View Full Version : Qanzas

22nd Mar 2008, 08:54
As a New Zealander, I am extemely annoyed about the fact that I am not an Australian. Queenslanders and Victorians, and even Tasmanians, are Australians - yet I'm not. I've never understood how or why it turned out this way. NZ attended the federation meetings in the late 18th century, but then opted out, for some strange reason. And despite Gallipoli and Passchendale and El Alamein and all the rest of it, NZ remains a separate country. It's completey ridiculous. Even worse, Australia is completely blameless. NZ has never been turned down. The fact is that NZ has never asked.

So I hereby ask: On behalf of the people of New Zealand, I ask the Federation of Australia to admit NZ as a state - please?

Obviously, a new national anthem will be required. But ours is dreadful, and yours is only slightly better. I'd be quite happy with this:


As for the All Blacks, they can continue to compete separately, in tests and at the World Cup (and continue to go down like a wet sack of sh*t.)

22nd Mar 2008, 09:04
WTF ampan??

Go find a non-aviation forum.

Off to jetblast please mods.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:09
Probably right - but Jetblast doesn't have a D & G section.

I withdraw and apolgise. Will write to our lady Prime Minister on the subject.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:12
That's a lady?

22nd Mar 2008, 09:14
Definitely. DNA testing doesn't lie.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:14
In NZ she is considered a princess.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:18
Canberra doesn't know what it's missing.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:20
If you want to be Australian, why not just move over here Ampan? And leave NZ for the loyal ones.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:28
I shouldn't have to go anywhere. I should be able to be an Australian by staying right where I am - in Auckland.

Can't I be a loyal New Zealander, as well as a loyal Australian?

22nd Mar 2008, 09:33
Probably right - but Jetblast doesn't have a D & G section.

what for?

Surely any self-respecting PPRuNer isn't that insular.

The world ain't that big and bad, I'm sure the thread would survive. Besides theres just about more kiwis living outside the country than in it. The buggars are everywhere.

Beyond that, come on my good man don't give up just yet, or has brother helen already got your vote?

Hey weezy, I take it the roo's are not animals.......cousins then?

p.s. which is the tongue in cheek icon? the blue one with the stupid grin?

22nd Mar 2008, 09:37
I don't think we'll ever see NZ as a state of Australia, could see Australia take it's place as the West Island though.

In all seriousness - there are plenty of articles available on the web expaining the many varied reason why we didn't join - from revenue to indigenous affairs. Coupled with fact that it was becoming much more the Federation/Nation of Australia as opposed to the looser Commonwealth of Australasian at a time when NZ was discovering it's own national identity with it's contribution to the Second Boer War.


That's probably because Australia considers "beastiality" as animal cruelty.


22nd Mar 2008, 09:41
Aviation relevance: Qantas should take over AirNZ. Heathrow to Sydney non-stop in the Dreamliner (rip out the galleys, replace with extra fuel tanks.)

(Current) Australians are far more scathing of Tasmanians and those from the Northern Territory than of us Kiwis. At least we only sh*g sheep. Sheep are not an endangered species.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:43
well then, now that this an aviation related thread its whole new ball game.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:45
anyway whats this doing in a Aviation forum

i'm not sure. But who cares, it made me lol :ok:

22nd Mar 2008, 09:49
Frankfurt to Brisbane is already within the current range.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:50
3 man? sounds tough.

22nd Mar 2008, 09:54
Three men, and the proverbial snapping dog. (plus another guy to watch the dog.)

Going Boeing
22nd Mar 2008, 10:05
The other plus to your suggestion is that NZ would still have an Air Force. :ok:

22nd Mar 2008, 10:10
An Airforce. An Army. A Navy. Free trade with the USA. And millions of acres of coal, uranium, copper, aluminium. etc. etc.

and heaps more sheep to sh8g, eh.

Falling Leaf
22nd Mar 2008, 10:20
As a Kozzie now living in Brisbane I still wonder when little 'ol NZ should/would finally relinquish sovereignty and become another State of Australia.

When I was studying Australian politics as a RNZAF cadet at the Australian Defence Force Academy, I had to read the Australian Constitution in which there is pretty much an open ended invite for NZ to join the federation. In fact, in the old parliament, and I think even in the new one, there is a conference room for every state. Next to all these rooms is another with 'New Zealand' above the Door, so in this respect Godzone does seem to be ranked ahead of the NT and the ACT which don't get a room.

I have served in the RNZAF and the RAAF. I have an Australian son and a Kiwi daughter, so my loyalties and accent are somewhere around Lord Howe Island. I am one of thousands of kozzies who would love to see NZ become closer to Australia then just CER, CDR and a defunct ANZUS treaty.

