You have been too long in Middle East....

[whatzmyname]

You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

1.You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
2.You think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative 3.You think every one's first name is Al
4.You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
5.You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
6.Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy /babysitter/maid/helper
7.You believe that speed limits are only advisory
8.You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
9.You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
10.You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
11.You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
12.You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
13.You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
14.You make left turns from the far right lane
15.You send friends a map instead of your address
16.You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
17.You think that 'Howareyoufine' is one word. So is 'Mamsir'
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
18.You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
19.You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
20.You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
21.You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
22.You expect queues to be 1 person de ep and 40 people wide
23.You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
24.Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you
25.You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
26.You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
27.You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
28.Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
29.Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
30.Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

Any more to add?

[Jetjock330]

Brilliant, just brilliant and so true!:D

[downNOgreens]

When the footprints on the toilet seat.....are your own.:}

[In such way that...]

- When you start to say "inshalah" for everybody who ask you for something to be done...

:ugh:

[concordino]

When you intentionaly start bumping into Indians and the likes in public places coz they invaded your private space.:}

Now back to working out those shoulders....:ok:

[Panther 88]

For Americans:
When you don't have to do a centigrade conversion to Fahrenheit.

When you are no longer bothered by "roundabouts"

When you talk on your "mobile" and not your cell phone.

When 85degrees F is a cooling trend

When you think the NY Times and CNN are a bit too conservative

When the Gulf News editorials are "spot on".

When you have no clue who is in the World Series, or care or more excited to watch Manchester Utd. play Arsenal than Dallas vs. Washington or Green Bay vs. Chicago.

Not knowing who is in the BCS

When "March Madness" means it will start heating up rather than what it means.

[Payscale]

When you figure out what your Good Name is...

[JCUERVO]

Can any one help me find the "Hash" key ?:}

[downNOgreens]

When you use the phrase without thinking twice "what to do, yani?" when no solution comes to mind.

[BlueSkye]

When you intentionaly start bumping into ....


I think I have perfected the "Accidently-elbowed-the-guy-behind-me-in-the-face-at-the-ATM" yawning stretch.

The "Apologise-profusely-while-ROFLMAO-in-my-head" bit is coming along fine as well.


15.You send friends a map instead of your address


Was asked for proof of physical address the other day. The thought of taking a picture of the building, with me in front of it, did cross my mind.

[Jetjock330]

....when "sex on the beach" is no longer a drink, but 90 days in jail:}

[whatzmyname]

Pepsi is called Bepsi....and repeated twice when mentioned.

[NTM]

Funny thread, here are a couple I have experienced,

-When someone ask you a question, you start wobbling your head..

-When someone gives you a phone number, you get it on the first take.

-When the visibility drops below 10Km, you brief for an LVP and an autoland..

Later,

[Panama Jack]

. . . when you've heard this joke several times before. :ok:

[GAGing in Bahrain]

When you know that a classified advert in the newspaper that reads "Wanted - Driver cum houseboy" is not sexual in any way.:eek:

[Dash7Ace]

..everthing is " maafi koff ":ugh:

[mafemukh]

... when a buddy's Mom is due out on vacation and you wonder if she's available!

[mafemukh]

When that 20-stone female immigration cop is "curvy"!

[robson767300]

When {CHUKRAN} is equal as thank you!!!:eek:

[my hands are tied]

When you don't bat an eyelid when as you approach your destination, the taxi driver asks "if you want back side" :uhoh:

[latetonite]

when one plus one equals "green", or alternatively "wednesday".:suspect:

[axialflow]

Great Stuff...

AND when you see white people who are now actually shades of purple/red/orange during the summer months...summer months??? sorry, I meant throughout the year.

PEACE

Ax

[taiar]

When you give a turn signal to change lanes, instead of the person behind you in the other lane slowing down and making room, they speed up to block you.... :ugh:

When Hump day is no longer Wed. now its Tuesday....

