View Full Version : Point of law/broccoli

31st May 2008, 16:59
Broccoli: Point in law.

I have noticed that there is a large stalk (which we throw away) on this product, probably weighing more than the florets we eat. My question…. Would it be legal to snap off/cut said stalk to reduce the weight at the check out?

I’ve seen people taking two/three bananas from a larger bunch, so I presume re; broccoli this would also be legal?.


31st May 2008, 17:11
Having done some research (http://www.samcooks.com/relish/broccoli.htm), no, because it is edible - even if you choose to discard it.

tony draper
31st May 2008, 17:23
Horrible stuff, it's just green cauliflower, only it don't taste as good as proper cauliflower.
One don't hold wi these furrin vegetables

31st May 2008, 18:10
....most of what is sold as 'broccoli' is, in fact, calabrese. Proper (purple sprouting preferably) broccoli is an entirely different, and lovely, thing with stalks that are similar to asparagus in texture and (in some people's view) taste.

31st May 2008, 18:12
I can locally obtain a very nice salad product made of finely longitudinally shredded broccoli stalks mixed with similarly shredded carrots. Nice color mix, nutritious and non-fattening before slathered with dressing, eat some and live long and prosper.

Not all broccoli is bad. Unless you are a kid. It was bad when I was a kid, but it has changed since then.

31st May 2008, 19:17
Some people, including myself, consider the stalk just as good as the florets. Very easy to prepare and cook.

Cut the stalk from the top as close as possible, then remove the bottom part of the stalk that is dry. Peel the skin from the stalk, slice the stalk into thin circles. Place the cut stalk onto the bottom of the steamer and then cover with florets. Season with Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper, drizzle with olive oil and steam until tender. Serve with melted butter.

If you do not want to go to that much trouble, keep the stalks in the freezer until you want to make a vegetable stock with other left over veggies.

By the way, none of the above works with cauliflower, I hate cauliflower.

31st May 2008, 19:26
Some people, including myself, consider broccoli to be :yuk:
Place it in a pan with a pinch of salt, bring to the boil then drain (discard the liquid) and then throw away the vegetable.
Alternatively, the raw broccoli can be placed direct onto the compost heap, thereby saving the energy to prepare and cook it . . .

31st May 2008, 19:44
The article is about broccoli, so why does the picture show asparagus?

31st May 2008, 19:46
Some people, including myself, consider broccoli to be
Place it in a pan with a pinch of salt, bring to the boil then drain (discard the liquid) and then throw away the vegetable.
Alternatively, the raw broccoli can be placed direct onto the compost heap, thereby saving the energy to prepare and cook it . . .

Exactly correct G-C, except replace the word broccoli with cauliflower. :ok:

31st May 2008, 19:58
Dislike brocolli and cauliflour cooked unless drenched in cheese sauce. Like both raw with an onion dip. Like Albert Brocolli's stuff.

Right, after watching more of Rick Stein's French canal cooking adventure, I'm hungry. 11:58 - time for brekkies at the local diner. Thinking about leaving them a recipe for a full English breakfast to boost their clientale. They won't be able to get good bacon but, no charge.

31st May 2008, 21:02
Broccolli is nice. I also eat cauliflower with chicken curries. The stalks of both vegetables make good eating, so why throw perfectly good food away?.

Cauliflower with ginger:

Fry a handful of chopped onions, a couple of crushed garlic cloves and a thumb of finely sliced fresh ginger on low heat until soft. Add cauliflower florettes and sliced stalks, stir to absorb the ginger flavoured oil. Sprinkle with a little turmeric powder for colour and stir it in. Add a cup of boiling water, cover the pan and simmer until the cauliflower softens.

You can cook broccoli in a similar fashion, but leave out the ginger and turmeric. Add half a cup of chicken or beef stock instead (which one you use depends on what meat dish you're eating it with).

31st May 2008, 21:49

Always cook the stalks of broccoli/calabrese the same way, learnt it from me mum. She never could stand wasting food. Absolutely delicious.

Have always, even as a child, loved broccoli. As selfloadingcargo says, purple sprouting is the best if you can get it.

Solid Rust Twotter
31st May 2008, 22:02
Flash fry broccoli or cauliflower cut into individual florettes for two minutes or so with onion, garlic, chili and a dash of light soy sauce. Serve immediately so the florettes remain crisp.