Of course it will never happen. With ever more people fighting over ever dwindling supplies of energy the world is only going to become a bigger place again. The tyranny of distance will always see NZ as its own sovereign nation. IMHO it is more likely that Western Australia will seek independence than NZ will become a state of Australia.

22nd Mar 2008, 11:06
South Australians are proof that Tasmanians can swim is proof that Kiwis can swim...THERFORE ............................................................ ..............................................

now where is this going?????

22nd Mar 2008, 11:32
Somewhere DEEP in the Tasman I hope !!:rolleyes::D

22nd Mar 2008, 12:19
Ampan, you can get dual nationality if you live in Australia for x number of years (where x is quite small). I've lived in Australia for more than 30 years and I have no idea why you would want to become a citizen.

The main benefit is to prevent you from being ejected from the country if popular sentiment suddenly turns angrily xenophobic, although it is not actually a guarantee (http://www.theage.com.au/news/immigration/it-is-a-shameful-episode/2005/10/06/1128562943594.html).

However if you don't want to live here, why would that matter?

22nd Mar 2008, 13:07

(and all his supporting acts!)

just gotta say


Made me laugh big time - also made me listen to the Seekers "I am Australian" again after many years and remember what a good, straight forward song it is.

Late I woke up in a sweat thinking how it would be if an eminent performer like Mr Eminemmmmmmmm got his hands on it; my psycho doctor still trying to work out the connection!

Keep up the great work. :ok:

22nd Mar 2008, 13:25
speaking of stuff happening if Aus/NZ merged into one nation:
firstly, it would mean Australia would have some decent ski areas :P.

It has been discussed many times before, but what is the real point? theres so much trade between Aus and NZ, and you dont need working permits to work in either, its basically already one country, just not officially.

22nd Mar 2008, 13:45
Almost one country - with the notable and significant exception that Australia allows jus soli citizenship - that is, citizenship by right of being born in Australia, regardless of the nationality of your parents. New Zealand does not, any more, after too many people began to take advantage of that loophole to give their spawn New Zealand citizenship.

However, the Australian Constitution provides for both Western Australia and New Zealand to become States under the Commonwealth at any time of their choosing. W.A. has already availed itself of this right, and New Zealand is fully entitled under Australian law to do the same. It is misplaced trying to ask Australia to accept New Zealand as a State, since Australia has had the provision for such since 1901. All New Zealand needs to do is pass a referendum to join the Commonwealth, upon which the entire Dominion will become a State.

Its completely up to you, New Zealand.

22nd Mar 2008, 14:24
South Australians are proof that Tasmanians can swim is proof that Kiwis can swim...THERFORE .................................................. .................................................. ......

Interesting, I thought Victorians were proof that Tasmanians can swim... certainly a lot closer... ....another Victorian trying to hide their scare and deflect attention?

22nd Mar 2008, 15:33
New Zealand could not possibly afford to take on Australia's liabilities.

22nd Mar 2008, 15:55
Hey if Aust really wanted to absorb NZ, it wouldnt take much. No argument in who would own the skies in air superiority!!! And there are only so many NZ SAS guys...... besides most kiwis would prob welcome it.:E Too easy.

Best foot forward
22nd Mar 2008, 16:00
What was it that Muldoon once said, "every time a kiwi crossed the tasman to live in Australia the average IQ of both countries increased":ok:

22nd Mar 2008, 17:02
Isn't Oz & NZ almost 1 country by defacto now anyway. As an ozzer, I can pack up and move to nz anytime, i please, get a job, after a whle vote etc, just like a kiwi can do here. Hell they even have a team in the NRL (a real mans game not that girly AFL stuff).

As much as we poke fun at the kiwis, they proved their bonafides alongside the diggers in the trenches. we can heap manure on them because we hold our brothers in NZ so dear to our hearts.

One join country......its just a moot point.

22nd Mar 2008, 17:20
I can tell you one thing, we ain't having Matt Dunning in our front row (think team america and "matt damon" when one says it).

that guy has been in first grade for how long?..... but they keep finding a moro in his foot locker.

Imagine the state of it if he was on Henry's conditioning/cotton-wool program, he'd put sally the dump truck to shame.

Any amalgamation surely begins at a sporting level?.....right?

22nd Mar 2008, 23:49
Hilarious. You're welcome to Auckland if you want it, but the South is more likely to go its own way than shack up with Aussie. Other reasons against the idea:

1. the 1200 miles between us
2. Australia would never ratify the Treaty of Waitangi (or maybe that's a reason in favour :p)
3. Aussie sheep are way ugly
4. Your gun laws suck
5. League is a girl's game
6. We can buy whatever vitamins we want
7. Lots of other stuff.