[BYMONEK]

When you cotton on to the above so actually make a point of indicating the wrong way. Gets them every time............

When you return from a 2 day trip and look forward to reading 7 days ( Dubai ) to catch up on current affairs.

Don't actually wait in all day when the delivery man says he'll be there at 2 o'clock.

Say 'whatever' when he rings a week later to say that his van broke down and can he come tomorrow..........at 2 o'clock.

Just put the phone down when it happens a second time but plan on staying up late as he's bound to turn up around ten that night.

Stop offering cups of tea cos they never say yes.

Spend 5 minutes sitting in your car in Europe wondering why no f***er is coming to put petrol in the vehicle.

Get surprised that nobody says in stereo 'morning sir' as you eventually enter the shop to pay.

Suffer mild palputations and start swearing when you convert what you've just paid for petrol into your ME currency

Think how narrow the roads are in Europe

You tell the wife not to hold your hand in the shopping mall

[BIK116_8]

When you think nothing of a car reversing up the Sheikh Zayed Road :ugh:

[loc22550]

When people use their flashing hazard light when it's foggy on the road, and use their red Anti-fog light at night in normal circumstance when the vis is 100km+ to "scare " the guy behind!:ooh:

[desertopsguy]

When you fill your car from practically empty to full and still have change from a 'fiver'

Grumbling that even though the price of oil has more the halved, the price of petrol hasn't :}

[Rivera]

Back home
1. You are surprised with the people's reaction when you blow the horn?
2. You are shocked that the shops are closed at 6 pm on Saturday and nearly the whole day on Sunday.
3.You are wondering why the streets are empty @ 7.
4.You think going home is an expensive holiday.
5.You think the cars are too slow
6.You are surprise you have to have a coin for shopping trolley.
7.You actually have to get out of car, walk a distance, wait and pay for fuel.
8.You go to check the mailbox in shorts in winter.
9. You run out of milk


When in ME
1.your wife leaves you, because you had busy summer, did not matter with whom
2.Your kids are multi-lingual.
3.Your kid comes home with a foreign.
4.You notice all the women are fertile with 3 - 4 kids.
5.You fall in love with the maid.
6.You marry the maid.
7.You find yourself bitter and bitching all the time.
8. rmfirhipgtgjjty

[Saltaire]

This is fun,


When you know what number to press for english without listening

Was that 'take away" or "delivery" ?

Aramex delivered to your house yesterday and then calls for another delivery today not having a clue where you live...

Directions are given by proximity to schools, shops and mosques.

You miss a turn and think " well, maybe next week..." and really mean it.

You look in your mirror before a turn thinking someone might actually try to pass you on the turning side ! :ugh:

Out

[BIK116_8]

When at home the kids ask why there's white men working on the building site?

[sandfrog]

When 30% return on the money invested just doesn't seem enough.:rolleyes:

[pool]

.... when you see men in blue, you hide your cat
.... when you see men with ugly wax styled hair, you hide your daughter
.... when you see men dressed up in white, you hide your son

[axialflow]

...when you stop noticing the arabic subtitles in the movie theatre.

...when you feel something is missing when there aren't any subtitles!!
:ugh:

...when you get used to the blantant scene 'skip', edited by the censors during the movie.

...when you actually start enjoying the irritating/unnecessary wafi ads for 20 mins. before the movie.

You'll NEVER get used to the constant mobile phone-rings from all four corners of the hall!!!! :{

PEACE

Ax

[BladePilot]

When you crave for Arabic Coffee and Dates whilst back home in Dear ol' Blighty:)
When you jump into a 1.6L hire car back home and immediately expect it to perform just like your 5.7L HEMI V8 does on the SZR;)

[desertopsguy]

When, after a night on tiles, you crave falafel sandwiches instead of a curry. :p

[AIRBUS332]

Well done! You must have served your time.

