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Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 10:07
There was a young lady from Norway.....

[Improv - next line please]

Capot
10th Aug 2008, 10:18
Whose beaver got away while in Morlaix.....

tony draper
10th Aug 2008, 10:43
Who never bothered with foreplay.

Fantome
10th Aug 2008, 11:26
Who never bothered with foreplay.

Until one day up a fiord

Capot
10th Aug 2008, 11:34
Who never bothered with foreplay.

Until one day up a fiord

She met up with our Gord

sprocket
10th Aug 2008, 11:44
Who never bothered with foreplay.

Until one day up a fiord

She met up with our Gord

And said hmmm he'd do well up my hallway!

Fantome
10th Aug 2008, 12:04
In the garden of Eden lay Adam

Wavey Gravey
10th Aug 2008, 12:11
who had eyes on a particular madam

Fantome
10th Aug 2008, 12:23
and loud was his mirth

woollcott
10th Aug 2008, 12:46
When she mounted his girth

Fantome
10th Aug 2008, 12:56
for even though he'd never heard of a limerick or how they scan he did know

that on earth there were only two balls and he 'ad 'em.

10DowningSt
10th Aug 2008, 14:02
In the garden of Eden lay Adam
who had eyes on a particular madam
and loud was his mirth
When she mounted his girth
Saying li'illah il Hamd ya Mu'allam

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 14:17
There was an old feller from Chiswick......

frostbite
10th Aug 2008, 14:25
Who liked to go 'on the sick'

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 14:37
There was an old feller from Chiswick......
Who liked to go 'on the sick'
The man had no "pluck"

Lon More
10th Aug 2008, 14:47
or very much luck

Hobo
10th Aug 2008, 15:24
With his Underground, busking type, music.

Hobo
10th Aug 2008, 15:28
When aroused, I go bright shiny red,

CUNIM
10th Aug 2008, 15:35
from my feet to the top of my head

treadigraph
10th Aug 2008, 15:51
I start to vibrate

CUNIM
10th Aug 2008, 16:09
Which isn't that great

as I always fall out of bed

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 16:15
Young Faultenroy was an unhappy banker......

Saab Dastard
10th Aug 2008, 16:24
Young F was an unhappy banker,

His sorrows he drowned in The Anchor

CUNIM
10th Aug 2008, 16:31
He'd drink lots of brandy

until he felt randy

Saab Dastard
10th Aug 2008, 16:42
While tipping the barmaid to thank 'er!

CUNIM
10th Aug 2008, 16:45
SD I was doing almost the same line!!

next challenge

There was a young maid from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch:}

goudie
10th Aug 2008, 16:46
There was a young lady from Barrow
Who strayed from the straight and narrow


oops cross posts

JEMAVION
10th Aug 2008, 16:48
Till she start to fellate

JEMAVION
10th Aug 2008, 16:55
There was a young man from Australia

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 16:58
Hang on Jemavion - we're Jack-knifing a bit.

Let's go:

There was a young lady from Barrow
Who strayed from the straight and narrow
Till she start to fellate
And wantonly berate.....

frostbite
10th Aug 2008, 17:07
There was a young lady from Barrow
Who strayed from the straight and narrow
Till she start to fellate
And wantonly berate.....
Any man stood holding his marrow

frostbite
10th Aug 2008, 17:09
There was a young girl from Stranraer

GobonaStick
10th Aug 2008, 17:11
Who was shagging a Jock in his caer

JEMAVION
10th Aug 2008, 17:15
There was a young girl from Stranraer
Who was shagging a jock in his car
When the gear handle slipped


Sorry about the previous slip

handbag
10th Aug 2008, 17:44
he busted his lip

Hobo
10th Aug 2008, 18:05
Whence he busted his lip,
And the young girl said 'Ha, f###ing ha!'

(need an extra syllable in there Hb)


Whilst painting my guttering white,......

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 18:17
Whilst painting my guttering white.
I was found in a terrible plight...


[nobody has gone for Nantucket yet - marvellous restraint PPRUNERs]

goudie
10th Aug 2008, 18:40
Whilst painting my guttering white.
I was found in a terrible plight...
The ladder had slipped
And my trousers were ripped

Rossian
10th Aug 2008, 18:48
...And my socks got covered in s%%te

This used to keep me amused on the long drives from Kinloss to St Mawgan on the old A9,

There was a young lass from Kinbuck
Who.............

Bus429
10th Aug 2008, 19:51
Whose ambition was to drive a big truck

Bus429
10th Aug 2008, 19:54
So she found an instructor

Scooby Don't
10th Aug 2008, 19:58
This one comes from I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake.
A man in a punt
Stuck an oar up her nose
And said you can't swim in there, it's dangerous

So, in that spirit....

There was a young lass from Kinbuck
Who was known to love a hard.......walk
A young man from Regina
Liked to lick her iced lolly
Which made her quack like a duck!

Scooby Don't
10th Aug 2008, 20:01
But keeping up with the thread.......

There was a young lass from Kinbuck
Whose ambition was to drive a big truck.
So she found an instructor
Who said he'd induct here.....

Bus429
10th Aug 2008, 20:02
She said "I can't pay you but I'm sure you're in luck"

Strelnikov
10th Aug 2008, 20:13
A classic - marvellous marvellous - four star effort from the "I'm Sorry I haven't a clue" team started with:

"I once had a trial with Bill Shankly"

Rather be Gardening
10th Aug 2008, 21:21
An utter disaster, quite frankly,

Arm out the window
10th Aug 2008, 22:11
I once had a trial with Bill Shankly
An utter disaster, quite frankly,
when he said "Kick this ball,"

vapilot2004
10th Aug 2008, 22:43
"Over there, towards the tall..."

Arm out the window
11th Aug 2008, 00:47
I once had a trial with Bill Shankly
An utter disaster, quite frankly,
when he said "Kick this ball,"
"Over there, towards the tall..."
"...tree," I did; he just looked at me blankly.

vapilot2004
11th Aug 2008, 02:20
I once had a trial with Bill Shankly
An utter disaster, quite frankly,
when he said "Kick this ball,"
"Over there, towards the tall..."
"toff by the Rolls", then he thanked me.

n5296s
11th Aug 2008, 05:18
There was a young man from St Bees
Who was once badly stung by a wasp
When asked does it hurt
He replied, no it doesn't
But I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet

goudie
11th Aug 2008, 09:13
A girl who once lived in Reading
Cried 'I need a jolly good bedding'

selfloadingcargo
11th Aug 2008, 09:16
I once had a trial with Bill Shankly -
At the end he just looked at me blankly.
Said: "You're no Roger Hunt,
In fact, I'll be blunt,
You're absolute rubbish, quite frankly!"

radeng
11th Aug 2008, 09:44
A girl who once lived in Reading
Cried 'I need a jolly good bedding'
Her mother said 'Rose'

treadigraph
11th Aug 2008, 09:45
A girl who once lived in Reading
Cried 'I need a jolly good bedding'
She dropped down on all fours

CUNIM
11th Aug 2008, 11:06
While removing her drawers

Scooby Don't
11th Aug 2008, 11:16
And ceased to warrant a white wedding

603DX
11th Aug 2008, 11:45
A plump theologian at Kings
Had no use for women and things
Nor for those of male gender
Nor for anyone slender
His passion was fried chicken wings


(Sorry, not rude or in spirit of thread - picks up dropped brick and slowly leaves .....)

CUNIM
11th Aug 2008, 11:47
There was a young maid from Caerphilly

treadigraph
11th Aug 2008, 11:51
There was a young maid from Caerphilly
Said "I know I'm dreadfully silly"

frostbite
11th Aug 2008, 11:55
There was a young maid from Caerphilly
Said "I know I'm dreadfully silly"
Since I never say No

Rather be Gardening
11th Aug 2008, 12:30
My tum's started to grow

CUNIM
11th Aug 2008, 12:47
and its all the fault of that Willy - Naughty boy:\

goudie
11th Aug 2008, 12:59
There was a young lad from Leeds
Who had desparately urgent needs

Cap'n Arrr
11th Aug 2008, 13:06
There was a young lad from Leeds
Who had desparately urgent needs
But the mens room was closed

Fantome
11th Aug 2008, 13:31
and the stress that imposed

gave rise to Onan like deeds



An arty old fart from Australia
Painted his arse like a dahlia
The tinting was fine
with an accurate line
But the smell of the bloom was a failure


The ship's dog's name was Big Balls
But no one knows why he was called that
There was nothing remarkable
About the size of his knackers
And the name was offensive and gratuitous

(Parody of THE GOOD SHIP VENUS by Patrick Cook and John Clarke)

Cap'n Arrr
12th Aug 2008, 07:38
There was an old man from New York

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 08:17
There was an old man from New York
Who was very reluctant to talk
About a certain young lady
Who seemed rather shady
And did very rude things with his pork

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 08:21
There once was a very rough pub

Rather be Gardening
12th Aug 2008, 09:06
Served live cockroaches in with their grub,

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 09:47
The punters weren't keen
On this type of protein

sprocket
12th Aug 2008, 09:55
There once was a very rough pub
Served live cockroaches in with their grub,
The punters weren't keen
On this type of protein
so the 'roaches left, for a nicer type pub.

Cap'n Arrr
12th Aug 2008, 10:02
There was (another!) old man from New York
Who tried to board a plane with a fork
At the checkpoint he got
Caught and nearly shot
Said "F**k it, next time I'll walk!"

Fantome
12th Aug 2008, 10:10
There once was a very rough pub
Served cockroaches live with their grub
The punters weren't keen
On this type of protein
But for Mortein that hole they'd scrub

Fantome
12th Aug 2008, 10:21
While Titian was mixing rose madder
His model perched high on a ladder
Her position to Titian
Suggested fruition
So he mounted the ladder and had her.


A farmer's young maid from Aberystwyth
Took grain to the mill to get grist with,
The miller's son Jack
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.

capewrath
12th Aug 2008, 10:42
There was a young man from Scone (pr. Scoon)
Who was born 6 months too soon
He hadn't the luck
To be got from a F**k,
but a t*ss off shoved up with a spoon! :{

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 10:50
There was an old man from Newcastle
Who was sometimes a bit of a rascal

frostbite
12th Aug 2008, 11:54
He fixed girls with a stare

Rather be Gardening
12th Aug 2008, 12:19
As he waved his Fly Bear,

treadigraph
12th Aug 2008, 12:50
Saying "have you seen mon ami, Pascal?"

radeng
12th Aug 2008, 14:39
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished that he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That he end of the rubber was torn

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 14:50
I once knew a nurse
Who was terribly terse

frostbite
12th Aug 2008, 14:56
Her technique with an enema

vapilot2004
12th Aug 2008, 15:05
could make your innards burst

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 15:12
But her bedbaths were wonderful
As she bathed a big handful

modtinbasher
12th Aug 2008, 15:19
There was a young plumber from Lee,
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea,
Said she, someone's coming,
The plumber, still plumbing
says, you got good hearing love
It's me!

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 15:35
I once knew a girl
She liked a bit of a whirl
And had all us lads
One by one
But she became a cropper
When she took on a whopper
And now she's become a Nun

Scooby Don't
12th Aug 2008, 15:46
My dog licks his knackers all day.
He won't stop, whatever I say.
He'd like to lick the face
Of the entire human race,
But he doesn't use mouthwash. Oi vey!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3241/2355470423_0037c915d6.jpg?v=0

And here is the offending chap! :ok:

frostbite
12th Aug 2008, 17:10
The great and the good from Liverpool

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 17:25
The great and the good from Liverpool
Try not to be 'orrible as a rule
To the poor bleeding peasants
Who've never ate pheasant
But have had to make do with gruel

goudie
12th Aug 2008, 17:52
I've got a brother called Bruce

Rather be Gardening
12th Aug 2008, 18:13
Dresses only in lilac and puce,

treadigraph
12th Aug 2008, 18:48
His socks are lime green

frostbite
12th Aug 2008, 20:10
But he's never been seen

selfloadingcargo
12th Aug 2008, 20:22
With girls...well, don't be obtuse!

treadigraph
12th Aug 2008, 21:25
While bathing with a sheep and a goat

TURIN
12th Aug 2008, 22:45
While bathing with a sheep and a goat
The loofah got caught in me 'froat
I was cleaning me tonsils
but should 'ave used Ronseal
And now I can deepthroat a stoat! :ouch:

Scooby Don't
13th Aug 2008, 02:44
And let's start another one.....

What a Scotsman wears unders his kilt

Richo77
13th Aug 2008, 03:40
What a Scotsman wears under his kilt,
should encompass how he is "built"

Fantome
13th Aug 2008, 05:54
What a Scotsman wears beneath his kilt

Should encompass how he's built.

If however nothing's worn,

Tackle's free from night to morn ;

And guaged y'see by his kilt's tilt.




Sexologist Sue was a marvel,

Steeped in researches archival.

And such was her bent

It invariably meant

The flow of her juices were laval.

Richo77
13th Aug 2008, 05:59
There was a young Nympho Called Jill,
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vag1na in North Carolina
and bits of her t1ts in Brasil.

Cap'n Arrr
13th Aug 2008, 06:28
There was once a man called Sven

Richo77
13th Aug 2008, 06:49
There was once a man called Sven,
Who had a thingie shaped like a pen,

treadigraph
13th Aug 2008, 07:31
With a flick of his wrist

Scooby Don't
13th Aug 2008, 08:38
There was once a man called Sven,
Who had a thingie shaped like a pen.
With a flick of his wrist
And a squeeze and a twist,
His man juice defaced Big Ben.

goudie
13th Aug 2008, 08:44
I have a gay friend called Roger

Cap'n Arrr
13th Aug 2008, 09:26
I have a gay friend called Roger
Who is a notorious tax dodger

OwnNav
13th Aug 2008, 11:00
I have a gay friend called Roger
Who is a notorious tax dodger
His bogus returns

goudie
13th Aug 2008, 11:04
I have a gay friend called Roger
Who is a notorious tax dodger
His bogus returns
Have raised some concerns

selfloadingcargo
13th Aug 2008, 11:14
I have a gay friend called Roger
Who is a notorious tax dodger
His bogus returns
Have raised some concerns
As has what he does with his todger

vapilot2004
13th Aug 2008, 13:11
I once loved a gal from Calcutta

selfloadingcargo
13th Aug 2008, 13:15
I once loved a gal from Calcutta
Whose eyes set my heart all a-flutter

goudie
13th Aug 2008, 13:55
I once loved a gal from Calcutta
Whose eyes set my heart all a-flutter
She was a total nutter
For the Kama Sutra

treadigraph
13th Aug 2008, 14:00
And did things that triggered my stutter

goudie
13th Aug 2008, 15:22
When girls in pyjamas

Capot
13th Aug 2008, 15:27
Give head to the llamas

goudie
13th Aug 2008, 15:52
When girls in pyjamas
Give head to the llamas
They're breaking the law in Peru

Bus429
13th Aug 2008, 16:58
A busy young man known as Hurd
Was fed up with Microsoft Word


(OK, I know I should only start with one line but...)

Scooby Don't
13th Aug 2008, 17:23
A busy young man known as Hurd
Was fed up with Microsoft Word.
He control-alt-deleted,
And felt quite defeated
When the blue screen of death occurred.

Bus429
14th Aug 2008, 05:16
...and that is very close to the truth!

A reporter while watching a plane
Was hit on the head by the same

Cap'n Arrr
14th Aug 2008, 06:45
A reporter while watching a plane
Was hit on the head by the same
Incensed by this outrage
He wrote up a front page

goudie
14th Aug 2008, 11:07
A reporter while watching a plane
Was hit on the head by the same
Incensed by this outrage
He wrote up a front page
Saying he would never
Fly BA again

goudie
14th Aug 2008, 11:09
A young girl was having a snooze

selfloadingcargo
14th Aug 2008, 11:26
A young girl was having a snooze
on deck, whilst taking a cruise

Bus429
14th Aug 2008, 11:49
A young girl was having a snooze
On deck, whilst taking a cruise
Said Seaman Staines as he passed her



(from earlier)
A reporter while watching a plane
Was hit on the head by the same
He mused (while a bit shaken):
"I wonder if any movie was taken,
It's surely my passport to fame!"

(did happen about 30 years ago).

goudie
14th Aug 2008, 12:27
A young girl was having a snooze
On deck, whilst taking a cruise
Said Seaman Staines as he passed her
Now if I can just muster

Cap'n Arrr
14th Aug 2008, 12:34
A young girl was having a snooze
On deck, whilst taking a cruise
Said Seaman Staines as he passed her
Now if I can just muster
Some Rohypnol to put in her booze


not sure how PC that last line is :confused:

Rather be Gardening
14th Aug 2008, 14:07
When checking an MP's expenses,

goudie
14th Aug 2008, 14:12
When checking an MP's expenses
Some items may appear senseless

frostbite
14th Aug 2008, 14:26
When checking an MP's expenses
Some items may appear senseless
While others produce

Bus429
14th Aug 2008, 16:42
When checking an MP's expenses
Some items may appear senseless
While others produce
Others seduce

Arm out the window
14th Aug 2008, 22:12
When checking an MP's expenses
Some items may appear senseless
While others produce
Others seduce
the poor taxpayer, who's just defenceless.

Arm out the window
14th Aug 2008, 22:15
A green young policeman called Andy

goudie
14th Aug 2008, 22:25
A green young policeman called Andy
Arrested a hooker called Mandy

obgraham
14th Aug 2008, 22:30
A green young policeman called Andy
Arrested a hooker called Mandy

When he looked down her front

HOVIS
14th Aug 2008, 23:25
A green young policeman called Andy
Arrested a hooker called Mandy
When he looked down her front

He gave a satisfied grunt






Well what did you expect?:=

Arm out the window
15th Aug 2008, 00:25
A green young policeman called Andy
Arrested a hooker called Mandy
When he looked down her front
He gave a satisfied grunt
and then ran off to have a stiff brandy.

Arm out the window
15th Aug 2008, 04:29
A gymnast named Ivan was vaulting

Bus429
15th Aug 2008, 05:17
A gymnast named Ivan was vaulting
But his technique the judges were faulting

Hobo
15th Aug 2008, 05:40
Too big was the horse,

goudie
15th Aug 2008, 06:58
So he had to recourse

Bus429
15th Aug 2008, 09:51
A gymnast named Ivan was vaulting
But his technique the judges were faulting
Too big was the horse
So he had to recourse
To using the pole, he's pole-vaulting!

Cap'n Arrr
15th Aug 2008, 11:20
A short man went into a bar

goudie
15th Aug 2008, 12:37
A short man went into a bar
Looking slightly bizarre

Bus429
15th Aug 2008, 13:03
A short man went into a bar
Looking slightly bizarre
He spoke with a lisp:

Rather be Gardening
15th Aug 2008, 14:45
Sprayed the bar with chewed crisp,

goudie
15th Aug 2008, 16:18
Drank up and said 'ta ta'

frostbite
15th Aug 2008, 16:58
A clumsy old man from the Rhondda

moosp
15th Aug 2008, 17:13
Said "Dearest I really do wonder,"





.

goudie
15th Aug 2008, 18:23
'During sex, last night
Were we doing it right'?

Hobo
15th Aug 2008, 19:50
Like the dogs in the park over yonder.

----------------

The chairman of East Sussex Hunt,

CUNIM
15th Aug 2008, 19:52
was plotting a cunning stunt

Arm out the window
16th Aug 2008, 00:59
with the aid of a rock,

Cap'n Arrr
16th Aug 2008, 03:32
Stuffed into his sock

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 09:39
Hit a protester
Who was having a rant

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 09:41
He thought he was God's gift to women

ThreadBaron
16th Aug 2008, 11:11
As he played on his bagpipes, 'McCrimmon'.

frostbite
16th Aug 2008, 11:54
But his Chanter went floppy

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 14:09
When his missus got stroppy
'Cos he'd been doin' women
Tha' he should nae' done

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 18:17
A young man was having a beer

treadigraph
16th Aug 2008, 18:59
A young man was having a beer
Just one of many I fear

frostbite
16th Aug 2008, 19:56
A young man was having a beer
Just one of many I fear
As the girls gasped in shock

vapilot2004
16th Aug 2008, 20:01
and below they did gawk

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 20:06
He dropped his trousers
And showed them his rear

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 20:12
My girlfriend just loves Debussey

Capot
16th Aug 2008, 20:50
and plays it while stroking her pewssy

frostbite
16th Aug 2008, 21:51
But gets carried away

goudie
16th Aug 2008, 21:56
And often does it all day

obgraham
16th Aug 2008, 22:08
Leaving the carpet all messy.