31st May 2008, 23:04
Point of order to Mods.... I feel my original post is going more Delia Smith. Posters, can we get back to my original topic plz.

Solid Rust Twotter
31st May 2008, 23:18
Answered by ORAC in the second post.

31st May 2008, 23:24
Solid...So why the thread drift?

henry crun
31st May 2008, 23:43
Thread drift in JB is not only a fact of life, it is inevitable, get used to it. :)

In NZ broccoli is not weighed, it is sold per head, so your problem does not arise.

31st May 2008, 23:52
Solid...So why the thread drift?

'cause it's Jet Blast, that's why. :ok:

(Hey, be happy, this thread has lasted nearly a whole day, we are still talking about broccoli and Airship has not posted a single thing blaming Bush, the CIA, USA, FBI, DEA, USMS, USN, USAF, US Army, the Marines, US Postal Service, NASA, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Christian nutters, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir or anything else connected to the U.S. regarding the taste, size or cost (stalks) of broccoli. :p)

(I blame the French on the taste of cauliflower. :suspect:)

31st May 2008, 23:58
Bush, the CIA, USA, FBI, DEA, USMS, USN, USAF, US Army, the Marines, US Postal Service, NASA, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Christian nutters, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir or anything else connected to the U.S.

Isn't this all the same thing? Some serious snakes in that gent's European head.......

By the way, Bush the elder stated publicly that he didn't like broccoli and wasn't gonna eat it.

Thus proving, it's somehow a plot for world domination.

1st Jun 2008, 00:07
By the way, Bush the elder stated publicly that he didn't like broccoli and wasn't gonna eat it.

Curses, foiled again. :ugh:

Okay Airship, I guess Brick has pointed out my error. Full steam ahead. :(


(I don't care what G. H. W. Bush said, I still like broccoli. :p)

tony draper
1st Jun 2008, 00:18
One recons yer can't beat a good honest British Turnip,all yer have ter do is boil em,no need for this fancy frying in oil wi ginger and other furrin stuff.

1st Jun 2008, 01:53
Good stuff, broccolli, same as cauliflower, so long as they're RAW. Chop them in the salad, taste great, way good for you.

But the instant you put heat or water anywhere near them, they become instantly revolting, and all the goodness evaporates.

Most veges are the same, other than spuds and yams.

1st Jun 2008, 02:32
Kale family all good fer you

Try the Chinese one (gai lan)


1st Jun 2008, 05:40
The Great Man said:

"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."

Words to live by.

1st Jun 2008, 07:05
Yeah, but isn't Broccoli supposed to be good for the brain??

OOooooppps - I just proved my case!:}

Brian Abraham
1st Jun 2008, 07:22
I hope some one doesn't mention Brussel Sprouts. Sort of thing you would expect that big house there to invent if it didn't already exist.

tony draper
1st Jun 2008, 09:12
Brussel Sprouts? I loves em,like little cabbages they is.:rolleyes:

Brian Abraham
1st Jun 2008, 09:25
Dear, dear Mr. D. I once had respect for you and your good judgement. Sadly misplaced obviously, though the boss of the house has a nephew who eats them by the plate full. No accounting for taste I guess.

1st Jun 2008, 09:29
drizzle with olive oil

DRIZZLE?? DRIZZLE?? Aaaaargh. What's wrong with "put" or "splashed" or "poured". Been watching too many bleedin' cooking programmes Con.

Oops! Sorry, wrong thread. I should be on the Rant thread. :E

tony draper
1st Jun 2008, 09:31
When one was doing work on the Tyneside Metro System one would use the staff canteen,bloke who used to sit on a table opposite would go to the counter and return with a plate full of sprouts, open his lunch pail as the cousins calls em remove some slices of buttered bread then commence to make sprout sannies which he would devour with some vigor,some strange chaps used to work on the Railways.

1st Jun 2008, 10:09
Never had one. Sounds delicious.

But why does the picture show asparagus?

Flap 5
1st Jun 2008, 10:17
All together now - but why does the picture show asparagus? :ok:

Maybe its the usual journalistic genius. They are probably just as bad at reporting about vegetables as they are at reporting on aviation.

1st Jun 2008, 10:25
sprouts?....just sulphurous little cabbages; decent Savoy cabbage, now you're talking....

1st Jun 2008, 10:26
Big bowl of sprouts with a bit of pepper & a few almonds - I'll have that over a bacon sarnie anyday! Best thing to come out of Brussells.

