would be a far more worthy recipient...:ok:

26th Jan 2009, 03:54
many Indigenous people regard today as "Invasion Day" for commemorating the arrival of the First Fleet

He's got a point! Maybe we should move it around a bit to ensure Australia Day is always held on a Thursday. That way the 'Indigenous People' will be able to celebrate too. Combining their standard, using their Social, piss-up day and Australia Day will mean we can all come together in beautiful harmony. Imagine, we could celebrate the arrival of the First Fleet and Pissed-Up, Dreaming Of Giant Lizard Day all on one convenient Thursday.

26th Jan 2009, 04:38

That's one of the reasons I don't get homesick.

Dreaming Of Giant Lizard Day
I now have beer over my keyboard. Thanks!

Ponting is looking ominous, the Saffas will have their work cut out for them. I also note that Ponting didn't walk. As he is not a gentleman, he's excused.


26th Jan 2009, 05:29
Yes, one can see by the catchy Bumble Bee outfit, the design fashion that Buster holds. :p

HH, please say it isn't so! :eek: Yellow may not be your color! :p ;)

26th Jan 2009, 09:26
Looking at the weather forecast for your part of the world, i hope you aren't too busy this week Buster..

Buster Hyman
26th Jan 2009, 10:02
We're on high alert now 1DC, as you have correctly pointed out.

As much as we are an "urban" brigade, our area's most vital piece of Infrastructure is the Radar tower for Tullamarine and they tend to keep us back a little with that in mind. (It's in the middle of a state park)


CoF. We're getting new kit soon. Lime green...:yuk:...and I thought yellow wasn't my colour!:rolleyes:

26th Jan 2009, 12:13
Will this do?



We apologise for giving you Doctors and free medical care, which allows you to survive and multiply so that you can demand apologies.
We apologise for helping you to read and teaching you the English language and thus opening up to you the entire European civilisation, thought and enterprise.
We feel that we must apologise for building hundreds of homes for you, which you have vandalised and destroyed.
We apologise for giving you law and order which has helped prevent you from slaughtering one and other and using the unfortunate for food purposes.
We apologise for developing large farms and properties, which today feed you people, where before, you had the benefits of living off the land and starving during droughts.
We apologise for providing you with warm clothing made of fabric to replace the animal skins you used before.
We apologise for building roads and railway tracks between cities and building cars so that you no longer have to walk over harsh terrain.
We apologise for paying off your vehicle when you fail to pay the instalments.
We apologise for giving you free travel wherever, whenever.
We apologise for giving each and every member of your family $100.00 and free travel to attend an Aboriginal funeral.
We apologise for not charging you rent on any lands the white people have to pay.We apologise for giving you interest free loans.
We apologise for developing oil wells and minerals, including gold and diamonds which you never used and had no idea of their value.
We apologise for developing Ayers Rock and Kakadu, and handing them over to you so that you get all the money.
We apologise for allowing taxpayers money payed towards daughters’ wedding ($8000 ea daughter).
We apologise for giving you $1.7 billion per year for 250000 people, which is $48000 per aboriginal man, woman and child.
We apologise for working hard to pay taxes that finance your welfare, medical care, education, etc to the tune of $1.2 billion each year.
We apologise for you having to approach the aboriginal affairs department to verify the above figures. For the trouble you will have identifying the “uncle toms” in your own community who are getting richer and leaving some of you living in squalor and poverty.
We do apologise.
We really do.
We humbly beg your forgiveness for all the above sins.
We are only too happy to take all the above and return you to the paradise of the “outback”, whenever you are ready.

26th Jan 2009, 20:34
parabellum.....How very true but it doesn't stop there.In an age where appeasement (at least from us) has become a religion try this for a few laughs.....

1. Go to Pakistan, Afghanistan,or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
2. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
3. Demand that all nurses and doctors be fluent in English, and that all food be cooked according to your special specifications in the hospital
4. Demand free local government forms, bulletins, etc. Be printed in English.
5. Procreate abundantly.
6. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive Behaviour with, 'It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand.'
7. Keep your original identity strong. Fly your previous country's national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window, or on your car bumper.
8. Speak only English at home and in public, and make sure that your children do likewise.
9. Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.
10. Demand a local country driver license or national insurance number equivalent
11. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq
12. Drive around with no MOT, tax or insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
13. Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers.
14. Organise protest marches against your host country, inciting violence against non-white, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.

Good luck! You'll soon be dead. It would never happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq (or any other country in the world for that matter) except in the UK, US, Canada or Australia, because we are run by soft, politically correct politicians that are too scared to 'offend' anyone.

26th Jan 2009, 21:30
Well give your new PM a couple of years and a variation of the following will apply in Oz........

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside
> the Heathrow immigration offices.
> 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes,
> since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'
> The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth,
> so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the
> man's almost toothless grin and -- PING! -- He had a brand new shining set
> of gold teeth in his mouth!
> 'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go'
> The refugee claimant now got bolder .
> 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Oxford with eight bedrooms
> for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my
> country. I want to bring them all over here.
> 'PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a
> three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, overlooking
> the river.
> 'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish.
> I want to be like the British with British clothes instead of manjams, and a
> baseball cap instead of this turban.
> And I want to have white skin like the British
> 'PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, an Eagles T-shirt
> and a Billabong baseball cap.
> He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon..
> 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.
> 'Where is my new house?'
> The fairy said 'Tough luck, Rag-head,
> Now that you are English, you're entitled to f---- all!.'
> And she disappeared!

26th Jan 2009, 21:32
now that's funny..... :ok:

27th Jan 2009, 04:22
1DC, there's an Ozmate variation of your joke. (It was told to me, I swear this is true, by a fellow with very dark skin at a picnic as we sat drinking cold beers in the dry Todd River creek bed just outside Alice Springs, which I thought then and now made it considerably funnier that if it had been told by some whitey like me.)

The story goes like this:

An Australian gentleman of very dark skin pigmentation found a genie in an old bottle and the grateful genie offered him three wishes for rescuing him.

"I want to be white, boss," was the first wish, and 'Poof!', he was white.

"Your second wish?" says the genie.

"I want a big house, a flash car and ten beautiful women draped all over me." and 'poof!', it was so.

"Ok, what's your third wish?" says the genie.

Now the rescuer is no dummy, and knows he has to be very careful with this third wish, so he considers what he's going to say very carefully before he says it. "I want an inexhaustible supply of money and never have to work for it," he says, and 'Poof!', he was black again.