sunshine band
25th Jun 2008, 15:36
The Royal Air Force is in trouble. Its "business model" doesn't work with the current price of fuel and the existing level of experience. We need to make changes in response.
While there have been several successful fundings once, long ago, those increases haven't been sufficient to cover the rising cost of fuel. As fuel costs increase, fewer pilots will fly jollies. As fewer fly, we will need to reduce our capacity to match the reduced demand. As we reduce our capacity, we will need fewer pilots to operate the aircraft. Although these changes will be painful, we must adapt to the reality of today's requirements to successfully navigate these difficult times.
Therefore, a program to phase out the more senior pilots by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
Under this plan, senior pilots will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the newbies who represent our future. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Pilots). Pilots who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the RAF. SLAPPED Pilots can request a review of their employment records via JPA before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All pilots who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with their Desk Officer. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, a pilot may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the RAF deems appropriate.
If a pilot follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any pilot who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the RAF.
CAS wishes to assure the younger pilots who remain on board that the he will continue his policy of training pilots through his: Special High Intensity Training (****). He takes personal pride in the amount of **** our pilots receive. He have given our pilots more **** than anyone could have hoped for. If any pilot feels they do not receive enough **** on the job, see your 1st RO. Your 1st RO is specially trained to make sure you receive all the **** you can handle.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
SB
While there have been several successful fundings once, long ago, those increases haven't been sufficient to cover the rising cost of fuel. As fuel costs increase, fewer pilots will fly jollies. As fewer fly, we will need to reduce our capacity to match the reduced demand. As we reduce our capacity, we will need fewer pilots to operate the aircraft. Although these changes will be painful, we must adapt to the reality of today's requirements to successfully navigate these difficult times.
Therefore, a program to phase out the more senior pilots by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
Under this plan, senior pilots will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the newbies who represent our future. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Pilots). Pilots who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the RAF. SLAPPED Pilots can request a review of their employment records via JPA before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All pilots who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with their Desk Officer. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, a pilot may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the RAF deems appropriate.
If a pilot follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any pilot who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the RAF.
CAS wishes to assure the younger pilots who remain on board that the he will continue his policy of training pilots through his: Special High Intensity Training (****). He takes personal pride in the amount of **** our pilots receive. He have given our pilots more **** than anyone could have hoped for. If any pilot feels they do not receive enough **** on the job, see your 1st RO. Your 1st RO is specially trained to make sure you receive all the **** you can handle.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
SB