Why Why !

[Been hacked]

Why am i so scared of flying??

I'm not scared of crashing, I just hate all the sensations of flying, the smells, the feelings, urgh!!

No real bad happenings. Nothing...so why am i such a baby, i get into such a state that i can hardly stay on the damn aircraft.

I will never as long as I live see what thrill and enjoyment cc and Pilots get out of flying ewwww. :bored:

[SkyToddler]

Why am i so scared of flying??

More like why am i on this forum? :ugh:

[Been hacked]

Well which forum would you suggest i go to post this then? and i will gladly go there.

[SkyToddler]

here :ok: (http://www.flyingwithoutfear.com/flying-without-fear-forum/Default.asp)

[PAXboy]

To try and answer the question ... our personal reaction to the physical stimuli of events around us is, perforce, personal. For example, I detest anything that tastes bitter so I cannot drink beer or coffee. Even the smell of these turns my stomach over. It has been like that all my life, my body will just not accept them (so spicy food for that matter) but I adore sweet smelling and tasting foods.

Likewise, I adore the take off roll and the moment of rotation. I can be in a really miserable mood but, the moment, the engines come up to power and the brakes are released - I start to smile. I no longer think about why some things are good for me and some bad.

If you are able to tolerate the journey by air - without actually feeling bad or panicked - then that may just be the way you are. If you DO feel frightened but still need to fly, then there are a number of courses and videos and do forth.

[Final 3 Greens]

Been Hacked

You probably have more awareness of what many people call 'seat of the pants' feedback from the airframe.

Do yourself a favour and book a trial lesson in a light aircraft.

That will take a lot of the fear away, when you see how easy it is to handle a smal plane.

But you might get hooked :E

[The Real Slim Shady]

Been Hacked,

The last thing you should do is book a trial flight in a light aircraft.

Consider what it is you dislike about flying first of all: does the process of booking the flight upset you or cause some mental irritation? Have you tried booking a free flight on one of the locos to explore this?

Having booked the flight does that make you feel anxious?

Does the process of negotiating the airport make you nauseous?

Do you have an understanding of the mechanics of flight?

Does the enclosed cabin make you feel nervous?

There are lots of variables, the majority of which can be cured by knowledge and some patient explanantion.

If I can help you ( 737 Training Capt scheduled carrier ) please feel free to PM me.

TRSS

[Contacttower]

The last thing you should do is book a trial flight in a light aircraft.



:hmm:....that's debatable...I've got a colleague at work who has recently developed a very mild fear of flying, and a friend suggested she take a flight in a light aircraft (I haven't heard how it went yet). There was someone doing a similar thing at my flying club the other day and I think in her case it did help a bit.

It's definitely something to think about.

[VAFFPAX]

Been hacked, bless. While I don't have a fear of flying, I feel for you, because nothing's worse than that. Do you by any chance know what makes you fear flying? Is it the airport experience? Is it the "I am no longer in control of what happens to me" feeling?

I believe Virgin and other airlines have programmes that perhaps allow you to answer this kind of question... they take you through an entire course thing, and they let you book one. I can only guess that some bad flying experiences (like severe turbulence on your first flight, or a bad take-off or landing) make you fear such an unpleasant experience time and again.

Do you have a good friend who loves to fly, and who is happy to assist you in coping until you can cope on your own? Perhaps you two could do a trip together and take it step by step? I've found that I'm less stressed when I arrive with a LOT of time ahead, so that I can dawdle through check-in, security etc, and still have around 45 minutes before boarding. I'd avoid alcohol or any caffeine-based drinks (coffee, tea, Red Bull) to avoid being set on edge. I'm sure that an airline (but not budget airlines) would make some arrangements if you told them at check-in that you're a nervous flyer, who will possibly check on you often to see if you're still alright.

I hope you will be able to get a grip on your fear of flying, and will start enjoying that experience as much as all of us others do. Good luck!

:-)

S.

[al446]

I'm not scared of crashing

I sure as hell am.

[FWOF]

Dear Been Hacked ... maybe I can help.

Firstly the Flying Without Fear website and the products therein were a godsend for me. That's a starting point. I'd advice the DVD, book and CD's.

Last year I got a job that meant I'd have to commute, by air, twice weekly. The thought of which had me nauseated beyoned belief. Thankfully my first flight was with a colleague and it was a perfect flight. My first thought on touchdown was however that I'd never be able to do that again, and I wondered how I'd even get home. First thing I did was get on the web, found that website, read it and then bought the stuff.

Which brings me to where I am today. I now fly alone at least twice a week. I've been on a plane that had to be rebooted, one that sat on the tarmas for an hour whilst "a small but vital part" was replaced (Captains words), through some very bumpy turbulence...but mostly I've been on peaceful, non-eventful flights.

Sensations are very well explained in the book (I still read it when I'm feeling jittery) and as for smells and feelings, the answers lay in your own hands.

the most important thing I always remember is that there is no more on earth the captain would get skyward if he for any reason wasn't happy with the aircraft. It's not like running your car to the nearest garage knowing it may or may not make it when it has a problem. The other thing I always remember is that most of the 'events' we dislike in an aircraft (i.e. turbulence etc.) are just a fraction of what it's been tested through. What may seem like a very scary bumpy and pitching journey is no doubt a tiny percentage of what the plane can really withstand.

I'm not cured, I don't run up the plane two at a time but I make it easier for myself. I've learnt that airports can often be the worst part of the experience at yet thay are nothing to do with the journey. I pre-book my seats (the few extra quid is worth it), if I can I book in on line and print my own baording pass as I only take hand luggage (and I fit a weeks wardrobe onto mine!) and I get to the airport timely enough that I'm not rushed but I'm not sat around thinking.

I wish you well and do please drop me a PM if you want any more info or just want to ask questions.

[c2lass]

I too have a fear, and I will be honest my fear is of crashing! I only fly for holidays, usually scheduled flights with BA (very limited where you can go from Aberdeen)

I do not show my fear to others, but inside I am falling apart. Every noise, every smell panics me. I do relax a little when the seatbelts sign go off as I always tell myself the Captain must be happy with everything!! The worse part for me is landing, I absolutely hate it. I also hate when the plane banks, I think it is going to tip over.

I have a great fascination for aeroplanes though and I LOVE Aircrash investigation ( I am even watching it now as I type this) I find it amazing how they can find out the cause of most crashes. I have the utmost admiration for you guys and girls that fly these planes, I really do. In fact I have the utmost admiration for anybody that works in the industry, air traffic controllers, engineers and technicians, ground staff etc.

I have flown more in these last 5 years than all my life but it doesn't get any easier for me. Also flew long haul for the first time last year on a 747 which I was extremely apprehensive about, however I was very pleasantly surprised as to how nice that flight was.

There is no way in the world you would get me up in a small plane or a helicopter so that will not allay my fears.

I am due to fly next weekend, BA to Heathrow then my first flight with Lufthansa to Munich. I can already feel the apprehension starting!! :ooh:

[FWOF]

I used to watch all the Air Crash progs until I realised I was just exasperating matters. I'm sure anyone that thought about it would worry about an accident, or crashing, but do you feel that same way when you drive your car? I've tried to be more subjective about what I didn't/don't like about flying, and it's the very fact that there are SO many checks, re-checks and triple checks that helps allay my fears. I too look forward to the bong allowing the cabin crew out of their sets, but it's just another thing to stick your fears onto.

Banking I used to hat too, fearing the aircraft would 'slip' ... again, the book I bought was brilliant at this.

I wish you some peace, and I can thoroughly THOROUGHLY recommend EFT and NLP.

[merlinxx]

Getting up in the morning frightens me fartless:----------

Hey I understand your fear, do try a trial flt at your local aero club, or even get a glider trip, now thats a nice with no noise!

All so called pointless fears (vertigo is medical) are based upon a reason, 'tis just finding the base point.

I've been in aviation for over 40 years, but still some times get a twitch at
V1.

Good luck and enjoy the roller coaster ride, for that's all it is, but with a glass or two!

[PAXboy]

If I may say ... those that cheerfully suggest to Been hacked and others, to take a flight in a light aircraft, appear to have ZERO idea of how fear of flying (or of anything) manifests itself. I urge anyone that is nervous to NOT go in a light aircraft - or even a turbo-prop, until they feel they have a better understanding of their fear and what sparks it off.

Firstly, the difference between a light aircraft and a passenger liner are so astronomical as to not need explanation. BUT if the person thinks that any little 'blip' and 'shimmy' of a A320 or B767 airframe worries them - then a light aircraft will have them hysterical within a minute of rotation!

The smaller the machine, the greater you feel each and every bump. They will be fixated on the fact that there is only one engine and one pilot. They will be in a new environment that appears far riskier than anything they have been in before. The list of fears they will find is almost endless and with no real way of 'mapping' it onto their experience as a pax in a commercial liner.

If they can attend a course where they are shown footage of what is happening on the flight deck and played the sounds, whilst a pilot explains them all and shows them external pictures of the aircraft to show what is happening (flaps retracting, raising the gear) then they can map what they hear and feel with what is supposed to be happening and that it is OK.

Secondly, I have a phobia about a particular event (nothing to do with flying itself, although the two can sometimes be linked) and I know that the unreasonable nature of a phobia is that it springs up at you at any moment and you cannot control it. I know that it is just a phobia but, when it launches itself, I can be left sweating and shaking - even when nothing has actually happened.

