flying.fantomas
10th Nov 2008, 07:37
Hello to you all desperates out there...
tonight we'll talk about a crucial subject :
what is the typical day of a married pilot in the U.A.E ?
answer:
10.00 : wakes up, turns around and realizes dreams don t come true, wives just don t disapear overnight.
10.10 : eats breakfast prepared by the maid, the wife is overloaded waking up.
10.15 : looks at his maid and wonders : what is it she cannot do that my wife can ? and cannot find anything.
10.30 : finds a pretext to go have a cofee with other desperate expats.
10.35 : leaves his credit card to the wife so she can feel happy when he is having a cofee.
11.00 : arrives at the mall.
11.05 : meets other desperate expats and talks bad about the company.
12.00 : switches off the phone so the wife cannot join him.still talks bad about the company.
12.30 : time to go home, secretly hopes that the wife will not be there.
13.00 : definitely, dreams don t come true, the wife is there.luckily, someone funny to talk to is home : the kids finished school.
13.30 : eats lunch prepared by the maid because the wife is overloaded doing nothing.
14.00 : temptation is big to have a nap, but what 's the point, dreams don t come true.
14.30 : finds another pretext to have a cofee.
14.31 : gives again the credit card to the wife, its like a pavlov's reflex now everytime he wants to go out.
.
15.00 : arrives at the other mall.
15.05 : meets another group of desperate expats and talks bad about the ones he met in the morning, and also about the ones he never met.
16.00 : switches off the phone for the same reason than in the morning, and anyway he is fed up by the texts he gets from the bank informing him on the obscene amount of money the wife is spending.
16.05 : he leaves the other guys, thinking he is a better man.
16.30 : he arrives at the showroom and buys a new car.
17.00 : leaves the show room, convinced he is now a happy man.
17.10 : on the highway he sees in the distance black smoke and thinks : i remember the day i was watching discovery channel ( the wife was next so he couldn t watch porn ) they talked about those weird cases of people catching fire spontanously ....could it be the wife ?
17.15 : he reaches the black smoke, its not the wife, it is the 3498 th accident of the day.he is sure now dreams don t come true.
17.30 : reaches home.
17.31 : the wife tries to tell him the latest gossip, and he says he is not interessted, forgetting he was doing the same hours ago.
18.00 : he is so happy he has kids, at least there is someone to talk to.
18.30 : takes a bath, and regrets he is not in Bangkok.
19.00 : eats dinner prepared by the maid, the wife was too tired because of the shopping and gossiping frenzy.
19.30 : plays a bit with the kids, the wife is not a funny toy anymore...
20.00 : watches discovery channel, because the wife is next...
21.00 : goes on PPRUNE to read very reliable information on the company and collegues.
information he will then use the next day for the cofee sessions.
22.00 : goes to bed, hoping the wife has a headache...
22.05 : falls asleep and starts to dream about bad things happening to the wife.but its just a waist of time.it will not come true, so he dreams about Bangkok, at least that will come true.
Well, that's it folks !
see you next saturday for the typical day of a single pilot.
And remember...there is no place like Hell !
tonight we'll talk about a crucial subject :
what is the typical day of a married pilot in the U.A.E ?
answer:
10.00 : wakes up, turns around and realizes dreams don t come true, wives just don t disapear overnight.
10.10 : eats breakfast prepared by the maid, the wife is overloaded waking up.
10.15 : looks at his maid and wonders : what is it she cannot do that my wife can ? and cannot find anything.
10.30 : finds a pretext to go have a cofee with other desperate expats.
10.35 : leaves his credit card to the wife so she can feel happy when he is having a cofee.
11.00 : arrives at the mall.
11.05 : meets other desperate expats and talks bad about the company.
12.00 : switches off the phone so the wife cannot join him.still talks bad about the company.
12.30 : time to go home, secretly hopes that the wife will not be there.
13.00 : definitely, dreams don t come true, the wife is there.luckily, someone funny to talk to is home : the kids finished school.
13.30 : eats lunch prepared by the maid because the wife is overloaded doing nothing.
14.00 : temptation is big to have a nap, but what 's the point, dreams don t come true.
14.30 : finds another pretext to have a cofee.
14.31 : gives again the credit card to the wife, its like a pavlov's reflex now everytime he wants to go out.
.
15.00 : arrives at the other mall.
15.05 : meets another group of desperate expats and talks bad about the ones he met in the morning, and also about the ones he never met.
16.00 : switches off the phone for the same reason than in the morning, and anyway he is fed up by the texts he gets from the bank informing him on the obscene amount of money the wife is spending.
16.05 : he leaves the other guys, thinking he is a better man.
16.30 : he arrives at the showroom and buys a new car.
17.00 : leaves the show room, convinced he is now a happy man.
17.10 : on the highway he sees in the distance black smoke and thinks : i remember the day i was watching discovery channel ( the wife was next so he couldn t watch porn ) they talked about those weird cases of people catching fire spontanously ....could it be the wife ?
17.15 : he reaches the black smoke, its not the wife, it is the 3498 th accident of the day.he is sure now dreams don t come true.
17.30 : reaches home.
17.31 : the wife tries to tell him the latest gossip, and he says he is not interessted, forgetting he was doing the same hours ago.
18.00 : he is so happy he has kids, at least there is someone to talk to.
18.30 : takes a bath, and regrets he is not in Bangkok.
19.00 : eats dinner prepared by the maid, the wife was too tired because of the shopping and gossiping frenzy.
19.30 : plays a bit with the kids, the wife is not a funny toy anymore...
20.00 : watches discovery channel, because the wife is next...
21.00 : goes on PPRUNE to read very reliable information on the company and collegues.
information he will then use the next day for the cofee sessions.
22.00 : goes to bed, hoping the wife has a headache...
22.05 : falls asleep and starts to dream about bad things happening to the wife.but its just a waist of time.it will not come true, so he dreams about Bangkok, at least that will come true.
Well, that's it folks !
see you next saturday for the typical day of a single pilot.
And remember...there is no place like Hell !