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jimgriff
18th Dec 2008, 12:26
At the National Art Gallery in New York husband and wife were staring at
a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three
black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had
black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for
over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of
African Americans in the predominately white, patriarchal society.

"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink
willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression by gay men
in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a Welshman approached the couple and said,
"Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the
gallery?" asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted it," he
replied.

"In fact, there's no African Americans depicted at all. They're just
three Welsh coalminers. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

sitigeltfel
18th Dec 2008, 12:48
A group of visitors are being shown round the Natural History Museum by a guide. When they come to the dinosaur display one of the group asks the guide how old the skeletons are and the guide answers "Sixty Million and Six years". "How can you be so precise?" asks the visitor. The guide replies that when he began working there six years previously he was told they were Sixty Million years old!

Standard Noise
18th Dec 2008, 13:03
Went up into the attic yesterday and found a Christmas present that had been left up there from last year. It was only when the kids were unwrapping it that I remembered that I'd bought them a puppy.

FAN BLADE
18th Dec 2008, 13:20
There were three old black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time.
The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."
"Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked.
The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floesant orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked. The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties....."
What? No panties?" the others asked in disbelief.
The third lady says "Dat's right girlfriends, you hear me right. I
ain'twearin' any panties, cause if dis plane goes down, honey, dey
always look fo da black box first."

Lon More
18th Dec 2008, 15:59
10) He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students.

9) Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear."

8) He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.

7) He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized holiday Barbie.

6) His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.

5) Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey.

4) He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake because he's bugged the bedroom.

3) Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves their morning coffee.

2) Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the fireplace.

1) Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.