View Full Version : Hadron Collider

16th Sep 2008, 04:35
The kids want a Hadron Collider. I was thinking of making one out of old washing machines but it might be easier to get a kitset.

Anyone know where I can get one, even a second hand one cheap?

16th Sep 2008, 04:40
To expedite things, you might start with a Hampster wheel? :} :eek:

16th Sep 2008, 04:46
You're just being silly.

There'd be hamster bits every where.

16th Sep 2008, 04:52
Or the inversion of life with no bits around anywhere. :}

16th Sep 2008, 04:53
What about a slot car set, inside some drainflo pipe? That way you could watch through the holes.

16th Sep 2008, 05:45
Oh no, Hadron Colliders are so last year, by the time it gets to Xmas all their friends will be looking down at them for getting last year's toys off of eBay.

No, what they need to impress their friends is a new international Linear Electron-Positron Collider (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article4749224.ece). They'll be the envy of the school, let alone their class.

16th Sep 2008, 07:18
What would happen if you had a hadron collider on a conveyor belt which was running at 99.9999999999% of the speed of light?

Dan D'air
16th Sep 2008, 07:28
Simple.It would be going nearly as fast as the aircraft that was already there.

16th Sep 2008, 07:33
Ahh, but if the conveyor belt was going at 0.99999999> the speed of light, the aircraft was pointing the same way and then went to full power - would it move forward? :}

Richard Taylor
16th Sep 2008, 07:44
Don't buy a hamster wheel. You'll just end up going round & rounds in circles, not getting anywhere.

16th Sep 2008, 07:50
Hamster wheel proves pretty ineffective when trying to find Higgs boson particle...
YouTube - Hamster Wheel Gone Wrong (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUN-N0WVOPM)

16th Sep 2008, 09:14
Didn't Blue Peter run a schedule that focussed on a "build your own" Higgs Bosun generator employing toilet roll tubes, a fish tank pump and a Raleigh "Sprint" cycle inner tube?

It is a lack of forsight by the BBC and it's political masters that this educational programme is being withdrawn to the detriment of the quality of our youth.

16th Sep 2008, 09:31
Personally I'm impressed that Hadron built a wall AND a collider. Obviously a man (presumably) of many talents.

Loose rivets
16th Sep 2008, 09:44
There once was a fella called Hadron
Who got all his sums just a tad wrong
When he powered up the ring
The breakers went ping
So they said, That wasn't much good was it Colin?

No Further Requirements
16th Sep 2008, 09:55
I just hope there are no dyslexics working for Hadron.....

Actually, yes I do and I hope they are manning the phones!

16th Sep 2008, 11:54
My guess is it won't be too long before someone will be offeing a Hadron Collider on evilBay...there's always a scam and there's always a scammer!

16th Sep 2008, 12:43
What would happen if you had a hadron collider on a conveyor belt which was running at 99.9999999999% of the speed of light?It would appear to disappear.

rhythm method
16th Sep 2008, 14:59
If you do go ahead with the homebuilt Hardon Collider, don't forget to budget for a few tubes of polyfilla, as you are certain to need to fill in the odd black hole.

And also be very careful when you drop in those wee things that are going to go whizzing around... you could easily lose a finger. Have you seen the statistics about accidents in the home?

16th Sep 2008, 15:33
Have you seen the statistics about accidents in the home? An appropriate warning from someone with the name "rhythm method".... :}

rhythm method
16th Sep 2008, 15:36
I am currently using aforementioned technique to supply Wenger with a future team (If I remember right... you are one of us! :ok:)

19th Sep 2008, 17:23
I loved "Frankie Boyle's comments on Mock The Week last night,
he said "Why waste 12 billion building a Hadron Collider, if you want to see something whizzing round at a million miles per hour come to my house and look at my f*cking gas meter!:)

19th Sep 2008, 20:17
Funny you should bring that up again.........

Faulty transformer downs Large Hadron Collider - ZDNet.co.uk (http://news.zdnet.co.uk/emergingtech/0,1000000183,39490057,00.htm)

20th Sep 2008, 17:11
I'm alright.

I've frequently got huge and very rigid hadron. :)

Must be a side effect of being dislecstic....diselskickle......gettin my mords wuddled.

20th Sep 2008, 17:18
Don't you mean mixing your toeses?

20th Sep 2008, 17:23
Wot you rabbitin on about?

20th Sep 2008, 18:14
Webcam of the Hadron Collider now online.
lhc (http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html)

9th Feb 2009, 23:02
The Large Hadron Collider could be switched back on in September - a year after it shut down due to a malfunction and several months later than expected.
BBC NEWS | Science & Environment | Hadron Collider relaunch delayed (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7880223.stm)

9th Feb 2009, 23:20
The Large Hadron Collider could be switched back on in September

Oh, even better than on the other thread, we now have all the way until September instead of June before the world ends. :p

10th Feb 2009, 02:00
One of my family member is a physicist there (at the CERN)
His answer to jokes or concerns about Switzerland being sucked up into a giant crater when they will turn the Hadron Collider on:

" If anyone want to see the effect of a black hole...They just have to go to Wall Street"


cockney steve
10th Feb 2009, 20:26
RM said If you do go ahead with the homebuilt Hardon Collider,

Would the result be akin to banging "it" against a brick wall? :\

17th Nov 2009, 19:03
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) could restart as early as this weekend after more than a year of repairs:-
BBC NEWS | Science & Environment | LHC nears restart after repairs (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8364964.stm)

tony draper
17th Nov 2009, 19:12
One thing is a cert,if they do get a successful run out of it and all sorts of weird unknown particles and effects are discovered,they will say,
"we need a bigger machine to investigate these new phenomenon"

Juliet Sierra Papa
17th Nov 2009, 19:27
You shouldn't experiment with a home built jobby, you might end up kissing your own ring goodbye.

JSP :uhoh:

17th Nov 2009, 19:32
Why couldn't they just have waited until 2012 to restart the damn thing. This way if things really went awry we'd have something to blame "the end" on and not just the Mayans!!!! Or was it the Aztecs? Or Nostradamus?

17th Nov 2009, 20:03
Who's going to volunteer to stumble in there in a drunken haze, waving a ticket for the London Underground?

tony draper
17th Nov 2009, 22:45
If you think swine this flu is bad just wait until the large hadron flu gets out.:uhoh:

Pugilistic Animus
17th Nov 2009, 23:49
I wonder what my buddy who'll be working with that baby thinks? ;)

and if you win a Nobel give one to me:}

18th Nov 2009, 01:06
They went at it too ambitiously. They really should have started by colliding small hadrons to get some experience.

18th Nov 2009, 01:34
So what sizes do Hadrons come in:confused:

Desert Diner
18th Nov 2009, 06:33
Sounds like a bunch of quark to me.

Rather be Gardening
18th Nov 2009, 07:26
We should just send in some of our Elf & Safetee wonks. I can just see what would happen:

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Planning to collide your Hadrons, were you? Where's their safety helmets? Where's the 'Do Not Collide When Holding Scissors' sign? And if you think I'm signing your certificate with those unprotected cuckoo clocks all over the shop, you can think again. Switch it off!"

18th Nov 2009, 07:28
We should just send in some of our Elf & Safetee wonks

Switzerland, mate; it'd have to be gnome and safety.


Rather be Gardening
21st Nov 2009, 07:44
During the experiment, scientists will search for signs of the Higgs boson, a sub-atomic particle that is crucial to our current understanding of physics. Although it is predicted to exist, scientists have never found it. (BBC News)

Quick, you lot! Turn out your pockets; if we can find any of those Higgs boson thingies before they do, we can save the world.

I can think of a few other things predicted to exist, but never found, including a full-stop at the end of John Prescott's sentences.

21st Nov 2009, 12:20
a full-stop at the end of John Prescott's sentences.

I believe that often comes in a form akin to Victor Borge's 'phonetic spelling'. except it is 'physical spelling' in the form of a clenched fist.

21st Nov 2009, 14:26
A left jab I suppose.

21st Nov 2009, 15:11
needed now in today's economy with so many people jabless. (It's true, it was on the telly)

21st Nov 2009, 15:23
I'll have to hook at that again Charles.