your favourite old timers rules of thumb?

[droop_snoot]

how about sharing some of those old tried and true rules that we could all benefit from???

flying ones that is....
good on ya...

[Whirlygig]

Happiness is a two-inch TAF!

Cheers

Whirls

[youngskywalker]

I'm sure not all Welshmen would agree, but I guess size doesnt matter :\

[ShyTorque]

Two inch TAFS can say "240/10 CAVOK". :ok:

But also "VRB 0200 FG" :{

"Yukky day", as they say in Wales.

[Whirlygig]

But along with "VRB 0200 FG" will be a whole host of other info (w/v e.g.) making the TAF nearly three inches and then it ain't happiness!

Cheers

Whirls

[Heli Teli]

I thought happiness was a cigar called Hamlet???:D

[oldpinger]

Don't fly if you can't fit your thumb over the TAF!!

[heliski22]

"Old men love to give good advice when no longer able to give bad example!"

Applies right across the board, believe me!!:)

22

[topendtorque]

whattsa TAF?

[VTA]

You only ever have too much fuel when you're on fire!!

[heliski22]

"Better to be on the ground wishing you were flying than to be in the air wishing you were on the ground!"

22 :)

[Faffner shim]

Typical
Australian
F'ickness

[MK10]

If the angle of dangle,exceeds the norm,

The urge is constant.

(P of F)

[SASless]

Always "Chicken" out early!


Always go with a girl with small hands......it makes yer Willy look bigger.

[Pandalet]

If you're sitting in a helicopter with the rotors turning and the engine(s) running, and the captain is no longer in the cockpit, you probably shouldn't be either.

Flying in worsening conditions is a lot like sex: once you've started, it's really hard to stop, and unless you're incredibly lucky, afterwards you'll wish you pulled out early.

[Whirlygig]

Shame Hogg didn't take that advice!!

Cheers

Whirls



For those not acquainted with Hogg! (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LfvqdIPJVsk)

[Fortyodd2]

Airspeed is life ~ Altitude is life insurance.

Experience is something you get just after you needed it.

[heliski22]

The three great lies in life......

1. "The cheque is in the post!"

2. "I love you too!"

3. "Hi, I'm from Head Office, I'm here to help!"

[heliski22]

On that note, SASless.....

"No matter how many times you shake your peg, the last wee drop runs down your leg!"

[heliski22]

It's been a slow day, wouldn't you know......

“If bull**** was music, those f*****s could dance all night!”

“If brains were dynamite, that boy wouldn't blow his nose!”

“If arseholes could fly, this place would be a bloody airport!”

[Whirlygig]

Never fly the 'A' model of anything.

Never fly anything that could involve your ar$e being used as the undercarriage (a good one from a friend!)

And, being sensible here for a mo

Hot to cold, don't be bold (wrt to temperature)

High to low, watch out below (wrt to pressure).

Cheers

Whirls



You bored HS22??

[sycamore]

`Go ugly early`

[before landing check list]

In the UH1H/205 1 inch of TQ is about 400lbs of payload.

[heliski22]

Wouldn't go quite THAT far, young lady, but the thread did prompt me to go trawling through a few bits I'd stashed away!

I thought of Uncle Ian when I saw this. I'm sure it applies equally to large bodies corporate and individuals alike........

“A person in a position of leadership who cannot change his mind is a dangerous person – Nelson Mandela 1993”

And then this one - just to throw a stone into the water and watch the ripples.......:)

"When the white man discovered America, it was run by the Indians. There were no taxes, there was no debt and the women did all the work. And the white man thought he could improve on this?!"

[Ships Cat]

"Never fly in the same cockpit as someone braver than yourself."

"If there's any doubt, there's no doubt."

[heliski22]

On a more serious note, from an older and wiser aviator than I....

"Don't rush your pre-flight preparation - you can run away from the aircraft but always walk to it!"

[Darren999]

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs.... You don't fully understand the situation :ok:

When in danger or in doubt.. run about scream and shout.... :D

[jemax]

Theres no such thing as luck, just the convergence of preparation and opportunity

[heliski22]

Covers a multitude, does this........

The Worker's Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darling plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

[John Eacott]

Credit to Dave "Malarky Jim" Mallock, RN A1 beefer from a few years ago:

"Go the way you're pointing, and Point the way you're going" :ok:

ISTR there was a similar thread a few years ago, here (http://www.pprune.org/forums/rotorheads/105022-best-sayings-5.html) ;)

[Max Contingency]

Never get airborne without a duck and a cat in the Nav Bag.

In the event of an instrument failure when IMC, nail the cat to the instrument panel (a cat will always keep its head level) and then use this as an artificial horizon while you follow the duck (who will always let down over water).


Animal rights activists may wish to use bluetak rather than nails ;)

[Agaricus bisporus]

Never wear blue shoes with a brown suit,


and


At 100hrs a pilot thinks he knows it all.

At 500hrs a pilot knows he knows it all.

At 5000hrs a pilot knows he'll never know it all.


and, surprisingly absent so far, the oldest one of the lot;



There are Old pilots.
There are Bold pilots.
But there are very few Old, Bold pilots.

[helipilot5]

The only thing that scares me about flying is the drive to the airport:)

[ShyTorque]

There are Old pilots.
There are Bold pilots.
But there are very few Old, Bold pilots.

Not too bad, only 34 posts in, this time round ... :)

[skadi]

Every landing you can walk from was a good landing.

skadi

[topendtorque]

the only thing you do downwind,
is p**s

never p**s into wind.

[18greens]

The inexperienced pilot pushes into the weather while the good pilot turns back to meet the excellent pilot who never left the ground in the first place.


Experience is the thing you get ten seconds after you needed it.

and don't drive over narrow bridges when you are p**sed out of your brains

[imabell]

interesting,.........

not one rule of thumb so far...................:confused:

[peterperfect]

A Korean War era H-13 (sioux) helo vet told me: "two types of critters fly at night: bats and twats".

[Whirlygig]

imabell, post 7 is surely a rule of thumb! As is my 5nm thumb on a quarter mil chart!

Cheers

Whirls

[Fantome]

heliski22



The three great lies in life......

1. "The cheque is in the post!"

2. "I love you too!"

3. "Hi, I'm from Head Office, I'm here to help!"

cheque's in the mail . I will so still love you in the morning - no no I won't come in your mouth

[Fantome]

FIRST POST -

droop_snoot

your favourite old timers rules of thumb?
how about sharing some of those old tried and true rules that we could all benefit from???

flying ones that is....
good on ya...


#41
imabell


interesting,.........

not one rule of thumb so far...................

The direction the pitch change assembly moves in a Rotol typically attached to a RR Dart. In to coarse.

[ShyTorque]

not one rule of thumb so far...................

OK, here's one for the waiters: If you put your thumb in the soup and it's too hot, take it out again. :ok:

[Fantome]

. . . ..and who remembers some of those classic ARIAs that Uncle Roger Bacon ran, long time passing? (Always Remembered Instructor's Advice).

Concentrate on the job. The only time you're on track is when you're crossing it.

This compass is only good for telling you when you're pointing straight ahead. (Write that in the MR).

There is no more vital preflight item than the psyching up to be unremitting in staying alert and scan, scan, scan.

("Something loose in tail." "Something tightened in tail".
"Lump in pilot's seat" . "Lump gone home").

[Whirlygig]

From King George V - "Never pass up the opportunity to sit down or relieve yourself".

And, maintaining the thumb theme - Polix im posterio, mens in neutro!

Cheers

Whirls

[ShyTorque]

TIBMIN? :confused:

[KiloDeltaYankee]

Never fly an aircraft that is older than you are.

KDY

[SlickHueyDriver]

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

[Lafyar Cokov]

Its better to be down here wishing you were up there, rather than be up there wishing you were down here!

or, in a similar vein.....

There are far more aircraft stuck in the sea than there are submarines stuck in the sky!

and an actually useful helicopter RoT:

Remember PIE.................Power In Early

[tu154]

Don't eat yellow snow...

[before landing check list]

"interesting,.........

not one rule of thumb so far..................."



you missed mine from page 1.

[bellfest]

'Keep your landings equal to your take off's'

'If you pull up on zee lever, and the houwzes don't get zmaller, do not be tempted to pull up on zee lever some more!'

'Don't ever deny your mistakes for you will never learn. Don't just admit your mistakes, broadcast them, sing them and tell as many as you can and you will learn a little with every recital:ok:!'

[griffothefog]

"Stay out of the poo and in the blue"

Best advise I was given for noubt... never followed it when on HEMS, hence the moniker :{

[farmpilot]

If it floats, flies or fu**s rent it

[Agaricus bisporus]

No doubt ****ehawk will have a clever but unfathomable put down for this post too...

