flying.fantomas
12th Nov 2008, 10:19
Hello to you all desperates out there...
Let us start today's show with the quote of the day...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Now let us take 1 minute and all of us think about our experiences in the last year....
which one of you is not smiling ?.....
Very well...let us have a look at a single pilot's typical day...
14.00 : wakes up and turns around.looking at the girl next to him he thinks that dreams do come true, you can feel like beeing james Bond, even when you look like hercule Poirot.All it takes when you meet a girl in the u.a.e is to say : pilot, airline pilot.
14.05 : No breakfast, he is not allowed to have a maid...
And the girl in his bed will surely not prepare one for him,because she already thinks she is his wife...
15.00 : The girl who is in his bed finally emerges, she still smells alcohol...
15.01 : She looks at him and says, bob, yesterday was the best s.. i ever had...
The only problem is that his name is not bob, it is the name of his best friend.
15.02 : After a few questions the girl in his bed finally admits that, on the contrary of what she was swearing a few hours ago, he is not her first pilot.He is already the seventh. In reality he is the 32 sd, but when it comes to the men they slept with, woman have short time memory.
15.03 : His super developped pilot ego is now going down faster than the dow jones.
15.04 : He sends the girl back home, she has a few tears, but as soon as she will be out of the elevator she will call bob, and have s.. with john.
15.05 : In a desperate attempt to salvage his ego,he calls all the girls he knows (and didnt sleep with yet) to have breakfast, but nobody answers, of course, no cabin crew is awake before 16.00...
15.10 : He calls a couple of friends to have a cofee at the mall.
15.30 : He arrives at the mall.
15.35 : He meets the other desperate single expat guys and , of course, talks bad about the company.He could talk about his little experience in the morning but his ego will not let that happen.
15.40 : He looks accross and sees some married collegues...
15.41 : In the only moment of the day where he will have also the brain of hercule Poirot,and not just look like him, he thinks... :
why is it that men always marry decent girls (*)and want them to behave like bitches, when they inevitably will always be attracted by real bitches who just pretend to be decent girls.
(*) this is before they become the most dangerous predator known to man : the divorcing woman.
15.42 : He stops thinking and notices the table where a new batch of cabin crew is sitting.Time to be james Bond...
15.44 : He has all the girls cell numbers, he used the magic words : pilot, airline pilot.
Tomorrow he will bring them to the island in his 40 feet boat that he will have finished to pay in 40 years .He will not call his buddies to join...he needs to rebuild his ego.
15.45 : He looks at the table with the desperate married guys and smiles...what a bunch of loosers...
15.46 : Talks again bad about the company,and occasionally about the married guys who managed to get an affair.
15.50 : He looks at his mobile to check if it is still on because no girl called him today.
But nobody will call him... because the girl that was in his bed already spread the news : he is an absolute s.. disaster.
When it comes to spreading very interessting and reliable news, women will make PPRUNE look like stoneage technology.
16.00 : He leaves the guys, on his way to be a better man.
16.30 : He arrives at the Porsche show room, he needs to buy a faster car than his B.M.W...it is all part of the ego rebuilding process.
17.00 : He leaves the show room, with 365.000 dhs more debts.
17.01 : He calls some of his friends to complain about the company salary...
17.30 : Arrives home, no one there to talk to...so he watches tv, plays on ps3 and wii.he feels like a subprime.
18.00 : Calls his real friends (...) to organize dinner,but nobody is free.He then calls again the girls he didn' t sleep with yet but they don't answer....they know about his bed performance capabilities...
18.05 : Puts a frozen pizza into the micro wave.
18.10 : Watches cnn.
18.11 : Using a decoding system that will make the C.I.A look like boyscouts, he is looking at p... channels now.He can, because there is no wife next to him...
20.00 : Still in a huge need to rebuild his ego, he goes to xxx, where all the a... w... are.
20.01 : He arrives in xxx and meets a lots of girls with lots of different names, but no one he likes.
21.00 : He decides to go to yyy, where all the r.... w.... are.
21.30 : He arrives in yyy and meets a lots of girls with lots of different names, but no one he likes.
22.30 : He decides to go to zzz, where all the c... w.... are.
23.00 : He arrives at zzz and meets lots of not so different girls, but they all have the same name, c.c...
23.30 : He meets one of the new batch girls he saw in the afternoon.He buys her 256 drinks, after which she really thinks he is james Bond.
02.00 : He brings her back home.
02.01 : She says to him she never dated a pilot...
02.05 : After the best s.. of his life, he falls asleep... and the girl sends a text to bob.
02.06 : He starts to dream about the cabin crew he will meet, that will love him for who he is (james or hercule ?), and who he will marry and build a familly with, based on strong values....
How people give millions of dollars airplane in the hands of someone who believes in this fairy tale crap is something nobody understands....
Well, that's it folks...see you next saturday with the much anticipated day of a cabin crew...
Let us start today's show with the quote of the day...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Now let us take 1 minute and all of us think about our experiences in the last year....
which one of you is not smiling ?.....
Very well...let us have a look at a single pilot's typical day...
14.00 : wakes up and turns around.looking at the girl next to him he thinks that dreams do come true, you can feel like beeing james Bond, even when you look like hercule Poirot.All it takes when you meet a girl in the u.a.e is to say : pilot, airline pilot.
14.05 : No breakfast, he is not allowed to have a maid...
And the girl in his bed will surely not prepare one for him,because she already thinks she is his wife...
15.00 : The girl who is in his bed finally emerges, she still smells alcohol...
15.01 : She looks at him and says, bob, yesterday was the best s.. i ever had...
The only problem is that his name is not bob, it is the name of his best friend.
15.02 : After a few questions the girl in his bed finally admits that, on the contrary of what she was swearing a few hours ago, he is not her first pilot.He is already the seventh. In reality he is the 32 sd, but when it comes to the men they slept with, woman have short time memory.
15.03 : His super developped pilot ego is now going down faster than the dow jones.
15.04 : He sends the girl back home, she has a few tears, but as soon as she will be out of the elevator she will call bob, and have s.. with john.
15.05 : In a desperate attempt to salvage his ego,he calls all the girls he knows (and didnt sleep with yet) to have breakfast, but nobody answers, of course, no cabin crew is awake before 16.00...
15.10 : He calls a couple of friends to have a cofee at the mall.
15.30 : He arrives at the mall.
15.35 : He meets the other desperate single expat guys and , of course, talks bad about the company.He could talk about his little experience in the morning but his ego will not let that happen.
15.40 : He looks accross and sees some married collegues...
15.41 : In the only moment of the day where he will have also the brain of hercule Poirot,and not just look like him, he thinks... :
why is it that men always marry decent girls (*)and want them to behave like bitches, when they inevitably will always be attracted by real bitches who just pretend to be decent girls.
(*) this is before they become the most dangerous predator known to man : the divorcing woman.
15.42 : He stops thinking and notices the table where a new batch of cabin crew is sitting.Time to be james Bond...
15.44 : He has all the girls cell numbers, he used the magic words : pilot, airline pilot.
Tomorrow he will bring them to the island in his 40 feet boat that he will have finished to pay in 40 years .He will not call his buddies to join...he needs to rebuild his ego.
15.45 : He looks at the table with the desperate married guys and smiles...what a bunch of loosers...
15.46 : Talks again bad about the company,and occasionally about the married guys who managed to get an affair.
15.50 : He looks at his mobile to check if it is still on because no girl called him today.
But nobody will call him... because the girl that was in his bed already spread the news : he is an absolute s.. disaster.
When it comes to spreading very interessting and reliable news, women will make PPRUNE look like stoneage technology.
16.00 : He leaves the guys, on his way to be a better man.
16.30 : He arrives at the Porsche show room, he needs to buy a faster car than his B.M.W...it is all part of the ego rebuilding process.
17.00 : He leaves the show room, with 365.000 dhs more debts.
17.01 : He calls some of his friends to complain about the company salary...
17.30 : Arrives home, no one there to talk to...so he watches tv, plays on ps3 and wii.he feels like a subprime.
18.00 : Calls his real friends (...) to organize dinner,but nobody is free.He then calls again the girls he didn' t sleep with yet but they don't answer....they know about his bed performance capabilities...
18.05 : Puts a frozen pizza into the micro wave.
18.10 : Watches cnn.
18.11 : Using a decoding system that will make the C.I.A look like boyscouts, he is looking at p... channels now.He can, because there is no wife next to him...
20.00 : Still in a huge need to rebuild his ego, he goes to xxx, where all the a... w... are.
20.01 : He arrives in xxx and meets a lots of girls with lots of different names, but no one he likes.
21.00 : He decides to go to yyy, where all the r.... w.... are.
21.30 : He arrives in yyy and meets a lots of girls with lots of different names, but no one he likes.
22.30 : He decides to go to zzz, where all the c... w.... are.
23.00 : He arrives at zzz and meets lots of not so different girls, but they all have the same name, c.c...
23.30 : He meets one of the new batch girls he saw in the afternoon.He buys her 256 drinks, after which she really thinks he is james Bond.
02.00 : He brings her back home.
02.01 : She says to him she never dated a pilot...
02.05 : After the best s.. of his life, he falls asleep... and the girl sends a text to bob.
02.06 : He starts to dream about the cabin crew he will meet, that will love him for who he is (james or hercule ?), and who he will marry and build a familly with, based on strong values....
How people give millions of dollars airplane in the hands of someone who believes in this fairy tale crap is something nobody understands....
Well, that's it folks...see you next saturday with the much anticipated day of a cabin crew...