View Full Version : "Hi, my names Gordon and I'm calling you today...."

Krystal n chips
30th May 2008, 18:38
Now what would the unbiased, pragmatic and benign members of JB say :hmm:...should the call materialise of course......chance of a lifetime ! :ok::E

Mind you, if he hadn't considered resigning before...he probably would after a conversation with those on here ! ;):E


30th May 2008, 18:40
As I understand it it's only those who have written to Gordon complaining about something that get the calls. Maybe Gordon is wanting to dissuade folk by calling them back at 6am . . .

luvly jubbly
30th May 2008, 18:41
I would politely point out that I can't afford these:


Now, if only he hadn't abolished the 10p tacks:{

30th May 2008, 18:52
"Hello - this is Gordon Brown. I'd like to take your advice on what I should do"....

Oh, don't you just wish it?

"Please call Virgin Galactic. Book a one way...." for a start...


30th May 2008, 19:04
I find that whole exercise pointless.

If Gordon Brown (I almost called him GWB without the 'W' until I stopped myself) should call anyone, it should be limited to calling the duly-elected members of parliament on a regular basis (of whatever political persuasion). If anyone should be calling the general public for a chat, it should be an MP, someone who reputedly represents the public (when they're not fighting UK courts over their expenses and publication thereof)... :ok:

Otherwise, I would treat it all as mere propaganda (of the same sort that got us into invading Iraq). :mad:

Beatriz Fontana
30th May 2008, 19:17
Apparently this stunt is to show the country that he's listening.

Tell you what Gordon, here's an idea. Stop b:mad:y listening and start doing something!!

The usual rumours of the annual summer reshuffle aren't circulating around Westminster this year. My sources reckon this is because there'll be a rather major reshuffle in the PM department before then!!

30th May 2008, 19:18
I can see Rory Bremner having a field day with this one....."Gordon, Gordon Who?", no I don't need any double glazing etc - I can't wait!!

30th May 2008, 20:41
Maybe we could invite him to start a thread on JB, and we could communicate through that:ok:

30th May 2008, 20:48
Now what was that song by Jilted John? Oh yes: "Gordon is a Moron".

glad rag
30th May 2008, 20:50
www.cybernat.************* (http://cybernat.*************/)

bizzare, anyway *************

guess thats a NO then :ooh:

31st May 2008, 06:54
Just another NuLabour PR stunt to show what a caring and considerate PM we have.

I remember a few years ago on Question Time when TB was ardently taking notes on comments from the audience.

Personally I would have just set the VCR (in those days) and reviewed it when I got back home.

But I guess nobody would be around to see how genuinely concerned I was.

31st May 2008, 08:58
he's lost the plot. He can't delegate, micro-manages his cabinet, and is now trying to deal direct with the public. The next step is the white jacket.....

Effluent Man
31st May 2008, 09:37
He understands politics reasonably well but doesn't do a good job on communication,as has been observed this is a stunt.
Gordon Brown has quite a lot in common with John Major.He is essentially a bean counter and the personal phone call tactic is very much along the lines of the famous soapbox.
What saved Major in '92,and the Tories were aghast when he won,was that despite the economic situation being every bit as bad as it is now he was up against Kinnock,who was Welsh and bald and perceived as a windbag.Plus as little Kelvin never ceases telling us "It was the Sun wot won it".
On a personal level I am quite interested in politics and at least we are back in interesting times.I think that if Blair had stayed we would have seen him going to parliament on a Zimmer frame.Whatever your opinion of him,(and mine are very dubious on some aspects e.g. religion) he had elections weighed up.

Hot tip for 2010 : Hung parliament

31st May 2008, 09:54
Can Brown actually communicate about anything at all? I just heard a sound bite on the World Service and it is just the same old stuff about "firm determination for long policies in the long term right directions"...crap. He is so lacking any charisma at all......

31st May 2008, 09:57
A hung parliament would be my ideal. Hung parliaments have to tread carefully and stick to important public issues, and isn't that what government is really all about?

After Thatcherism, Bliarism and now Gordom I'm heartily sick of social policy, party politics, the right thing to do and all the nonsense. I want action on why it takes a week or two to get an appointment to see a doctor, why the paving stones are all higgledy-piggledy and why my bins are emptied once a fortnight, whereas when I lived in the developing world, they were emptied three times a week. :ugh:

31st May 2008, 11:14
Hung parliament? Please no - let's have some firm leadership - in the right direction!

31st May 2008, 16:07
A hung parliament would be my ideal.

OK, but I think it would have to be done in stages as I don't think that there is a gallows with over six hundred places available. :}

31st May 2008, 16:17
Can Brown actually communicate about anything at all? I just heard a sound bite on the World Service and it is just the same old stuff about "firm determination for long policies in the long term right directions"...crap. He is so lacking any charisma at all......
Well said SOPS.

He is all wind and no action. The symptoms of a career politician with no idea how the real world functions.

What are his actual policies apart from "looking into things" and "reviewing"?

Richard Taylor
31st May 2008, 16:43
But he's listening...:hmm:

Rather be Gardening
31st May 2008, 16:49
Oh yes, he's definitely listening ......


1st Jun 2008, 09:10
I just heard on "Politics UK" that the average tax take per person in the UK is up 50% (no typo) since 2000.

Perhaps when Gordy calls you can ask him when he will just give you food stamps in exchange for everything you earn.:bored:

Effluent Man
1st Jun 2008, 12:08
Bear in mind 8 years inflation at 3% compounded will account for 26% of that.The media love to exaggerate a point,it makes a better story.

Doors to Automatic
1st Jun 2008, 12:39
OK so it's up 24% in real terms - still a scandal given that virtually all of it has been wasted on politically correct non-jobs and supporting "Shameless" types rather than channeling it to the important areas like schools, hospitals and building more prisons.

Effluent Man
1st Jun 2008, 13:17
I won't argue with the "Shameless" bit.Unfortunately the real life ones are rather nastier and less entertaining than Frank Gallagher and Co.

It doesn't end there though there are whole tiers of expense dedicated to schemes that produce nothing. I supply vehicles to one council run scheme and it's always "the price doesn't matter". I don't take advantage of this attitude to profiteer but I probably could be persuaded to reduce the prices were there any element of negotiation involved.

The CEO of this particular body has just negotiated a 200k annual salary,which she assures everyone she is worth.No political party will tackle this profligacy however,this one is Tory run.

3rd Jun 2008, 17:17
Just back from a London trip. I read with interest an article in the Times about MP allowances.

One person, it stated , had claimed enough "traveling allowance" to drive her car around the world twice!! It stated Gordon has even claimed replacment light bulbs!!

Now I understand..he pays for nothing!!!...so he has no concept that normal people have to. And he has a bad need to micro manage every part of everybodys life....so....

So, lets take for example fuel costs. The poor old truck (Lorry?) drivers in the UK cant afford to fill the tank anymore. As PM SOPS, I might think..well lets lower the tax take on fuel..that should help.....

PM Gordy will think....I will deliver a long term policy direction that will involve a tax credit rebate card for Lorry Drivers that exceed the the lowest threshold amount, but not above a pre determined CO2 EU emission standard directive, this will involve a rebate of 5p (insert amount) in the gallon on each Lorry that drives in a anti clockwise direction on the M5 on any day that starts with "T". The new rebate card will be administered by a new department, The Fuel Rebate Division, which will produce jobs for another 650 public servants. The rebate cards will be available at Post Offices (if they are not being closed), but only at a application fee of 100 pounds, with a valid ID card being produced. Thye cost of this, as I am dertimined to provide the right long term policy directions for the even longer term, will be paid for by a new "drive way tax", that will involve a charge of 3 pounds to park any vechile above 720 kgs (approved registerd weight as per EU directive 4.4.22111) anywhere within 25 yards of a servicable petrol pump within the UK. All new cars will be required to be weighed at new approved weigh stations that will be set up...in my forward vision of long term policies..accross the country at a cost of 400 million pounds. This amount will be recovered by the "weigh in " fee that will be attached to the cost of a new or second hand car of 350 pounds......................

But..he can claim all this back. It costs him nothing. He has no idea how it hurts people...this is why he is, and they all are, sooooooooooo out of touch:ok:

3rd Jun 2008, 21:15
A mate of mine, whose more politically aware than I am, assures me that our Mr Broon:

1. Can't drive and has never run a car or bought a gallon of petrol in his life.

2. Is gay. Or as they say in parliamentary circles 'is a confirmed batchelor'.

Anyone care to comment on the veracity of these claims.

4th Jun 2008, 12:25
He cant drive, due to an eye injury in early life...cant comment on the rest of the alligations!!

4th Jun 2008, 12:53
Absolute Bolleaux that he can't drive because of an eye injury! My father lost an eye when his Spitfire was shot down in 1942 and he was driving right up until he died in 1999, with never so much as a scratch on his car!

Convenient use of injuries, methinks


4th Jun 2008, 22:14
I'd just tell him to **** off and stop wasting my time and to tell his mob of wasters to stop sullying the Houses of Parliament with their presence and get the hell out. (PC.... not me..). Come the revolution....

Dak Mechanic
5th Jun 2008, 09:29
For info SOPS, the correct directive for Masses and Dimensions of Motor Vehicles (Passenger Cars) is 92/21/EEC as amended by 95/48/EEC (including Corrigendum). For all other vehicles use 97/27/EEC Consolidated to 2003/19/EEC.

I think I need to get a life...

If Gordon calls, I shall thank him for letting inflation increase thus decreasing the relative value of my debts!

Anyway, I'm going to Japan for 3 years so what do I care :)

JC San

Effluent Man
5th Jun 2008, 10:16
It depends on how effective his other eye is,if it isn't perfect then he won't get a licence.The "Gay" bit. Well Ted Heath certainly was but in those days two men could get away with living together and hardly a thought was given to it.

Mrs.E had an uncle who did just that,and both were ballroom dancing enthusiasts and one worked in a gent's outfitters,it didn't occur to the family that they might be (Gay dear? Me Dear? No dear!) In the final analysis it's irrelevant to his ability,or lack of as a PM.

6th Jun 2008, 21:19
The present incumbent of our village butchers (a good friend) worked for the previous owner for three years before taking over the business 18 months ago.
At that time he took on the three staff (one of whom was his wife) plus himself, now it's just him - although his wife has worked for nothing 2 days a week.
He knew it would be tough and that it would take a couple of years for the business to break even, all that was included in the business plan, however, in the last 8 months his basic running costs have spiralled.
Competition from supermarkets is not to blame - the number of customers hasn't gone down, he simply hasn't been able to pass on the increasing costs.

Last week he paid himself 97 (before tax) and this week it will nothing.

For the last 6 months he's been supporting the business with his own savings, now there's nothing less and unless a miracle occurs the business will close in 5 weeks time.

At 31, he'll probably lose everything he's ever worked for and will probably be made bankrupt.
He's not after sympathy or charity, all he wants is to run his own business, work hard and make a success of it and this Government has nearly wiped him out.

If Gordon brown had the balls to cold call him tomorrow morning, I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

flying bizzie
6th Jun 2008, 22:27

A sad story indeed. No doubt this sort of thing is happening on a daily basis throughout the land.

However, what makes me so bloody angry is when you read reports of our 'honourable' MP's & MEP's paying their families vastly over exaggerated salaries for the so called work they do for this bunch of duplicitous wasters.

If I or your friend conducted our business affairs in such a way, we'd be in the slammer faster than you could say 'gravy train'.

7th Jun 2008, 00:54

So can he drive?

And is his wife a beard?

Shuely shomeone nos.

Must say. He looks like a giant puff, to me:rolleyes:

7th Jun 2008, 11:48
Thanks Dak...next time I will do better research:ok:

Effluent Man
7th Jun 2008, 12:02
niknak, That story really doesn't add up.What were the three staff doing? If the number of customers has not gone down he couldn't possibly manage without them.

In my experience the tricky thing about running a small business is getting the right staff and then managing between good trading periods and slack.I run a garage that sells about 200 used cars a year,there is me (seven day week),one employee (six days) and a valeter hired in (half a week).

This would be great if my 200 sales were spread over the year at 4 a week.Last year however my months varied between 3 and 25,so you have a couple of months paying someone to do nothing and a couple paying overtime to keep up.

My guess with your butcher is that the supermarkets are his problem.Our local butcher is having the same trouble despite the fact that he sells better meat at a lower price.People just love to "one stop shop".Petrol filling stations have also been affected by this.It's difficult to see an answer other than for all the butchers ending up working for Tesco et al.