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fl610
13th Jan 2009, 07:24
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me ?'

The GIRL SAID 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END :}

BlueDiamond
13th Jan 2009, 07:52
Interestingly, studies have shown that married men live longer and healthier lives than single men. The same studies have also shown that single women live longer and healthier lives than married ones.

I'd have to say the girl made the right choice! http://209.85.12.227/12099/121/emo/PMSL.gif

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Jan 2009, 08:55
...studies have shown that married men live longer and healthier lives than single men...

It just feels longer and they're healthy because of all the exercise they get hiding from 'Er Indoors.:E

Howard Hughes
13th Jan 2009, 08:59
A real gentleman would have asked her father, bugger what she thinks!:E

Sallyann1234
13th Jan 2009, 09:09
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me ?'
The GIRL SAID 'NO!'


It seems her judgment was better than yours...

BladePilot
13th Jan 2009, 09:29
I know a Filipina girl called Marryme. Brilliant piece of forethought by her parents.

The scene Boy meets Girl:

Boy: 'Hi my name is Chuck'
Girl: 'Hi my name is Marryme'
Boy: 'Marryme?'
Girl: 'Well yes I will, I thought you'd never ask'

:)

bnt
13th Jan 2009, 10:14
I dunno why everyone's moaning about marriage, when the real problem is children. I can see myself in a happy marriage, but not with kids in the mix. I guess I'm staying a bachelor for the rest of my days, then - just try telling a potential wife that you don't want children, and see what happens. :eek:

Parapunter
13th Jan 2009, 10:18
You don't know what you're missing bnt.:=

tony draper
13th Jan 2009, 10:37
A wise man once told me that marriages would last much longer if the couple lived apart in separate houses all week and only got together at weekends in neutral territor,y ie a third dwelling,wudden have worked for me the weekends were for nights out wi the lads.
:rolleyes:

Beatriz Fontana
13th Jan 2009, 10:38
bnt,

There are plenty of couples I know that have decided kids are not for them and certainly in my neck of the woods there are plenty of women who have chosen not to have kids at all. You're dating in the wrong circles. my friend!

And deciding you don't want kids has plenty of benefits. Like a cheaper divorce :}

Wader2
13th Jan 2009, 11:08
An no kids means you don't end up needing a 4 bedroom house, nappies, cot, bunk beds, bigger family car, push bikes, a bigger fridge, an industrial washing machine, cheap camping holidays, a taxy service, school expenses, driving lessons, a second/third/fourth car, bigger house, car insurance, university fees and then:

they complain that you have thrown out the things from their and redecorated their room.

Then you have to pay for her wedding, help with their mortgage, upaid babysitting, nappies, cot, car seat, bunk beds, push bikes . . .

lomapaseo
13th Jan 2009, 11:41
and farted whenever he wanted

farting is not joyful unless another person is there to smell and hear it.

BlueDiamond
13th Jan 2009, 11:42
... just try telling a potential wife that you don't want children, and see what happens.
There are plenty of women who do not intend to have children. Start looking for one of them if you'd really like to get married.

Scumbag O'Riley
13th Jan 2009, 12:01
They tend to change their minds though.

FlyingOfficerKite
13th Jan 2009, 12:11
In view of the high divorce rate, maybe it's time to start putting stickers in the back windows of our cars:

'REMEMBER - A WIFE IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FOR SEX'

or some other (more amusing) slogan?

FOK :)

Dan Gerous
13th Jan 2009, 12:27
farting is not joyful unless another person is there to smell and hear it.

So true. Spread a little warmth and happiness :ok:

BombayDuck
13th Jan 2009, 12:44
They tend to change their minds though.

Redundant post is redundant ;)

Parapunter
13th Jan 2009, 13:02
Hmm, lemme see.

Kids.

Nappies, feeds, sick smell in house for a year. Nappies, no social life, nappies, constant worry, constant illness, nappies, routine, washing, ironing, nappies, endless trips to the park, nappies, nursery bills, food bills, clothing bills, nappy bills, nappies, entertaining, loss of idiot box time, nappies. Did I mention nappies?
Wonderful heart bursting love like you'll never know.


No Kids.

Out on the razzle for as long as your bank balance & blood pressure can stand it. Freedom to be the oldest swinger in town, peace & quiet at weekends, although that may pall in your seventies after your missus/hubby croaks & you end up alone, eventually being found five weeks after your death, the police forcing your door in after the neighbours complain about the stench.:p

Scumbag O'Riley
13th Jan 2009, 13:06
:D :D :D

Ah yes, BombayDuck, cannot argue with that at all! :ok:

corsair
13th Jan 2009, 13:10
Once upon a time a boy meets girl, who said she wasn't that interested in having children.

Boy didn't get a chance to ask girl to marry him as she first brought up the subject in the middle of a row. Girl then decided to see off the possibility of grievous error on part of boy in picking out the 'wrong' ring by designing her own and having it made.

Then girl told boy she would like nice drive in the country one Sunday. On their return the hotel and church were booked and the wedding date set.

Boy and girl now have two kids. Boy has no money of his own but on the whole is quite happy.

(But sometimes wonders what hit him):ooh:

Beatriz Fontana
13th Jan 2009, 13:29
Wonderful heart bursting love like you'll never know

And then they get the ability to talk back to you... and even grow in to being teenagers.

Anyway these days it's boy meets girl, gets married, gets divorced, has a bit of fun, boy meets another girl, gets a second chance at marriage...

airborne_artist
13th Jan 2009, 13:31
Wonderful heart bursting love like you'll never know.

And if you have daughters, they then bring all their pretty friends round. Six 17/18 y/o girls in their bikinis in your back yard/garden while you are fixing the fence....

BombayDuck
13th Jan 2009, 15:07
Six 17/18 y/o girls in their bikinis in your back yard/garden while you are fixing the fence....

http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l153/Ethired/1184367762037.jpg

airborne_artist
13th Jan 2009, 15:09
Yep, just like that. But only when SWMBO was not looking :ok:

Ace Rimmer
13th Jan 2009, 21:09
I always say two kids in our house...me and her and that's enough...
MrsR (dosen't want sprogs can't stand em) says that being childish is her job...

Ah well off for a two week golf frenzy in warmer climes on Sat (Mrs R threatening arbitry handicap cuts for the purpose of winning) something to theis no kids lark thy knos:ok:

BlueDiamond
13th Jan 2009, 21:20
MrsR (dosen't want sprogs can't stand em)
Ah yes, Ace but of course she will change her mind ... the men on this thread have said she will. And being men, of course they know how women think. :rolleyes:

Chacha
13th Jan 2009, 21:41
they say never say never but one things for sure, i shall never marry again!

I will never ever have a comitted relationship again either ..

kids, well my two are away all the time at school and but they are not any bother when they come home .. except the extra cleaning and food bills ...


the best wind blowers are when you are in the bath .... :mad:

redsnail
13th Jan 2009, 22:13
Happily married.
No kids
No plans to have kids
Couple of motorbikes instead :E :D

groundhogbhx
13th Jan 2009, 22:23
What is it with children nowadays??? My 4, nearly 5year old, acts more like a teenager every day. I very rarely even get called Dad, it's normally my christian name. If I'd tried that at his age I wouldn't be able to sit down for a month, and as for giving him what he deserves I just get the door slammed in my face and him screaming that he's going to tell the policeman.

At least the 10 week old is as good as gold and sleeps all night, at the moment, and can't answer back YET:(

corsair
13th Jan 2009, 22:35
You need nanny 911 groundhog. My soon to be two year old is trying it on but we have a 'bold corner'. What is surprising is that it works. He invariably stays there. We've had to be quite fierce about his antics. In the long run it will pay dividends.

bnt
13th Jan 2009, 22:35
They tend to change their minds though.
Exactly. I've heard some horror stories about what happens when the "brooding instinct" sets in, and all larger considerations go out the window.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not anti-kid, and part of me would like to have at least one. I might even make a decent father - much better then my own, at a minimum. However, the potential disadvantages far outweigh the potential advantages.

Parapunter
13th Jan 2009, 22:37
I don't see how you can say that until you've done it. What are the advantages? Thing is, once you've done it, you invariably lose the receipt.

corsair
14th Jan 2009, 00:17
The problem with kids is that once you've have one or two, instinct kicks in and most people can't imagine life without the little creatures and would never go back to being childless.

I never wanted kids, no interest. But once they arrived I made the most of them.

I had a fascinating dream recently which went to the very heart of the issue. Dreams can be excellent at highlighting stuff like that.

I dreamt I went back in time and met my younger self before I had made all the well intentioned mistakes, poor decisions etc, that led to me having a life that was dull, boring, poorly paid, frustrating and generally so unsatisfactory that at one point I got very low indeed.

How many of us would love to be able to go back in time and tip off your younger self about many of the pitfalls?

Well, there I was in front of teenage mini me, him enthusiastically asking questions about the future. But I told him nothing.

Why? Because I knew that if I changed anything about his life. I would probably have never met my wife and definitely my two sons would never have existed. That I could not allow to happen.

In effect the dream was resolving my feelings about having children. It doesn't matter whether you wanted them or not. Once you have them you fear losing them. And I suppose, if you put a gun to my head, I've never been happier, relatively speaking of course.:hmm:

dogeared
14th Jan 2009, 00:49
Before you marry money make sure her family doesn't have a history of living longer than yours.At sixteen years old i could not understand why her parents had not died of old age before they hit thirty.They are just hanging on to spite me i'm sure.

V2-OMG!
14th Jan 2009, 03:27
Exactly. I've heard some horror stories about what happens when the "brooding instinct" sets in, and all larger considerations go out the window.

I am not a mother and have no plans on ever becoming one, but that instinct is pretty strong, as it should be. Otherwise, our species would have extinguished itself.

One of my earlier careers was in the civil court system. In the hundreds of divorce cases I had to listen to, when the judge asked the husband what contributed to the breakdown of the marriage, a large majority indicated that when the children arrived "I didn't feel like I mattered anymore."

No wonder most affairs are ignited by the desire to fill this emotional void - it seldom is sexual.

Jumbo744
14th Jan 2009, 07:26
I don't want to get married but I want to have a kid. I'll never never never get married. Actually I'm going to break up with my girlfriend today :ok:

radeng
14th Jan 2009, 08:03
Mrs radeng runs Girl Guides (Girl Scouts in American) That, plus a very good job, has put her off the idea of kids.

corsair
14th Jan 2009, 09:20
when the judge asked the husband what contributed to the breakdown of the marriage, a large majority indicated that when the children arrived "I didn't feel like I mattered anymore."


I've come across that attitude before and I have to say it irritates me. It's extremely childish. 'Oh dear, I'm not getting the attention I once got, boo hoo.' Those men need to grow up. That's the difference between being a man and being a boy looking for a Mother replacement.

They're my children too and I believe it's my responsibility to give them the best I can since I was in part responsible for bringing them into the world. Whinging at the lack of attention from a frazzled, stressed, overtired wife is not the way to keep your marriage safe.

Men get a bad rap at times, it's not surprising with attitudes like that.

Blacksheep
14th Jan 2009, 09:31
In my case the GIRL SAID 'YES!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and went shooting and sailing and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. :ok:

I did have to give up the motor cycle though. :(

Ace Rimmer
14th Jan 2009, 15:03
Bluey - she hasn't yet and it's 15 years and counting!!!

groundhogbhx
14th Jan 2009, 20:05
Yes please, tried the naughty corner (99% failure rate) no TV/video games (50% success) threatening no Christmas/birthday presents (moderate success) and not going to friends parties. Short of one of those white coats from the funny farm (but only with leg restraints) we are running out of ideas.

On the plus side I'm told it's the first 30 years that are the worst:}

I saw a cartoon in the paper that just about summed it up, I know why my parents wanted me to have kids......REVENGE

Beatriz Fontana
14th Jan 2009, 20:57
groundhogbhx, try "oi, it's dad!" every time he uses your first name. Or say something even more annoying back to him. He'll soon get bored. Or stop him from learning from Bart Simpson.

With any luck, he'll grow out of it when his peer group refer to their "dad".

Blacksheep, I starting skiing again when I got divorced (it was a delight which was negotiated out at the marriage stage). Ahhh, heaven. :}

BlueDiamond
14th Jan 2009, 21:11
Bluey - she hasn't yet and it's 15 years and counting!!! Yes, exactly, Ace ... and most women will never change their minds on this. They either want children or they don't and that's it. But of course the men around here have said that such women will change their minds, therefore it must be so. :E

Beatriz ... that seems a really weird thing to be asked to do - to give up skiing because you're getting married. What on earth was his reasoning behind that?? :confused:

Beatriz Fontana
14th Jan 2009, 21:17
Bluey, are you trying to spook us out by posting a near identical response to the one you gave five minutes short of 24 hours ago...?

I was asked to give up skiing because the ex thought it was expensive and dangerous. I know, I know, I didn't even tread the territory of getting a motorbike... :}

KateP
17th Jan 2009, 08:24
For serious? You just gave a thumps up and happy face that you were going to break up with your 'girlfriend today'. Hopefully she isnt a pilot too the poor thing!

But but but!!! I second you...sorta...i definitely want kids!!....and a family....but family/marriage seems to end up so much in divorce these days...i cant deal with it!!

Catch 22 - those i cant stand are those i love and those i love are pilots!!

BlueDiamond
17th Jan 2009, 09:22
... but family/marriage seems to end up so much in divorce these days ...
Well that doesn't happen for some mysterious reason that nobody has any control over, KateP, it's entirely the decision of the people involved. Nothing can make your marriage end in divorce, whether it does or not is up to you and your spouse.

hellsbrink
17th Jan 2009, 09:55
And if you have daughters, they then bring all their pretty friends round. Six 17/18 y/o girls in their bikinis in your back yard/garden while you are fixing the fence....

Yup, know that feeling except the stepdaughters I used to live with and their friends are more in the 20-23 y/o range. Half the time they would ask me to join them because they know I'll fetch them drinks, supply cigarettes, get the bbq going.......


Life can be so tough.....

Jumbo744
17th Jan 2009, 21:55
I was joking :-)

But i don't want to get married! But I'm sure a happy marriage that does not end up with a divorce is possible.

Beatriz Fontana
17th Jan 2009, 22:00
Apparently, you need a girl who drinks coffee (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4628070.stm)... but not that often (doesn't work if they drink coffee all the time).

I only drink coffee at weekends :O

hellsbrink
17th Jan 2009, 22:22
Apparently, you need a girl who drinks coffee (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4628070.stm)... but not that often (doesn't work if they drink coffee all the time).

I only drink coffee at weekends http://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/embarass.gif



I was in love with a girl who drank coffee
There was times when I couldn't keep her off me
That caffeine got her going
But her ugly side was showing
I was in love with a girl who drank coffee