View Full Version : Define "Düsseldorf," please!

6th Jan 2009, 15:23
I recently had the privilege of doing two trips with Ryanair. I would like to state that this is like my two jumps as a sport parachutist, my "first" and my "last" but who knows, really? Flying with Ryanair was cheaper than walking, even and while lacking in amenities it seemed to be perfectly safe.

They run a funny program from Bremen, when you can go on Sunday to Gothenburg but you can only return from there the next Wednesday, or so I was told. So I went for "Düsseldorf/Weeze" as my return destination. Fool that I am I didn't bother to check just where that might be; I had other things on my mind right then. I assumed it must be reasonably close to Düsseldorf and left it at that.

I had a tiny tingle of doubt when I noticed how prevalent Dutch speakers were on this flight to Düsseldorf. Was there perhaps a cheese festival taking place there?

Upon arrival I found myself nowhere near Düsseldorf but only 5 kilometres from the Dutch border. A-hah.

One bus per hour to Weeze Hauptbahnhof, one bus per hour to Düsseldorf (1:20 away) and one bus per hour to Duisburg. Wonderful!

I spent the evening in a guesthouse associated with Kevin's Pub in beautiful, downtown Weeze, since Weeze had been RAF Larbruch in a previous life, and then carried on towards civilisation the following day.

Weeze HBf consists of a station building that has been painted white and red and turned into a computer store and a little ticket machine out back that only sells local tickets for coins! Yet more wonderful!

A helpful local told me that the Lotto store on the main drag sold train tickets, so that I retraced my steps to that and bought a rail ticket home.

The ticket plus the hotel cost more than both legs of the flight but then the delay was only ten minutes on the train instead of about 1:30 leaving Bremen so that I guess you get what you pay for. Too, Kevin's Pub serves genuine British food, a not-to-be-missed reminder of why we fought and won a Revolutionary War, I suppose.

Travelling with Ryanair reminded me very much of travelling on Trailways buses when I was a little Private with no money in the U.S. Army: that same sense of being crushed in amongst many folks with no bucks to speak of and a useful humiliation in these hard times that now beset us.

There was the barn-like terminal at each end, the cramped aircraft interior in a violent shade of yellow with dark blue with adverts underground-style on each carry-on baggage compartment lid, being handed a very second-hand inflight magazine, being pitched a genuine Ryanair girly calendar that possibly featured (pant, pant) one of the very trolley dollys on our very flight, the chance to buy a Ryanair scratchcard and win a million euros... Thank you so much, MOL!

On the other hand, to call Weeze "Düsseldorf," hmmm... Whatever next, tip a tin of chocolate syrup over one of his 737-800s to call it "edible"? The man definitely has "the gift of the blarney," I have to give him that.

6th Jan 2009, 15:27
Define Düsseldorf, please?

Nippon am Rhein.

All my Japanese customers have their EU office in Japandorf.

Lon More
6th Jan 2009, 15:43
I don't think geography was MÖL's best subject at school. I think Weeze was a compromise between Düsseldorf West and Amsterdam East. Similarly Cherleroi could either be Paris North or Brussels South.

You get what you pay for, when comparing loco costs with "proper" airlines it's worth including the bus/train/ocean liner extras that may be incurred.

6th Jan 2009, 15:46
And Wien is not in Austria! (It's in the Slovak Republic.)

6th Jan 2009, 16:12
Frankfurt Hahn (ex USAF base 60ks away)
Paris Beauvais...

MOL really does like to take the p*** out of his customers.
At least BubbleJet and Baby normally get you to where you want to go:confused:

Scumbag O'Riley
6th Jan 2009, 16:23
At least BubbleJet and Baby normally get you to where you want to goWhat if I live in Hahn? Frankfurt Central isn't much fecking use then is it. And I assume Hahn has a car rental facility?

6th Jan 2009, 16:58
Scumbag - If you live in Hahn, then terrific.

Likewise, if you live in Bratislava then RYR's flights to Wien are just the ones for you!

Anyway, don't know why Michael just doesn't advertise Bratislava as Bratislava. Some very decent ale there. :ok:

6th Jan 2009, 17:21
Yeah, car rental (cue bitter laughter)! Such a deal on the Ryanair website, a Toyota Aygo for 50 €. Weird-looking Jappo-crappo mutant thing but if the price is right, and just hope an elk doesn't pee on your windscreen just to show you who is the Alpha beast on his stretch of Swedish highway...

Oops! That is when you book six months in advance, I guess because the price came up as 150 € when I tried to get one at Gothenburg City Airport. More rubbing elbows with plebs (my people, actually) ensued.

I should have known better after having picked some Swedish friends up from Hamburg/Lübeck-Blankensee. Try and find that one on a map without local knowledge!

As far as I know Bremen is unique in being a Ryanair destination that is actually located right where the name on the tin says it is. Now I hear they are threatening to pull out, though. No probs; I can always use Düsseldorf/Weeze now that I know how to find my way back from there.

Krystal n chips
6th Jan 2009, 17:27
Define Dusseldorf.....

I don't suppose saying a very nice and convivial town in Germany is the answer you are looking for here ?. :p:E

6th Jan 2009, 18:37
The only Düsseldorf I know of is the one that says "DUS", which I always thought was short for Dushan, but that was then. I ended up at the very nice modern airport by mistake because my KLM from Toronto to AMS was late and I missed the connection to VIE, where I was going. They re-routed me via DUS and personilized my luggage!


6th Jan 2009, 18:42
When Ryanair started flights to Friedrichshafen they advertised them as flights to 'Munich South'. Munich is only 160+ kilometres away and there is no direct rail/bus link. They were forced to change the advertising.

6th Jan 2009, 19:56
That's how Hitler finished up in Landsberg Prison.
Bloody Pikeys!!!!!

B Fraser
6th Jan 2009, 20:15
MOL never refers to Hell, he calls it Heaven South.


6th Jan 2009, 20:45
It's not, OK tis a short drive, but not in AT:ugh:

Captain Stable
7th Jan 2009, 09:05
Ruinair: Paul Kilduff: Amazon.co.uk: Books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ruinair-Paul-Kilduff/dp/0717144348/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231318971&sr=1-1)

Get it. Read it. A real eye-opener. Usually available from bookshops for £0.01 *

* Quoted price does not include taxes, extra charges and miscellaneous extras totalling £7.48

7th Jan 2009, 10:10
You mean like London-Luton, London-Stansted and London-Edinburgh? ;)

7th Jan 2009, 10:38
since Weeze had been RAF Larbruch in a previous life, and then carried on towards civilisation the following day.Yeah, dead uncivilised woz us RAF yobbos. And mostly drunk to boot. Me uncle had no trouble flying to Dusseldorf, though. Nor Bremen, Hamburg and Berlin - but do try to avoid Flensberg. (We never mention Dresden).

7th Jan 2009, 10:46
I had a neighbour in Luton from Dresden in the 60's.
He never went back there after the war. No one left.:sad:
Funny thing was that him and my Dad got on really well.
Stories from the other's perspective I suppose.:ok:

The Real Slim Shady
7th Jan 2009, 11:28
Bratislava to Vienna is around 35 miles.

Stansted, Luton and Gatwick to Central London, about 33 miles.

The majority of passengers know where they are going: they choose the flights for that reason and the cost. Stansted to Bratislava (Vienna) out 15 Jan back 17 Jan for £84 incl taxes with FR. Cheapest on Expedia from any London airport is Austrian £200.75 LHR - VIE.

Train form BTS to VIE takes about 35 mins and costs about €14 return.

Half the price of the cheapest alternate.

Same dates STN to Hahn: adult return is £74. Bus to Frankfurt is €12 each way.

Cheapest Expedia alternate is £260.62 via CDG with Air France and the journey time is longer than with FR and the bus.

Also form Hahn there are buses to Koblenz, Trier and Luxembourg amongst others which are more distant from FRA.

Same dates, STN - Venice £81 return. Expedia £105.60 with bmi from LHR. Still a saving of £24 per person and the train is €2 from Treviso to Venice.

Fancy a week in the sun? STN to TFS leaving on the 15th £90 return with FR. Cheapest 2 alternates are EZ from LGW at £125 or IB via MAD for £260. Of course TFS is actually pretty close to the resorts and everybody uses that airport so you can't really compare like with like as it would show that FR are the cheapest by 28%, which is substantial if you are taking 4 people.

7th Jan 2009, 13:33
I don't mind outlying airports if there's easy access to rail transport nearby, and all 3 of the outer-London airports meet that requirement. I do mean rail, not road, for two reasons: coaches are subject to traffic jam delays near cities, and I get carsick in stop-start traffic. :yuk:

I was recently considering a trip to see a friend who lives on the island of Fyn in Denmark, near Odense. I could get Ryanair to an airport called Billund (BLL), on Jutland, but when I looked at the onward transport facilities, I gave up on that idea. There's a 2-hour wait, after arrival, for a bus to take you to the nearest train station, which is something like 30km away. Cost-wise, there's little reason why I should put myself through that, rather than fly in to Copenhagen and get the fast train from there to Odense.