[47q]

When you send your grown up daughter 19 back upstairs at university in europe because she was wearing a mini skirt wich you are considering not descent enough and i'm just a mother

[Sal-e]

When you crave for 'Arabic grills' at 2am.
When you smell shisha at McDonalds.
When you own more perfumes than your wife.
When you start 'seeing' the lady behind the abaya.
When you start imagining your wife in an abaya.
When you stop noticing the call to prayer.
When you know all the national holidays by name.
When you know you'll get a tankful when you say 'kamse dinar, habibi'.
When 32C is a cold snap and everyone can't wait to try out their latest winter fashion.
When 5mm of rain is a flash flood and work is called off.
When shawarma is in your staple diet.
When you start saying 'hala', not hello.
When the suburb 'Gudaibiya' sounds Australian (g'day-beer).

[captjim]

When you say inshalla to scratch your nuts in Egyptian airspace.

[40&80]

1) When you actually watch TV Bahrain news all the way through and then read the Gulf Daily News with some degree of interest..... it is time to go on leave.
2) When you say "Maybe we will forget staff travel hassle this year and stay in Bahrain for our leave.

[journeyman]

-When your new credit card limit (without requesting it) would settle most Third World debt
-When you realise there are no Nissan Sunnys. Only a Nissan un y. Or Nissan Sunn .

[Che Guevara]

When you can't wait to get home, change clothes, rush out and drive aimlessly up and down, back forth, traffic jam to traffic jam for hours on end...every single day and twice on weekends.

[AIM HI]

You Gutty Guys Are All Fired, I dont want to see you in the Middle East

[robson767300]

when you shake your head to say yes!!!!!!!:}:ugh::D

[Bombay HF]

When you think the only place that you can legally smoke on board is in the flight deck.

[BladePilot]

When you've visited every shop in every Mall for the 'nth time;)

When you accept locals in traditional dress skiing down the artificial Ski Dubai slope in the Emirates Mall as 'normal':hmm:

[Rivera]

When Khlass is part of your vocabulary

[ShinjukuHustler]

...when the kids are back home on a visit and ask the grandparents why they don't have a 'botty hose' in the bog...:}

[vaschandi]

...when the kids explain you that a pic is poisonous.

[vaschandi]

...when you think about jumping...

http://www.clipfish.de/video/2504909/dubai/

[Che Guevara]

When you think this is normal or even smartl...

YouTube - Skating on the ring road in Saudi Arabia (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYeWwlXqiqI&feature=related)

It is funny though...

[taiar]

When you consider finding a USA Today News paper a treat. :D
When you know what the phrase ... same same but different means, and hear it 5 times a day if you leave your living quarters.

When the flight attendant asks you if you want a date :eek: ....its not a "date" Ya'll know what I mean. :)

[flightlevelchange]

when you start hanging carpets/rugs on the wall

when you put your jacket on to go inside and take it off to go outside

[jumbocpt]

When news in "special english" sounds at the normal speed.

[zero CRM]

Ha ha good stuff rivera and sal-e,

When you need to drive to cold store which is 100m away from your house.
when you stop differentiating between morning fog and dust storm.
when you feel embarrased for not having a mistress or a girl friend beside having a wife.
when you feel the need to build an extra room in your three bed room house.
when your friends and neighbours start calling you "stingy Ba*ta*d" for washing your car and watering your plants.
when you start enjoying GULF NEWS as a news paper not as a real estate MAG.
when you feel being an old man for going to bed early at 11pm.
when afternoon nap becomes a daily routine.

[robson767300]

when ABRUVEE is a normal word...:uhoh::eek:

[MAXMEDLO]

-When instead of saying thanks it's MASHKOOR BABA.
-When your wife being called mama by people in local markets doesn't irritate you.
-When your piss*d off coz the Pepsi guy didn't show up to get your weekly supply of fizzy.
-When anything you dream of is available for home delivery.
-When you expect buying a simple home appliance guarantees you ending up with 5 Asians "delivering and installing".
-When you think that paying for an original DVD or Play Station game is something of the past.
-When "mobiles" having 2 different prices for warranty or no warranty BABA, then 2 other different prices for cash or credit doesn’t make you wince.
-When you're not expecting to pay for plastic shopping bags at groceries once your back home.
- When you start missing the smell of shisha.