23rd Mar 2008, 00:06
....8.Kevin Rudd

23rd Mar 2008, 00:39
Let's start on the sportsfield: We in NZ get creamed by Australia in almost everything, so why don't we just surrender? (Wasn't it the great Homer Simpson who said "When the going gets tough, give up".) Take cricket, where we are routinely dismembered. Instead of waiting for another Richard Hadlee, why not accept that we are always going to get thrashed, and decide that if we can't beat them, join them. Imagine Brett Lee thundering in from the Sandringham Road end at Eden Park, bowling for OUR team. (And we would still be able to call Symonds a monkey, except that he would be OUR monkey.)

Ditto for soccer.

As for netball, who gives a toss about netball? It a very boring game, played by girls.

In league, NZ would get a place in the State of Origin series, which is a far bigger deal than any test match.

That just leaves the fuggin All Blacks. If the All Blacks are so important, I don't see why we can't retain them. Note that Scotland and Wales compete separately, despite being part of the same country. So keep rugby separate. The All Blacks stay, along with the embarrassing haka - and no squishy Moro Bars will be ejaculated from any collapsed All Black scrum.

23rd Mar 2008, 00:56
9. XXXX beer

23rd Mar 2008, 02:07
10. http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5684628,00.jpg

23rd Mar 2008, 02:27
Rumour has it the Australian government decided to discontinue knighthoods the day after Warney cleaned out Gatting at Old Trafford in 1993.

Personally, I would have loved to have Warne on our team. He came out here in 1992, and was obviously a genius in the making. I remember crouching forward towards the TV as soon as he came on to to bowl, and then howling with laughter and appreciation every time he destroyed another helpless NZ basman. I suspect that there were plenty of other Kiwis who were the same. Far and away the most entertaining cricketer I've seen.

puma pants
23rd Mar 2008, 02:31
But we don't like shearing sheep. You guys will just have to get your own!! Buddabom!!

henry crun
23rd Mar 2008, 02:55
ampan: No doubt you would look forward to learning how to say feeesh and cheeeps, but I think you will find that many of us will resist. :p

23rd Mar 2008, 03:53
We need to find a middle ground: feeesh and chups.

23rd Mar 2008, 04:05

SO Bulldogs star Sonny Bill Williams wants to play State of Origin football? And he wants other New Zealanders in the NRL to be eligible too.
No way. Never. Well, maybe not never ... weíll let them in when New Zealand becomes a state of Australia.
Exactly what part of STATE of Origin donít Kiwis understand? Origin is about State against State. Itís about Queensland v NSW; the Canetoads v the Cockroaches; Godís Country v Spivland. Itís Australiaís most intense interstate competition and, for me, itís the highlight of the sports year _ and has been since 1980 when Big Artie led Wally Lewis and Co into battle at the old Lang Park. Iíve missed seeing ONE of the 80 Origin matches played since 1980 LIVE . . . ONE, and thatís because I was on a plane to Los Angeles. I even watched the Mickey Mouse game from California in 1987 but Iíll never count that as an Origin match. Anyway, back to the point . . . to play Origin a player MUST be available to play for Australia. otherwise we cheapen the concept and Origin doesnít deserve to be cheapened.
Oh, and before people start tossing up names like Adrian Lam (PNG), Craig Smith, Brad Thorn and Tonie Carroll _ I didnít agree with their selections at the time and never will. Never comfortable with the Karmichael Hunt thing, either, but he made his choice to be available for Australia and thatís good enough for me.


23rd Mar 2008, 04:34
Morning all,

Is eligibility based on your first club?? Kiwi passport or not, if you grew up playing for bankstown fugglies then, cockroach thou art.

23rd Mar 2008, 04:47
In NZ she is considered a princess.

Why you call me dusky princess last night and black bitch this morning?

24th Mar 2008, 00:31
"I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I woke up with a few."

24th Mar 2008, 00:46
Kiwi executives relax in the spa after a hard day trading in the PUHA (http://www.teara.govt.nz/Places/Northland/NorthlandPlaces/10/ENZ-Resources/Standard/4/1/en#breadcrumbtop)market http://www.augk18.dsl.pipex.com/Smileys/laughpound.gif

24th Mar 2008, 00:52
Nothin' like a hot soak, a packet of Zig-Zags, and some nice and legal Drum tobacco.

24th Mar 2008, 00:55
Makes Northland go around cuzzy bro.

Buster Hyman
24th Mar 2008, 08:52
Right, steady on chaps! We can't say anything bad about Mr Clark in NZ anymore...(otherwise, they might mention Julia Gillard!):yuk:

24th Mar 2008, 09:00
Julia is HOT !:E

Buster Hyman
24th Mar 2008, 13:03
...when she's being burned at the stake you mean...