Single Life At Emirates

[krypton727]

It seems alot of people are married. How's life for us single folk?:sad:

[fractional]

Wonderful! It's just a matter of time for you to meet loads of very nice girls...:). It's a great opportunity to save some money. Education and housing are expensive if you have to pay them yourself. EK is pretty generous. The same cannot be said down the road at EY.

[dubble_dubble]

Wow! A positive comment!

I cant believe it:E

[Craic Ore]

I can end that pretty fast!

A few of my friends are single and I think the first year or two are great, then they realize they're saving nothing and shut down a large portion of their single life.

Can't say as I've met an extremely happy single guy who's been here over 5 years. That is unless he's an out east bidder.........:O

[Lord Flashhart]

Craic Ore- You are not single, so your comments and what you THINK aren't valid.

Let the singlies speak for themselves.

[MrMachfivepointfive]

Pretty much like in any other major city. The nightlife is good, but can be pricey. A lot of young single folks is out and about for fun.
You can even upgrade. I arrived single, enjoyed the meat pods for some time, then found the one for me and got married.

[Cyberbird]

Single Live !? What single live - please !?! my lady left my back to europe layst year - she just coudn't bear crappy Dubai any more ... and i doubt i'll find another missus under the predominantly far-eastern &very young ladies, who are replacing the Aussie- & Kiwi & european girls, who are leavin' us in masses :{

[Payscale]

Noone has managed to stay single for 5 years! thats why. Enjoy the meat. When the novelty wears out...which it will..... you find a beautiful one and live happiely ever after

[Yo767]

and i doubt i'll find another missus under the predominantly far-eastern &very young ladies, who are replacing the Aussie- & Kiwi & european girls, who are leavin' us in masses

Hey Cyber''bird'', why don't you taste the far eastern cuisine instead of treating those fine ladies as if they were less than human?

I guarantee you will forget your fat european mommie pretty quick.

Once you've gone far east, you never go back.

Long live the king!

[sispanys ria]

I agree, Cyberbird comment isn't very smart. It's up to you to preffer "Aussie- & Kiwi & european girls". IMHO, you'd better stay home if all you can bear is what you left. And you know, sometimes it's not bad to find ladies that you don't need to fill in with booze...:ok:

[Bypass ratio]

Completely out of control:ok::ok::ok::ok::ok::ok::ok::ok::ok::ok:

[Mullah Kintyre]

I came out here with a wife and am married again now so I feel maybe I speak with a little authority on this topic. There is a lot of fun to be had for the un-married or un-happily married fellas at Emirates. We can sum up the nationalities amongst the CC pretty much as follows:

English totty – Bad-teeth slappers with large memories but generally fun if you can get past the accents. Prone to run to fat.
Aussies –They need a bit of time to work out the games they played back home don’t work here. They’re liable to have been “lebanised” at least once or twice before they figure it out and “lower” themselves to trying a pilot.
S. Africans – Can be a bit weird. Churchy, too, but skilled excavators of rare metals. If you marry one there shouldn't be a problem with whose country to move back to one day.
Kiwis – Funny accent. Not knowing much about the big wide world, they’ll give anything a try.
Koreans – Either devoutly religious or one-pot screamers. Worth a look.
Japanese – Very polite but not much in the titular dept.
Thais – Clingy with pushed-in noses. Silly. Good cooks.
Malaysians – Same noses but with fish-breath thrown in.
Indians – Some beauties to be found if you don’t mind Eau de Curry and a wobbly head.
MELT – (Morroccan, Egyptian, Lebo-nese, Tunisian) The locals fellas don’t go after the Morroccans for nothing, you know... the rest, well, generally surly with the occasional mono-brow. Lazy in the work place = lazy in the sack?
Pilipinose – Expert breeders.
Iranians – Not that many but usually pleasant and occasionally not bad-looking. Not at all crazy like their president. Not sure if they put out though.
Eastern European – No risk of smile lines ever marring their blonde-haired, blue-eyed good looks. Hungry. Handy with a knife. Proceed with caution.
Kenyans - They wear wigs but you can see them a mile away even at night. Some good reviews.
Brazilians - Easily the pick of the lot. Most of their own men are bi-, homo- or trans- sexuals. They're keen to re-locate but hardly need the extra motivation as their natural outlook easily blows away any of the above. Very good-looking. Broad-minded. Needless to say, the "Brazilian" was aptly-named.
There’s a lot of fun to be had and you don’t have to try that hard even if, like me, you’re not blessed with good looks. As said above, Dubai is plastic and fake so try the girls in economy class as they will try a little harder to improve their situation above the other chicks. Which ever you prefer, they're all keen to be invited back to your place so they can get away from their two flatmates. Easy.