1st Jun 2008, 10:27
I'm glad you take this asparagus question seriously. When the whole thread is on a point of law we should be able to take the facts for granted. Otherwise where would we all be?

1st Jun 2008, 10:47
Best thing to come out of Brussells. (sic)Been in Brussels for a month now and not seen even a glimpse of a sprout. My forays into the local gastronomy arena suggests that apart from potatoes and bread, Belgians are mostly carnivorous. The local supermarket's wine section is four times the size of their vegetable patch. They do sell broccoli though; both the green and purple varieties. Yum-yum.

(I've tried eating horses. The British have been missing out, such sentimental fools as they are... :p)

Topic getting a bit Delia Smith? She can't cook proper food; not like me Gran anyhow. Gran used lots of ginger, nutmeg, cloves fenugreek and other such stuff that wor tony classifies as foreign, yet she was cooking from Mrs Beeton all the way. You don't get more English than Mrs Beeton, and she approved of broccoli - stalks and all.

1st Jun 2008, 11:16
What if the Pilot in Command has eaten broccoli prior to flight. Then whilst at cruise allitude, pollutes the cabin, becomes unwell when the handling pilot is flying: to the extent that the handling pilot has to assume command.
In that green veg may cause gas. Would the P.I.C have a case to answer at tribunal?

Effluent Man
1st Jun 2008, 12:02
Broccoli,To paraphrase Delia,Let's be 'avin it. A mate has 6 allotments and we get seasonal veg all year round at a fraction of the outrageous supermarket prices. Currently as much fresh asparagus as I can eat..need a gas mask for a pee though.

Peter Fanelli
1st Jun 2008, 15:15
Brussels Sprouts, Broccoli and Asparagas all become edible if you put enough vegemite on em.

1st Jun 2008, 15:36
(For your eyes only (http://music.barnesandnoble.com/search/mediaplayer.asp?ean=724354055423&track=5&disc=1))...

Whilst it may have been an American, Albert R. Broccoli who produced that particular James Bond movie, as always, apart from some minor and probably inconsequential assistance from 'the cousins', we managed to save the World perfectly well without blowing up half of it in the process... :E:ok:

1st Jun 2008, 18:04
Mods……My original post has gone ‘over the horizon’ Re; Other posters.. I respectfully request that, their child like humour in replies to my original post be banned.

My original topic broccoli/law seemed to be some ‘outlet valve’ for some of these ‘nonsers’ Delia Smith fans, to bring forth their recopies as to cooking the above said veg. My original post (simple terms) would it be ok to cut off the stalk before the checkout.

I’m feeling a rainbow moment commin on.

tony draper
1st Jun 2008, 18:30
Think your original question is probably covered by the new Anti Stalking Laws.

1st Jun 2008, 18:35
Boring answer: In your original post, you equated snapping off the broccoli stems with taking two or three bananas from a bigger bunch.

This comparison is flawed. You are still taking the whole fruit, just in a smaller number. A better, although inexact, comparison would be with taking the bananas out of their skins and then weighing them peeled, rather than with their skins on, to get the price. Try that and see what happens....

As ORAC also pointed out, it is further flawed in that the stems/stalks are perfectly edible anyway.

If all you want is the florets, then buy the pre-prepared packs. They are more expensive. There is a reason for this - they don't have the stalk.....

1st Jun 2008, 19:32
The German Kindergarten teachers were coming over all green so that they forbade sending our tykes in with anything non-recyclable, such as a plastic pack of yoghurt. It was Tupperware or death!

I asked the wife if we should have the kiddies ask if they had to eat the banana peels then, when she dealt me a series of heavy blows with a Teflon-coated frying pan as if to suggest that jokes were not to be encouraged there, since they might engender disrespect for authority in our children who were, after all, half-German. (With the passage of time in a German environment they are now about 95% German.)

Asparagus is a crop that is widely grown in my part of Germany. It is cultivated in such a way that it is white, not green, very mild in taste. Green asparagus is a French thing, I guess.

Broccoli is steamed and eaten whole. The stem is perfectly edible, I find. Or the steamed broccoli is pulverised with one of those mad, whirling things and then mixed into broccoli soup and consumed that way.

Cauliflower is something I find revolting, just a matter of personal taste. I am not now nor do I ever intend to become President of the United States of America. I do not intend to run for that office and if elected I shall not serve but even so I have no intention of ever eating cauliflower.