7th Jan 2009, 14:10
I have lived (and worked) in Odense in the 1980s and used to fly frequently through Copenhagen though always took the Mærsk 'hopper' to Odense. The cost was usually included in the flight price Copenhagen as an onward (back) journey IIRC - though there was the taxi-fare from Odense Airport into Central Odense.
The airport previously operated domestic flights to Copenhagen, but Mærsk Air terminated this route following the opening of the Great Belt Fixed Link.
There were also direct flights to Odense Airport from Birmingham and Cardiff I believe.
Odense Airport - Your direct link to the lowest airfares (http://www.webport.com/airport.php?code=ODE_Odense_Airport&lang=en&mode=a)
Things might have changed I suppose . . .
Odense Airport - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odense_Airport)

7th Jan 2009, 14:11
Real Slim - point taken mate, I know where Bratislava and Vienna are, I was just entering into the spirit of the thread!

It still seems to me to be odd that the destination is Vienna (Bratislava) rather than Bratislava (for Vienna).

Merlinx -It's not, OK tis a short drive, but not in AT

Sorry? :confused:

7th Jan 2009, 14:45
I worked for NRN airport from spring 2003 to summer 2008. I can confirm first hand that
a) most pax know where they are travelling
b) some pax don't.

The airport went through a number of name changes (that inevitably made a number of lawyers even richer).
The official names were (among others)
* Laarbruch
* Niederrhein
* Düsseldorf Regional
* Düsseldorf Regional Prefecture Weeze
* Weeze (Düsseldorf)

From the air law side it is and always will remain (I hope) "Niederrhein EDLV NRN".
The ATC call sign is and always will remain (I hope) "Niederrhein Tower".

I see that FR now advertises it as
* Düsseldorf-Weeze (NRN)

And on airport passenger information screen you see even more funny spellings, like
* at Palma de Mallorca: Neiderhin
* at Berlin-Schoenefeld: Weeze-DUS

Oh, how I wish they had just stuck to the original "Niederrhein" and invested all that money into a proper advertising campain for just that one name! :ugh::ugh::ugh:

7th Jan 2009, 15:02
Should've stuck to Larbruch I reckon.

Lon More
7th Jan 2009, 16:02
[QUOTE][Should've stuck to Larbruch I reckon/QUOTE]

Might have frightened a few punters off with visions of Aunt Betty's C130s in economy configuration, right down to the method of disembarcation. Even MOL's not that primitive.

Anybody thought to link this to the airline thread? Might get some interesting responses from The Irish Tenor amongst others

7th Jan 2009, 17:33
Even MOL's not that primitive

... yet.


8th Jan 2009, 17:38
Anything but that! I put up some light-hearted comment there and was promptly savaged by some half-mad bog-trotter who must think the sun shines out MOL's arse because I speeled "PeoplExpress" "People Express" and "ValuJet" "ValueJet" which proves rather definitely that I know absolutely nothing about the airline biz so there!

"MOL rules," in other words or perhaps he doesn't but either way, who needs to argue about that at length? I am out of my depth there so I stick to the warm, shallow waters of Jet Blast. If I got this one wrong, well, call that "irony".

No, here the basic problem was that I had to book in haste (well, really, get my teenage daughter to do that for me because I had to go milk the elk plus I do not understand this "internet" thing people keep talking about) when the choice fell between returning from either (not exactly) Stockholm to (nowhere close to, really) Hamburg or else fly Gothenburg to Wheeze as I did. I had no time to go to "Google maps" to figure out the joke right then and there.

I knew this one would end in tears somehow but I simply thought, "How far can I be from civilisation, really?" Well, the answer fell as "quite surprisingly far on a cold, dark night in Germany!"

When I saw how someone had ripped the guts out of that ticket machine at the so-called main station in Wheeze I began to panic, scanning the horizon for German/Dutch mutants coming after my flesh. Perhaps the lingering scent of that British microwave pub hamburger kept them off. Good thing I didn't go for the cheese sandwich instead, eh?

9th Jan 2009, 01:22
I had to go milk the elk

That's the first time I heard it called that!

I was trying to get to Hannover, couldn't get a flight and was sick of using Frankfurt. I considered Paderborn, which is actually Lippestadt or something. Sod it, bus and S-bahn. FRA, then ICE to Hannover.

I rather miss HAJ (BA doesn't fly there from LHR any more - I think they do from MAN, which is just silly). It had a regional, personal feel to it. And a pornographic cinema.


9th Jan 2009, 09:36
You obviously never saw that masterpiece "The Fatal Glass of Beer", in which an elk gets milked. Check it out on Youtube.

Many Americans travelling through Frankfurt used to find it titillating that there was a porno cinema down on the lower lever of the airport. I didn't know there was one in Hannover as well. Perhaps they shall put one in Wheeze to help while away the time between buses.

Speaking of porno the Ryanair in-flight magazine shows MOL in a skanky blue bathing suit in amongst his nubile, bikini-clad trolley dollies which must say something for their approach to diversity at least. Or was it just that they couldn't get George Galloway in his cat suit?