[Desert Diner]

Mullah: :ok::ok::ok::ok::ok:

[woodja51]

That post would have to be one of the most accurate I have ever come across on this site. I came to EK 8 years ago single and had a BALL!!!

The best I ever did was 5 nationalities in 24 hours - and I didn't even leave my villa.. but it did cost me a bottle of wine.. sorry to indulge my past luck ( and I am just an av guy - not slick lebo!

perhaps that is bragging but it was a fact... and I was almost 40 too... so come and enjoy!!! ( never had a three some .... until I came to DXb and managed to convince girlfriend it would be good for her a few times.... ended in tears but hey goes into the memoirs!

BTW - now married to a cool Aussi girl again so life is a bit different but fun in another type of way! There are plenty of stories like this - it is disney world for adults... just head to rattle snake to confirm it!

Go for it !!!

[4HolerPoler]

:ok: Post of the week (will almost certainly be the month) award Mullah Kintyre. :ok:

This is what this site used to be all about before the wannabees & whingers took it over.

Thanks for making me smile after my rugby team let me down today.

4HP

[barkingboris]

Excellent post by Mullah.
Have only just stopped laughing.
He was spot on.
I am a japie but he did neglect to say that the SA girls here do have an attitude and think they are something special when in fact most of them are far from that :ok:

[40&80]

In the interests of fair play....Would an Emirates lady care to provide her user report of the flight deck?

[brassplate]

hey gf has some of that too. only uglier, older, and usually the leftovers from failed ek, ey interviews.:}

[sispanys ria]

I think it's a really disgusting way of describing human beings (not to say racist).

when you find yourself writing such crap, you definitely have a problem with women. I guess all you can get is thanks to your Ek crew status (not to mention some wine or even cash). As a single, I wouldn't consider it as a reference. If you're married, I would say your wife should be the best advice for whoever is looking for the ride of his life, since she must be the most desperate women of the entire UAE !

If you're not able to respect women you're having fun with (even for one night) you'd better start saving money, since you'll need a lot to keep people around you when you'll become an old & wrinkled a.. hole.

[MrMachfivepointfive]

Mullah - I pissed myself laughing. Each and every word of your post is true gospel. Politically 666 but sooooo true. Let me add:

- Lebo girls: Supposed to be the most beautiful girls on the planet, but with an inferiority complex. They need to proof themselves. Best by shagging YOU.

- UAE: Once the ladies are past their 30s and divorced for the 4th time, they are fed up with their machos and out for some white butts. Try Garhoud block gas station after 22:00.


German/Austrian/Swiss girls: Pick them from Long Bar or Boston Bar after 03:30 when they become sulky and home sick.

Dubai virtually guarantees that nobody goes to bed lonely.

[Desert Diner]

hey gf has some of that too. only uglier, older, and usually the leftovers from failed ek, ey interviews

Not in the 90's they weren't:ok:

Bahrain in the 90's was like one long college fraternity party. Unfortunately a lot of the frat moved to Dubai:(

[EGGW]

Mullah a stunning post, very accurate :ok: Woodja, you must tell me more over a bevvy one day :E:E
Sispanys, get a life mate.

EGGW

[sispanys ria]

EGGW thanks for the advice :ok:

As a moderator aren't you supposed to moderate ? What about this guy reducing indian girls to curry smell and lebanese to prostitutes ? Come on, you don't have to talk that way in public, as you said, you can do it during one of your booze session. Just be decent please.

