View Full Version : Proof! Kiwi's give it to sheep, but take it from Wombats

Buster Hyman
27th Mar 2008, 23:41
NZ man sentenced after claiming to have been raped by a wombat
March 27, 2008 - 3:51PM

A New Zealand man who claimed to have been left speaking Australian after being raped by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours' community work for his trouble.
Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message, "I've been raped by a wombat".
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night.
When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.
On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.
He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.
"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out," Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.
"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all," Cradock then told the operator.
Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock's life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a problem that day.
Judge Richard Russell said he was not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police.
In sentencing, he warned Cradock not to do it again.

Arm out the window
27th Mar 2008, 23:50
He's going to do the 75 hours community service at a wildlife centre to get some of his own back. :ooh:

henry crun
28th Mar 2008, 01:58
I can well imagine why he was so disturbed if he suddenly started talking Strine; that would be a fate worse than death.

Arm out the window
28th Mar 2008, 02:21
Well, Mr Crun, make sure you carefully avoid coming here or you may (shock, horror) pick up some of the lingo too - leave us to our good weather, beaches and laid-back lifestyle and we won't bother you!

Or is it jealously that one of our well-hung wombats visited this bloke and not you?

henry crun
28th Mar 2008, 02:29
There was no mention of an interpreter being needed, perhaps the judge has visited Oz and picked up enough to understand what the poor chap was saying. :p

Arm out the window: Fear not, if that is the result of being assaulted by a wombat I shall take great pains to avoid them.

Buster Hyman
28th Mar 2008, 02:37
Could've been worse for the Wombat...he could've been ugly...

28th Mar 2008, 03:17
There's a fillum in this.

"Six life of The Hairy Nose"

28th Mar 2008, 06:01
... after being raped by a wombat ...
Bit of a bummer, really ...

28th Mar 2008, 14:15
Did the assault make him bowl underarm as well?


Solid Rust Twotter
28th Mar 2008, 14:23
Ooohhh! That's just plain nasty, Mr BOFH...:E

28th Mar 2008, 21:49
Magic mushrooms are in season just now, prevalent in orchards due to the spray programme being suspended pre-harvest. I'm sure there is no connection ;)

29th Mar 2008, 00:29
Could be, Wolfie ... wombats do eat mushrooms. :E

29th Mar 2008, 03:02
I couldn't even comprehend being raped by a wombat: They are the most gentle of animals.

Buster Hyman
29th Mar 2008, 03:47
Do they respect you in the morning ampan?;)

29th Mar 2008, 03:51
No comment.

As for saltwater crocs: Don't go there, Sister.