Computers explained

[flysundun]

Well, maybe it should be in JB but here goes,

Dr Suess Explains Computers

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the macrocode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM....
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

[Skycop]

Flys, Excellent stuff!
My 10 year old son had a habit of causing computer glitches which I was able to fix. One day he came to me in the next room and said:
"Dad, Dad, there's something wrong with the computer again".
"I'm busy, go back and re-boot it and let me know if it still doesn't work".
5 mins later, "It's no good, Dad, it's still got smoke coming out the back!"
And there was!

[InFinRetirement]

Here is another computer poem.

A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean,
An ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend,
And gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment.
A programme was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was just a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a 3 inch floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you applied to a boil,
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped in public,
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a razor.
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home,
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pen and paper,
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were DEAD.


:)


[This message has been edited by InFinRetirement (edited 27 November 1999).]

[squeakmail]

Skycop...has nobody warned you about those smoke filled electronic components???

They are fitted inside EVERY electronic appliance. The rules are quite simple - indeed, there is only one rule.

"Keep the smoke INSIDE the component"

I guarantee that if you let the smoke out of any one of those components it will cease to work properly.

Sorry this advice is too late for you - perhaps it will help others.

------------------
LIVE in peace...or REST in it!

[gaunty]

Brilliant guys hope you dont mind me posting these on out bulletin board at work.
You should post them on JB at least

[This message has been edited by gaunty (edited 28 November 1999).]