[NG_Kaptain]

"As a moderator aren't you supposed to moderate ? What about this guy reducing indian girls to curry smell and lebanese to prostitutes ? Come on, you don't have to talk that way in public, as you said, you can do it during one of your booze session. Just be decent please."

Lighten up sispanys ria.:)

[bus canuck]

You mean we have "skippers" who write worse than a 4 year old?:eek:

Anyway, laughter is good for the soul and mullah, you made me spit up my Cheerios laughing! :ok:

[ironbutt57]

Good post Mullah sums it up quite accurately:ok:

[fractional]

Mullah Kintyre, you have got quite a following now.:cool:

[McGreaser]

Nice one Mullah.............I hereby nominate you for Knighthood, Sir Mullah !:ok::ok:

[Wiley]

OK, I'll do the "right of reply" on behalf of "the goirls" of all ethnic and regional varieties.

Do you know how many types of orgasms flight attendants have?

The answer is four.

1. There's the affirmation orgasm: "Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yes!"
2. The denial orgasm: "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
3. The holy orgasm: "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"
4. ... and last by not least, the fake orgasm: "Oh Captain! Oh Captain! Oh Captain!"


True as this may or may not be, sadly, for the girls, the men get the last word, for the standard answer to #4 by 99.9% of males is: "Who cares?"


...and sispanys ria; if you're male, lighten up, mate.

[desertopsguy]

The funniest post I've read in like forever... It's like something straight outta Monty Python...can imagin em running through the list with the accents n' all...

But you never mentioned the stuck uo Lebos who speak pidgin French to try to disassociate themselves from the other Arabs.

I'm still laughinh, Cracked me up..

[woodja51]

Must know each other fairly closely for you to quote JE (RIP) as there arent many that know that one... and gotta agree with all your extra nationalities...

Hey life is too short to get too serious about this stuff... it takes two to tango and most of it is harmless fun...

the fact that girls complain about how hard it is to find a nice guy in DXB is due to the other girls!! come back to the real world and it is hard yakka to get lucky as in DXB girls can escape any bad rep they get...

And does the 'air synapsis' sispanys ria handle mean any thing or am I dumb? maybe like ... air head???

[emratty]

Mullah that is the best post on pprune i have ever read!! Still laughing two hours later:ok::ok:

[MrMachfivepointfive]

Krypton?
Krypton??
Krypton???
You became awfully quiet after your first post.
Anyway - as you can see: Dubai is pure hell for the single male. Only beaten by Tehran. (Believe me: You have no concept of whats happening at the parties there).
Sexist? Racist?? So???
A wise man once said: An absence of stereotypes indicates a lack of critical judgement.

[sispanys ria]

What's worse is my own kind are in that list. Can you guess which?

It's only females in that list, isn't it ?

Talking childish crap like you do is one thing, being proud of it is another. I'm not asking you to be a gentleman, but just to be little bit more respectful towards people not sharing what you call an open minded point of view.
If this list describes all of the girls you've met in your life, I must say I'm really sorry for you buddy. By the way you compare French & Moroccan, I can say you never tried any of them, even if you seem to go for anything with a pussy !

Anyway, once you finished spraying your legacy on "the meat" you entertained using some cash, you must be a very lonely guy. Keep that way and your heart will be as empty as your balls, bed and wallet.

[EK Snorkel]

......even if you seem to go for anything with a pussy !

What do you go for? "Curry buts"? :}

[Saltaire]

Now this is good humor. I flew with a CC recently telling me about the "nice guy" that lives in Millenium with a large balcony including a hot tub :D
That must be one busy elevator....Does he need a lifeguard for hire? I'm available for some charity work...

[NO FD NO SRS]

it is so refreshing to have this thread in pprune.lately pprune has been bit boring.guys lets learn from mullah,there is more to talk about in pprune than slagging management over and over again.

[Capetonian]

I just happened upon this post whilst searching for information on something else. LOVED Mullah's summary - so accurate and so funny. (And delightfully politically incorrect!)

[Kamelchaser]

Oh for heaven's sake..there's always some sis(sy) who wants to throw cold water on a hot (and hilarilous) posting!