1st Jun 2008, 19:44
What we have been pointing out in our childish humourous way is that broccoli is edible. All of it. The whole of that part of the vegetable that appears above ground. You can eat every bit of it except the roots.

Thus, breaking off the stalk to reduce the weight of what you purchase when taking it to the checkout might not technically be a crime, in that you pay for the whole weight of what you are checking out, but it is definitely a crime against the culinary arts.

1st Jun 2008, 19:52
Green asparagus is a French thing, I guess.

Gasp! Green asparagus is a quintessential BRITISH thing - and a whole lot tastier than inferior foreign varieties.....

1st Jun 2008, 21:09
How expensive is broccoli, anyway, that you would need to manicure your purchase? Surely someone that cash-strapped wouldn't be able to own a computer with which to post here.

Brits eat asparagus? I had no idea! I thought your idea of veg was just chips, basically. Neeps and tatties north of the Wall, yes, but otherwise I thought yours was a chips-based culture and the limper the better.

1st Jun 2008, 21:33
This is but a slight drift. From time to time I have come across the expression "a cauliflower ear", but never seen one.

Well now, one is a slave to the dreaded insomnia and last evenng in its toils had recourse yet again to the telly to beguile an hiur or two. There were the usual ads for hair restorer against "male pattern baldness"; machines to develop "pecs"; and the like and also a contest in a cage, not a ring, between chaps who do extreme martial arts.

One of said chaps was from Birmingham or Manchester, England, as I recall, and he had a monster "cauliflower ear". Many of you must know him. It was an unforgettable spectacle. A real beezer.

I am not a regular watcher of chaps doing extreme martial arts, you understand, but this was an exceptional program. One event, a world championshiop challenge, was stopped because of an inadvertent foul, the gouging of an eye by a thumb. That is just by the way, a diversion from my main theme, which is the cauliflower ear.

These contests were a lesson to everyone to be accurate and precise in phraseology and terminology. An ear could be, and indeed this chap's was "cauliflower", but an ear could never be "asparagus" (white or green), or "broccoli"; only "cauliflower". Better-informed and more critical critical ear-fanciers may differ? I am very wiilling in this as in so much else to be educated.


1st Jun 2008, 22:19
Asparagus is a crop that is widely grown in my part of Germany. It is cultivated in such a way that it is white, not green, very mild in taste.

Ah, spargle (I think that's the correct spelling. It sounds vaguely pornographic, but I digress....). Very lovely stuff.

When it's in season, I found it was served with everything, on everything. I was ok with most of it, but a late breakfast in some tiny village in Badden-Wurtemberg serving spargle on toast was my limit.

Spargle cream soup, however.....one needed a smoke and a nap afterwards. And I don't smoke.................

1st Jun 2008, 22:29
"I blame the French on the taste of cauliflower."
Maybe we're not talking about the same stuff?
The cauliflower they grow here in 'Bretagne' (northern France) is excellent.

1st Jun 2008, 22:50
"Green asparagus is a French thing, I guess."

Not really - in Paris you usually will find white asparagus far more easily.
But it's very common in the South of France.
Personally I prefer it... it has all the "asparagus" flavour without that bitter flavour I'm not keen on. Matter of taste, sure.

Something special is the wild asparagus you find here - actually some of it grows in our garden. Very thin, and it's around only a few weeks. But absolutely delicious in an omelet.

1st Jun 2008, 22:53
Okay, you found me out ChristiaanJ, shoot, I really cannot blame the French for the terrible taste of cauliflower. :p

1st Jun 2008, 23:05
…. Would it be legal to snap off/cut said stalk to reduce the weight at the check out?

I’ve seen people taking two/three bananas from a larger bunch, so I presume re; broccoli this would also be legal?.


I dont see why not. You are choosing what to buy by weight not by how it appears. I have seen people picking out mushrooms and pulling off the stalks.

Give it a try. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

tony draper
1st Jun 2008, 23:10
I can see the headlines now, Armed police deal with Knife wielding madman attacking vegetables in Sainsburys.

1st Jun 2008, 23:57
then buy the pre-prepared packs. They are more expensive. There is a reason for this - they don't have the stalk.....As my entry in the "most trivially dull post of the year" alongside all the others in this thread, I have to point out that in T****'s yesterday the wrapped broccoli was 1p cheaper per pound, or perhaps per kilogram, than the unwrapped stuff with the stalks. But then again not all the stalks were off the wrapped ones.

I thought you'd like to know that.

Even when confronted with temptation like that, I couldn't raise the will to buy the dreadful vegetable, in spite of her orders to do so.

At least you can eat the bananas on the way to the checkout and dump the skin in someone else's trolley. If you try that with raw broccoli, you'll probably die; eating it, i mean, not dumping the skin, it hasn't got any.

Oh God.....get me out of this.

Dan D'air
2nd Jun 2008, 04:22
Okay, you found me out ChristiaanJ, shoot, I really cannot blame the French for the terrible taste of cauliflower.

Er, yes, you can. One can blame the garlic-munching, cheese-eating surrender monkeys for anything one likes. It may not be fair, but it's fun.

2nd Jun 2008, 05:14
One of my favorite salads is a bowl of raw broccoli, cauliflower & celery with a nice dressing of oil, lime juice and a splash of vinegar.

Yum yum

2nd Jun 2008, 05:56
Broccoli disappears over the horizon with the original question answered. Meanwhile:

In German asparagus is Spargel, pronounced shpargle, the sound of someone with a stalk caught in his throat (oenomatopoeia I think that is but you need to check with Dr Draper to make sure of that) and that other Doctor, Spock, could be said to have asparagus ears, I believe.

I am sorry for not treating the original theme with the respect it deserved but shopping for veg is waaay down the scale of things I pay attention to, below Scientology and the state of Tom Cruise's sexuality even. Try again with "How to dispose of chewing gum that comes in a little jar instead of in paper wrappers" and see if that can hold the child-like attention of your virtual audience here, is my advice. Thanks anyway for providing a bit of fun on a dull and sandy day.

tony draper
2nd Jun 2008, 08:40
Ah Celery! now your talking,nowt like a stick of celery well salted, a large chunk of cheese an a thickly buttered brown bread crust,perfect snack in my book,a tad noisy though,tiz not a morsel for say SAS chaps covered wi bits of foliage hiding int bushes staking out some of they bearded scallywags.

2nd Jun 2008, 09:45
What sort of cheese?

I envisage a strong mature cheddar.

2nd Jun 2008, 10:38
Celery and Cheddar are good together, but it is even better with Stilton or even (dare I mention a foreign cheese) Cambozola....

Union Jack
2nd Jun 2008, 11:23
"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."

Otherwise expressed, admittedly at a lower level, by the old joke:

Q. What's the difference between bogeys (or "boogers" as the cousins quaintly call them) and broccoli?

A. Kids won't eat broccoli :yuk::p


PS On a more serious note, perhaps the OP is unaware that the stalks are actually better for you than the florets

tony draper
2nd Jun 2008, 11:32
Who wants owt to do wi grub that's good for you?:uhoh:

2nd Jun 2008, 11:38
Because up to now I have only found this delicacy in China where the waiters speak little English, I have become particularly adept at impersonating Broccoli with Garlic. It is not easy.

They way they prepare it there is Heavenly. It is crisp, shiny, bright green and so very tasty. I have as yet been singularly unable to reproduce it, my efforts (steaming, boiling, nuking, frying) have resulted in something much more boring.

Anybody knows how the Worthy Oriental Gents do broccoli?

PS: Fresh White Asparagus with chopped hard boiled eggs, chopped quality ham and half a kilo of melted butter. Nowt else, it´s perfect.

2nd Jun 2008, 12:01
I think you need one of those little, round bamboo thingies to steam your broccoli. The Chinese just give it enough time to call it cooked, I think.

There must be a cookbook that will give you the secret of its preparation but I have never succeeded in making anything Chinese that would come at all close to the quality of the cooking in even the humblest of their kitchens.

I like asparagus but not drowned in butter. That is disgusting! I realise that I am in the minority here but that is so. Naked and lightly salted is the way to go there.

You know if you start manicuring the veg prior to purchase, well, where do you stop? Pluck the broccoli, yank the caps off the mushrooms, cut the green stuff off the fresh carrots... and what about when you buy meat and they put it in a plazzie bag ON THE SCALES! Okay, it's only a few grammes but you aren't going to eat the bag, so why should you pay for it? Just tell the lady, "No bag thanks," and put the mince in your hat.

While you are at it, check out the toilet rolls, when they promise X number of squares. Unroll it and count them; you cannot be too sure of getting a square deal nowadays!

Then you have using "Mexican Overdrive." That is when you put the car into neutral on the downhill sectors, when you can travel for free. Okay, sometimes you might crash, but otherwise, look at all the fuel you are saving!

Wasn't it one of the Gettys, famously rich, who had a pay telephone in his mansion, guests, for the use of? I bet he kept an eye on this sort of stuff. You probably got three stalks of asparagus with your meal and if you wanted butter, well, there was a vending machine in the hall.

2nd Jun 2008, 12:06
My one-time chinese neighbours used to blanch it in boiling water for 30 secs, then into iced water (which both gives it a little moisture to help it steam itself when you stir-fry it, and fix the bright green colour), dried it on kitchen paper then stir-fried it briefly (probably with ginger and garlic) .

2nd Jun 2008, 12:44
"I have become particularly adept at impersonating Broccoli with Garlic."

Got a video?

2nd Jun 2008, 13:38
While you are at it, check out the toilet rolls, when they promise X number of squares.

In an attempt to drift this thread, if you do you search for the number of squares, you may need to know that many supermarket price tags use a refeshingly useful unit of measurement instead of "squares";


Of course, that implies rationing to military standards, but so much better for the planet.

2nd Jun 2008, 15:04
While on expedition training, with supplies limited, we found you can get 600 shts per roll...

...if you use both sides. :oh:

(Howzat for serious thread drift? :} )

2nd Jun 2008, 16:16
One agrees with selfloadingcargo in that Stilton is excellent with celery and brown bread as is a local version that we have here called Edilpilz.

One has one of them Chinese bamboo steamers Chucks, but still cannot cook broccoli in true Chinese style. One will have to try the method suggested by selfloadingcargo.

2nd Jun 2008, 17:14
I hear that broccoli is full of antioxidants.

Don't antioxidants stop you going rusty?

2nd Jun 2008, 18:14
All these round-eyes buy the cookbooks, the wok, the little bamboo wotsit, the goofy-looking ladle made of bamboo and twisted wire... but they still cannot cook to the standard of someone raised from infancy in an ancient culinary culture to be an expert cook.

Well, let's see them match Elvis when it comes to making something quick, appetising and nutritious from a large loaf of white bread, a whole jar of peanut butter and a side of bacon. If a chip butty is a gut-bomb then that is a tactical nuke and best of all it is all-American!

Chinese is not the only food culture in the world, you know and broccoli although under-rated is over-rated! I'm a junk-food junkie and proud of that! (Well, I used to be, until one of those boring physicians read my horoscope for me so that I suddenly decided to eat my broccoli and shut the f*ck up! Check out how many years Elvis made to see what I am referring to here.)

Enough of this drift, though. Let us get back to the original question: practical and also legal ways to cut, cut, cut those rising food bills. "Dumpster-diving," anyone?

2nd Jun 2008, 22:42
Well, let's see them match Elvis when it comes to making something quick, appetising and nutritious from a large loaf of white bread, a whole jar of peanut butter

You left out the banana. ;)

tony draper
2nd Jun 2008, 22:45
And the frying pan.:)

2nd Jun 2008, 23:09
What, you mean he put a goddam banana in there too? I better get busy with Google here and check out my facts before mouthing off about my native cuisine.

I remembered the white loaf (I think it was one particular brand of white bread), the peanut butter (an American invention) and the bacon but I must have blanked out the banana. If so, and I have to think you are correct, why did he stop there? Surely a touch of marshmallow cream (500 grammes, say) shoved up there with the banana and a light drizzle of chocolate sauce would raise this thing to the level of the sublime.

The frying pan was for the bacon? Or did the whole monstrous thing end up pan-fried?

Why are we wasting money on cluster bombs? We could just drop these killer sarnies instead.

tony draper
2nd Jun 2008, 23:21
I believe Elvis's fav was a fried banana sarnie,Lady who used to do for him demonstrated the method of manufacture one of these delicicies in a documentary about the King but one forgets the details twer def fried in butter though
One is quite fond of banana sarnies oneself,brown bread thickly buttered well ripe banana squshed onto same sprinkled wil sugar,spiffing.

henry crun
3rd Jun 2008, 00:20
Juud: I would guess that the crispness is related to a short cooking time, and the bright green might well be a result of adding a pinch of bicarbonate of soda.

Bi-carb can do the same to other green vegetables which lose some their colour while cooking.

3rd Jun 2008, 02:03
One is quite fond of banana sarnies oneself,brown bread thickly buttered well ripe banana squshed onto same sprinkled wi' sugar,spiffing.Personally, I prefer the banana to be 'firm' (though not green). I mash the flesh in a bowl using a fork and add sugar (brown demerara or muscova if available) then spread it on lightly-toasted granary bread spread with butter.

Bi-carb can do the same to other green vegetables which lose some their colour while cooking.Dried marrowfat peas used to come with a tablet of bicarb which was added to the soak-water (I'm talking 1950s).

3rd Jun 2008, 02:20
Anyone who starts a thread with this sort of title and didn't expect such a reaction must be from another planet...

Stir fry by all means but yes, blanch first, refresh and then s/f with more garlic than you would normally think appropriate, and oyster sauce and light soy sauce to taste.

Another way is to take the florets, having discarded the stalk in Sainsbury's and put into an ovenproof dish. Drizzle over a little oil, some chopped garlic, some cumin powder and chilli flakes to taste, toss it all around and bake in a 220C oven for 20 - 30 mins (depends how small you cut the florets).

3rd Jun 2008, 02:23
Then discard . . .

3rd Jun 2008, 06:27
No one willing to think outside the box by diving inside the box, then? Oh, well...

I was mixed up about Elvis' diet. There is the "Elvis sandwich" and there is "Fool's Gold," two different ways to o/d on calories. I did some research using Wikipedia and here's what I think I know:

The "Elvis sandwich" is just two slices of white bread with peanut butter and banana slices, also perhaps fried bacon strips, pan-fried. His cook at Graceland used to make these for him. I guess he would have had to eat a dozen to really do himself harm.

The "Fool's Gold" sandwich came from a Denver restaurant and was made from an entire loaf of "Italian" bread (no idea what that means) buttered and baked in the oven, cut in half lengthwise and hollowed out then filled with an entire jar of grape jelly, another one of peanut butter and an entire package of bacon. The whole thing sold for $100, hence the name, but it was served with champagne. No bananas were harmed in the production of this sandwich.

I could swear I read about Elvis making a sandwich by hollowing out a white sandwich loaf and cramming it with peanut butter and bacon but I guess that was a mixed-up retelling of the recipe for "Fool's Gold."

There is a famous story about Elvis and his entourage flying all the way from Memphis to Denver to eat 22 of these monster sandwiches in the wee hours of the morning. His well-known generosity included inviting the crew of his Convair 880 to join the party. Yes, if I were flying cross-country at five in the morning then I would want one or two of these under my belt!

Come on, though, this original poster needs help with cutting his food costs. Enough chit-chat and what about that? I know that when I was living in England I used to see lists of where you could buy groats 2p cheaper and the store I shopped at always had these big, bright-coloured stickers showing what was reduced in price. They had one cabinet with stuff that was going out of date that always drew a crowd, when you had to be on your toes to snag a bargain.

Mine was a micro-wave lifestyle then so that I did not focus on this issue of stalking broccoli but here it is so let's treat it with the respect it deserves. I bet there were some amazing bargains in the dumpsters out back but, is that legal? If broccoli tastes lousy to begin with, can it taste that much worse when it's limp and mouldy? Should I feed a bit to my pet rat and then wait and if so, how long? Would a pet monkey be a better, safer choice for this sort of work? Does the RSPCA become involved in this processs at some point? Is there a web-site for dumpster-divers? Can you use a bungee cord and make a sport out of this?

3rd Jun 2008, 08:30
Is there a web-site for dumpster-divers? Freegan.info (http://freegan.info/)

3rd Jun 2008, 09:07
Upon reflection, given that the florettes have a crumbly texture when cooked, one has decided that it is indeed OK to seperate the stalks from the florettes before proceeding to the check-out. However, it is the florettes that should be discarded and left behind.

On the subject of dumpster diving, reduced cost vegetable acquisition and other such nonsense, in the days before 24/7 opening Sainsbury's in Ruislip would lower the price of perishables by 50% at 4pm on Saturdays. A mob of OAPs would form up by the vegetable racks from about 3.30pm. Mrs B turned up at 3.55 one Saturday and having picked a nice cucumber, was set upon by an irate granny who declared that the cucumber was hers, as she had been waiting 20 minutes for it. Mrs B advised her that the only way she was getting it was eight inches up her backside; Mrs B is no lady when she has her dander up. :rolleyes:

3rd Jun 2008, 09:10
...of course, adding bicarb to the veg destroys most of the nutrients and almost all the vitamins (if you care about that sort of thing)

3rd Jun 2008, 09:18
Not quite what I was looking for.

I did like the bit about discarding the notion of "private property" as long as I can find others willing to share theirs while keeping their hands off mine but I think I need something a bit sportier.

These "freegans" just come across as common-or-garden-variety scroungers, really, albeit with a nice line in rhetoric. It reminded me of Sunray Minor, in fact! All this guilt-tripping of major corporations or the whole sick, capitalist edifice in fact, just to rationalise a bit of creeping around looking for "something for nothing," that same old boring, socialist trip.

I was thinking more of something where you find a dumpster placed where you could affix a bungee cord above it and then make a screaming death-plunge to emerge grasping your prize: a slightly detumescent broccoli, a pork chop with a slight case of penicillin, cottage cheese that looked like the surface of the "Forbidden Planet," that sort of thing.

The first thing would be the challenge of getting your sums right. Not to be unfair but many folks on the socialist end of the social spectrum come across as only semi-numerate, so that they might disappear into the dumpster to be followed by a loud "Ka-longg!"

That would be recorded as "One less oxygen thief!" by the judging panel, unfortunately. There would be nil points for the contestant but he would get loud and enthusiatic applause from the spectators.

If you manage the bungee jump then you should go home to your squat, by hitch-hiking presumably, to cook your prize (not forgetting to dragoon Basil into doing some food-tasting first) on your solar wok, eat it and not puke. All of this to be recorded and judged as yet another modern sport.

Perhaps this could be part of a sort of "Big Brother" show based on a household of "freegans." Each day they should go out into the city (anyone else noticed how they seem to live in town, not out in the countryside?) to have their little adventures, returning to share their prizes with Basil and the rest.

3rd Jun 2008, 09:54
As Mrs B and I approach that part of our lives where we are obliged to join the Saturday evening "50%" mob, that bungee-jumping proposal looks attractive. Much more fun than the traditional scramble - and it protects one from irate wage-earner housewives threatening to stuff cucumbers up one's nether regions.

As long as the rules of the game permit "Over-Sixty" players to use our free bus passes to return to our hovels with dignity, rather than tottering along with our tartan shopping trolleys, trying to hitch a ride from uncaring Chelsea Tractor drivers.

3rd Jun 2008, 10:41
I think there might be a problem with using a bus pass. There you are part of the whole sick, capitalist edifice, really.

I think it really would have to be hitch-hiking unless you were willing to lose some points. Well, perhaps we could do a deal where the wrinklies use the bus pass but call that "hitch-hiking" by using the "stop on demand" bus stops instead of the ones where the bus is programmed to stop. That is almost like hitch-hiking, except for paying your own way. Should a freegan get equal points by riding the bus without a ticket?

You know, I think this idea really has "legs!" How about one stalk of broccoli down there in the dumpster but two bungee-jumpers side by side? That could be just as exciting as the action there at the discount foods cabinet. We would need dumpsters made of Perspex (Plexi-glass) for this, of course.

As a matter of fact it was a Sainsbury's I did my London shopping in, the one in the East End near the "Blind Beggar" pub. It was the only supermarket within walking distance of my cheap digs. My classmate would ride the bus to Tesco's just to save a few pounds since he was being funded from home. I really didn't feel like doing battle to save a few pence so that I mostly stayed away from that discount cabinet until the feeding frenzy subsided, when I could just scrounge a slightly soggy sandwich.

3rd Jun 2008, 12:03
I'd forgotten about students. We must make it a team sport with Students v OAPs competing for the leftovers in order to win the Brocolli Stalk world championships. Could we get Bernie Ecclestone interested one wonders? He's getting on a bit.

tony draper
3rd Jun 2008, 12:06
Did some work in a Sainsburys Store once through the back where the civilians int allowed were shelves of goods that had either reached there sell by date or would do so on the morrow,they were for sale to staff members at ridiculous low prices,one got one's peepers on a large Black Forrest Gateux(sp?)of which one is fond for bout 20p but was told by the harridan in charge of this cheap grub to feckorf because I was not real staff,the bitch!!:suspect::rolleyes: