View Full Version : I thought this was funny

24th Jan 2009, 09:20
Whilst reading some stuff on Reddit, I came across an article which relates to the recent ditching in the U.S.
I believe its all about, what passengers can do to prevent disaster.

Prevention is also important for passenger who is sufficiently alert to see that the wing-flaps, ailerons are not lowered for liftoff. The passenger can signal flight attendant to telephone pilot to stop or lower flaps. I think that several fatalities have been caused by failure to adjust flaps.

I would love to be a fly on the flight deck wall when the skipper gets that call.

Even though the topic is serious I am sure this has to be a joke!:}:}

24th Jan 2009, 09:32
I'd rather be the guy who gets to phone the Captain when it's time to raise the wheels: you'd get to do that every flight. Much better than staring out the window: "Bugger, the flaps are OK again."

24th Jan 2009, 09:49
Although I do remember sitting on my motor-cycle at RNAS *********** , waiting to cross the end of the runway, watching an aircraft take-off, and seeing it roll down the runway with airbrakes out. Nothing I could do but it rolled and rolled and rolled and took a loooooooooooooooooooong time to stagger into the air. And once at RNAS **** I was No 2 to the squadron CO on my initial flight with the unit. He went all the way downwind and into finals before it seemed to me that even though I was the most junior neophyte on the squadron there was on balance no way to avoid telling him his wheels were up,

Buster Hyman
24th Jan 2009, 10:11
I've actually been in that position TLT. As SLF on a UA DC10 ex SEA. I didn't think they were set appropriately, if at all, but kept my mouth shut. We took off without any problems of course.:rolleyes:

Flap 5
24th Jan 2009, 12:22
I believe some aircraft takeoff with slats extended only (A310?).

24th Jan 2009, 12:29
Yes, the A-310 can do that


24th Jan 2009, 12:36
Had a pax ex MIA once that told us the flaps weren't out for
T/O on a 767. Slats, but no flaps.
The reply went back, "Yes, we know, Thank you very much." :ok:

Very polite, we were, after all, British.

24th Jan 2009, 14:03
I've reconsidered. I don't want to be the "wheels up" person, I want to be sat in row 46 or so, all of us with hand cranks. Our seat back cards mention an 'ole for use in an unspecified emergency, and when we get the call, we stuff the crank in the 'ole and twiddle like crazy. "Row 46, crank now, now, now".

Or wandering the aisles with the fart detector. That would work, too. CCFSO: Cabin Crew Fart Support Operative, for another 25 air miles per flight.

Loose rivets
24th Jan 2009, 16:23
When Branson first started, One could earn brownie points by entertaining. (what joy, being a passenger on that flight)

Anyway, I thought I might get my piano shipped free to the US if I offered inflight entertainment. Would've worked, but we couldn't get it up the spiral staircase.:}

24th Jan 2009, 17:02
That's nothing. On hot and high takeoffs, the passengers can help matters by lifting their feet on rotation. Takes a lot of weight off the floor. Works a treat.

25th Jan 2009, 12:10
In the small(ish) aircraft I fly, always usefull when approaching DA on a dark and horrible night one of the pax bangs you on the shoulder to point out the 'lights' (of the football pitch on the extended centre-line!)

blue up
25th Jan 2009, 14:16
.....and on that crappy, dark and stormy night in the Navajo going into Frankfurt, just as we rocked, violently, past the marker with about 45 degrees of drift, airspeed going up and down like a whores' keks, eyes rattling round like marbles in a shoebox....some smartarse leaned forwards and said "Use the Force, Luke"

Not great timing.

25th Jan 2009, 15:25
So you are saying that, if you taxied onto a runway, knowing that the flaps should be set, and seeing that they weren't - you would say nothing :confused:

It HAS happened, and it will again.

25th Jan 2009, 15:32
So you are saying that, if you taxied onto a runway, knowing that the flaps should be set, and seeing that they weren't - you would say nothing?Wasn't it Bob Newhart who said "You'd rather die than look foolish"?

BAMRA wake up
25th Jan 2009, 21:41
Friend of mine started out flying the Islander inter island in Orkney. On his third day, flying as single pilot, aged granny sitting behind him taps his shoulder, 'your going to the wrong island, it's over there you should be going'. She was right too.

26th Jan 2009, 08:38
Sat at the nav desk of my Britannia one day - New York to somewhere in the Caribbean - not really paying attention 'cos it wasn't a mandatory "Nav " sector, 'cos the pilots were beacon / island crawling; steward came up and said that a pax. wanted to know the name of the island we had just passed. Half-heartedly gave him a likely sounding name. Few minutes later he appeared again, this time with a pax. in tow. 'scuse me, this pax. doesn't think that island was what you said.

Oh ! for crissakes, we left New York at xxxx time - right ? We're flying at xxx miles an hour - right ? That means we have covered xxx miles - right ? so if I get my dividers and step off xxx miles from New York, we must be over ???? Oh dear.

Turns out the pax. lived on said Island and recognised his own property, but he still asked. Was delighted to have proved the navigator wrong, of course !

Captain Stable
26th Jan 2009, 11:10
I spent quite a while in the Caribbean, and every time anyone asked us the name of an island - I mean a REAL island, no probs telling them. However, when they asked the name of one of the hundreds of little rocks, each populated probably by only a few gannets, four goats and a family of seagulls, the answer was always "Pigeon Island".

26th Jan 2009, 14:41
Flying south from Ascention the ONLY land that can be seen is
a very small island sticking up out of the South Atlantic.
I believe it's called Trinidadia. Belongs to Brazil.
Some years ago, so the story goes, they sent a party of
people there to survey the little rock.
Contact was lost with them, and eventually another lot were
sent to see what had happened to the first lot.
They found that the CRABS that lived there had eaten the
first party that they sent.
I suppose the crabs were looking forward to dessert.
The second party didn't stay long enough. Party Poopers!

26th Jan 2009, 15:20
flying as single pilot, aged granny sitting behind him taps his shouldera

The snag is, one never knows with old guys and grannies. At the National Air Museum here they have either an Me 163 or a He 162. I'll have to go back and check. On Canada Day each year the Museum is manned by volunteers, many of them Old and Bold who have or had till recently the hours in Lancasters, and Spitfires, and Mosquitoes.

A few years back, granny of German origin is goofing around with troop of grandchildren. Shows interest in the 163 or 162, whatever. Patronising chap on the stand tells her all about it. She is grateful.

She seems to know a fair bit about the subject, for a granny.

Was her husband in the Luftwaffe, perhaps? A pilot, maybe? No. A mechanic, then? No. Patronisng chap enlarges on piston, jets, rockets. Very impressive knowledge. Granny keeps offspring in order. Woman's work, after all. Turns out, she was a test-pilot on said rocket-ships.


26th Jan 2009, 15:50
I thought the pay-off was going to be that the granny was Hannah Reitsch - though she never married, I suppose that doesn't rule out grandchildren.

BAMRA wake up
26th Jan 2009, 17:32
Flying south from Ascention the ONLY land that can be seen is
a very small island sticking up out of the South Atlantic.
I believe it's called Trinidadia. Belongs to Brazil.

Storminnorm, it's also known as Isla Trinidade, it shows up well on Google Earth. Some views of the island on this cracking site:

DCP: 20 degrees south, 29 degrees west (http://confluence.org/confluence.php?lat=-20&lon=-29)


26th Jan 2009, 18:03
Pah! this is an island:- http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/769062.jpg

henry crun
26th Jan 2009, 19:58
Pah, that's not an island, THIS is an island.


Loose rivets
26th Jan 2009, 20:58

Eaten by crabs! Just one notch better than being eaten by spiders.:ooh:

26th Jan 2009, 21:21
HC, that looks like two islands to me - Tasmania, and the North Island.

henry crun
26th Jan 2009, 21:43
Is this any better ?


26th Jan 2009, 23:30
euuumm.... off-topic I know. Slow afternoon :suspect:

YouTube - Best Condom Advert EVER (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XQg7WJmZjg&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home)

I wish
27th Jan 2009, 08:47

West Island actually.

27th Jan 2009, 10:08
Flew once, as a callow youth but already a PP, on an airline flight across a long stretch of air.

From my window seat one noticed a halo of mist creeping long the wing, not so far from the inboard main filler hole for the port wing tank. 707, it was.

Watched the mist for some long while. Noticed how it seemed to come from several places.. rivet holes on the upper surface of the wing. Probably a failure of a rib joint and then the seals on quite an area of the upper metal on the tank... spitting out maybe a gallon or so per second from the wing top.

Thought about the fire hazard -- not so big, since the hot bits were yards below. Thought about the prospect of fuel shortage, but figured crew would have lots of guidance up front, so not my business to interfere. Thought about the diversion airports and the scenario of an overnight stop along the way... how that would interfere with a projected liason with a sweetie. How it would inconvenience a lot of other folks, too.

Counted the mountain ranges, until only one remained toward destination and several stood between us and the nearest best alternate. Then said to m'self,
"Should really tell someone about this". Looked out at the wing one more time and, surprise, no more kerosene misting as it had for the preceeding 2000 miles. Case closed. I left a note with staff in the terminal, just to put it all on record.

That was a long time ago.