View Full Version : Heather Mills Buys Plane

7th Oct 2008, 23:12
Yes, its true.

Heather Mills has bought a plane




....but she still uses Immac on the other leg.

7th Oct 2008, 23:19
Welcome to 2007

8th Oct 2008, 09:36
...well for a short while she did have some Wings on her back!!....:E

Lon More
8th Oct 2008, 09:50
Paul M has promised never to go down on one knee again

8th Oct 2008, 09:55
Just shows that the financial setlement was WAAAAAY too high.

8th Oct 2008, 11:15
I have nothing against her right leg . . . . . Trouble is, neither does she !!

(Thanks to Peter Cook and the one legged tarzan)

8th Oct 2008, 11:29
If Pegasus is a horse with wings . What do you call a dog with wings?

8th Oct 2008, 11:38
FLIDO I guess?

8th Oct 2008, 12:44
If Pegasus is a horse with wings . What do you call a dog with wings?

Linda McCartney ......

8th Oct 2008, 12:52
Something distinctive I would expect,

Not too environmentally unfriendly.

British of course,

Perhaps getting on a bit,

A One and a Half Strutter ?

8th Oct 2008, 12:55
It's got to be a sesqui-plane...

8th Oct 2008, 12:58
Didn't realise we specialised in retro jokes here!

8th Oct 2008, 13:02
....but she still uses Immac on the other leg.

Ah...the good old Stockport humour there i grew up with for so long.

I see you do the whole trick of calling it Stockport 'Cheshire'...'we're posh...honest!':ok:

8th Oct 2008, 13:23
Would she call that her downwind leg?

8th Oct 2008, 17:02
Having seen her character on TV, it could well be a crosswind leg.

cockney steve
8th Oct 2008, 18:22
took the scouser a while to think it through, but in the end, he told her,"on balance, I think it's best if you hoppit."....shecouldn't foot the bill and hadn't got a leg to stand on....so she took her christmas stocking and stumped off.

A. Le Rhone
8th Oct 2008, 18:29
So what's the range of this aircraft?

If say she wanted to fly to NYC to cry on a talk show, could she do it in one hop or would it be two legs?

8th Oct 2008, 22:37
I'm sorry but I find all these jokes pretty limp.

9th Oct 2008, 09:06
Ah the old ones.

I recall that during the initial break-up between her and Macca she was described as being very unstable.
Being ever helpful, Paul advised that a beer mat under her leg often sorted out the problem :E

cockney steve
9th Oct 2008, 14:10
Paul advised that a beer mat under her leg often sorted out the problem

And that's why she went to the pub and got legless

9th Oct 2008, 20:55
Captain invited her to the flight deck and said 'just grab the stick while I go for a p**s' - and she fell over!

9th Oct 2008, 21:25
So funny these posts have just made me laugh my sock off;)

9th Oct 2008, 21:28
If you have looked at the price of buying a plane from Stanley these days, you can understand why she neede such a big payoff!

9th Oct 2008, 21:33
Surprised to hear she's invested in a flying machine I believe she has rather a penchant for sailing;)

10th Oct 2008, 07:05
What does a woman need all that money for?

She'll only waste it on shoe.

10th Oct 2008, 08:32
on shoe, that is beautiful!

10th Oct 2008, 08:41
Words written by PM in a song to H.

We strolled along the river bank
My heart was all a quiver
I slowly undid her suspender belt
And her leg fell in the river.


10th Oct 2008, 08:57
I'm stumped by all these rude remarks...

10th Oct 2008, 12:57
What do you call a women with only one base leg ??????

10th Oct 2008, 14:15
It's coming to the end of a stressful day, so thank you Mr Grubby for cheering an entire dealing room up.:D

Thought we knew all the HM jokes -- wrong! :ok:

10th Oct 2008, 14:22
PM on hearing the news is expected to return to Court to argue over the settlement.

His lawyer said: "She doesn't have a leg to stand on"


10th Oct 2008, 16:09
I heard that Paul had offered to buy her an ex- Jap
WW2 Baka Bomber. :ok:

10th Oct 2008, 20:19
I thought all girls with only one leg were called Eileen and the ones without legs were called Noleen.

mr fish
10th Oct 2008, 20:25
heather mills is so last year, round our way its all 'lord of the rings' now.
even the guy who works down the chipshop swears he's ELVISH:}

11th Oct 2008, 20:33
Oh really! Hop it! There now follows a repeat of a REAL oldie.

Bloke met a girl with no legs. Finished up taking her out.
End of the evening took her home.
One thing led to another, and sex reared it's head, as it
always does. He was keen and so was she.
He asked her how could they get it together? She said
take me round the back, there's a handy tree I can hang
on to.
They completed operations and he took her home.
The next day he thought he'd pop round to see how she was.
Her Father answered the door and our hero thought "Oh Oh!"
Dad invited him in and they had a great time together.
The young lady came back later and the two of them had a
little chat and the guy said "Your Dad was really great, I can't
figure out why?" and the girl said "Oh that's easily explained,
all the others usually leave me hanging off the tree."

I enjoyed it at the time. :sad:

15th Oct 2008, 10:05
She's an Aeroplane Blonde ............ dyes her hair but she still has a black box :E