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gizmocat
10th Sep 2008, 23:08
To be sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody - dedicated to those of you
who like your curry and your Rhapsody.......;)


Is this a Bhuna?
Or is this a Jalfrezi?
Mixed up my order,
They all look the same to me
Open your gob,
Just swallow a forkful and see.
I'm just a student,
Need something real cheap to eat
Because I'm stoney broke
Not a bean
Don't remember
The menu I've seen

Korma, Saag or Madras
Doesn't really matter to me
To me...

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to cr*p it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, Curry on,
'cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

I see a little chicken tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh pass the chutney made of mango.

Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicey
ME!

Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan
O Vindaloooooooo
(No no no no no non o no no No)

I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory
Stand well back
This loo is quarantined.

Here it comes,
There it goes, technicolor yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
Up again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again

This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!

So you think you can chunder and think it's alright?
So you think you can eat curry and drink all night?

Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just had to come out, Just had to come right out in here....

Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan or bhaji
Nothing makes a difference to me
To me
Anyway my wind blows

(Bests
Giz)

Ripline
11th Sep 2008, 09:08
Brilliant......just brilliant!

Ripline

The SSK
11th Sep 2008, 09:24
You could try Thr William Patel Overture by the Mrs Ackroyd Band
(Poppadom poppadom poppadom pom pom)

Or Chapatiwocky by Peter Cole

'Twas Balti and the Saag Aloo
Did Murgh Makhani Rhogan Josh
All Methi were the Vindaloos
And the Madras Tok Gosht.

Beware the Pathia my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch.
Beware the Tandoori and shun
the Chicken Hasnabad.

He took his Handi Prawn in hand,
Long time the Mughlai foe he sought,
So rested he by the Thali tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in Pilau Rice he stood
The Pathia with eyes of flame
Came Shashlik through Tandoori Trout
And Rasam as it came.

One, two! One, two! And through and through!
The Sobji Cakes went Chicken Chat.
He left it dead and with its head
He went Pakora back.

And hast thou slain the Pathia?
Come to my arms my Bhaji boy!
Peshwari Naan, kheema, korma
Niramish in his joy.

'Twas Balti and the Saag Aloo
Did Murgh Makhani Rhogan Josh
All Methi were the Vindaloos
And the Madras Tok Gosht.

unclenelli
11th Sep 2008, 17:31
BARLINNIE RHAPSODY
(Barlinnie is a Glasgow Prison
Sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen))


Is this the real life
Is it the methodone?
Stuck in Maryhill
Two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine
an' talk wi' a whine
Like me.
Iím just a wee bairn,
Gie us yer Sunny D.
Cos I'll chib yer pal,
Rip yer Da;
Slash yer dug,
Ride yer ma!
Any way the Clyde flows (Disnae really matter)
Tae me... tae me.

Haw Maw,
Just chibbed some c*nt,
Buckie bottle tae the heid,
Noo the f*ckin' [email protected][email protected]'s deid!

Haw Maw,
Um just oan parole,
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee...
Haw Maw,
Ooh oohooh ooh,
Never meant tae steal yer purse,
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'
Carry oot, carry oot!
An we'll go oot oan the batter!

Too late, the bailiff's here,
Sends shivers doon ma spine,
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time.

Goodbye all ma muckers,
I've got tae go,
Got tae go and rip some c*nt fae up the scheme.
Haw Maw,
Ooh oohooh ooh
I'm a jakey bam,
I sometimes think I've never been washed at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a bairn,
Adidas! Adidas!
Can ye get us a kergo?
Thunderbird, White Lightning, very very frightning to me!

Twenty Mayfair,
(Twenty mayfair),
Twenty Mayfair and some skins,
Magnifico!
(Oh oh oh oh!)
I'm just a dole boy,
Nae c*nt loves me,
He's just a dole boy
Fae a dole family!
Spare us a pound fur a wee cup o tea?
Get tae f*ck,
Skanky slob,
Will ye get a job?
Forf*cksake, No!
I will no' get a job! - Get a job!
Forf*cksake,
I will no' get a job! - Get a job!
Forf*cksake,
Will you get a job? - Get a job!
Will no' get a job, get a job!
Will no' get a job, get a job!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Oh gonorrhoea!
Gonorrhoea!
Gonorrhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub,
Has the barman put aside for me?
For me,
For meeeee!?

So you 'hink you can slash me and pish in my eye?
So ye 'hink ye can chib me an' leave me to die?
Haw bawbag,
Can't dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I'm oot,
Just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!

F*ck all really matters,
Any c*nt can see,
F*ck all really matters,
F*ck all really matters to me!
Any way the Clyde flows...

dazdaz
11th Sep 2008, 18:28
I find the above posts most childish, why 'praise' a culinary meal, that brings the next day so much (bowl associated) discomfort? Your all culinary pervs if you ask me.

Why can't you all be decent chaps and eat a sensible Korma. I know, I know it's the case of who can pi:mad:ss the highest. But in better circles (I'm sure most of you are working class) this is just not done.

It's no wonder why pilots 'avoid' reading Neanderthal threads on JB.

Daz