View Full Version : Can you stop a retriever retrieving???

Scooby Don't
16th Sep 2008, 18:08
My flat-coated retriever whom, to protect his identity, we shall call Nutbar-Boogerhead, is about 15 months old and possibly a little indulged at times. He's knows who's boss (that'll be the wife...) but when he was about 6 months old he worked out that he's a retriever. Since then, he just hasn't stopped. He could be the proof for the existence of perpetual motion.

At this moment, I'm trying to watch the History Channel and do a bit of interweb browsing but, like every other evening, Nutbar-Boogerhead is bugging me relentlessly to throw either his Wubba (two rubber balls in a canvas cover, with canvas tails) or Mr Feet (a rubber ball with feet but no other anatomical features). If I give in and throw one of his toys, as I usually do since he has a highly convincing facial expression when retrieving, he DOES NOT STOP. If I read a book, he'll come over and drop Mr Feet in my lap, sometimes scoring a direct hit on the painful bits. The laptop can be used to protect those bits, but then he'll drop Mr Feet or the Wubba on my feet or, should I be reclining on the sofa, on my chest. He is relentless. Somehow, the wifely unit is less of a target for his retrieving tyranny.

So, how does one curb the urge to retrieve without preventing its future use on dead ducks???


16th Sep 2008, 18:12
Hey! you just found a solution to the 'ads down the side' syndrome - p*st a large photograph - that pushes the ads way oer and off the screen!
Sorted. :ok:

16th Sep 2008, 18:25
Give him to me, he'll stop harassing you!

Good lord that is one of the cutest pics..... and I took one just like it a few days back!


16th Sep 2008, 18:33
Tie his legs together.....I had a Beagle, she passed 2 1/2 years ago:{
She was the same...Oh, btw my son has TWO Rottweilers, who also like to retrieve things. I wish him luck.

16th Sep 2008, 18:40
Part of your problem is he' still a puppy--energy wise. Therefore it needs to be used. Do you have a field where he can get some good running in--say for 30 mins a day? (the longer the better.) Walks on a lead don't burn the energ the way full out running does for a dog. As a daily ritual, you likely see him calm down more when back inside.

Worked for our standard poodle. At 3 yrs, she still was restless, chewed on things and was relentless with dropping toys in our laps anytime we sat down. The vet & trainer told us that we need to exercise her more, both physically and mentally. From then on, she took her Frisbee to the field where we ran the life right out of her!! Came back a calmer dog and was easier to train too.

Hope this helps. :ok:

16th Sep 2008, 18:54
Cut way back on the available toys in the house. According to Garrison Keillor, adding a raw oyster stuffing to his favorite toy should slow him down a bit as well.

Or just fashion a muzzle out one of your old jock straps, that should put him off retrieving for awhile.

Um... lifting...
16th Sep 2008, 18:56
"Nutbar Boogerhead". Clearly a show dog with a name like that. Should have made up a real alias and not just taken the one from his papers at the kennel club registry... you never know who might get at those.

I have it here: Sire: Baron's Legshagger Boogerhead
Dam: Lady's Almond-Eyed Nutbar

16th Sep 2008, 19:06
I got a good tip too.
Just say 'Bring it here'.
Works for me.

Scooby Don't
16th Sep 2008, 20:17
Nutbar Boogerhead gets as much exercise as is advisable in the UAE during late summer - he's well pooped by the end of a half-hour run at sunset. The old country was better for dog running in every way... Anyhoo, more exercise will be on the cards for winter! Since one wouldn't be allowed to shoot the Sheikh's ducks even if there were such creatures here, we reckon agility classes when the weather cools will do him good. Maybe flyball too.

Flat-coats, just to drive their owners crazy, have a 3-year puppyhood. By the time it's over, they tend to think "it's worked so far, so why change now?" He will continue to be a nutbar... On the plus side, it's 11pm here and he's finally decided to relax for the evening! Well, until I get up to let the cats in...

As for kennel names, he and his littermates are all named after Abba songs. :} The obvious ones were Fernando and (Mamma) Mia. One shiny (yet virtual) penny to the first respondent to guess my boy's Abba name... It could be worse. My mum's old golden cocker spanial was Lochdene Catchphrase, son of Lochdene Mini Cheddar. I might add that Nutbar Boogerhead's full name starts with Can Ch, so unlike the wife he has a certificate of beauty from an impartial observer. I'm going to catch hell for that. :E

I spoke too soon about him relaxing as it happens. Must go - Mr Feet is under the coffee table.:ugh:

Left Coaster
17th Sep 2008, 03:10
Simple answer...he's a Retriever..you can't...ever! I've had em all my life in various colours and if he's a good one, he won't stop. Enjoy it though, they are the best! Cheers!