So, please, do not suggest that a nervous pax takes a flight in a light a/c until they understand what they would be letting themselves in for. There are a number of well documented courses, DVDs and books, FWOF has spoken of their help, that is the place to start.

[Final 3 Greens]

Paxboy

What experience of desensitisation of fear do you have?

I made my suggestion based on real experience. I also have psychology qualifications and 15 years experience in working in the area of behavioural change.

Remember that a person on a trial flight (which last about 20 minutes) can be on the ground in under 5 if they feel uncomfortable.

Desensitisation is achieved by confronting the fear in a small way and then increasing the intensity of the experience.

Given that the OP is an adult, a trial flight is one of a raft of possible options.

Whilst the OP will know whether or not this is an acceptable starting point (it may not be), I don't really think that you should dismiss the idea out of hand.

[dollydaydream]

I suspect, while everyone now debates the pro's and con's of light aircraft flights, desensitization, fear of flying etc, that the original poster has now moved on to post sarcastic answers on other threads, having no interest in the replies generated.
Just my opinion.

[Contacttower]

Well even if that's true dollydaydream it doesn't mean the discussion can't be interesting...

[SnoggingTarmac]

I love flying in the big stuff. The only time I've been terrified of flying is in a light aircraft. It was piloted by a friend in whom I had absolute confidence and I still came within a whisker of losing my breakfast and my nerve. I felt every lump and bump - plus I don't get that sense of being a long way off the ground in a 737. I've never been so pleased to get my feet on the floor and will not be repeating the experience again in a hurry. That day is how I found my screen name.

Just because the plane is smaller, doesn't make it a way of "confronting the fear in a small way". A small plane will amplify and exaggerate any sensation about flying that bothers a person (even if they weren't aware of it before).

Plane big enough to have an onboard toilet & trolley of g&t = good
Anything smaller = avoidavoidavoid

[Final 3 Greens]

Just because the plane is smaller, doesn't make it a way of "confronting the fear in a small way". A small plane will amplify and exaggerate any sensation about flying that bothers a person (even if they weren't aware of it before).


Snogging.

You are using a false frame of reference.

Yep, it would be stupid to send someone with a fear of flying off in turbulent conditions for a 2 hour flight - the damage could be severe.

BUT, a 15 minute circuit on a calm summer evening is a whole different matter, PROVIDED the person involved is not coerced and can always stop the sortie quickly.

When I owned a plane, I used to do these sort of little flights every now and then and generally the passengers said it heldped them a lot. Usually they had control for a few mintues too, although not always.

However, it isn't a panacea for all and shoudl not be forced on people.

[mad_jock]

As an Instructor I took several people with a fear of flying on trial flights.

Luckly everyone had a double slot booked.

I used to do everything with them went through the wx, did a full pre flight check the works.

They were all nervous granted but most of them I managed to con into doing the takeoff and most of the flying; and one or two gave it a good shot at the landing. And one did a bloody greaser with no input from me.

Even the ones who said they didn't want to fly at all had a great time and all said that they where alot happier after everything was explained to them.

From my limited experence most of the fear came from the fear of the unknown and having to put complete trust in people that they never get to see. Once they speak to the pilots and get to know them they are fine. Once they have met one pilot and seen them work some of the fear is still there but it is controllable.

So go for a trial lesson but let them know the reason why you are taking it.

[Been hacked]

Dolly,,,, i havent disappeared ive had a nightmare trying to get back in here for last few days. Someone hacked me :( anyway here i am and WOW i had a lot of responses that were all really useful to me.

Let me try to explain my fears.....

Ive been flying most years sometimes 4 times a year for ummmm 30 years. I have always had a slight fear as im a bit claustrophobic, but it was never being shut in the plane that bothered me. I think with me its almost the fear of not being able to get out when i want to.

Anyway most flights ive had have been uneventful, a few with turbulance which made me sweat a bit.

Then something extraordinary happened to me.... my best friend died at the age of 39 of breast cancer, i saw her get sicker and sicker and then was with her day before she died. I lost it for a while, then i went through this period of thinking well "what the heck" the worse thing happeneded to her whats worst can happen to me too? and for some odd reason i flew everywhere, i wasnt scared at all, i even flew to West coast USA ALONE !!! and back !!!

Then i started flying with my Hubby and child again and it got worse again. Last year i started suffering from anxiety attacks, or rather just shortness of breath attacks, sort of an anticipatory thing, so obviously getting to an airport waiting to board taxying to the runway was highly anticipatory for me. This is why the worst part fro me when i get really short of breath or feel i cant get a breath in is the bit where we taxy to the bit where we take off, im terrible at that point and could quite easily stand up scream and ask to get off. Im not so bad once im up and straight ( I hate the climb) im sort of good with the landing.

Two years ago i flew back from greece same day as Helios plane went down, we were sat in the airport lounge when it came on, not many calm faces i can tell you. We boarded took off and about 2 hours into flight had the most awful turbulence to thepoint the crew sat down and not one announcement was made after it had stopped. It went on for about 20mins i was freaking out inside.

Then last year i went to spain and my child vomitted on take off and got upset but i coped ok for that, but after these anxity attacks i had a rotten holiday and was anxious ( like when flying) the whole of my holiday, now im due to go to Greece again in August and am dreading not only the flight but the thought of being like this the whole of my vacation.

Im going to get the fear of flying CD's as ive heard they are very good, valium used to work, im on prozac but it doesnt really stop that really exagerrated feeling i get flying

Sorry its long winded but thats sorta my story.

Thanks for all the great posts too :)

[Telegraph Road]

Been Hacked... I've been reading the thread with interest. Totally sympathise. I flew professionally quite a while ago, was not a pilot but let the 'taxi drivers' (sorry guys) take me everywhere and had complete confidence in their ability. Several years ago I developed a fear of flying for no logical reason. Didn't like turbulence etc. Eventually rationalised things down to the pre-flight stuff at the airport and being enclosed in a cramped space for hours - I know just like sitting in the back of Wessex! Gradually got confidence back but one comment form a friend, professional pilot, stuck in my mind, if I was really doubtful about the safety of flying I wouldn't let my kids and wife go on scheduled flights on on their own.

try and split the flight up into different sections - give yourself a task for each bit - read 4 pages of a book, listen to 2 songs on a mp3, have something to eat or drink. Just a few examples, but work out your own.

There has been some good sensible advice posted here - take what you need from it and use it to suit you. Only you know what will work for you.

Good luck with your travels.

[PAXboy]

Wow, thank you Been hacked for giving us the background to your fears. As you will see from my next reply, I am not able to offer any help, only sympathy.

F3GPAXboy. What experience of desensitisation of fear do you have?None. I wrote 'from the hip' of one who experiences an irrational fear that can limit my life. I decided, many years ago, to live with my phobia and not go through desensitising, as I felt that to be worse than the occasional times that it affects my life. The last time it did so was five weeks ago.

Your view is a strong argument and the extent of your skills genuinely continues to amaze me.

From the honesty of Bh, I can only observe that there are a complex sequence of events in train and that there will no easy answer for her. I hope that this thread continues as it is one of the best we have had for a long time.

[The Real Slim Shady]

From what you have described BH a trial flight would be perhaps a step too far, too soon.

Taking the process a stage at a time would , perhaps, alleviate the anxiety and the symptoms: the Flying without Fear seminar would probably be a good first step as it would give you the opportunity to be " touchy feely " with the airplane without the commitment to fly.

[PaperTiger]

Then something extraordinary happened to me....Maybe a clue there. From http://www.guidetopsychology.com/fearfly.htm (an excellent read)if you have a fear of flying, before seeking treatment you might want to ask yourself several questions:

1.
What exactly were the circumstances of the flight on which the fear of flying symptoms first appeared? http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
Why were you flying?

What happened just before the flight?

What happened during the flight?
What happened just after the flight?
(Try to recall the facts as well as the exact words of anything that was said.)



2.
What was happening in your life before the fear of flying symptoms developed?
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
Did you experience any major life changes before the fear of flying symptoms developed?
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
Did anything happen that left you feeling uncertain or conflicted before the fear of flying symptoms developed?
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
Had anyone done anything to you that had left you feeling emotionally hurt and angry (http://www.guidetopsychology.com/anger.htm) before the fear of flying symptoms developed?

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
3.

What exactly might a fear of flying prevent you from doing? http://www.guidetopsychology.com/images/empty.gif
How do you really feel about not doing it?

Maybe you don’t really want to do it.

Or maybe you feel guilty about doing it.


Who knows? You might end up in treatment for something other than fear of flying, or you might be able to solve the problem yourself without professional help.

[VAFFPAX]

Been Hacked, I'm so sorry to hear that (about your friend, and Helios, and everything else).

I like the link Paper Tiger posted... it might be very useful. I really hope you get that beast beaten, and go back to enjoying your flights.

S.

[wilky]

I nearly never flew again, I was on the Helios flight on the leg to Larnaca, the flight before it crashed. We were interviewed by the press when we returned home at the airport as another Helios a/c had been in the papers for making an emergency landing due to flap problems, that really nearly put me off flying for life!

[JulietNovemberPapa]

I hope that you will gradually overcome your fears.

I have genuinely never felt scared or fearful while flying, regardless of the aircraft or weather or noises or whatever. In fact, I love turbulance, bad weather, etc: it makes it more exciting.