[georgew]

When on Fridays there's loads of bicycle racks outside a mosque---Think about it !:=

[brassplate]

when you feel claustrophobic in a cinema when there's five other viewers.
when you rattle out 'alekum asalaam' like a native replying to jeddah radar's first contact..
when 30C is a cold snap.
when you've grown a full goatie and don't feel like a redneck.
when a clean shave makes you feel ridiculously naked.
when a three day growth goes with suit and tie.
when crossing the road feels like a game of frogger.
when flying to peshawar doesn't feel dangerous at all.
when something's amiss if a day goes by without some sort of bomb attack somewhere close.
when the sheik/king/sultan becomes 'our' sheik/king/sultan in conversations.
when you can sleep in a cab with an indian driving.
when the american/english accent sounds foreign.
when you think arabic sandals are in and timberlands are out.
when you think you're going to die because you forget to replace your empty perfume bottle.
when anti-ice comes on at the teeniest hint of cloud.
when you realise that all women are good for is s...x
when you think part of the maids job description is to flirt with you.
when you start despising plants.
when your friends and family back home think you're a millionaire.

[polarus]

... and when you think a box of tissues (kleenex) on the table at a "fancy" restaurant is normal!!!

or "yes you will get on the flight INSHALLAH":ugh:

[BladePilot]

When you suddenly realise just how much you've spent on Chinese 'takeaways'.. think about it;)

[planesmack]

When you are in your home country for vacation and have to pay sales tax or actually pay an electric bill

[Rivera]

stick to humor please

[MrMachfivepointfive]

The only religion I know of who can take the piss of itself is the cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. (I just joined).
The others?
Expect to be impaled, burned or decapitated.

Remember: Religious people are the nice, forgiving ones.

[BladePilot]

So in an attempt to get back on the thread...

When you head straight for the customer service desk at Sainsbury's back home and ask if they have a pork counter:)

[skipro101]

When do you know you have been in the middle east too long?

1. When the plane touches down.



Ive been over here in Saudi for a month and I'm goin crazy!

[barkingboris]

I think we should have a crack at the tooth fairy,easter bunny and santa claus as they all fall in the same bucket of unbelieveability as religion.

[MAXMEDLO]

Very funny Seaman:D:D:D made me crack.

[nolimitholdem]

Nice to see the Thought Police have been active on this thread. Nice. Very Orwellian. But hey at least no one's offended. Would hate for one religion to be shown less respect than another...cause that sure doesn't happen in the Middle East....:yuk:

[zero CRM]

One of the best thread currenlty active on pprune but as usual some w**k*rs tried to provoke religious hate.well done moderator.:D

[2000GT]

You totally ignore stop signs, speed limit signs and lane divider lines when on leave back in your home country.

[brassplate]

when the turn indicator is a novel addition to the car to make some pretty, orange lights flash,

when all the lanes on the road are there to be used by you...all at once...and it requires too much coordination to use those pretty flashing lights when changing lanes....because i'm trying to hold a baby in one hand and talking on the mobile with the other....and taking an exit three lanes to the right,

when the whole road is there to be used....including the opposite direction,

when english p/a's sound strange on board,

when arabic p/a's stop sounding too loud,

when you start humming along and doing the 'changing-lightbulbs-with-two-hands' dance when one of the 'familiar' arabic songs come on,

[linedriva]

I don't understand! All this sounds standard! Maybe I've been here too long?