At 500' you can see the legs of cows, but not sheep.
At 250' you can see the legs of sheep.

[heliski22]

Sign in a ladies loo in a bar in Taxas (where else?)..........

"If it's got tires or testicles, it's gonna give you trouble!"

[lifer1]

NEVER let your ambition exceed you or your machines ability !!

If you do something and it works well for years or thousands of hrs keep doing it that way !!

[ANOrak]

On a trip to Ireland I met a very senior racehorse trainer who said to me "You know ANOrak, when you get to my age there are three "nevers":
1. Never pass a pissery
2. Never waste an erection
and
3. Never trust a fart!"

Very good rules of thumb!:O
ANOrak

[heliski22]

Uttered in a soft Carolinian drawl, when a colleague had just got over a bad dose of the trots.......

"Happiness is a dry fart!"

or phonetically

"Happiness is a drah fort!"

[iainms]

If it Flys, Floats or F..ks, HIRE IT !:D

[bellfest]

If you are utterly and hopelessly lost, fly into wind. 9 times out of 10 it will be the way home!:cool:

[topendtorque]

the only thing you do downwind,
is p**s


not one rule of thumb so far..................."



Quite obviously you are sitting too close to the screen, as you missed the one above and almost certainly weren't listening on your mustering check rides 25 years ago, or whenever it was, "back in the ol'days".

I do hope that you pass it on to your students, it's one of the few things that will get them to be old.

[Heli Teli]

If some idiot asks you a really, really, really stupid question, remember two things - he might not actually be an idiot, and his question just might not actually be stupid. Never be too timid or arrogant to ask what the hell they mean.

And another

Don't forget the 7 P's of planning and the 5 C's for being lost!
Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance, and Circle Climb Communicate Confess Comply!

Oh, and don't swim in lumpy water.

[macam2ada]

The 3 things that are useless to a pilot:

1. The sky above him
2. The runway behind him
3. The fuel in the bowser

[heliski22]

From a San Diego Police Pilot flying a 206B over the city at night many years ago..........

"If it quits, turn on the Nightsun to see where you're going to land. If you don't like what you see, just turn it off, cos your goin' there anyway!"

From an old friend in the LASD Aero Bureau on gaining my IR........

"Congratulations on becoming a REAL pilot. Of course, now that you're a REAL pilot, you can get into REAL trouble, REAL fast!"

Thought from a colleague at the end of the third day in a procedure trainer at the start of his IR course........

"Wouldn't things be lovely if there was no wind!"

[heliski22]

Posted over the counter in a boot shop in Tucson, Arizona........

"Due to the shortage of robots, some humans work here and will react unpredictably when provoked!"

"God, I love this place. Please be patient, I only work here because I’m too old for a paper round, too young for social security and too tired to have an affair!"

"When I woke up this morning I had only one nerve left, now you’re getting on it!"

"This life is a test. It is ONLY a test. If it had been a real life, you would have received further instructions as to where to go and what to do!"

"I was put on this earth to carry out a certain number of tasks. Right now I’m so far behind I’m never going to die!"

"If you’re grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there’s a $10 charge for just dealing with you!"

Yeah, I know, another slow day! What can I say.............?

[SASless]

If an oil field hand is dragging his kit bag......odds are it is not the forty pounds shown on the manifest.

In the oil patch.....on shift change day, offshore weather ALWAY seems worse than reported.

[Matari]

An old W. Africa pilot once told me...

The three most over-rated things in the world are:
1. Home cookin'
2. Home f**kin'
3. Weather radar

[Vertolot]

Just remember one thing:

IT´S NEVER TO LATE TO GIVE UP :ok:

[topendtorque]

a rule of thumb

A marlboro packet being 60 n.mls one way and 30 the other, has probably lost its appeal in the age of the GPS, and non smokers.

One is never too old to learn and I picked up a real gem the other day.
Never, but never refer to your wifes' counsellor as 'the shrink'.

[rotarypilot]

1. Life is a cruel teacher. It gives the exam first and the lesson after.

2. Good Judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

[cmwangs]

Learn from the mistakes of others - you'll never live long enough to make them all yourself.

There are no stupid questions.

And one more useless item - knowledge left in the instructor's head!