Scooby Don't
17th Sep 2008, 16:58
Nutbar Boogerhead says "thanks LC, nice post!" He just had a retrieving session in the garden and when he was pooped enough to call it a day, he daintily dropped Mr Feet in the pond to wash off the sand, dirt and slobber, then picked Mr Feet out of the pond and headed inside. And half an hour later, he was ready for more retrieving!

17th Sep 2008, 17:31
Let him go play with boys/girls who like wanking dogs .He will never play with you again :E:E

17th Sep 2008, 20:14
1. Take stick of dynamite and time how far you can throw it.

2. Cut fuze to same length plus a couple of seconds.

3. Light same, then throw. Command "Go fetch, boy".

4. Retire smartly. An umbrella may be useful in protecting you from canine fall-out. In fact I would strongly advise you to f*ck off sharpish!

However, this is unfortunately a one-time final solution.

Scooby Don't
17th Sep 2008, 23:41
So.....one of you didn't read "without preventing its future use on dead ducks" and the other is a sicko..... Not sure where you find these kids, but if I see them I shall consider them expendable.

Howard Hughes
17th Sep 2008, 23:44
I have a 4 1/2 year old retriever who is still as active as a 6 month old. As other posters have said just wear him out, I use a ball chucker when I take the dog for a walk, that way I walk 2-3k, he runs 8-10!:ok:

18th Sep 2008, 00:29
Friends have a dog they found as a tiny abandoned pup in the nearby woods, it was probably only six or seven weeks old and it's brother was already dead alongside it. They've never had a dog before and their three girls wanted to keep it; so they are now dog owners and good on them for rescuing it.

I was asked my opinion on the breed. I couldn't help smiling because I reckoned the tiny skinny thing they held up for me to see was going to turn into a big Lurcher. It did, eighteen months on it's a great big, lovely, silly, over-friendly bouncy one with a tail like a whip, greyhound legs and a huge, wide slobbery grin! She attacks me for affection four or five times every time I visit (anyone who knows lurchers will know what I mean).

Last Friday they got five POL hens for the garden. On Saturday one flew out of the pen over the fence. Scratta the dog suddenly realised she was a lurcher, 'lurched' into action and now they've only got four hens, Oops! \\ :} \\--

Left Coaster
18th Sep 2008, 02:11
Sweet! Mine just hops into the pond/body of water that happens to be handy along with the ball/stick/rag/bone/stuffed toy/whatever she picked up to have me throw and smiles! Then tracks it all inside if we're not fast enough to stop it. :ugh:

18th Sep 2008, 08:56
We have two Golden Retrievers, rescued from Mallorca. Oscar and Charlie now reside in the Surrey Hills and are Wokka Watchers.

Younger brothers and sisters........


Oscar, who is just 4 now.

18th Sep 2008, 11:43
I hope you meant "children who like WALKING dogs":eek:!?????

Windy Militant
18th Sep 2008, 12:45
Yer Doomed! My Mums Mutton Herder was of a nervous disposition when she was adopted so Mummy got her to play ball with people to bring her out of her shell she's turned eleven this year and still demands to play ball. :ugh:


18th Sep 2008, 13:00
just teach him 'SIT - STAY'.!

Lon More
18th Sep 2008, 13:11
Obviously got a badly adjusted personality.

Can easily be corrected by the insertion of a small piece of lead behind the left ear.

Favourite method of insertion is the old service Webley, though modernists tend to go for the H & K solution

18th Sep 2008, 14:23
A bit of a shame that you're so far away Scooby, otherwise you could introduce Nutbar to the Hyperactive Red Hairbrush that is giving FSL Draper grief at the moment.

Both of them tired out in ten minutes and enormous entertainment value as well.

18th Sep 2008, 15:44
Can easily be corrected by the insertion of a small piece of lead behind the left ear.

Oh Lonnie how could you:=

Scooby Don't
18th Sep 2008, 19:56
Asuming fitliker meant "walking" and not "wanking", I take back the sicko comment!

As for Lon More, oh dear oh dear. Quite apart from Webley never having made a revolver which fired ammunition of sufficient velocity to puncture the skull of a boneheaded dog, to even suggest such a thing is downright mean and nasty. The Christmas card list is amended accordingly, and you may one day suffer a near-drowning administered by the licks of a dozen flat-coats.

18th Sep 2008, 21:56
Well Lonnie, that's a pragmatic approach. Also as a plus it will either kill or cure gunshyness.

Bryn the Sheepdog
18th Sep 2008, 22:41
BEagle and LM, I have reported both of you to the RSPCA. :mad: :mad: :mad: