the day of some Ppruners

[flying.fantomas]

Typical day of some (I emphasize SOME) Ppruners.

10.00: Wakes up and doesn’t dare to turn around, he knows the inevitable result…
10.01: He pushes his head further into the pillow, in his typical ostrich like behavior, and starts to think:
I remember when I was in Paris; I saw the Eifel tower and le Louvre…
But in reality all he remembers is that they didn’t master the Oxford English.
I remember when I was in Rome; I saw the Coliseum and Trevi’s water fountain…
But in reality all he remembers is that they didn’t master the Oxford English.
I remember when I was everywhere,
We know now what he really remembers…
10.05 : He has a huge need to go on Pprune.But since he is in a damm I need to know / spread all kinds of information because in the end I am so lonely detox therapy, he is only authorized to go once a day on the computer, at 21.00…
10.08: He wishes it was 21.00
10.30: Finds a pretext (optional depending on the married / single thing…) to go to the company. In reality he is just going there to try to catch the latest story / gossip.
11.00: Arrives at the company.
12.00: He is depressed: no one crashed / cheated / lied / farted.Obama just won the election, but he doesn’t know what to do with that information.
13.00: He is now on his way to do some shopping, and then karting, and then biking, and then boating, and then motorcycling, and then everything that is going to help him reach 21.00 faster.
19.00: After having done all those things that make life sooooo interesting, he is now back home.2 hours to go.
19.30: He writes a letter to G.W.Bush: he wants George Lucas to be arrested : this guy wants the end of the galaxy…of course, he wrote Star Wars…
Bush being who he is, probably will…
20.00: He watches Saturday night live, and doesn’t laugh. He watches then the monty pythons, and doesn’t laugh either. He tries a jerry Lewis movie,a jim Carey one,and still the same, no laughs. He tries to find the S.A.R.C.A.S.T.I.C and I.R.O.N.I.C channels with no success. He then thinks of some comments he made on Pprune and has a huge laugh…
21.00: He switches on the computer, oohhh mmyyyy ggoooddd, was that an orgasm? He keeps in his left hand an oxford dictionary.
23.00: After the best Pprune session of his life, he falls asleep.
23.01: He starts to dream about the day he will finally have the guts to post a thread, instead of very constructive comments on what other people write…

Sorry, I couldn’t help.
Before some of you, who should read more and go out / drink less, answer:
I am happy here, with some ups and downs, I guess like everybody else.
Both my wife and my girlfriend are very good at simulating orgasms.
Like half of us I wish I was in command.
Unlike some of us, the day I will, I’ll do my best to remember what C.R.M is.
I go out quite often,
And when I do,
All it takes for me to write a new thread,
Is to look at you.

[Dirigible]

On another thread you did promise we were were rid of you. Could you make true your word and stop posting this drivel. It is a waste of time, not least your own. Join a teenage or high school forum where your 'creative talent' may be more enthusiastically received. This is not the right place. Thanks.

[flying.fantomas]

you are, it was just a farewell gift for W.K, W.O.O, and now to you.
you are right, i don't belong here.
I leave PPrune to you 3, you are way too brilliant/amusing/interesting/open minded/tolerant/out of the ordinary for me to think i could stand next to you.

[Kennytheking]

Dirigible,

You really should chill......its his time to waste and, if it irritates you so much, perhaps you should just not read the thread.

This humour thing is not everybodies "cup of tea" but if you are operating in the ME then you are gonna have to learn some tolerance mate.

[pool]

... yawn ...

[Wizofoz]

Kenny,

I don't think it's Dirigible that needs to chill. That whole diatribe above is a reaction from ff because some of us dared not to find his original dis-jointed, badly spelled and punctuated attempt at observational humor funny.

ff,

My original response to you was, in fact, supposed to be a humorous counter point to your post. You painted a picture of being a married guy in EK as pretty miserable. I just tried to point out that miserable people tend to be miserable whatever their circumstances. As this might have been taken as a criticism, didn't you have a strop!! OBVIOUSLY a humorless ass if I didn't ROFL at your (pretty obvious, though very hard to read) wonderful creation!!

Humor is very subjective. Blonds don't generally like blond jokes, black people don't often like black jokes, and just try telling a devout
Muslim the one about Muhammad (PB UH) and the stripper!!

So, just maybe, people in happy marriages don't find descriptions of Expat wives as money-crunching bitches, or the very funny idea that EVERYONE has marriage problems that funny. I don't think friends in the middle of Divorces and bitter custody battles would find it that funny either. Did your wife find it amusing?

