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View Full Version : Hell's Teeth! -- La Sylphide


Davaar
26th Dec 2008, 03:07
Here I am quietly plotting and scheming, doing no harm to anyone. Daughter's flight was delayed but she arrives tomorow. Great! I am cook i/c, my roast renowned, going to bake potato scones as a wee extra. Plum pud imported from Speyside. All Quiet on the Western Front.

Let's see what's on the Telly? Great Heavens!

La Sylphide! An ersatz Scottish Sylphide. Bloke poncing around in a pastiche of highland garb, a sort of paint brush hanging down in front for a sporran. No sgian dhu, but what better would one expect from him?

What in the Hell can the story be? A bunch of anorexic young women prances around the bloke. There seems to be a principal anorexic who hogs the camera. Turned to channel 4 to get the plot, but answer lies in a set of incomprehensible hand-sketches of an entirely different ponce.

Feel like that chap in the Ancient Mariner who having once looked back walks on and turns no more his head for close behind a nameless fiend doth tread. La Dame Belle, or bloke, hath me in thrall. I am powerless to turn off the grisly spectacle.

Some one must know. What is it all about?

Quick. The girl does not look too well, and the chancer in the kilt seems to be unhappy. Is there any way I can help? Can anyone?

It's getting worse. The chap is broken hearted and an awful witchlike woman has appeared, a real rotter if you ask me.

PLovett
26th Dec 2008, 03:30
The usual stuff Davaar.

Young Scottish man (yes its set in Scotland) is engaged to be married but falls in love with another (actually a woodland sylph - hence the title). An evil old witch (no, not the future mother-in-law) intervenes and tells the besotted young wifey-to-be that he beloved loves another. Young man gets a bit upset and throws the old crone out.

Old crone decides on revenge and conjures up a magical scarf and gives it to the young man telling him that it will bind his beloved to him forever.

Young man, foolishly believes her and gives the scarf to his sylph only for her to die in his arms. Meanwhile original wifey-to-be has accepted a better offer at the behest of the witch.

Nothing to it really.:ok:

Loose rivets
26th Dec 2008, 03:51
All Quiet on the Western Front.

Mmmm...not so on the southern boundary. Family in enraged dispute, no one calls till noon.

Bloke poncing around in a pastiche of highland garb, a sort of paint brush hanging down in front for a sporran.

Blame the producers of Braveheart, they grabbed all the kit.


No sgian dhu, but what better would one expect from him?

A lightly diphthongised skiən dy perhaps.


A bunch of anorexic young women

What do you expect? Taglioni only weighed 3 stone.



What in the Hell can the story be?

It's plain to see...If you want to have it orf with a sylph, don't piss orf the resident witch.



It's getting worse. The chap is broken hearted and an awful witchlike woman has appeared, a real rotter is you ask me.

Oh no! Serafina Pekkala?....The Rivetess?...........could it be worse?

Yes! Yes! a thousand times worse...my DIL could enter stage-left, and hex your life for ever.

Storminnorm
26th Dec 2008, 13:55
Serves you right for watching stories about sweaty poofters!!!!