Funniest thread for awhile - well done:D:ok:

[concordino]

You have been way too long in the Middle East, when you meddle with other's beliefs and convictions.:}

enough said :rolleyes:

[Wiley]

When you, without giving it even a passing thought, blissfully overtake a police car 20k above the posted speed limit. (You and the 30 cars surrounding/overtaking you.)

When you see a particularly stupid/dangerous/breathtaking action (usually involving rapid switching of at least three lanes with centimetre clearances from surrrounding traffic) on the part of the driver who has just overtaken you at warp factor 5, if you note the car has Abu Dhabi plates, you simply shrug, (because the car has Abu Dhabi plates, which explains everything).


**********

On a similar note, a variation of the following probably applies to many who arrive in the Sandpit from colder climes and (initially) wax lyrical to those poor unfortunates back home about the 365 days a year of 'glorious' sunshine. This one's about Australia, but switch the months by six and much the same applies to the Sandpit.
Diary of a Mount Isa Summer (by a Pom)

August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Mount Isa, Queensland!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat ****. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant **** blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ***** place.


November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to ***** throttle him. **** heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ***** wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ***** arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my **** arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ***** recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and ***** sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the ***** pool. Even the palms can't live in this ***** heat.

November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the stupid ****. **** Mount Isa! What kind of a sick demented ***** idiot would want to live here?

July 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You have to be **** kiddin’ me.

[flying.fantomas]

31.When all of the above, no matter how funny it is, don't make you laugh anymore.

[power ke?]

When you repeat yourself by saying "khalas finished"

[Swear_in_GIN]

When the tradesman turns up to do repairs at the agreed time, and you find your day has been totally disrupted,

You want to get to the Mall 100 metres away, on the other side of the road, and think nothing of allowing for a half hour and/or 10 km drive to get there, because of clever road planning :mad:

You can say "Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Prime Minister and Vice President of the United Arab Emirates, and Ruler of Dubai" without a) Taking a breath, or b) Having to think as you say it...

[The Jolly Roger]

When you wonder if you can drive...just because its raining!!! :uhoh:

[fourgolds]

When you go to the cinema and some Tosser is talking on his phone !!!

[gimmesumvalium]

Probably mentioned already:
Whe you reply 'Inshallah' to an ATC clearance.

[Swear_in_GIN]

When seeing a Police car run a red light, or wander between 2 lanes on Emirates Highway doesn't seem to set a bad example, but just seems normal.

When a truck reverses up the motorway onramp because it took the wrong turn, you no longer stand at the balcony and watch.

Does anyone still have fun reading brochures / signs / advertising on trucks... and picking out the spelling mistakes?

The 5000 Goolon sewer tanker.
The lemousine.
The airconditioning duck company.

Any more?

[DeweyCheatemAndHowe]

Heavy Vehicals Crossing

[alex1987]

When you think honking your horn for the cafeteria or shop guy to take your order and bring yourstuff to your car is normal..

[Tower Ranger]

When you don`t go somewhere because there is no Valet parking and you might have to walk 100 yards!

[Dixons Cider]

when you think its normal to go to a Saloon for a hair cut.
When you go to a vedio shop when you want to hire a movie

[budgetbudgie]

When you start to find some of the Arabic music not too bad!:ouch:

[flyhigh7078]

gimmesumvalium - that was really funny!!

Also -
when you use the "HOT" water tap to bathe most of the year..
when you have 42" TVs in all rooms..
when you throw away furniture every 2 years..
when you "bird watch' women in abaya.. :ugh:

[Tower Ranger]

When even your maid tells you that you are putting on weight and need to drink less!!

When you find a bar where the beer is 23dhs and you tell your friends because it seems so cheap!!

[grizzled]

Ha! You got me chuckling on both.
Re your first comment: She told me exactly that yesterday!
Re your second: Barasti Bar, Happy Hour 5pm to 7pm, 21 AED per pint! Pass it on.

Grizz

[2J&D]

I just have to say that this thread has made me laugh!!

Whilst I live in the UK have just come back from visiting friends who have been in DXB for 10 years....Now I know they are not the only ones who think like you guys do!!!

[Tower Ranger]

When you only eat in the same place three times because thats how many buy one get one free vouchers you have in The Entertainer.

When my maid goes round to Grizzled`s house and tells him how fat I am too!

When the thought of beer at 21Dhs makes you thirsty!!

[Tayar]

Why you all expats complan all the time about bad is middle east? If you dont like there go back to you country and fly there. Proably you cannot get good job in your country and come to middle east to get better job than you cannot get.

you care for nothing but youself. Only want money ad doesn't care about culture and respect for US.

If you didnt like go back to were you come from.

[FlyingCroc]

We just like to cheer up since this part of the World needs some jokes. And yes we are here to fly and make money, make a living pal and provide safe air service for your country. Where would you guys be without us? And there are plenty of you guys in our countries trying to get away from this place. :}

[latetonite]

Cheer up Tayar. This is a democratic forum.

[Panther 88]

The trouble with many of us expats and our "home" countries is that we are so tolerant of others' intolerances. Thanks Tayer for reminding me of that. Have a nice day....:)

[brassplate]

get this once and for all.

we are not here for your

dust
sand
camels
'warm' hospitality (not!)
'excellent' work conditions (not!)
'free' and 'fair' laws (not!)
loud and intrusive calls to prayer 5 times a day
driving practices
beautiful flora and fauna (not!)
natural islands with welcoming women (not!)
women (uggh...not!)
surf (not!)
well maintained aircrafts (not!)
ops departments run by nepotistic mafia types

we are here for ONE thing and ONE thing alone.
get used to it.

[Paradise Lost]

You've been there long enough when you can actually understand Tayar's post!

[Wiley]

If asked to explain the ME management style in ten words, you couldn't go pastIf you didnt like go back to were you come from.Even if it is eleven words.

It's not just the Locals. Long term EKers will remember Larry the Oirshman whose cure-all fixit for any complaint was: "If yer don't foo*en' loike it, oil'll droive yer to the foo*en airport meself!"

[kit330]

paradise- hahaha good one!!!:D:D...tayar- I also agree with u, we're here only for the money but I also agree that if u can't respect the culture and law of the land then the doors are always open for those to leave...don't just bi#*h about it...let those legs do the walking too...

[Tayar]

No you all come back to me baching... Me is not only ony feel so about these issue. Manys Arabs do not like expats coming to middle east and coming. You doesnt do anything about? Why? My englsih cannot be good becuase I arab. You can go back to your country and try working in it with financial crisis like is now...how? You ask why? then tell me?

Middle East is best country in the world to life. That is the reason you comes here in first place. Then why you comes here? Why? You have to respekt culture and our people. Not just come here and think you are the best by saying you expat. Expat is not the best, we is very good people who is hard working and more capable of eveything. Just look around and see what we build in so short years. We have a lot of money and can get all we want. Even you to come here and work for our. You have to be used to it, it will be that way and is not change. Do'nt like it, then went back to your house.

and Wiley, I have 4 words for you...

We Dont Like You...

When you complan all time, when you thinks this is rubish, when you didnt respect the culture, when you thinks your best. So finish your agreement and went back to your country and find better work then middle east if you is not happy here.

[bflyer]

Tayar

Just one question please....do you actually talk to ATC with the same english skill you display on this and other threads..since Tayar means pilot:eek:

Another question....do you work for free?

P.S TAYAR I AM AN ARAB
P.S ICAO level 4.....:eek:

[.air]

My God...Hilarious..

[sisyphos]

Cmon girls, Tayer is such an obvious fake. He is probably one of the bored guys on the 777, most certainly from England. Good one Tayer !:ok:

PS By the way, if it is even you, BORAT, then please continue, we need you here!! :}

[Gulfstreamaviator]

This thread is not designed to bad mouth the UAE, in soem ways it is complementing the way of life.

Those of us who are perpetual expats, enjoy life here, enjoy work, enjoy the ethnic mix.

The "too Long" threads are only humour, and as such must be taken with TWO pinches of salt.

So please lets get back to the thread.

When: driving along the 311 highway in a sand storm, there is a camel in the centre reservation, quite happy and content, trying to eat the sacking covering the new speed limit sign.

the road signs on the gantry ahead relate to the new junction that should be finished soon....but you take the "wrong" turn, and arrive at the destination 1 hour late, when that destination is only on the other side of the road, where the offending sign was.

glf

[flyhigh7078]

... back to original topic..

when this sight isn't startling!! :cool:

Mallu Biker in Karama, Dubai on Flickr - Photo Sharing! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/bombaylives/3062022322/)

[Wiley]

flyhigh7078, I'm assuming you're being particularly clever in posting a Flickr link... 'cos Flickr is blocked for users in Dubai.

Another "you've been too long in the Middle East..." comment?

Oh, and BTW, (an in joke for Dubai residents), Tayer's first name is Alan.

[flyhigh7078]

Oh sorry! I am based in Doha.. its a pic of an indian guy on a Harley wearing this 'sarong' thing which they refer to as mundu.. quite funny:cool:

[Jet II]

flyhigh7078, I'm assuming you're being particularly clever in posting a Flickr link... 'cos Flickr is blocked for users in Dubai.


You have been too long in the ME...... when you always use a VPN ;)

[Miles Gustaph]

You’ve been in the ME too long when….

You expect the vehicle that is passing you and merely a blur due to travelling at high-warp speeds to be either:

A Toyota land cruiser with a driver on a mobile phone, or
A Gems school bus full of kids.

[Andu]

Can we have a poll to guess who (Al - [good one, Wiley]) Tayer really is? As in, what (soooo obviously not a Local) nationality he is?

I can't guess the nationality, (wait a minute... troublemaker... taking the piss... hmmmm... obviously Australian:):):)) but my guess would be a bored to snores with his only one flight a month A3-latey pilot.

[brassplate]

you've been in the ME too long when:

you perfectly know how they speak english, just like tayar.:}

[Apache702]

........when your wife is watching arabic soap...and that you don t bother anymore....:)

[Apache702]

hey jet 2 wich vpn u use , and how much u pay, or can u get it free, send me pm please, if zain or batelco finds out they keep blocking new sites , like the can't bust me .com.....etc....

[Itswindyout]

when:

sex on the beach takes on a whole new meaning.

a gay couple are encouraged to hold hands in public, but a hetrosexual couple may not.

reveiling skirts worn by men are allowed but not by women.

the driver of a car that runs over a dark skinned, darkly dressed persons runs out in a highway is arrested for murder, when the stream of traffic was so heavy any manouver would have killed many more.

the government decrees that no local staff will be dismissed in the economic climate, but ex pats can and will.

dirty cars will be towed away from parking lots.....and destroyed.

a maid who is in a coma, has been fined for overstaying her visa.

<thats only todays paper>

windy

[Wings Of Fury]

When you catch yourself humming an arabic pop song!!

A bit off the topic but I just cant help but share this article in the local paper I saw the other day:

"Casanova Arrested: A man was arrested following a complaint lodged by a female National, who accused him of pretending that he intended to marry her simply to 'get her into bed'. After he had achieved this, however, "he then broke his promise and started avoiding me" said the women, and an investigation is underway.

Can anyone believe this!!! :}

[B-737]

What a clown she is :ugh::ugh::ugh:

[kit330]

itswindy - "the driver of a car that runs over a dark skinned, darkly dressed persons runs out in a highway is arrested for murder, when the stream of traffic was so heavy any manouver would have killed many more.

a maid who is in a coma, has been fined for overstaying her visa."

Is that for real??? man sure gives a new meaning to stupidity...:ugh::ugh::ugh:

[Gulfstreamaviator]

I will try to find the gulf news links, but they are certainly real, the driver was last week, the coma a month or two ago.

There is a classic every day in the local rags.

glf

[superspotter]

When, upon requesting one of McDonalds finest Big Macs, you are presented with the choice-Chicken or beef, chicken or beef:eek:

A chicken Big Mac?? WTF is that all about??!!

[Miles Gustaph]

When the sight of a BMW, in the middle of the road on it's roof is no longer a shocking sight &

When the sight of people taking photos of said crash with their mobile phones doesn't surprise you any more

it's time to go home....

[jet_air]

Cheer up Tayar. This is a democratic forum.

Hee Hee.. I can see where this might lead to !:ok:

[kit330]

tried looking for the F1 race on all sports channel n all I got was camel racing.... and I went hmmm this looks interesting....way tooooo long here...:ugh:

Apache- you're right about the arabic soaps!!! caught the wifey doin that n she says wish it had english subs...oh my...:{

[kotakota]

Bahrain Sports 1 & 2 -Formula 1 live , channel 2 has BBC feed and UK presenters -Brundle etc

[BAOREY]

Try Watch Online tv sports news and entertainment for free at channelsurfing (http://www.channelsurfing.net) for free sports on your computer. just finished watching the GP, lots of Soccer, Rugby, NBA etc.

I only found out about it two days ago and it works fine in AUH.

[Andu]

You're watching the Wimbelton men's finals on local cable TV, and halfway through the fourth set, with the players evenly matched, mid game, the station cuts to a local soccer match - in Arabic.

And you're not even remotely surprised.

(A female friend who is an avid tennis fan rang the channel once when this happened and gave them a right royal earful - which from this particular lady, is something to behold... and believe it or not, they went back to show the rest of the tennis. I kid you not.)

[David.Harmon]

When you stop wearing deodorant and start smelling like the majority of the population here. Like rotten onions!

[Microburst2002]

When you know how to get in a ministry, do all the paperwork and get out in less than an hour, and you knew what each paper was for, and how many stamps and from who were needed, and you know the way to talk to the man in uniform or the man in the office ready answer what your football team is and so skip a very long queue.

When your driving scan becomes 90% to the rear of your car, and only 10% forward.

When you cross the oceanic to India and don't care that you haven't been able to contact Mumbai HF, or even stop trying anymore.

[halas]

When you can communicate with an Indian using hand and head gestures without a word being spoken.

When you know to check under your bags for the detector strip before leaving the baggage collection area at the airport.

To anticipate the Ninja's moves both on the road and in the mall's.

Understanding that "recycling" means "land-fill".

knowing that Solar anything is forbidden.

halas

[geo7E7]

you logon to PPrune ( and straight to the ME section ) the first thing you do after a flight or after waking up from your sleep.......!!!!!:}

[NG_Kaptain]

you logon to PPrune ( and straight to the ME section ) the first thing you do after a flight or after waking up from your sleep.......!!!!!


So True, I hardly ever look at the other forums.

[loc22550]

Excellent Microburst2002. :O
200% correct.

[NG_Kaptain]

When a major airport is closed yet the company still sends the flight out.

[Gulfstreamaviator]

the thread that is:

what is that detector strip, under your bags.

not surprised when a local is driving his car, fastish, with toddler asleep on his shoulder, and no seat belt... wife is in back reading magazine.

the surprise is that he is not actually on his mobile.....

glf

[GBB]

I might be wrong but the detector strip is one of the gadgets custom boys use in UAE to catch you off guard so when you go trough those little gates (similar to the one you see in shops) and you have one or more on your luggage the light is going to go on... :=
Just go to the toilet before leaving the baggage area and remove them, hehe but be sure you check everywhere because they might be hidden well under your bags handle :ugh: