View Full Version : Humbug!!

21st Dec 2008, 21:32
God, I hate Christmas.... :(

I'm a single man; in the last week I have spent 800+ pounds on presents. I spent today going to one sister's to drop off one one lot of them, on Tuesday I am driving a couple of hundred miles to drop off some more.

I hope, or had hoped, to have a quiet Xmas at home - down the pub and then a quiet day reading and watching TV.

Instead, what i am getting is utter grief and a tug of war from both sisters as to how I have to come to their houses for Xmas day, otherwise I will let down all my nephews and nieces who love their uncle ORAC and will be upset he has/slighted/ignored/doesn't want to see them...

The result? Instead of a glow of satisfaction that I have done, or exceeded my filial duty, I am sitting here utterly frustrated and thinking I ought to move abroad so I don't have to go through this every year...


22 Degree Halo
21st Dec 2008, 21:35
Invite them to yours:}

21st Dec 2008, 22:22
The "Post Office" is your friend. [Or if Hi Tech, PayPal] Send the Rellies a Cheque...Then they can fight the Christmas "Hassle"...Sorted :ok:

21st Dec 2008, 22:26
Is it Christmas already?

Damn, forgot to change the month on the calendar. Happy November everyone.

tony draper
21st Dec 2008, 22:31
Tell them you are working, you have been summoned as a reservist, after all the realm cannot be left undefended just because its Xmas,who knows what mischief the Hun or Ivan will get up to.

21st Dec 2008, 22:37
My sympathies ORAC.

I'm similarly situated and have been the black sheep for many years.

This year with a very ill Mother it's pull together time.

However, under other circumstances, I too find the enforcement of being social via blackmail rather unfair.

We have only ourselves to blame, the price of being totally free at Christmas via singularity is ostracisation at worse and being thought a weirdo at best.

I'm gonna find a wife for next year - much less hassle - maybe.


21st Dec 2008, 22:56
...otherwise I will let down all my nephews and nieces who love their uncle ORAC and will be upset he has/slighted/ignored/doesn't want to see them...

Aaahhhhhh:p Doesnt it feel good to be loved so much by your family???


Desert Dingo
21st Dec 2008, 23:06
This may help


21st Dec 2008, 23:22
I,m with you on this, the only good time of year to be an orphan,you can do exactly what you wish ,however the entrance requirements to the club can be a bit emotional. My sympathy to you ,cron.
My mate spent the last 5 crimbles driving (not drinking)around sussex/kent from bristol.
This year he just invited them all to come bristolwards but it seems to far for anyone to make the effort.
So hes coming to mine and a good time is anticipated.
It probably helps i spent my inheritance buying a pub.

21st Dec 2008, 23:24
... the enforcement of being social via blackmail ...
What a brilliant description, Cron ... and how true. I'm sure I'm not the only one who detests the way people engage in this annual contest of laying claim to members of their family. Thank goodness I have only the one place to go to for Christmas day but I sympathise with those whose relatives make it as unpleasant a "season of goodwill" as they possibly can.

CarltonBrowne the FO
22nd Dec 2008, 01:04
I work a long way from home. My mother sent a parcel to my accomodation address, and the post office assured her it will reach me before Christmas.
Problem: I leave for work about 0930 Christmas Eve. If the parcel has not arrived by then, it will be taken back to the depot. At the depot they will demand ID with proof of address.
All my ID has my home address on it.
Not to worry, I thought, I can always get the parcel sometime next year when it is returned to my parents' home and I can find time to visit.
Except my mother forgot to put a return address on the parcel.

22nd Dec 2008, 01:09
Hey, I am not even Christian and yet I am caught between people who have invited me for christmas! My sympathies to you, ORAC, and wishing you more peace than you expect :)

Charlie Foxtrot India
22nd Dec 2008, 02:19
Ah yes. The season of emotional blackmail and dreary obligations. Humbug.

My advice, emigrate to Australia.

People don't take offense here if you actually spend the day the way you want to.

This year Hubby is working away, and I plan to spend the day with my dogs for company, reading a good book by the pool, enjoying a glass of cold cider, mobile switched off and not an aeroplane in sight. Bliss!

22nd Dec 2008, 03:29
Ah! Now is the season where we appreciate the convenience of Amazon, Collins Bakery and "Sorry, Auckland is too far for one day." Fed up with rellies who cannot find the time and effort to come to you but expect you to go to them. Bah! Humbug! and a pox on their attempted emotional blackmail at this time.

22nd Dec 2008, 03:56
If you don't pick it up in ~3 weeks, they send it back.

Happened to me when my sister sent me a parcel a few years back and I was away on business, damn package went NZ->UK and back 3 times :ugh:

You should let them know or check in with them, just encase.

Howard Hughes
22nd Dec 2008, 05:19
One feels this thread will be far more popular than the 'Merry Yuletide' thread...;)

cockney steve
22nd Dec 2008, 09:33
I steadfastly refuse to indulge in this money-go-round of hypocritical, maudlin sentimentality.

If any offspring is in the area, they'll drop in, if not, it doesn't matter.
I stopped the "must buy a present" farce, some years ago,-by and large, it works.
I don't want to scoff loads of turkey (dislike it).

May invite another recluse round,but often do that anyway....make a meal, he gets to browse the net, we have a good, intellectually stimulating conversation.
Free to do my own thing... Christmas ? bah! humbug!

Effluent Man
22nd Dec 2008, 10:09
I detest everything about it.Not only is it bad for trade because people are queuing in shops to buy food they will never eat and presents that will be accepted with false enthusiasm,but the whole country has gone completely,utterly crackers.

I was accused of being anti- Christmas yesterday because I said I didn't especially like turkey.No, not Turkey,although I don't like there either,but the bland tasteless meat that it seems obligatory to buy six times more of than you are intending to consume.It was quite a simple statement really,that I would prefer a nice sirloin steak,a pork roast,a piece of venison,a rack of lamb,well anything really other than a turkey.

Mrs E has a fit of pique and says "Well you do the cooking". I love cooking,I have always regarded it as an especially interesting branch of science with a remarkably toothsome end result,so I agreed with enthusiasm.Now I am being assailed with "What are you doing for a starter". I pointed out that we are still more than 72 hours away from the starting gun and I have spotted some rather nice looking lobsters in the fish merchant round the corner.Just waiting to hear that lobster isn't a Christmas thing or I will run out of oven space or something equally inane..agree..HUMBUG!!

22nd Dec 2008, 11:06
Christmas, a good way to spoil a few days off.

22nd Dec 2008, 16:34
Shove rib of beef on the Webber and stay outside with some beers. Pleasure of solitude plus a good tasty feed afterwards, then sleeeeeeeep the rest of the day. Sorry for the thread wobble - or it that wibble:confused:

22nd Dec 2008, 18:21
What a bunch of scroogian misery guts you all are. Christmas is a time for fun and family, getting together to toast another year. To think of times past and futures to come. To understand that we should love one another despite all our failings and petty grievances. To see our family again and sit down together to enjoy a delicious feast.........................Who am I kidding.

You're right, it is a load of poo. But in truth I half enjoy it and always hold out hope for the perfect Christmas. Which I suspect will involve me working somewhere in the arctic miles from anywhere.

It isn't too bad anyway. All my family get along for the most part and there is never any tension. My wife's family has a black sheep but everyone is polite to her as they are all rather genteel. We are spending Christmas with the wife's sister but it's only a few miles away and after a few glasses of sherry. I'll be fine. Best of all they will mind the kids too. So it's light duties for me.

25th Dec 2008, 04:57
T'was the night before Christmas...Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves, and threw down his list
Miserable little brats...ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind. to scrap the whole works

I've busted my ass...for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa"..what do I hear
The old lady bitches...cause I work late at night
The elves want more money..The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk...and screwed all the maids
Donner is pregnant..and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought...that things would get better
Those arseholes from IRS..sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes...if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever..sent Santa Clause money?
And the kids these days... they all are the pits
They want the impossible..Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year...making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls..Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's... No request for them
They want computers and robots..they think I'm IBM!

If you think that's bad...just picture this
Try holding those brats..with their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose...they grab at my beard
And if I don't smile..their moms think I'm weird

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys..and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass..and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde and..I'm going SOUTH for the season!!
I'll laze in the sun...into bed I'll get tucked
And those snotty nosed brats..can all go get @#$%!!

25th Dec 2008, 07:44
I find it much easier to opt away for Christmas, over recent years i've spent Christmas in Angola, Grand Turk, and by far the best was two years ago in the Antarctic. This year Christmas is to be spent on an 80 million pound yacht in a dock yard in the South of France, chatting on pprune, MSN, Facebook with a glass of wine surrounded in ATPL books.
The whole family issues and where to go are resolved with the excuse of working away!
Bah Humbug

Capn Notarious
25th Dec 2008, 10:45
Well I have some work. So apart from four telly progs.
1 Dr Who.
2 Strictly come Dancing.
3 Wallace and Gromit.
4 Dancing on ice.

No I am not selfish Christmas Peace Exactly, peace and quiet.

Peter Fanelli
25th Dec 2008, 11:08
My advice, emigrate to Australia.

Just what Australia needs, more whining bloody poms!

25th Dec 2008, 11:53
Be a man ! Be selfish .. and take the heat !

glad rag
25th Dec 2008, 13:58
Kids have had 3 fights already. I'm to cook dinner (OK I like cooking so it doesn't really count) and just had a phone call from one of wifes tribe letting her know her father (the same tribe member who assured everyone he was being looked after in a nursing home over X-mas who also lives 3 doors down in a house he bought her 4 years ago and is FAR too busy to look after him) that he is in intensive care as he hasn't been taking his medication and has gone into a diabetic coma.

Families, who the **** needs them!

25th Dec 2008, 14:21
If you need a reminder of the true spirit of Christmas, watch: YouTube - Away In A Manger - Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCV3xa0bdi4)

Awa' in a food trough,
Nae Crib for a Crib...:ok:

25th Dec 2008, 15:15
I'm gonna find a wife for next year - much less hassle - maybe.

Hahahahaaaa! Such poor, misguided, naivity. :hmm:

25th Dec 2008, 17:38
We're about 9000nm from our families.

Home with the central heating on. Roast beef. Red wine.

Wallace and Gromit but having to endure Dr Who... :hmm: