View Full Version : Tasteless Gary Glitter Jokes

23rd Aug 2008, 16:31
Gary Glitter tried to kill himself by jumping in the sea before he left the far east - he was fished out by a fisherman who found him bobbing up and down on a buoy.

Standard Noise
23rd Aug 2008, 16:54
Apparently it's illegal to wear clothes on the wrong part of the body in certain countries. Look at Gary Glitter, he got three years and all he did was put a little thai on his cock.

23rd Aug 2008, 17:03
When does Garry go to bed?

....When the big hand touches the little hand.

23rd Aug 2008, 17:05
Where does Garry go on his holidays?

....Florida - to Tampa with the kids

23rd Aug 2008, 17:33
He's got a new release date.............................

She's only 10,but looks older with make-up.

23rd Aug 2008, 20:26
What did the police say to Gary Glitter on his arrival in the UK?

'Ello 'Ello, good to be back?

Little Blue
23rd Aug 2008, 20:31
Breaking news........
Police have rearrested Gary Glitter. After a search of his house,
they found class A drugs in his kitchen, class B drugs in his front room
and class 5C in his bedroom.

23rd Aug 2008, 20:42
Is that duty free?

23rd Aug 2008, 20:45
Gary Glitter goes into a bar and orders a pint of John Smiths. The barman says, "Sorry, sir, I'm afraid I can't serve you that."

Gary Glitter asks, "Why?"

The barman replies, "Because it's a no nonces bitter."

23rd Aug 2008, 20:45
According to a new EU regulation concerning Christmas decorations due to be implemented very shortly, it will be illegal to place tinsel on any trees this year.

You will however, still be allowed to hang Glitter.

23rd Aug 2008, 20:47
Remains of five children have been found in the search of a children's home in Jersey. However, police say there is unlikely to be a murder inquiry because it's impossible to date the remains.

Gary Glitter says he's willing to give it a go.

23rd Aug 2008, 22:33
Q. Whats 2 foot high and found at the bottom of little girls beds?

a. Gary Glitters boots

Q. What sparkles like a diamond and is small enough to fit in a
schoolgirl's ring?
A. Gary Glitter.

Q. What's the difference between greyhound racing and Gary Glitter?
A. The greyhounds wait for the hare.

Q. What is the worst thing about being Gary Glitter?
A. You have to go to bed before seven.

Gary Glitter is sitting in his living room surfing the internet on his
laptop. All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and his
girlfriend storms through.

"You @sshole!" she screams and heads into the bedroom.

Stunned, Gary flips off the computer and walks toward the bedroom
wondering, "Now what have I done?"

Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a suitcase. He
asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that
I should leave you and that you're a paedophile!"

Gary responds, "Wow, you're quite smart for an 10 year old."

Gary Glitter and his girlfriend are in Blockbuster to hire a video for the evening. Mr. Glitter's girlfriend asks him what he wants to watch. he says
"How about we get Aladdin ?". His girlfriend says........
"Can't we just get a video, you're in enough trouble already."

If all the Smarties eaten worldwide in one year were laid end to end...
They would lead all the way to Gary Glitter's house in Thailand

Shocked by the news that Jade Goody has cancer, Gary Glitter has sent an emotional message to her on his release from prison.
Dear Jade,
So sorry to hear your bad news.
If you ever need a babysitter....

23rd Aug 2008, 23:08
Gary Glitter was on a ship with 100 boy scouts and 100 girl guides, when it hit an iceberg and started to sink.

'We're sinking' the captain announced.
'Abandon ship'.

'What about the children?' asked Gary

'**** the children' replied the captain

'Do we have time?'

Little Blue
24th Aug 2008, 00:24
Gary Glitter has requested that after his death, his ashes
are to be put into an Etch-A-Sketch so that kids can still
fiddle with his knob !

24th Aug 2008, 04:14
All that glitters is not....old?

24th Aug 2008, 05:38
Whats long, silver, sits at the bottom of the bed and scares children?

Gary Glitter's boots.


Gary Glitter was on a ship with 100 boy scouts and 100 girl guides when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Gary Glitter asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "[email protected] the children!"
Gary Glitter looked around eagerly and said "Do we have time?"


What do Gary Glitter and a Kodak camera have in common?

They both come in small yellow boxes.


I've just got a new voice activated car stereo.

When I shout "Country" it plays Dolly Parton
When I shout "Heavy Metal" it plays Metallica

I was driving through town the other day and some little shit ran out in front of me.

I shouted "******* Kids!!" and it played Gary Glitter.


Why do Gary Glitter's trousers look small on him?

There not his.


Offiicals have discovered the real reason Gary Glitter would not get on the plane to the UK.

The 737 was a 1990 model, and he refuses to ride anything older than 10.


26th Aug 2008, 11:13
Gary Glitter has got a date for his release.

She's 12 but looks 14 with makeup on !

26th Aug 2008, 12:23
Phew! Let's have a rest now. The tears of laughter are streaming down my face and my ribs are sore. :rolleyes:

26th Aug 2008, 20:47
I heard Gary Glitter's pulling out of children in need...

26th Aug 2008, 22:12
Not for the PC among us......

http://www.sickipedia.org/search.php?q=gary+glitter (http://www.sickipedia.org/search.php?q=gary+glitter)

Health Warning, IF EASILY OFFENDED, do not blame me......