[Blade Wake]

"A superior pilot is one who stays out of trouble by using his superior judgement to avoid situations which might require the use of his superior skill. "

Directorate of Flight Safety – Royal Air Force



“ It takes approximately one hour to learn the fundamentals of flying. It takes a lifetime to learn when not to fly.”

FAA Safety Advisor Program


The Golden Rule is that there are no Golden Rules

The most stupid question is the one that was never asked.

[RVDT]

An old one - The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire

[3top]

some more for the road:

"The only reason some people get lost in thought
is because it's unfamiliar territory."


"Try to make something idiot proof and nature will build a better idiot."

"Argue with an idiot and he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience"

Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional!

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandpa. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers"

"If it ain't broke, I havn't flown it yet!"

The old maxim of "keeping one's mouth firmly shut and risking someone thinking you might be a fool, rather than opening it and removing all doubt" usually holds true.


"When life throws you a curve, lean into it."

"There is no second chance for a first impression!"

"NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench."





Keep 'em coming!

3top :cool:

[Treg]

Old EOD saying, but applies to just about everything

“It’s safe, until you forget it’s dangerous”


And from back in the SAR days

“When ego exceeds ability things will end in tears”

[Oracle]

Dick Hill:

"SPEEDIS YOUR SALVATION CLOSE TO THE GROUND"

and the classic:

"THE DEFINITION OF A GOOD INSTRUCTOR IS ONE WHO TEACHES HIS STUDENT EVERYTHING HE KNOWS, NOT JUST WHAT HE WANTS HIM TO KNOW!"

With thanks....

[Pandalet]

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. (shamelessly ripped off from Tradition (http://www.despair.com/tradition.html) )

More fun here: View All Demotivators® (http://www.despair.com/viewall.html)

[ShyTorque]

"SPEEDIS YOUR SALVATION CLOSE TO THE GROUND"

Not when you are vertically nose down.... :eek:

[Fantome]

One is never too old to learn and I picked up a real gem the other day.
Never, but never refer to your wifes' counselor as 'the shrink'.

Shrink is OK vernacular for psychiatrist, talking in the pub. Not quite the same as calling doctors quacks. Now if the kids are driving the wife mad . . . ..


Ham fisted pupil wondered why his instructor kept saying "Gently Bentley". Same instructor was wont to intone "Smoothness is next to godliness."

[droop_snoot]

well a lot of responses thanks...I hav managed to wade thru a lot of drivell to find a gem or 2...keep the good ones coming...

[Impress to inflate]

One from my old line trainer when flying badly,



The Lord Giveth and the lord also taketh

[SASless]

Always walk around the aircraft before strapping in.

Always do a hover check....if it isn't right to hover....it isn't right to fly.

Inflight change in vibration levels....land and find out why then continue the flight if it is safe.

If the Maintenance Release is not signed....the aircraft is U/S. (If the engineer/mechanic has not signed his name......he isn't responsible for what happens if you do....but you are.)

"I think I can."....and "Watch this!" kills pilots.

Never...Never...Never...do spontaneous low level flying. Always....always...always do a Recce/Recon first. Then have your fun.

[outofwhack]

Never fly when birds are walkin'

[ascj]

Never Decrease airspeed while Desending Downwind

[IHL]

1) If a situation arises in which you don't know what to do then don't do anything!

2) NR- too much or too little will produce the same result- a streamlined anvil!

[SASless]

Outs,

I learnt that one on Unga Island, out towards Cold Bay, Alaska!

As the weather in that part of the world has to be seen to be believed....(even worse than the Shetlands if you will believe it)....I got used to hover moseying about looking between my toes or at the skid for reference until one fine day....as I flew by the Elephant ( a peculiar rock formation)....the Sea Gull mob hopped about from one foot to the other and refused to fly off.

I went back to camp for tea and stickies.

[The Dominant Male]

Some rules for life:
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Don't get caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl.

[WhirlwindIII]

Never go further than both pilots are willing.....helps in the CRM crib.

[krobar]

Its easier to apologise than to to ask permission... Uhm... :E

If you're strapped in, but unsure if all the hatches are closed, unstrap, get out, and check.

Good manners will get you far in aviation

[sky2000]

Circle Climb Communicate Confess ComplyWouldn´t it be a lot smarter to confess (that you are actually lost) in the first place? :confused:
The way I know the 5 C´s: Confess, Climb, Conserve (Fuel), Communicate, Comply.

My favourite:

Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.


fly safe

[Phil77]

Wouldn´t it be a lot smarter to confess (that you are actually lost) in the first place?