In the first few years in the sandpit, you have a tendency to be a bit racist..comes with the frustration of dealing with the intitial bureaucracy. Afetr that, most people ease towards realism and pragmatism. That's simply the way it is...and you learn to deal with it.

Sis...tell us which part of Mullah's post is not close to the truth? Yes, albeit a hint of stereotype....but pretty damn accurate if you ask me after 10 years in the region.

[sheikmyarse]

Another big plane small zick case! So common in EK.
Still I'm stunned by the level of ethics and morality shown in this masterpiece
I suggest the moderator to start moderating what really needs to be moderated. Racist content for a start.
Is this aviation related? I'll make it so. Recent studies confirm that moral integrity and ethics plays a role in the way you act in critical moments... I think you have a problem but you are far from being alone.. mate!

[yoyonow]

sheik,

Would your:

alone.. mate!

Have any racist undertones? Just asking

[GoreTex]

he bit the bullet and scarified his body to do research for all of us, a true hero in my eyes

[crazy_max]

Mullah, thank you. I was having a pretty ****ty day in DXB until I read that stroke of genius. It is with no doubt the best post I've read in Pprune in 10 years, even beat out the "you know you've been too long in the Gulf when" post.
I am your fan for life. Thank you.

[harry the cod]

Sheiky

Ever heard the proverb, 'People who live in glass houses should not throw stones'?

Harry

[falconeasydriver]

Just found this thread.....cos its near the top..:8

Mullah...you might have owed me a new laptop...I'm now just wiping the coffee off the sreen and keyboard. Superb post:ok:

[ATC83]

I'm in the same boat as Falconeasydriver...Diet Coke just gone everywhere!!

Even though this PC bollocks has gone to far, it's still great to see people can have a laugh! :ok:

[McGreaser]

........one of the best posts lying in the archives. Nice to see it again. :D

[sheikmyarse]

Ah ah ah...what a laugh!! Really. I don't even find it funny.
Well it has probably to do to the average intellectual level around here...
Management knows!

[radial090]

Crass, Irreverent but absolutely hilarious!

I guess some guys dont go to 18 and over movies, to each his own!

[Wizofoz]

AH, but Cesco, you MUST remember Sheikmyarse's golden rule- ONLY hysterical, nonsensical, negative crap is allowed to be posted about DXB and EK. Even a humourous aside is Management infilltration and propaganda.

I think there's a word for it....

Para....

Paranoi....

Something like that...

[Schibulsky]

c'mon Sheiky... :mad: PC and relax! Isn't humor one of the things you need to survive in the sandpit?

[givemewings]

Oh come on, it was funny if not politically correct, I'm a woman and I laughed. We all know the girls have similar concepts & 'stereotypes' of their own....

Personally if you socialise with us, are easy going and not too strict if we take a bit longer to bring the hot meal up front, willing to come out for dinner & share some good stories, I got no problem with you wherever you're from.

However, send me back to the galley three times because it's the wrong brand of juice or the dish isn't the right pattern, then we got an issue... :cool:

I am sure there's plenty of fun to be had for the "singlies" (love it btw) in Dubai should they be so inclined... just don't kick her out right after, have a nice lie-in and you'll be right :ok:

[Mullah Kintyre]

Gents, the markers have been updated in the meantime:

Lebonese - FIG,JAM. Little effort required on your part, they'll do all the talking. About themselves. Just leave your credit card over the bar at ShoChos. Hairy lower-backs (reportedly).
Americans -Loud and enhanced but great teeth.
Aussies - (Revisited, as they seem to be recruiting a lot) Networked, pick one then stay away from the rest for a while. Long memories. Min 6wks between. Usually not a "cash deal" however you end up paying more with wine, dinner, Al Maha trips, wilful damage to your property, etc.
English - Regulars at the EK clinic. Peak through the window before you go into the waiting room, that's why they put it there. Best leave your wife at home.
Uzbekis - Some absolute stunners with that Russian bloodline. Voraciously hungry. Might be cheaper (long-term) to go this option down at the 'Snake, but use your friend's house!
Scottish - Head-butters; don't make them mad. Screamers.
Irish - Very fertile. Devoutly religious though so don't bother packing latex when you visit her. Use immense self-control and be prepared for the consequences if you misjudge your timing.
French - See Moroccan.
Canadians - Sensible.
Nigerians - Wear two. Don't give them your email address. Keep at least one light on at all times.
Afghans - Hard to tell which one's yours and which one's the bag of rubbish.
Singaporeans - Good in the galley. Speaking of fried eggs: not much on the chest here.
Filipinos - Notoriously sweet and cuddly at first, until you marry her. Then your balls have a blade under them. These women may be small but are known to achieve disproportionate levels of anger when they don't get their way.I hope this information helps guide the younger bucks in EK.

[Capetonian]

Mullah Kintyre : Best post of the year!!

[emiratesson]

I know 3 captains in 3 different airlines which are based in here (UAE) who are single and very happy!:D


did that work :E ?



AAAAAaaargh... :* Okay..They are Divorced...

[Suffering_Pax]

Gold Mullah!!:ok:

I didn't think you get get it more spot on than the previous evaluation, but you have outdone yourself! Downright decent of you to take one for the boys doing the research on this vital subject:E

[Orangputi]

Fantastic what a laugh,
any comments on the Chinese main land girls?

I am single but find the fillies the pick of the lot but very clingy!

Vietnamese like beautiful china dolls but very business like at extracting cash ( the yanks never had a chance)

Girls from Laos like it bareback down there!

Indonesian girls a bit like the Malaysian girls beautiful in there 20's and love you to death but tend to bloat a bit after 30 or so (a bit like our western sisters and for that matter our brothers as well!).

American chicks good teeth but lots of gob and lots of everything else (attitude included)

Subjective political incorrect replies only accepted.

[A320Dreamer]

"Nigerians - Wear two. Don't give them your email address."

Hahah, where do I nominate you for the best post of the year?

[captseth]

This is by far the best thread on PPRune.

[ashcroft79]

I can't believe you guys. I mean honestly how can you look at yourselves in the mirror every day and like the person looking back at you when you treat/talk about others in this way.:= You all should be ashamed.








































I kidd I kidd this is by far one of the funniest threads I think I've ever read :}

[The Turtle]

Mullah's list should be laminated and placed behind the de-icing worksheet!!!

[misd-agin]

givemewings - Oh come on, it was funny if not politically correct, I'm a woman and I laughed. We all know the girls have similar concepts & 'stereotypes' of their own....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't leave the crowd hanging...give us the female version.

[givemewings]

I'd be willing to have a go, however in the interests of accuracy I might require more time for um, researching.... :E

[Cheerio]

Scottish - Head-butters; don't make them mad. Screamers.

Must have been a West coast Catholic. You'll find the East coast Presbyterians much more docile.

[roadrunner21]

To reaffirm Mullahs argument: Todays average woman is pretty good looking ( Image is a composite picture generated using multiple images of women from various nationalities )
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg

[givemewings]

no list yet but here's something for you in the meantime.

In fitting in with the theme of stereotypes on this thread I thought this video sent to me by a friend was pretty damn funny... he had a good layover! (Note: likely to offend if you are a pilot with no sense of humour)

YouTube - Icelandair Crew 2011 Annual Ball Video!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p23BMiRu6o)

(Just wish there was an English translation at the end)

[White Knight]

(Just wish there was an English translation at the end)

There is a translation now in the comments:ok:

Great vid:} Reminds me somewhat of some people I know here ahem:E

[Capetonian]

I'll add a few :

French : Filthy in bed and out.

Swiss : A bit like a Fiat (morel ike an Alfa!) on a cold wet morning. Takes a long time to get them started but once they do, the results can be unexpectedly good, or bad. Usually bad.

Polish : Generally far superior to every other nationality in terms of looks, personality, performance, cleanliness and being good company. Unfortunately sooner or later the question of 'financial assistance' always seems to arise. And when they are bad, they are really bad!

Romanian : See Polish, but minus 10-20% on all counts.

Moldavian : See Romanian but minus another 30% for some of the worst teeth you'll anywhere. I believe Dracula was Moldavian, not Transylanian as per the conventional belief.

Greek : Don't bother.

Afrikaans : Usually at one or other extremity on a scale of liberalism, very few in the middle. Run to fat aged about 30 so nail them while they're still young.

Portuguese : Despite popular beliefs, as good as Spanish but less complicated and easier to maintain. Tend to have the same long term faults though but to a lesser degree.

Moroccan : Half a glass of cheap plonk and they either fall asleep or haul their assets out for inspection.

I think that will do for now!

[Iver]

With all of this great advice, why would any married bloke want to come to the UAE???? I guess you could live vicariously through the single blokes :sad::}:ok::bored:

[bugg smasher]

That is some serious experience at work there, I would like to recommend Mullah for the Chief Pilot's job.:ok:

[cactusbusdrvr]

Loved the part about the Nigerians....my spam box is filled with "your gracious reply is requested...."

You guys are lucky. Every airline in the USA is full of hags and fags...All the attitude - none of the looks.

[givemewings]

Yet another gem courtesy of those Fwd emails... :E

Flight crew layover passes without a single sexual encounter, NTSB and FAA investigating | wineandexcrement.com (http://wineandexcrement.com/flight-crew-layover-passes-without-a-single-sexual-encounter-ntsb-and-faa-investigating/2306/)


In what industry analysts are calling “a first,” news has leaked that an airline crew has completed an overnight layover without a single flight attendant being ravaged.


According to the information, which will appear in an NTSB preliminary report scheduled for release later today, last week an AirTran flight attendant lodged an official complaint with authorities about First Officer Bryce Boikens.



In her written statement, the flight attendant claims that Boikens refused her invitation to join her in her hotel room for, as she put it, “a little somethin’ somethin’.” A National Transportation Go Team rushed to the scene at the airport Marriott in Buffalo and cordoned off the entire fourth floor.


(http://wineandexcrement.com/flight-crew-layover-passes-without-a-single-sexual-encounter-ntsb-and-faa-investigating/2306/486823237_dec8062b41/)(PHOTO: Seen here, a flight attendant on layover sends her captain a compromising photo of herself)



The flight attendant had at first propositioned the captain, as is customary; however, he had spilled his Starbucks on his lap during the last flight and was, understandably, out of service.


Pilots and flight attendants spend numerous hours unsupervised at airport hotels on layover, with easy access to booze and easier access to each other. While “bottle to throttle” rules backed by the threat of random alcohol testing often succeed in moderating alcohol consumption, no such enforceable regulations govern intra-crew rutting. Making for even more fertile fornicating grounds, many flight crew members are gay or bi-curious.


Further, flight attendants frequently take the job in hopes of landing a pilot-husband, while many pilots take the job because they couldn’t get laid otherwise. It’s a marriage of convenience that has served the industry, and the flying public, well since the 1950s.


However, Bryce Boikens’ alleged abstinence clouds that picture, upsetting an entrenched social dynamic that has airline crews up in arms. Reaction to the news, as expected, has been strong.


“Shocking,” said airline industry blogger and former Pan Am pilot, Mark Lowenbrau. “Back in my day, you’d burn through half your pay at hotel bars on layover. There was nothing more sure than an intoxicated flight attendant – except maybe an intoxicated Jersey Shores girl, like the weird one, what’s her name? Snoopy? Anyway, something must be wrong with this guy. He’s a disgrace, and should have his wings removed.”


Jim Jackson, a fellow AirTran pilot was less diplomatic. “This little dip**** needs to have his d*** cut off and donated to someone who’ll actually make use of it. To have our nuts kicked by one of our own like this? Well, that sucks. It sucks big donkey d****. He’s screwing it up for the rest of us. That little f***er ought to be dipped in boiling oil.”


Adding insult to injury, Boikens’ union has refused to represent him in any disciplinary action taken by the company. A representative from Air Line Pilots Association stated that the union “has no use for a pathologically shy pansy.”


Boikens’ flight attendant co-workers aren’t surprised. One in particular recalls working with Boikens last fall. “Doesn’t surprise me,” said Amber Contessa, while dropping coins into the condemn vending machine in AirTran’s Atlanta crew room. “We were on layover in Orlando, and I was like, ‘Hey you wanna meet me in the lounge for a few drinks?’ but then he was all like, ‘Do you think they have sweet tea?’ And I was like, ‘Sweet tea!! Sweet tea??’ And he was all, ‘Yeah, I’m a big tea drinker’ and I was all like, ‘Don’t you want something stronger?’ and he was like, ‘No, coffee will keep me up.’ So I was, like, screw it and tracked down the captain. We’re engaged.”


AirTran has said little publicly. “AirTran takes this allegation very seriously and we are reviewing the situation,” said AirTran spokesman, Milton Ford. “But it’s too early to speculate at this point. You never know, a couple of flight attendants may come forward and acknowledge that Mr. Boikens engaged in intercourse with them earlier that evening. We’re still holding out hope.”


Asked about AirTran’s policy for such non-behavior, Ford stated that “we generally would provide a written warning and counseling if it happens in the first year. And maybe have them fly a few turns to Cancun, figuring a few margaritas and badda-bing badda-boom, problem solved. However, we’ve never actually had to enforce the policy, so we’re charting new territory. This is a day we’ve drilled for, done table-tops for, but we’ve always hoped that preparation would be unnecessary.”


In another development, AirTran and Boikens may have regulatory trouble on their hands. The Federal Aviation Administration has caught wind of Mr. Boikens’ alleged chastity, and has initiated a full-blown investigation into AirTran’s hiring policy and crew standards generally, and Mr. Boiken’s conduct specifically.


“This is unprecedented,” said FAA program manager, Fanny Lasko. “You really have to question the mental stability of a pilot who allows a layover to pass without a single sexual encounter among the crew. This was a time when Mr. Boiken needed to step up and engage in some selfless crew resource management, not a time to shirk his duties. It’s damned near impossible, what happened really; like jumping into the ocean and not getting wet.”


When asked what action the FAA might take, Lasko said “First, we’ll investigate to determine the safety issues that might arise from a pilot so warped as to remain celibate on an overnight, despite a smorgasbord of options. Depending on what we find out, we’ll either revoke his license or send him to a bachelor party to loosen him up. As for the airline, we’ll do a top-down review of its crews to see if this is a wide-spread problem, or instead just a unique case of a strangely frigid flyboy. Usually, we can find that out by examining the maternity leave rate of their flight attendant group.”


When reached for comment, Boikens sounded chastened and remorseful. “I know I shouldn’t be commenting during an investigation, but I feel I owe people an explanation. I just don’t know what I was thinking. I haven’t been this confused since Senior Prom when my date wanted me to check in at one of those power-by-the-hour motels but I bailed on her so I could go home and play Madden.”


I think someone has taken an actual news item and edited accordingly.... BRAVO... :}

[RETARD_RETARD_RETARD]

is that bet for 20,000 Quid still on in which you need to sleep with a F/A from each floor; and the bloke to gets to :mad: the one who's on the highest floor wins?

Here's another one folks; EK flight attendants when drunk don't know where's home; make sure in the conversation you get their address, before the they start on their 3rd Stella...

Anyone here know where do the decent F/A's hang out?; Irish Club's not it at all.

[Fearless Leader]

Givemewings,

Now that is a proper bit of satire.
Very funny. Thanks for the laugh!!!:D

[moggiee]

To reaffirm Mullahs argument: Todays average woman is pretty good looking ( Image is a composite picture generated using multiple images of women from various nationalities )
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg

I couldn't see the Saudi Arabian representative in that picture. :suspect::suspect:

[ShinjukuHustler]

The reason there are no saudis is cos no one knows what they look like underneath all that black :}

[projetpilot]

If you want to see some of the most beautiful women in the world, try the first class loung In DBX 20 min before a departure to the Kingdom. Super models go in and only eyes come out..... That lounge did not eat them! ;)