A letter to Richard Branson

[boeing boeing.. gone]

A fellow PPRuNer sent me this link, I thought it was hilarious....:ok: A letter a passenger sent to Richard Branson!!

Which one is the starter, which one is the desert? | Popbitch (http://www.popbitch.com/home/which-one-is-the-starter-which-one-is-the-desert/)

open the link and enjoy!!

[racedo]

That is so good:ok:

Next time I bet he gets upgraded and gets 2 meals with Mustard Custard.

[Pilotinmydreams]

That was the funniest thing i've read in ages.

[AirborneSoon]

OMG! He\she had gotten hold of my crew meal...:ooh:

[Dan Air 87]

The standard of food is getting poorer which is why I fly to Mumbai BA or Jet. What class was he in??

[Shack37]

BB gone,
Has there been any update to this? I would have thought such a well presented comment with photographic back-up would have had a response, hopefully in the same tone ie with a touch of humour.

s37

[VAFFPAX]

It cracked me up, but perhaps they have a point...

That said though, I have never had a problem with the VS in-flight meals...

S.

[cirrus17]

according to the papers this morning, Sir Richard phoned this customer personally to apologise :ok:

[cojones]

Dear Richard, sorry SIR Richard,
The plonker wot wrote to you complaining about the nosh were way out of order. He’s the sort of wally who’d complain about the caviar being cold.
I’m writing to say how much I enjoyed me recent flight on Virgin.
Got the limo from the Surrey mansion. Good crack with the chauffeur. Great smutty jokes. He gave me the winner of the 3.30 at Kempton (it won at 16-1 that paid for the flight). He did imply that there might be some performance enhancing substance involved, but that he knew nothing about it – OK?
Got to Thiefrow. Checked in to the Upper Class Lounge and was pampered by your delectable virgins. Where do you get them Richard, sorry, Lord Branson? They are gorgeous – so young and innocent looking, pulchritudinous – pneumatic even. Beautifully spoken; soft, sexy voices.
“Oi, Trice, justnippinaytferafag, doll..awe-royt?”
“Yer, OK Shaz, tayk-yer-toim.”
Corr, sends a shiver down yer bits. Those lovely red dresses with the short skirts.
Do they wear stockings and suspendies, tights or hold-ups Rich, sorry, Your Eminence?
And do they get a red Mazda MX5 for their 21st Birthday if they’ve been ‘good’ girls?
A few glasses of Tesco fizz – yeah, I know it says Krug on the label, but who are yer kidding, most of this dross wouldn’t know a Bordeaux from a Claret – then time to board.
I do like your Upper Class, ‘cos I’m upper class…’aven’t always been, mind, but there’s still brass to be made in certain ‘industries’, eh, Rick, sorry, your Highness?
Bit more Cava, then a bloody good nosh. None of yer rubbish; typically British fare: Sheekh Kebab, Chilli Chicken Tikka Massala Vindaloo Phal and chips and a nice big bottle of Kingfisher. Phwoar.
Watched a pretty crap movie. I couldn’t find the porn channel, Rico, or do you pay extra for that – like on the telly?
And the best bit? That lovely massage; the shoulders, the head, the back and the hands. I asked ‘er if she did the ‘extras’, you know… I got a blank look.
“Executive”?
“Happy Ending”?
I showed ‘er a fistful of £50s, but still no luck. You might want to work on that, Ric.
And bu**er me, Ric, yer could’ve knocked me dahn wiv a fevver. The bloke what were flyin’ the bloody thing were a bloody girly, too. But I guess she knows what she’s doing.
Good flight Ricardo, sorry, your Excellency. Don’t listen to any of those poofdahs that moan about you and your Virgins.
I’ll fly with you again.
If you want, I could join your team as a travel consultant, and be on hand to give you and your girls any advice needed.

[oldbeefer]

But it worked!

Virgin complaint letter: Author of Virgin letter offered chance as airline's food tester - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4371036/Virgin-complaint-letter-Author-of-Virgin-letter-offered-chance-as-airlines-food-tester.html)

[vs_lhr]

Seems to have gotten a little out of hand, but I suspect goes to prove the viral power of the internet.

The meal the passenger had was simply a Hindu Veggie option. One would have thought he'd have special-ordered it, and therefore anticipated the contents. Or perhaps he wasn't a regular traveller on the Indian route and was expecting a VLML option.

What seems more of a pity is that crew and passengers alike have raised the issue of falling standards in food over the past couple of years, but it takes one comical report from an infrequent flyer, ironically about a pretty popular meal option, to get a response from the top brass.

[HuntandFish]

I did hear on Radio4 that the complainant is a bit of an expert and averages 5000 or so complaints a year !

[scrivenger]

HA ha lmao well done that man! Now cue all serial complainers, 'Dear Sir Richard..........

[The Nr Fairy]

If he's making 5000 complaints a year, I'm surprised he's got time to eat !

[PUNM]

This is no SPML, this is the standard regional choice consisting of Dhokla Chat with Tomato Wedge for the starter and Gajar Halwa on base of rabdi for the dessert. These are both very popular and receiving good feedback from people who know what it is and appreciate it.

It looks like the cabin crew have given the regional tray with the western entree either by accident, or requested by the serial complainant.

I'd be quite embarrassed if I was him.

[fcom]

Written by someone with a pompous sense of humour probably a training captain

[Domestos]

I think I've been flying too long....but if a passenger like this made that sort of complaint to me inflight (depending on their tone)....I would simply say "Eat it or starve....choice is yours!".

If they were really polite to me in the first place and not an :mad:hole about it...then I would do all possible to arrange something else....perhaps nick something from the Premium Cabin and give it to them. It all depends on how you treat me.....treat me with respect, and I will bend over backwards twofold to help you.....blast in my face and whinge and whine....forget it! I ain't gonna even gonna bother to pretend to care, even if you were starving....not my problem. Never bite the hand that feeds you....so many passengers just don't get it....its so simple....respect is a two way street.

Richard Branson was silly to reward spoilt brat behaviour like this...obviously another tacky PR opportunity of his.

[Flygulfair]

the best bit of the whole letter:

"Imagine being a 12-year-old boy Richard,” he wrote. “Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat there with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans’ stereo you picked out of the catalogue and wrote to Santa about. Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster, Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil.”

:D Brilliant!

Richard is just "keeping " his image, if it wasn't even on yahoo etc it would of went unnoticed.

update:

Paul Charles, Virgin’s Director of Corporate Communications, confirmed that Sir Richard Branson had telephoned the author of the letter and had thanked him for his “constructive if tongue-in-cheek” email. Mr Charles said that Virgin was sorry the passenger had not liked the in-flight meals which he said was “award-winning food which is very popular on our Indian routes.”

[Flygulfair]

Off topic but it won complaint letter of the year.

If you would like to Laugh your arse off click on the link below:

Best Complaint Letter (http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=172325&start=0)

[cojones]

I believe this is genuine...even if it's not, it shows what us Blokes have to put up with for those 'Happy Days'! (if it has been posted before, forgive me for reposting it.)

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls***. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX