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stickandrudderman
7th Jun 2008, 15:53
I've been repairing cars professionally for the best part of thirty years.
Guess what I did yesterday.
( I was in a hire car on my way to Zagreb Airport after a nice relaxing week in the sun).

ORAC
7th Jun 2008, 15:55
Put diesel in a petrol car - or vice-versa....

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
7th Jun 2008, 16:26
Charged yourself three hundred dollars for an unnecessary service? :}

SOTV
7th Jun 2008, 16:33
Opened the bonnet, shook your head, sucked your teeth and said 'you will have to leave this one with me.'?

;)

ArthurR
7th Jun 2008, 16:34
Charged yourselt VAT, because you didn't have enough cash in readies

Krystal n chips
7th Jun 2008, 16:38
If this wonderful event was "legal and safe to do so"....as the patronising "twaffic weeporteerth" say.....then sod orff....if, on the other hand it was illegal and unsafe to do so......then simply post the pics and video on here....so we can all enjoy...... and / or call for your summary execution or simply to be sectioned .....

I hate these guessing games ! ;):E

ground_star
7th Jun 2008, 17:37
Hey!! I worked as one of those "twaffic weeporteerth" once...we ain't all bad!!

Some of us believe that the govenment should just **** off & leave people alone to decide how to run their own lives & manage their own risks.

Thats just what it says on the card you read out to get the piddly 15k a year for silly shifts!

Foss
7th Jun 2008, 18:19
Reversed into somewhere with the drivers door open to see where you going and folded it neatly along the front wing.

Think the petrol diesel disaster is odds on favourite.

stickandrudderman
7th Jun 2008, 19:09
Orac has it in one, although all of the other suggestions are worthy of praise!
Still, having quickly dismissed the option of calling hire company because they say in the small print that you'll automatically be charged 200 for your stupidity, I did manage to get all of the deisel out again and replace it with the correct fuel. It's amazing what you can achieve with a pair of scissors and some nail clippers!

I have to confess that one side of me kept thinking about how much I was going to charge myself and whether I'd be paying cash or not!!

G-CPTN
7th Jun 2008, 19:31
Do describe how (and when you first realised) you did the drain/disposal/refill (including repairing the drain point).

Otherwise this thread is finished . . .

And did you have to miss your flight?

Loose rivets
7th Jun 2008, 19:41
My American son and his lot spent 5 hours...yes five hours on the N circular following his arrival at LHR. Some kind person had put petrol in his D-SUV. He'd even taken it back to say that it sounded rough, but had never owned a diesel car so accepted the bloke's assurances.

After about 45 mins of driving, it would barely do 30mph.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
7th Jun 2008, 21:53
Loose. Where've you been?

===

Whatever it was, you were unable to fix it because you couldn't recreate the noise.

G-CPTN
7th Jun 2008, 22:52
Diesel will (should) sink to the bottom of the tank, though the act of filling will have stirred-up the contents and some intermixing would be expected. Draining fuel out through any pipe other than the filler pipe will take an inordinately long time, so, unless the quantity added was minimal (and one imagines that stickandrudderman was intending to replenish the petrol used during his use of the vehicle so therefore not - unless realisation occurred at the very beginning of the refuelling) then time (and a drainage facility) would be necessary.
So come on, stickandrudderman, let us hear the story.
We could be impressed . . .

Parapunter
7th Jun 2008, 23:08
While we're waiting...

My besty mate works for DHL parcels & is quite senior, so head screwed on right? Er no. He was about to get his first company sparkler, so opted not to fill up the rover 414 shitbox, which promptly ran out of petrol on Putney bridge at half five on a Friday - two mile traffic jam.

So, the breakdown guy turns up & offers a ride to a garage, Mate declines, after all he's getting a shiny in the morning, so just goes for a ride home.

Next day, he picks up his brand new Golf TDI & a very nice it is too. Like all new work motors, it's got a pint of juice in it & so after work, he pops into the garage to fill up & sticks fifty quid worth of unleaded in, which has it expiring in cloud of white smoke two hundred yards down the road.

As you would, he calls the breakdown service & thirty minutes later, the truck turns up it's the same feller as the night before, my mate gets out, looks at the guy who's wearing an enormous grin & says: "Don't you say a f****g word mate."

G-CPTN
7th Jun 2008, 23:25
I collected my then new company car from the factory.
I was going on a long trip the following day so filled it 'up to the brim'. 30 miles (and three-quarters of an hour) later I arrived at home and realised that there was an 'atmosphere' within the vehicle. Returning to the car after being outside confirmed this - there were serious 'fumes' of petrol vapour (good job I didn't smoke).
It was an estate car, and when I removed the 'deck' there was two inches of petrol swilling around. It turned out that the fueltank hadn't been 'swaged' around the middle (and, of course, the production-line half-gallon initial fill hadn't revealed this).
I was able to decant the spilled petrol into cans and proceeded to keep my appointment the next day by adding a couple of gallons at a time from the cans (and returned the vehicle to the factory on the subsequent day for them to sort out).
As I stated, it's a good job that I didn't smoke (the build-up of the fumes as the petrol leaked during the journey home was gradual and I didn't notice, but the end-result was formidable. In time I suppose I might have been overcome by the fumes had I driven for longer.).

ShyTorque
8th Jun 2008, 00:21
One very cold January night I filled up the tank of my old BSA A7 SS with fuel to get me 130 miles to Bedfordshire.

I'd gone about half a mile when I could smell petrol and at the same time realised my nethers, clad in two pairs of trousers, had gone extremely chilly, to say the least.

The tank, which had a welded seam at the back, had split and I was sitting in a puddle of fuel.

I had to get to my destination by midnight or would be posted AWOL.

I purloined a tin can from the next friendly garage, drained off a gallon until the level dropped and the leak stopped. I strapped the can to the rear rack, opened up my flies and carried on... Making a point of fully retarding the magneto timing lever whenever I was coming to a stop, to avoid the chance of a carb backfire until I'd dried out a bit ..... :} .

I must have been quite mad. :ugh:

Whirlygig
8th Jun 2008, 00:24
opened up my flies and carried on
Noooooo, it's nearly bo-bo time and that's an image I could do without!!! :}

Cheers

Whirls

ShyTorque
8th Jun 2008, 00:32
But it was such a cold night, there was absolutely nothing to flap in the slipstream.....

I was only worried about another kind of "flash" - a flash fire! :eek:

BlueWolf
8th Jun 2008, 00:38
10% petrol added to the diesel tank is common practice round here in the winter, the anti-waxing additive they put in as standard only works down to about minus 15. Makes 'em run more gooderer too :ok:

In a previous life as a truck driver, I recall a young employee being instructed by one of the drivers to "top up the oil in that truck."

This the lad did....until the oil overflowed from the filler cap.

ShyTorque
8th Jun 2008, 00:46
My sis-in-law-to-be, then away at teacher training college (and mindful of the rollocking she got from her father the previous winter for NOT doing so) once put 2.5 litres of antifreeze in her car, in good time to prevent frost damage that Christmas.

Shame she had sold her (water cooled) Fiat 850 and bought an old (air-cooled) VW Beetle.

The oil was blue, so was the air when her father realised what she'd done.

Her sister is no better with cars :( .

G-CPTN
8th Jun 2008, 01:12
In a previous life as a truck driver, I recall a young employee being instructed by one of the drivers to "top up the oil in that truck."
This the lad did....until the oil overflowed from the filler cap.Young girl (sorry, but true) newly employed by builders merchants, sent to check the oil level of a truck. Explained that there was a dipstick - she returned to show it to her mentor, who provided a can of oil and asked her to top it up to the full level.
Young lady returned saying that she needed more oil as she had spilled a lot.
She had been trying to pour it down the dipstick hole . .

Whirlygig
8th Jun 2008, 01:15
A few years ago, I had to drive myself and a colleague (who is also a friend) from Newbury to Warrington for a meeting. So, the day before, I pumped up the tyres to the correct pressure, I topped up the oil and coolant and checked the washer bottle. All the lights and indicators were working.

Somewhere, on the M42, in a traffic jam, Sue said, "I can smell burning oil." "Yeah", I relpled, "so can I, must be that manky old Transit in front".

On the M6, and the oil light came. I carefully drove to next services (which was about 5 miles away), parked, lifted the bonnet and saw .....

..... no oil cap on the engine and, nestled sweetly between the washer bottle and the coolant reservoir, the cap!! Just where I'd left it.

ooooh it was a ness!

Cheers

Whirls

Whirlygig
8th Jun 2008, 01:19
She had been trying to pour it down the dipstick hole . .
..and what's so fecking funny about that eh?

I needed to put oil in my darling Triumph Herald (25 year ago). At least I knew it needed oil. So, I asked one of the guys with whom I shared a house, where I had to put it.

He said, "Well Whirls, you know your motorbike?" "Yes", replies I. "well, you know where your dipstick is on the bike? And that you put the oil down there? Well, it's the same for a car".

Barsteward!!!

Cheers

Whirls

unclenelli
8th Jun 2008, 01:49
My first Car (years back) was a Morris Ital, and I used to regularly use Redex on the engine to clean out the gunk from the inside.
As weel as adding a cap full to each tank-full, you can also remove the plugs, squirt some into each cylinder, and it cleans the gunk out quicker.
Normally a rag over the plug holes when you turn the engine over catches the gunk on its way out of the plug hole.

One day I was doing this in a rush, and decided to push the rag deeper into all four holes at once, rather then one at a time like I normally did.

One turn of the key, a bang, and a change of engine note later and the Volvo across the street was now PINK!!!

BlueWolf
8th Jun 2008, 01:55
Dipsticks, hmm, recall an "oh-sh1t" moment nearing the end of a run one otherwise ordinary day, small box-body truck (about six ton) I was using for the day suddenly started smelling of burning oil, and then the oil light came on.

Pulled over, lifted the engine cover inside the cab, oh dear, black crap everywhere, and bits of gravel scattered over the engine :confused:. After a bit of head scratching and WTF-ing, I discovered the dipstick to be flopping round loose in its tube; deduced that somehow, one of the stones flung up from the loose metal on the new seal I had driven over some kilometres back must have caught the ring puller on the aforementioned dipstick and popped it loose, blowing oil all through the engine bay.

I was in the middle of nowhere, weren't no cellphones in them days neither, but you know, there is a God; one of the items I had left still to deliver, was a 20-litre drum of Universal Tractor Oil. Customer missed his delivery but I got home.

Dushan
8th Jun 2008, 02:49
I knew there was a reason to never own or drive a diesel car. Noisy, dirty, underpowered, and can make you look stupid on PPruNe:eek:

Stick to Hight-Test boys and girls....

stickandrudderman
8th Jun 2008, 12:17
OK here's what happened next:
I realised as soon as I returned the pump handle to its' dock what I'd done and so didn't start the car.
The tank was near empty and I'd pumped 35 litres of diesel into it, so I knew roughly how much I had to get out.
Unamused girlfriend and I pushed it off the pumps and checked docs for breakdown procedure where I found the 200+VAT charge, so the phone was left in my pocket.
Luckily, the gas station sold 20 litre containers, and the very helpful attendant managed to find me a length of garden hose from somewhere, which is frankly a bit of a miracle since we were in a new service station in the middle of nowhere!.
I was relieved to find that there was no anti-syphon device in the filler neck and so set about syphoning the diesel fuel out.
I assured stressed girlfriend that we'd off again in a jiffy and to relax in the cafe with a cup of coffee and I'd come and get her presently....
At 10 litres the extraction of said contaminate ceased and could not be re-started.
Bugger!
OK, I lifted the bonnet to see that the fuel delivery line is thankfully a low pressure one and so only secured by a spring hose clip, which I was able to remove with a combination of nail clippers and scissors!
My luck was in yet again when I found that the peice of garden hose's internal diameter matched exactly that of the external diameter of the fuel hose.
Now then, all I've got to do is find the fuel pump relay and bridge it out with a paper clip and I'll be laughing.
The trouble is I've worked exclusively on Mercedes all my life and have no idea where to find it on this VW polo.
I obviously have no tools and the gas station deosn't sell any.
I have to abandon this plan and opt for getting girlfriend to hold the key in the starter position to get the fuel pump to run.
I restricy the cranking to bursts of about 30 seconds with a 2 minute break in order to try not to overheat the starter motor, and contaminant extrication continues, slowly.
I'm mindful of three things: the battery life, the starter motor overheating, and the fact that I'll need some battery life left once I've got the correct fuel in to purge the fuel line of diesel and hopefully expedite the starting of the engine.
It takes around 45 minutes to extract the remaining fuel, and I'm content to leave around 1/4 tank deisel to mix with the correct fuel.
We push the car back to the pumps and fill her up, correctly this time!
The last remaining task is to purge the fuel line so I run the garden hose from then engine bay back to the fuel filler and crank the engine once again.
Well, I say crank but what I really mean is turn the key to the start position only to see smoke billowing from the starter motor and no cranking!
Bugger again!
I recruit a friendly motorist in his S class Merc (If only he knew!) to help try to bump start the car but with the fuel lines still full of diesel it's not happening.
Merc driver retreats hastily.
I spot a truck driver walking towards his massive tipper and ask if he has a rope and would he help us, to which he very kindly agrees, although he only has an old tie down strap to use as a tow rope.
By the time I've made a bridle around the sub-frame (I couldn't find a dedicated towing eye) the strap is only about 4ft long, but it'll have to do....
Off we set and the tie down strap breaks
Double bugger!
A quick reef knot and the strap is now down to three feet and I'm getting desperate!
We set off again and after one complete lap of the very large car park and several looks of resignation from the truck driver the little polo reluctantly kicks into life! TFFT!
I keep her running at 3000RPM whilst girlfriend gives the 30 litres of deisel that we extricated to the truck driver as a thankyou, with which he's delighted.
We didn't stop again until Zagreb airport....
We'd set off that morning from an Island just off the coast of Split and we had a choice of 0800 or 1000 ferries.
I elected for the earlier one in order that we'd have some contingency time!
We arrived for our 1625 flight at 1530!
total cost was around 40 worth of fuel and a fiver for the containers!
As I write I've still got a blister on my lip. I'm not sure if I got it from the deisel fuel or from my girlfriend, but I think it was the former!:O

G-CPTN
8th Jun 2008, 12:28
Well done!
Savour it as an escape from what could have been a 'disaster' with a breakdown on the road and a possible expensive bill for replacement of the injection pump (and maybe injectors - if they have such things nowadays).
Just shows that it can happen to the best of us . . .


I bet you'll never do it again!

stickandrudderman
8th Jun 2008, 15:29
Incidentally,
Did you here about the blonde woman who walked into the parts department and asked for a litre of 710?
The parts guys were a bit confused as to what it was she was after and asked her to clarify.
"Look", she said impatiently, "I need to put a litre of 710 in my engine as it clearly states on the filler cap".
"Ah!" said the partsman, "I think if you turn the filler cap through 180 degrees you'll find it will say OIL!"