View Full Version : Who keeps chewing me bits ?

22nd May 2008, 13:21
So.....in the last 3 months i have had a pair of shoes, a pair of gloves and a whatchemacallit variously and severally chewed by a mystery beast. The scene of the crime is one's back garden. Said 'garden' is surrounded by a chest high wall with a head high trellace extension. There is no green grass, and the plants are all at the edges, so there's not too mush space for access and the rest is decking.

Shoes were left out overnight to dry and were discovered one here, one there both with the leather tongues chewed away, gardening gloves discovered by chance at 12.46am this morning with several fingers chewed away as the ISS was going over the top and the whatchemacallit at some other time unspecified.......

This means due to access and timing it must be a nocturnal beasty. I can't imagine a cat doing so and there have been no sightings or evidence that there are rats about. It's not the old girl next door either, as she couldn't get her zimmer frame over the wall and anyway she's got false teeth. We DO have foxes in the area, but they tend to stay to the street side and the rich pickings from people's dustbins. My garden is effectively uninteresting, as in nothing to make it worth the effort in getting into, yet the leather and vulcanised rubber seem to have been irresistible.....Anyone got any ideas how to recognize and hinder further 'attacks' ?



22nd May 2008, 13:24
Parrotts. You've been invaded by Kia from New Zealand. Tell him Blue Wolf.

Solid Rust Twotter
22nd May 2008, 13:28
Leather and rubber? Definitely hyaenas. Build a thorn brush boma around your house to stop them chewing the window seals or lay thorn branches over your tyres and gardening implements to keep them from being chewed. Lion urine also works but it's tricky persuading one to pee into a bottle.

22nd May 2008, 13:50
Possums. Definitely possums. :suspect:

22nd May 2008, 14:02
Very hungry (or not) S&M afficionadoes...?

22nd May 2008, 14:08
Or a crocodile. It could be a small crocodile.

22nd May 2008, 14:16
Not bad, not bad......

You lot have given me something to think about. I now have visions of kleptomaniacal, leather and rubber eating fetishists. Perhaps it was this person ?


I would discount the small crocodile as there doesn't seem to be enough water for it to be happy on a long term basis, unless of course the possums, kias, and hyenas have been eaten and said inanimate objects are the slim pickings left over..... :(



22nd May 2008, 14:22
Definitely sleep-chewing. It's a common thing apparently. I've got a really fat neighbour who swears they only eat normal size meals and has no idea why he's 32 stone, so I guess he must do it as well. Except he empties his fridge whereas you seem to like gloves and shit.
Set a camera up. Betcha I'm right! :ok:

22nd May 2008, 14:29
I'd put my money on a toddler. They get everywhere and chew stuff.

22nd May 2008, 14:30

22nd May 2008, 14:38
Could be Foss, could be......

Take the latest 'incident' last night/this morning, there one was trying to take away the pain of one's cadre losing the Champions League with a strangely hypnotic and charming sighting of the ISS flying over and said gloves were in the middle of said decking as though one had caught said interloper(s) inflagrante and that means that said crime was commited inbetween 23.00hrs and 00.46hrs respectively.

Perhaps they had to be up early for work in the morning and only wanted a nibble, rather than a full meal.



22nd May 2008, 14:55
I would suggest either escaped Sloths, drunken Monkeys out on the town after a good drink or maybe a even a Hedgehog.

22nd May 2008, 15:43
Well there's not too many simians around these parts, so unless the crocodile ate them then that's a no, no, no...... :(

I have a couple of squirrels in the neighbourhood, but these are active during the day and could have had a nibble of said objects before. All acts of deviance have taken place overnight, as do so many of these crimes :E

Is it something in the materials or is it just the pleasure of my secretory effluents that they seek ? Couldn't be bothered meself doing such things of a night though.



22nd May 2008, 15:43
Could be a Marten, Bit of a bu66er when they get under the bonet of the cars round here..

22nd May 2008, 15:59
I reckon you've got an infestation of these vicious little european worms that've been taking over the motherland these past few years. Vicious little f#####s they are, just don't get drunk and fall asleep in the garden, else you'll wake up with yer extremities being consumed!

Either that or foxes.

tony draper
22nd May 2008, 16:39
"secretory effluents"? damm! that's a ten point phrase Mr Jack,one shall steal it for future usage.

22nd May 2008, 17:01
Maybe a Jabberwocky or possibly a Harpy?

22nd May 2008, 17:11
Herr Draper, you may use the phrase with my compliments. It's usage in polite company might bring ones 'geordie-ness' into question, however. Use with considered caution.

We don't have (to the best of my knowledge) have any Martens here, or crocodiles, at least not of the animal variety. My feeling is that it would be likely foxy in nature. Can they jump/scale a 6-7ft obstacle with ease and if yes, for a pair of shoes/gloves/whatever ?



Foxy Loxy
22nd May 2008, 17:14
Can they jump/scale a 6-7ft obstacle with ease
Yep, seen them scaling my 6ft garden fence with ease on many occasions!
for a pair of shoes/gloves/whatever ?
Can't answer that one, Jack...


22nd May 2008, 17:34
Well i said it might be foxy in nature and up rolls foxyloxy! Btw, what does the loxy bit stand for ? Liquid oxygen/bagel filling/etc ?

Well, if you've seen said pole-vaulting fox behavior, then it must be a good possibility. In my humble abode, the walls are topped by trellace that isn't too strong and somewhat wobbly. Watching the overweight ginger tom from nextdoor walk along it is like a scene from mission impossible and a darn sight more entertaining than T cruise.

I would be suprised if said fox could spring over that without damage occuring, either to him/herself or the trellace. How much does a fox weigh ? 10-20kgs ? Assuming that there is plenty of food scraps to be had, looking at the broken/torn bin bags along the street early mornings the fox must have a fetish (for one's secretory effluents) or a thing for 'things'



22nd May 2008, 17:36
You've got foxes, they can climb, burrow and shoes, wow a great cop. Lost 3 pairs of deck shoes in one night to a Vixen and her sprogs! Never leave the stuff out, even a Brock will take stuff as well. Farm Doc buddy says it's the salt from the sweat they go for.

As for goats and donks, if they can they'll eat the stuff!

Foxy Loxy
22nd May 2008, 17:55
Thread drift....
Jack, Foxy Loxy is a character from a children's book named "Chicken Licken."

Thread drift completed.


And yes, I did appreciate the irony of my replying to your query! :}

22nd May 2008, 17:57
Based on my experience, concur, you have foxes.

Left my back door open one hot Summer night and when I went to close it around midnight spotted something strange on the back path in the shadows.

Turned out to be one of my gardening trainers, carried from the kitchen by the semi-tame vixen. Probably gassed her en route because she hadn't chewed it.

22nd May 2008, 18:12
Based on my previous experience, I agree with previous posters that it foxes are the likely culprits. Having moved, the new problem is badgers - who dig up fresh planting and excavate the lawn.

Ain't nature grand?


22nd May 2008, 18:15
How much does a fox weigh ? 10-20kgs ?

Those would be your alpha-foxes fer sure.

For red foxes, at least, many smaller females and adolescents would weigh in at 2-3 kg, in my experience, with the bigger ones at 5 or 6 kilos . Healthy animals often seem larger than they really are, due to fur that may grow long and fluffs nicely.

22nd May 2008, 19:22
Thanks for all the replies.

Well if a fox only weighs max 6kgs, then perhaps the trellace (and it's bits) could survive the ordeal. Blimey, i'd never have thought that my salt would be preferable to that which could be found, along with real food not so very far away without jumping over walls :eek:



22nd May 2008, 21:36
Dingoes? :hmm:

henry crun
22nd May 2008, 23:56
Mr Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh; Allow me to correct your confusion.

This is a Kia http://www.rentcarprague.com/media/cars/kia_ceed.jpg

This is a Kea http://www.richard-seaman.com/Birds/NewZealand/CommonForest/KeaEatingRentalCar.jpg

DX Wombat
23rd May 2008, 00:33
May I suggest you read this (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.noblepest.com/images/brown-rat.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.noblepest.com/rodents.html&h=357&w=400&sz=15&hl=en&start=7&tbnid=yHp6QH1azqIAwM:&tbnh=111&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Drattus%2Bnorvegicus%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den)? :uhoh:

23rd May 2008, 01:12
Rabbits have been known to eat plastic material. Used to get complaints that plastic fencing material could not be used to keep the little blighter's out of garden areas as they would chew through it. Not sure if they will chew leather though.

23rd May 2008, 02:03

23rd May 2008, 02:07
Sounds like a Kea;

Very good at turning anything man made into a pile of junk within a minute or so.. Had a tent once that got turned into a pile of canvas rags during the night - chewed the lines, pegs and poles to pieces, and then chewed up the canvas into strips.. Cool little buggers

23rd May 2008, 09:44
I'd go for a fox probably if you are in a town/city or badger for a more rural garden - the black and white pests climb fences or dig underneath them in my bitter experience, and will dig up and eat prized plants and bulbs and or use part of the garden as a foul latrine. I bet your boundaries are not as secure as you think!


23rd May 2008, 10:18
Rats, Mr Jack, rats.
Do you have a sinking ship or, perchance, a Zanu Labour MP in the vicinity?

23rd May 2008, 10:27
Gremlins, definately Gremlins.:E

Nah just kidding. Definately an expelled Ladette looking fro some eats after a night on the p..s.:}

Fly safe and play hard.

Rgards to all.

Hoss 58

23rd May 2008, 11:02
Well thanks for introducing photos of rats into my day :mad::uhoh:

It might be rattus rattus, but there are no other signs or evidence to suggest rodent action. Looking again at the shoes and gloves yesterday, it would seem that the bite radius is more than a cat, so it's looking more like a Basil Brush (fox) might be the culprit :suspect:



23rd May 2008, 11:12
It could indeed be a stray, continent-wandering Kea. But I suspect something even more fiendish....