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ZFT
6th Sep 2008, 03:13
Sitting in my hotel room the other night and noticing the ‘intimacy kit’ in the mini bar I got to wondering why these are always packs of 3.
So why 3?

CityofFlight
6th Sep 2008, 03:22
Perhaps it's due to the occasional faulty valve stem? :}

Dan D'air
6th Sep 2008, 03:31
One for as soon as you get to the room, one for after dinner and a few drinks and one for sleepy, morning sex before you have to check out...........it's simple really.

CityofFlight
6th Sep 2008, 03:39
What a perfect world, DD. ;)

Loose rivets
6th Sep 2008, 04:14
What the heck are you lot talking about? Is it something to do with the things the barber sold in the 50s? 'Something for the weekend Sir?'

I never knew what he meant. Weekend? ****, how the heck do other folk manage for the other five days.?:E

Howard Hughes
6th Sep 2008, 04:15
I hope the leave more than one '3 pack' in the room...:E

CityofFlight
6th Sep 2008, 04:21
HH...They don't call that button on the hotel phone, "Hospitality" for nothing! :p

Howard Hughes
6th Sep 2008, 04:32
"Hospitality"?
"Send up another three pack"!
"Size"?
"Why 'Oh my god size' of course"...:E

Loose rivets
6th Sep 2008, 04:37
"Hospitality"?
"Send up another three pack"!
"Size"?

They make different sizes? Oh. :(

asiaseen
6th Sep 2008, 05:33
They make different sizes? Oh. http://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/sowee.gifYep, and don't buy Japanese brand names unless you are below average for a westerner.

or like a tight fit...

B747-800
6th Sep 2008, 08:37
2 in the evening before sleeping:ok:, 1 in the morning to get this hard thing soft again:ok:! If you are not good for this 3 times:=, you are getting old and should turn in your license!:ok::p:D

gingernut
6th Sep 2008, 09:50
In Germany, they come in packs of 4, one for each week of the month.


In France, they come in packs of 7, one for each day of the week.


In Italy, they come in packs of 24, one for each hour of the day.


In Wigan, thay also come in packs of 24, one for each giro fortnight of the year.:}

selfloadingcargo
6th Sep 2008, 13:13
They also come in packs of 12. This is the 'Married Man' pack size...


...one for January, one for February, one for March....

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
6th Sep 2008, 13:53
On a related note, when I was a kid I saw a box of fifty tampons. I quickly did the arithmetic and thought "that's more than four year's supply!"

merlinxx
6th Sep 2008, 15:31
Not if yer gums bleed!

jetset lady
6th Sep 2008, 15:47
I always thought it was 1 for his birthday, 1 for christmas and a spare in case you break one of the others getting it out.

Jsl

FakePilot
6th Sep 2008, 16:09
It works everytime. Hold up the box of the biggest and ask the cute girl at the counter if they have anything bigger.

Saab Dastard
6th Sep 2008, 16:33
On a related note, when I was a kid I saw a box of fifty tampons. I quickly did the arithmetic and thought "that's more than four year's supply!"

Not for gay men it's not! :}

SD

Binoculars
6th Sep 2008, 16:34
Should I be the one to make an oblique reference to a possible online relationship between a recently available female and ...whoops..... maybe I shouldn't be.

Always remember the mortgage. :uhoh:

angels
6th Sep 2008, 17:10
Saab!! - :yuk:

:}

Geezers of Nazareth
6th Sep 2008, 18:10
Quote:
"Hospitality"?
"Send up another three pack"!
"Size"?
They make different sizes? Oh. http://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/sowee.gif



It's a little known fact that around the base of each one there is a code number, so that if you have any problems with the product (no!, not that kind of problem) you can report back to the manufacturers and they can investigate.

What do you mean, you've never unrolled one fully!?!

G-CPTN
6th Sep 2008, 18:23
A couple of inches beyond the code number there's a letter code - but it's in French . . .

Beatriz Fontana
6th Sep 2008, 23:35
Written in French???!!!!

Methinks there's something Christian about it. Pack of three - the Trinity (whose name is called upon most during the throws of passion?). Pack of 12, the Disciples. Pack of 24? The advent calendar...

OK, I know, it's been a long day ;)

G-CPTN
6th Sep 2008, 23:54
Well someone told me that they were French letters . . .

CityofFlight
7th Sep 2008, 00:21
Oh, for Pete's sake!! If folks who didn't want to be pregnant just used the convenient methods, we wouldn't have to have a discussion about those strange party balloons found in the mini bar!! :eek:

Until then...this is funny material! :D :p

G-CPTN
7th Sep 2008, 00:27
Do you mean use an aspirin?


(the aspirin is to be held between the lady's knees.)

Not infallible. :E

Overdrive
7th Sep 2008, 05:19
They make different sizes? Oh. http://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/sowee.gif



Yep... small, medium & liar.

henry crun
7th Sep 2008, 05:48
One day a man knocked on a door and explained to the lady who answered that he was doing research on behalf of a well known condom manufacturer, and would she mind answering a few questions.

"Fire away", said she.

After several fairly basic questions about age, how long married, how many children, number of times per week etc, he asked her what type of contraceptive they used.

"I alway insist on using the biscuit tin method" she replied, to which the researcher asked for an explantion because he hadn't heard of that method before.

"Well" said she, "our preferred position is standing up, and because he is a lot shorter than I am, he stands on a biscuit tin. Then when I see the hairs rise on the back of his neck I kick the biscuit tin away".

ZFT
7th Sep 2008, 08:03
Interesting replies, but still no one has uncovered a realistic reason for standard packs of 3 as opposed to 2 or 4.

Can’t be anything to do with marriage as the shelf life of the last 2 would expire before use.

Disagree with B747-800 as all good aviation people have a back up so within his scenario 4 would be the minimum.

For teenagers (in the 60s) 3 were too many and you daren’t take the unused them home in case Mum found them!!

For clandestine relationships, time usually doesn’t allow for full pack usage and à la teenagers, you daren’t keep the excess.

The only scenario that meets with 3 is a FFM ménage à trois, although in these days of caution, 2 packs are probably required so again why 3?

asiaseen
7th Sep 2008, 11:09
the convenient methods

The glass of water technique...

Not before

Not during

Not after

But instead of.

Note; the glass must NOT contain alcohol which is a causative, not a preventative.

Dan D'air
7th Sep 2008, 11:18
Interesting replies, but still no one has uncovered a realistic reason for standard packs of 3 as opposed to 2 or 4.

It's because of the box size, 2 would rattle and 4 would't fit, so 3 it is.

Capot
7th Sep 2008, 12:39
I've used 20 or so hotels this year, in UK and Europe, not counting B&Bs.

Never once has an Intimacy Pack been among the shampoos, gels and soaps.

Now I work within a tightish budget, but not that tight, so I guess I tend to 4-star priced as 3-star, sold by the excellent website I use at around 50% of the rack rate.

So what kind of hotel puts these items out? I can guess, but perhaps some of those who have seen them can clarify their choices? Please?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
7th Sep 2008, 15:32
They just knew there wasn't any point putting them out for you :E

farsouth
7th Sep 2008, 15:39
Only ever found one hotel that didn't have a Gideon's Bible in the bedside drawer, in Praia, Cape Verde Islands, - but it did have a (free) "Intimacy Pack"............

G-CPTN
7th Sep 2008, 17:13
I thought it was bubble-gum.

Blows big bubbles BTW . . .

S'land
7th Sep 2008, 17:35
I thought it was bubble-gum.

Blows big bubbles BTW . . .

And is VERY chewey.

NRU74
7th Sep 2008, 17:45
Capot - shouldn't you be Capote [as in Anglaise] on this topic ?

G-CPTN
7th Sep 2008, 17:51
Capôt?
During a fourth-form French comprehension test (where the pupil describes in French what they can see in a picture), a classmate, faced with a gendarme (wearing a black kepi) said "Il porte sur sa tête un capeau noir."
The distortion of chapeau to capeau (capôt) was not lost on our French mistress, who shared the gaff with us.

Nearly fifty years ago, during a school trip to Heidelberg, first evening in the Café Milano, one of our party goes to the toilet and returns with a small round tin marked 'Gummi' that he has extracted from a slot-machine.
He asks (innocently) whether anyone would like chewing gum. Elsie says yes, but declines after she has opened the tin . . .
Such machines didn't exist (then) in England - nor the cigarette machines in the streets . . .

Beatriz Fontana
7th Sep 2008, 19:25
Same as magpies according to a pal of mine....

One for sorrow - couldn't really get started, two for joy - worked that time, three for a girl - wha hey!, and four for a boy.... because just as you're getting the hang of it, you've run out...!

Apparently :\

NRU74
7th Sep 2008, 19:26
I remember [at the risk of thread drift] being u/s in Istres forty years ago and a potentially unpleasant incident arose [concerning Monique and Marianne, the two resident ladies of the nuit and one of our NCOs] in the Bar de la Gare which was defused by the [commissioned] Signaller who told an anti-English joke in quite appalling french.In English it went .....

Madame and her little boy were in the park and he wanted a wee wee, and went behind the bushes.He returned and told maman that behind the bushes there were two naked dead people, one lying on top of the other. Madame went to look , and the boy was right, so she called the Park Keeper. He confirmed this and sent for the gendarme. He cordoned the area off and sent for Monsieur l'Inspecteur. After the Inspecteur examined the scene he returned and reassured everyone that the couple were not dead, but merely English making Love.

Situation defused immediatement !

MagnusP
11th Sep 2008, 09:59
G-CPTN wrote:
Do you mean use an aspirin?


(the aspirin is to be held between the lady's knees.)


Alternatively, the man can place the aspirin in his shoe. It'll make him limp.

waldopepper42
11th Sep 2008, 15:04
NRU..

Some years ago a slightly different version of that joke was circulated around the office (in Paris). The only change was that it was just the woman who was described as dead, as she was not moving during lovemaking.

The thing that made me laugh was the instant reply from one of our English women:


"What did you expect? She was sh***ing a Frenchman!"

p.s. Jetsetlady:

"I always thought it was 1 for his birthday, 1 for christmas and a spare in case you break one of the others getting it out. "

ROFLMAO!!!!

Was I once married to you.....? :}

Jimmy Macintosh
11th Sep 2008, 18:53
They come in three packs to make every man remember that great achievement where he needed every one of them in one encounter. Never repeated but forever re-lived.

Rossian
11th Sep 2008, 22:52
Once in down-town Halifax for Valentine's night as we went into various bars and clubs we were handed kits complete with condoms,needle safe storage and - "dental dams" (CW instructions on how to "ream" safely and hygenically). Quite put me off my drink as I read it.
The Ancient Mariner

PS I must have had a sheltered upbringing

B747-800
15th Sep 2008, 04:54
In-room sex kits a hot seller at The Water Club (http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D935DH1G0.htm)

Fareastdriver
15th Sep 2008, 16:36
For those who query whether they come in different sizes here are two products made by the same company. On the left are Chinese passion killers and on the right are the UK ones.
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee224/fareastdriver/scan0003-1.jpg
4mm makes a difference.

larssnowpharter
15th Sep 2008, 16:50
For teenagers (in the 60s) 3 were too many and you daren’t take the unused them home in case Mum found them!

That bought back memories!

Back in the 60s me mum found the single one I kept in the back pocket of me jeans more in hope than expectation.

'Joined the Boy Scouts?' she said dangling it before me.

'Errrrrr'. I replied

'Motto. 'Be prepared', she responded with a smile.

One stays occasinally in a 'short time' hotel near Manila Airport: cheap, safe and comfortable and near the airport. Fine for 5 hrs between flights. There is always a pack of three. One cannot comment on size. However, the room is rented by each '3 hours' so one supposes the going rate is one an hour.

just a working theory!

Overdrive
15th Sep 2008, 16:54
For those who query whether they come in different sizes here are two products made by the same company.



I wish "mine" was 52mm wide. Or even 56mm wide.








(then I'd have a greater choice of women into which it would fit)

G-CPTN
15th Sep 2008, 16:56
"Well buggah me!" (not really) but, like Rossian I too must have lead a sheltered life as I had no idea about the use of a dental dam (or, indeed, what they were) in sexual activity until I Googooed it . . .

larssnowpharter
15th Sep 2008, 17:51
Neither did I.

Thought it were something like 'flossing'.

Overdrive
15th Sep 2008, 19:21
Thought it were something like 'flossing'.



...which sounds something like "felching". Look that one up to broaden your understanding (but do it after yer dinner :yuk:)