Hobo
17th Aug 2008, 05:07
I have thirty two hens, and a duck,

Arm out the window
17th Aug 2008, 05:19
and I'm trying to teach them to suck

ThreadBaron
17th Aug 2008, 05:32
the yolk from their eggs,
but the question that begs
is 'Who gives a large flying f*ck?'


I'll try something once, maybe twice

Arm out the window
17th Aug 2008, 06:38
except filling my undies with lice

Cap'n Arrr
17th Aug 2008, 07:59
It'd tickle for sure

goudie
17th Aug 2008, 08:07
But would be a poor
Substitute for something nice

Hobo
17th Aug 2008, 08:32
This thread is becoming a farce,




(not a comment....your next first line!)

vapilot2004
17th Aug 2008, 08:41
Said Sven to his old buddy Lars

Bus429
17th Aug 2008, 08:50
And then Lars said to Henrick

goudie
17th Aug 2008, 09:53
I think Sven is lovesick

treadigraph
17th Aug 2008, 10:49
And his barnet is getting quite sparse

Bus429
17th Aug 2008, 12:26
A saucy old pilot from Bude (I kn ow what the next line'll be!)

treadigraph
17th Aug 2008, 12:37
Liked fresh mayonnaise on his food :}

goudie
17th Aug 2008, 12:53
He used mayonnaise elswhere
Whenever he dare

selfloadingcargo
17th Aug 2008, 14:10
A saucy old pilot from Bude
Liked fresh mayonnaise on his food
He used mayonnaise elswhere
Whenever he dare
Sorry, no details - it's rude

frostbite
17th Aug 2008, 14:30
Next door to a lassie from Clare

selfloadingcargo
17th Aug 2008, 17:28
Next door to a lassie from Clare
Lived a bear, a hare and a mare,

Scooby Don't
17th Aug 2008, 17:40
Next door to a lassie from Clare
Lived a bear, a hare and a mare.
She enroled in culinary college,
Which gave her lots of knowledge,
Then she ate them which just wasn't fair.

goudie
17th Aug 2008, 18:57
My girlfriend constantly bickers

lazy george
17th Aug 2008, 19:06
When she catches me wearing her knickers

obgraham
17th Aug 2008, 19:12
My girlfriend constantly bickers
When she catches me wearing her knickers

Although she is edgy
I just like the wedgie

Arm out the window
17th Aug 2008, 21:14
My girlfriend constantly bickers
When she catches me wearing her knickers
Although she is edgy
I just like the wedgie
and after she licks mine, I lick hers!

goudie
17th Aug 2008, 21:34
There once was a buxom barmaid

treadigraph
17th Aug 2008, 22:10
Who kept pulling pints through an air raid

Arm out the window
17th Aug 2008, 22:48
the explosive concussion
kept the flow of beer rushin'
and blew the ends clean off her hair braid.

Cap'n Arrr
18th Aug 2008, 12:15
There was once a forum called PPrune

:E

goudie
18th Aug 2008, 12:23
Which to many was quite a boon

treadigraph
18th Aug 2008, 12:25
But Jetblast could get

Hobo
18th Aug 2008, 13:58
Too serious, yet

frostbite
18th Aug 2008, 14:35
You could always count on some loon

Bus429
18th Aug 2008, 14:37
Let's get to the next limerick, soon!

frostbite
18th Aug 2008, 14:38
Whenever I feel like some fun

Bus429
18th Aug 2008, 14:39
A saucy old pilot from Bude
Did all his best flying while nude
His loops were just dashing
Half rolls and bunts - just smashing!
And his post-flight performance - quite lewd.

goudie
18th Aug 2008, 16:42
Whenever I feel like some fun
I call up my friend, Alison

treadigraph
18th Aug 2008, 17:15
She's nicely endowed

goudie
18th Aug 2008, 17:28
So I'm glad I'm allowed

treadigraph
18th Aug 2008, 17:34
To carefully uncoil her bun

Bus429
18th Aug 2008, 19:02
A maintenance engineer known as Shane

goudie
18th Aug 2008, 19:31
Felt his sexual prowess on the wane

frostbite
18th Aug 2008, 19:51
He considered a splint

treadigraph
18th Aug 2008, 21:34
Hewn out of flint

Arm out the window
18th Aug 2008, 21:35
but the steel of his zipper caused flame.

frostbite
18th Aug 2008, 21:44
Feeling randy one night, as you do

Richo77
19th Aug 2008, 00:22
i looked for a lady, or two

vapilot2004
19th Aug 2008, 04:40
tried the usual places

obgraham
19th Aug 2008, 05:46
And all of the races

And single handedly, too.

