fo4ever
20th Aug 2008, 13:28
> This is a home course that can be practiced at home for all those who
> aspire to become "long haul" Pilots.
>
> For those aspiring to become "ultra long haul" Pilots, increase the
> time prescribed below by at least 60%!!!!
>
>
>
> Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for
> the romance and adventure of long-haul flying.
>
> It will all come to you if you practice the following at home:
>
> 1. Stay out of bed all night
>
> 2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten
> hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.
>
> 3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but
> within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a
> vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.
>
> 4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a
> bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for tw or three
> hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.
>
> 5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.
>
> 6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your
> spouse to slam the door frequently.
>
> 7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to
> stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes,
> transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort.Don't
> forget to wear your hat.
>
> 8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on
> your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and 'rain' for twenty
> minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.
>
> 9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag.
> Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves,
> simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room.
>
> 10. When your spouse inquires, 'Just what in the hell have you been
> doing?' just say, 'Recalling the allure of all night flying to
> romantic places.' as you collapse into bed.
>
> 11. If you are a purist, do this two nights in a row.
>
>
> 12. To make this "flight' more realistic find a stranger with gas,
> body odour ,who you dislike, is boring and keeps falling asleep to be
> your Captain.
> aspire to become "long haul" Pilots.
>
> For those aspiring to become "ultra long haul" Pilots, increase the
> time prescribed below by at least 60%!!!!
>
>
>
> Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for
> the romance and adventure of long-haul flying.
>
> It will all come to you if you practice the following at home:
>
> 1. Stay out of bed all night
>
> 2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten
> hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.
>
> 3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but
> within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a
> vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.
>
> 4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a
> bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for tw or three
> hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.
>
> 5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.
>
> 6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your
> spouse to slam the door frequently.
>
> 7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to
> stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes,
> transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort.Don't
> forget to wear your hat.
>
> 8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on
> your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and 'rain' for twenty
> minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.
>
> 9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag.
> Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves,
> simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room.
>
> 10. When your spouse inquires, 'Just what in the hell have you been
> doing?' just say, 'Recalling the allure of all night flying to
> romantic places.' as you collapse into bed.
>
> 11. If you are a purist, do this two nights in a row.
>
>
> 12. To make this "flight' more realistic find a stranger with gas,
> body odour ,who you dislike, is boring and keeps falling asleep to be
> your Captain.