And PLEASE!! Download ispell. If you want to write in English, it is NOT being some Spelling Nazi to ask that you at least try and make it intelligible English. I imagine you use CAPITALS for the start of sentences and proper nouns (like I) in your native tongue?

As to humor, Love Python, Carey way over does it,and Lewis was no good without Martin. Try Marx Bros, Robin Williams doing stand-up or any of Woody Allen's early stuff and we'll talk.

You'll enjoy command, the F/Os ALWAYS laugh at your jokes.

[Oceanic]

In order for observational humour,or irony to be funny it needs to be smart and witty, otherwise it falls flat. This is a difficult thing to achieve, especially in the written form of a language that is not your own. ff falls short, yet persists in opening not one but multiple threads on a professional forum. This does waste everybody's time. We may choose to ignore it, but to scroll through a number of threads in search of a useful exchange of information and get repeatedly this diatribe is annoying. If this were moved to Jetblast I'm sure there would be no further comment. My hope is we are rid of it.

[Wizofoz]

It's self righteous Drivel, not self righteous dribble (Pretentious, Moi? (Now come on, THAT"S funny!!))

[flying.fantomas]

I really must have a communication problem,
once again, i am so so so sorry for my english.
what can i say, while you were having your degree in mastering your own language, i was having mine in astrophysics.
i am so sorry i confused Pprune for the Shakespeare wanna be site.
now, since i have some education, i will not bother longer.

[QCM]

So PPNe is only dedicated to fluent writters with a perfect humor....english style of course...would be funny to see how some of these brilliant english perfectly speaking gents would perform in Arabic,Spanish,French or Greek,...etc...:ok:

[5star]

Wizofoz,

Your name says it all: You must be from that big isle the Brits left some time ago. The nation with a lengthy users' manual, best consulted before starting any interaction in the cockpit. Looking at the number of posts, do you have a life outside the plane or Pprune?

I bet the majority of us here at pprune doesn't f*kng care if the spelling is 100% right or not. As long as the message comes accross. Well looking at the number of reactions everyone got it...If F.F. is not a native English speaker he's doing a hell of a good job.
Like him, I speak and write 6 languages, most of them NOT perfect. How about you?

Below you have a couple of terrabytes of waste space left to write your opinion about my spelling or to bash FF posts.
Anyway, have nice day. Carpe diem.


FlyingFantomas,

I'm looking forward to your next post. :ok:

[White Knight]

FF - you post complete garbage... Even allowing for the fact that you're not posting in your own language it's still garbage..

I find watching the grass grow or drying paint to be several times funnier than your pitiful attempts at humour.. You would not get a job with the 'Pythons'. On the other hand I haven't tried to post anything funny so you don't actually know that I have a very fine sense of humour. Just because I find your drivel to be totally unfunny doesn't mean I have no humour - you just post cr@p:ugh::ugh:
And as for astrophysics - well, that's pretty basic stuff man!!!

5star - jolly well done with the language, but I only need to know ENGLISH:}:} (although I can get by reasonably in a couple of other languages)

[hunterboy]

White Knight....then why read it? After all FF did start the tread. It is not as though you read the thread by mistake is it?

[sanddude]

Lets face it guys, this is a forum for guys being bored on there CCU layover (80%), reading the **** from guys who think is a forum for professionals (20%).

Its the bored versus the have no life guys:(, thats all it is.

I find it hard to believe that guys sitting in the point of a shiny jet take this as an professional forum. Must be the same guys who post on the DSO website. You should see what there wives post:ugh:. In that matter, I think FF is pretty close to the truth.;)

Pprune is a freak show, and I hope it stays that way:ok: Beats showtime!

[gimmesumvalium]

Hi FF,
I was losing faith in you till I found the following extract from the 'Wizard from Oz':

A ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Oz

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid FF.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Oz: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Oz: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Oz: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Oz: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Oz: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Oz: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*cking liar…'



Now my faith is restored...