Richo77
19th Aug 2008, 06:29
There was a young Farmer call Martin

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 06:57
Whose tractor had trouble startin'

treadigraph
19th Aug 2008, 07:07
He got down on all fours
While looking for flaws

Arm out the window
19th Aug 2008, 07:24
and passed out, cos' he'd just drunk a carton.

Akrotiri bad boy
19th Aug 2008, 09:27
There was a man from Seaton Carew
Who went to sea in his one man canoe
......

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 09:51
He said 'sod it, I'm lost
But I don't give a toss'

VitaminGee
19th Aug 2008, 10:41
Therafter he made sure he flew.

treadigraph
19th Aug 2008, 11:58
While flying around in a Zlin
I inadvertently entered a spin

frostbite
19th Aug 2008, 12:03
I corrected, of course

VitaminGee
19th Aug 2008, 12:30
Just as my instructor, called Morse,

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 12:42
Cried, what the f**k d'ya
think you're doin'.

VitaminGee
19th Aug 2008, 12:59
While hitchiking through southertn France,
I happened upon, quite by chance,

smuff2000
19th Aug 2008, 13:08
a lady most fair

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 13:55
Who had thick curly hair

frostbite
19th Aug 2008, 14:44
With most of it attached to her chins

treadigraph
19th Aug 2008, 14:50
Whilst travelling through County Cork

VitaminGee
19th Aug 2008, 14:57
I met a farmer brandishing a fork,

frostbite
19th Aug 2008, 17:02
He said not a word but gave a sly grin

Hobo
19th Aug 2008, 17:44
As he wiped clean his chin,
And thought 'now, this is better than work'.

---------------------------

It pays not to rile P-Prune Mods,

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 18:18
Whilst drinking a pint of bitter

Strelnikov
19th Aug 2008, 19:18
Whilst drinking a pint of bitter
And spinning some Gary Glitter

vapilot2004
19th Aug 2008, 20:37
I thought back to the time

treadigraph
19th Aug 2008, 21:59
Rock and Roll seemed sublime

Fantome
19th Aug 2008, 22:12
So distant from this 'ere bed-sitter.




A lawyer accomplished in torts

goudie
19th Aug 2008, 22:25
Had some cunningly clever thoughts

oopspff7
19th Aug 2008, 23:03
Although I love you dearly
One thing does't make me grieve
T'is the fact you've got a growler
Just like a wizards sleeve.


[email protected] olde Scouser valentine poems Ltd.:ok:

vapilot2004
19th Aug 2008, 23:34
A lawyer accomplished in torts
Had some cunningly clever thoughts

During the last court proceedings

Hobo
20th Aug 2008, 05:52
While the jury was feeding (s),
On ham that was covered in warts.

----------------------

(now, where was I..)

It pays to not rile P-prune mods,

Bus429
20th Aug 2008, 06:10
You could be banned; what are the odds?

Richo77
20th Aug 2008, 06:23
It pays to not rile P-prune mods,
You could be banned; what are the odds?,
You may think you're witty,

treadigraph
20th Aug 2008, 06:34
It pays to not rile P-prune mods,
You could be banned; what are the odds?,
You may think you're witty,
As you make up your ditty

Hobo
20th Aug 2008, 06:49
It pays to not rile P-prune mods,
You could be banned; what are the odds?,
You may think you're witty,
As you make up your ditty
But will they think you've been crude? - The s*ds!

-------------------------------

On Friday, I'm off for a swim,

treadigraph
20th Aug 2008, 07:00
I'll unfurl my flippers and fin

Cap'n Arrr
20th Aug 2008, 08:04
After my swim I will go

Bus429
20th Aug 2008, 08:09
For another, off Westward Ho!