I don't think so; what if student pilot xy just needs to take a look over the next hill and could see ie. the Golden Gate Bridge? Maybe without talking to ATC he could get away with that he just busted class B airspace? :suspect:

...there are places in the world where ATC have there hands full with other duty's than to help a pilot who gets lost every five minutes (if I recall my first x-country right :\ ). Certainly utilize the resources when necessary, but not as the first option when operating VFR.

[Canuck Guy]

If a lever is painted bright red, or is covered in dust.... do not touch it!

[iainms]

As my old RSM once said `Opinions are like a..holes, everbodys got one'

[sky2000]

@ Phil77: You are not supposed to confess to anybody but yourself (and you crew) that you are actually lost in the first place. Maybe your crewmember knows where you are, but does not know that you have no f***ing clue.
The part were you tell the hole world that you really f***ed up comes later, when you communicate. If you fixed you position after you climbed, you won´t have to talk to anybody.
... and in a helicopter you can always land. Much better than busting any airspace. In my part of the world with mode "s" transponder they will get you anyway, even if you sqawk in stby. :{

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.


fly safe

[international hog driver]

Always Bomb DOWN HILL

- meaning, if you are water bombing and vis/wind direction provide no probs, then always do it down hill.

Having seen a 205 rip the bambi bucket off because it could not out climb terrain very good advise.

Shiny Switch Syndrome

- Like Canuck says, if its shiny you can touch it, generators, boost pumps etc, if its not shiny dont touch it! Fire handles, Emerg Hyd switch etc

Lastly

IF it is shiny, and its not meant to be.... dont fly it

[Foggy Bottom]

Flying from high to low (pressure) or Hot to Cold - Look out below. (Mostly for IFR, but still good to remember)

Here is an old one from my recip days..Fuel consumption of an aircraft engine is equal to 1/2 the Hp divided by 10. (160 hp engine. 1/2 the hp = 80 diveded by 10 = 8 gph)

If another aircraft appears stationary in your windscreen and is growing in size....alter your course.

I got my PNR's as well..but to lazy to type them up

[ShyTorque]

Check out a confined area like you would check out a woman.

Size
Shape
Slope
Surface
Surrounds

:E

[bogey@6]

Never fly when birds are walkin'

__________________________________

outs,

true! in india i once met BIRDS (must be eagles) walking down the rwy as i hit v1-- and i was doing a rolling t/o on a hot summer day.

[flarecheckohdear]

If you are on the ground doing nothing - take a piss. If you are airborne doing nothing - take on fuel. :ok:

Sadly as I get older, I find myself doing the first bit of advice quite a lot :uhoh:

[Heli-Ice]

If you encounter a polar bear, turn your glove inside out and throw it at him. That will keep him busy enough for you to run away and hide... :ok:


Does this need explanation?

[Winnie]

As I sit in the polarbear capital of churchill, Manitoba, YES. Explain please:ok:

[Heli-Ice]

Hi Winnie.

You know this is pretty simple. As soon as the polar bear grabs the glove he starts trying to turn the glove around again. As you know bears are not that smart so it might take him a decent amount of time to figure the glove trick out, building a very valuable getaway time for you...

No rocket science in there, just plain Icelandic survival technics. :cool:

[Johe02]

The oldest one has to be -

"In flying I have learned that carelessness and overconfidence are usually far more dangerous than deliberately accepted risks."

— Wilbur Wright in a letter to his father, September 1900

[Fly_For_Fun]

Never eat anything bigger than your head.

Never eat yellow snow.

After hitting a golf ball you should aim to be farther away than before you hit it.

These are all good tips for post flight activities.

[Chickenhawk1]

So when you're starting out on the training path, before you get your visa and raybans, sit down and add up all the hours flying you'll need , don't forget the skills tests/ 170As/ check ride etc as well as landing fees, fuel surcharges and instructors time.

Then add in the cost of the approximate amount of ground instruction you'll need, you can be liberal with this cos you want the best. Add in a suitable amount for charts, nav computers, set of four multi coloured pens etc.

You'll need a headset too! Oh and you'll have to pay for accommodation, food possibly transport, and some shorts if you're going to train somewhere hot.

Add all that up.

So how much will your training cost? Well take that number you just got (shocking isn't it?) and NOW ADD 20%.

Now you're in the ball park.

I haven't been proven wrong about this rule of thumb yet ;)