Nice one, but cut the size of the letters down, large capitals = shouting in netiquette speak, thanks EGGW

[Watchdog]

pretty good...but the location should be the land of the long white cloud !!! :E

[mini cooper]

What amazes me is that 'flying.fantomas' has all this time to spend writing these diatribes (warning may need to get the dictionary out!!)
He or she is so happy to be out here (I suppose somewhere in the gulf?) that time is of no object when it comes to publishing the articles on pprune. In the summer with the high temperatures this maybe a normal activity but when the temperatures are getting more bareable why spend so much time on pprune, is something amiss or maybe he or she just likes the sound of their own voice or reading their own writing?
Just an observation.:cool:

[spierpoint jones]

jones:cool:

[baob2oba]

Wings spread from his DS Citroen, propellers burst,
and from behind his priceless fetish amazing blue latex mask,
he goes like...: " aHA HA HA HA HA HA HA "

Poor Louis...

Fantomas Forever

[alex1987]

What would a normal life be like in the sandpit or better yet, your day?:rolleyes:

[msr001]

Wizofoz
Not that I agree with FF, but I really dont understand what's the big deal if a non native English speaker misspells a work or two.
I would like to see how good would you express yourself in Arabic.
Look at the bigger picture, afterall Eglish is the official language of aviation not aviators...

[Wizofoz]

msr,

Because a free, down-loadable spell checker and an extra 30 seconds effort makes for a post that is much clearer and easier to read. I consider it a simple courtesy.

[QTRminator]

FF,

Your English is not the problem as I see it, it's just that your post is not at all funny.
I don't know if you have a communication problem but, no hard feelings, you are no comedian, that's for sure.

[happy at last]

You really dont belong here, as someone rightfully said.

Your'e way too good to waste your talent out here anyway! with people who don't understand the H of humor.
This site according to some is only meant for bitching, complaining and fretting.
Will miss having a good giggle a your posts though.:sad:
Goodluck!

[wizard1]

I am amazed that you people have the interest to even read let alone respond to such tedious drivel.
Its a free world and an open forum which we all appreciate but it suprises me the response this idiot solicits. Its more of a comment on the readers than the scribe.

There are surely more topical and desperately relevant issues to comment on (Dubai bankrupt???)

Like an irratating child - ignore it and eventually it will get bored and go away.

[flying.fantomas]

wizard1 :

you are right, answering the question if dubai is going to go bankrupt is of the upmost importance.it must be true, because bloomberg says it.they also said, the subprime/credit crunch was not going to affect the economy too much in the u.s, and then it would never spread to europe,and the barril would not go below 70, etc etc...so i agree with you, the end of dubai is near, and we should all talk about it.
Seeing that you mastered in economy, you are the right one to adress to solve the world's financial crisis.
and i am the idiot....
definitely right, and you behave like secretaries.

[Wizofoz]

What, of course, is missing from the picture here is the post from flying.fantomas which EGGW removed and warned ff over.

In response to a few posts critical of his ramblings, ff posted a filthy, highly offensive post basically stating, in graphic detail (and terrible English) how he was having sex with our wives and how much they were enjoying it as we all had small penises.The next morning, just to make sure we all got the message, he cut-and-pasted the post onto another of his threads.

Infantile, puerile, disgusting and HIGHLY offensive.

He obviously knew he had well and truly crossed the line as he sent me two PMs apologizing for the post, and said he wouldn't be posting any more.

See how long THAT lasted.

ff, as you have broken your (repeated) undertaking not to post here any more, and as you now try to defend the post you made by saying other People should be warned off if they say anything critical of YOU, I can see your apology to me was obviously insincere. I therefore retract my acceptance of that apology, and should I ever find out your identity, you and I will have a real problem as you have written something EXTREMELY offensive about my family.

Some people find your posts funny. I can see why. A cynical, satirical look at life anywhere is always potentially amusing,and, as I have tried to explain to you, my initial response was supposed to be a light hearted re joiner, from a different point of view.

The fact that anyone who wrote anything other than blind adoration of you was subjected to ridicule and ultimately out-right offense shows that comedy is not something you should pursue. Some portion of the population will always find anyone not that funny. Childish (no, even children are capable of restraint, let's go for INFANTILE) reactions to criticism, followed by after-the-fact revisions (See! See! you don't warn HIM off! You're Picking on me because I'm not English!! Wah Wah!!) really does show a temperament not suitable to publishing ANYTHING in the public sphere.

[EGGW]

Some of us have a life FF, and don't read Pprune every day, inlcuding us volunteer Mods. FF you are entitled to post what you want within reason, but like i told you in my PM to you, any rude rants are not wanted and will be deleted. You are more than welcome to post :ok:
I try and be fair to everyone, not always easy, but i try.

EGGW

[QTRminator]

Probably about 90% of the posts supporting FF is FF himself posting under different name. Talk about pathetic pprune addicts....:yuk:, get a life.