luvly jubbly
10th Oct 1999, 09:26
Senrt to me by a pal in Muscat:
You know you have lived in the Gulf too long when. ..
You enjoy camping in the sand
You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
You serve coffee in a thimble
You think everyone's first name is Al
You don't expect to eat dinner until 10:30 PM
You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You think that skis were developed for use on sand dunes
You believe that speed limits are only advisory
You expect to see tractors driving at 40 kilometres/hour on a super highway
You expect police to drive BMWs
You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
You think it's normal to play golf on the sand, and putt on the browns
You refuse to go swimming in the Gulf unless the water temperature is in the
mid-90's Fahrenheit
You wear a jacket inside and take it off when you go out
You think carpets belong on the wall
You turn up the air conditioning to write Christmas Cards
You know which end of a shwarma to unwrap first
You believe that it is normal for the same section of road to be dug up
three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between
the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins
to blow his horn
You think all gas stations are made of marble
You can receive every television station except the local station
You believe that football and baseball are meant to be played at 3 in the
morning
You yearn to see American/English commercials on TV
You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during summer
You think being liberated means sitting in the family-section
You think a red light means run it
You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
You have more carpets than floor space
You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
You make left turns from the far right lane
You expect gold for every birthday
You send friends a map instead of your address
You expect a palace on every corner
You think Kleenex belongs on the dinner table
You think the biggest event of the year is the camel races
And a few personal observations...
You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst
crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
You would rather use a bush 5km out of town than use a small town restaurant
toilet
You think that howareyou is one word
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout
at 11pm
You name the gekkos that live in your house
You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do
something
You understand that it takes one driver, three firemen, two supervisors and
a 10 tonne fire truck to remove a racing snake from the house
You know you have lived in the Gulf too long when. ..
You enjoy camping in the sand
You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
You serve coffee in a thimble
You think everyone's first name is Al
You don't expect to eat dinner until 10:30 PM
You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You think that skis were developed for use on sand dunes
You believe that speed limits are only advisory
You expect to see tractors driving at 40 kilometres/hour on a super highway
You expect police to drive BMWs
You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
You think it's normal to play golf on the sand, and putt on the browns
You refuse to go swimming in the Gulf unless the water temperature is in the
mid-90's Fahrenheit
You wear a jacket inside and take it off when you go out
You think carpets belong on the wall
You turn up the air conditioning to write Christmas Cards
You know which end of a shwarma to unwrap first
You believe that it is normal for the same section of road to be dug up
three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between
the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins
to blow his horn
You think all gas stations are made of marble
You can receive every television station except the local station
You believe that football and baseball are meant to be played at 3 in the
morning
You yearn to see American/English commercials on TV
You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during summer
You think being liberated means sitting in the family-section
You think a red light means run it
You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
You have more carpets than floor space
You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
You make left turns from the far right lane
You expect gold for every birthday
You send friends a map instead of your address
You expect a palace on every corner
You think Kleenex belongs on the dinner table
You think the biggest event of the year is the camel races
And a few personal observations...
You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst
crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
You would rather use a bush 5km out of town than use a small town restaurant
toilet
You think that howareyou is one word
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout
at 11pm
You name the gekkos that live in your house
You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do
something
You understand that it takes one driver, three firemen, two supervisors and
a 10 tonne fire truck to remove a racing snake from the house