Congratulations to Security

[jimworcs]

I think it is time a note of appreciation for the hard working security staff at the airports was posted. They are showing a high degree of sophisticated analysis of the security threat, and I think many people underestimate how much they work at it. For example, on Friday 7th March I was travelling from BHX to NCL taking the 8:30 flight. The security authorities had clearly undertaken an analysis and it had been determined that it was vital for aircraft safety that all passengers take off their belts. This was not just a crude blanket rule though, because one of the security staff came along and went straight to the front of the queue, put his stuff in the tray, but apparently the belts worn by security staff pose no threat and it was not necessary for him to take his off. But the subtlety doesn't stop there.. within a week, the authorities had undertaken further work on the risk posed by belts, and when I took exactly the same flight on Friday 14th March, belts were no longer a threat. Clearly, terrorists had stopped using belts for their dastardly plans and the security authorities at BHX had responded quickly. Interestingly, on the return flight from NCL to BHX on the same day however, North East terrorists were still posing a serious belt threat and so naturally, security at NCL were on to it and were demanding that all belts be tested. Where else in the world would this degree of effort be made to ensure that we are kept safe, and the risk assessment be of such a high standard that it can deduce the risk to such minute detail.

Although belts continued to pose a serious threat at NCL, knives appear to be less of threat. Having passed through security at NCL I spend some time in the BA Terraces lounge. Here you can help yourself to a nice knife to butter your bread. You might think that this would pose a threat to the security of the aircraft, because as we know, these are banned. However, after careful and detailed worldwide analysis of the patterns of terrorist behaviour it was determined that terrorists do not travel business class or pay to use the airport lounges and it is therefore safe. Well done!

Meanwhile, on a trip from GLA to LHR, my unused bar of Pears soap was found to be entirely safe. The following day, from LHR to GLA (and after it had been used), it clearly became a volatile compound that posed a significant threat and was removed. Such is the security that it was not possible to disclose to me what the actual threat posed by a used bar of Pears soap was, but it is reassuring to know that they are there protecting me.

Lastly, in another remarkable security development, cars have been banned from drop off at BHX to prevent terrorist incidents such as the one that happened at GLA. The airport security at BHX however have discovered a new way to reduce the threat. Six metres from the old drop off point is a new drop off point. This new drop off point has a new, remarkable deterrent to prevent terrorist incidents. The BHX authorities have imposed a charge of £1 for 20 minutes. This simple new rule apparently deters the terrorists and will prevent them from driving their car bombs into the drop off zone. This is an amazing discovery and really should be introduced worldwide.

I hope that this post will allay the fears of those cynics who fear that security has just become an profit point for companies who supply people who are too stupid/fat to be a policeman, but feel the need to wear a uniform and act important. Far from it, we have a highly sophisticated security service, constantly monitoring the threat from belts, pens and soap and adjusting it accordingly to keep us all safe. Well done.

[mid_life_pilot]

These belt wielding terrorists must also have been in action in Florida too. I was on a flight from MAN-MCO at the end of January - no belt problems but had to taste baby food in front of them. Two weeks later on the way back I had to remove my belt for scanning but baby food was fine.

I think they are rotating the threat to keep those wily terrorists on their toes. Funny though how BHX are making profit from the measures though although not as scandalous as 'offsetting' your carbon emissions which, yes, you've guessed it, costs money too!

Before we landed we were given a sob story about how the planet is dying but if you dig deep into your wallets (what a surprise) you can save it.

Maybe the next step is that you pay for extra security!

[jimworcs]

LPL airport has introduced a new scheme... longer lines for security, kept deliberately slow with only one screening machine. Then, some bright spark came up with the idea of charging for a "fast track" security.. £5 gets you through. As we know, charging deters terrorists, so perhaps we could just pay a fiver and bypass screening altogether!

[Ricky1]

LMAO, funny thread,
Heading from BFS to YYZ about a year ago. Security took my cigarette lighter from me and told me it could cause a huge threat while enroute. Suggested that a terrorist might like to light the plane on fire. I gave them the nice lighter without hessitation and proceeded through to the departure area. To my amazment I found a few smoking areas. I asked someone for a light and they pulled out a lighter. confussed I asked them how they got passed security with it. I was told " ah, I just went to the shop beside the bar. They sell them there". Security must have just tought there was something up with my lighter and that the one's sold after you go through security were of a safer nature.
Hope they keep up the good work.

[Mr. Bloggs]

I think the security person needed Pears Soap. Obliviously it didn’t cause a rash so it is safe to use. I believe they share what is confiscated. One of the perks of the job I suppose.

[skysod]

It's blatantly obvious from the above posts that we need the immediate introduction of a Belt Tax, Baby Food Tax and most important of all a Rucksack Tax, all three of which must be increased annually in accordance with the well tried and tested "escalator" system as applied to petrol!:}

Oh and bye the way, and completely off subject, but if the whole human race entered into a suicide pact tomorrow, would the climate stop changing?.............No thought not!:p

[Tigs2]

I like the one of the Prune FO who was not permitted to take her own sandwiches through security when she was about to go flying from LHR. Clearly there could have been explosive mustard or mayonaise or maybe a deadly poison in the sandwich. Reluctantly she gave up her sandwich and sped off in a hurry. After a couple of minutes she realised she had left something at security. She walked back to the area of the scanner, to find the security guard who had confiscated her sandwich as a lethal weapon, stood to one side eating her deadly sandwiches!!!

[wobble2plank]

Ahh, but the deep seated sense of impending doom goes even further thanks to a rigorous training scheme introduced at GLA. Whilst trying to perpetrate a nefarious scheme of operating an aircraft from GLA to LGW I was apprehended by a member of the A1 security team whilst going through the passenger check-in channel.

My despicable crime was to be in possession of a METAL club fork! This threw the said security guard into his in ground ultra security mode where he proceeded to announce to me, and all of my passengers, in a loud voice that I was carrying a BANNED fork. The said inflammatory item had obviously undergone some molecular transformation that made it highly dangerous in comparison to the other 150 forks in the aircraft catering trollies.

Bravely putting my head above the parapet, without the benefit of years of unswerving courage in the face of terrorist threat, I asked why! To my, and the passengers horror, he informed me, in my uniform, with my Airside pass, that I COULD FORCE MY WAY INTO THE COCKPIT WITH IT! My faith in security was restored, how could I have been so stupid not to see such a simple threat before my eyes. The terrorists would have picked up on it straight away! Forced their way through the cockpit door, stolen my fork, closed the door then attacked it from the outside with the fork and with religious zeal! What door could withstand that!

My fork, sadly, had to go :{

Our security hero did seem a little non plussed and somewhat noncommittal when I asked him, in his professional opinion, whether it was safe to load 5 tonnes of explosive liquid into the wings?

He went to his manager, the flight was delayed :ugh:

W2P

[Cumulogranite]

Interstingly there also appears to be some software upgrade to the X-Ray machines. It would appear that they can x-ray and declare safe a whole case of (insert liquid drink of your choice here) that is being delivered to the expensive shop, but the same machine is incapable of carrying out the same test to a single bottle that you try to carry through.

I wonder if I pop along to the local cash and carry and buy a case of my favourite soft drink if I can get through claiming it as a delivery (to my locker)

[Feather #3]

Perhaps we'd better not go there with the rumoured kiwi chainsaw incident?:ooh:

G'day ;)

[Metro man]

The top 10% of airport security staff have the brains, social skills and charm required for the wheel clamp unit and are promoted to this department of their companies quite quickly. I'm afraid we are stuck with the remainder :yuk:

[UniFoxOs]

Jim, you said, companies who supply people who are too stupid/fat to be a policeman, only thing I could find at fault in your post. Does such a person really exist??

Was amused to see the news last night, opening of LHR T5. Reporter showing us the new terminal "We can't show you the security, but I am assured there will be enough checkpoints to cope with any demand", whereupon the camera fast-forwarded through the security gates. Of course we can all see the danger in being allowed to see the security checkpoints on TV before we have to go there and walk through them. Or will we be going through blindfolded??

UFO

[randomair]

Letter in The Glasgow Herald from an airline captain:

May I use this forum to express my gratitude to the vigilant Glasgow
Airport security personnel who narrowly foiled a potentially horrible
terrorist atrocity last week.

As an airline captain I am very conscious that security is a team effort.
It's in my interest that all the links in the security chain are pulling
together in our efforts to keep the "baddies" off the aircraft. After all,
we pilots are usually the first to arrive at the scene of a crash, and that
is a fate we constantly strive to avoid. With this in mind, I naively
proceeded in uniform to my aircraft in the assumption that we crews were
"on side" with security.

Imagine, then, my horror when a sharp-eyed security person identified in my
flight bag last Friday a small bottle of Tabasco sauce (used by myself to
dull the horrors of airline catering). This item had transited security
many times over the past few months by virtue of a shocking application of
common sense and intelligent judgment by this guard's colleagues.

As I sat locked inside the flight deck with all the controls, a fire axe
and more than 100 tons of fuelled-up airliner in my hands, imagine the
chilli-based havoc I could have inflicted with this deadly substance.
Indeed, had the first officer smuggled a similar-sized bottle of ketchup
through security, the liquids could have been combined to produce a
potentially lethal barbecue marinade.

I consider the 10 minutes that the security team at Glasgow devoted to
publicly and loudly confiscating this item from my bag to have been another
minor victory in the "war on terror".

Thank heavens we are keeping our eye firmly on the ball.

[heidelberg]

Having arrived after a 9hr 30min flight at Orlando from Dublin we had to go a full 'departure' like security check on arrival!!!
Anyway, security found the half full small bottle of water I had with me posed a security check in Florida!
Having spent over 10 hours on board the EI '330' with a half empty bottle of water it is interesting to know that at ground level it is now a possible LETHAL WEAPON.
Oh dear.

[llondel]

We arrived on a connecting (domestic) flight into SFO and had a similar experience that what was safe on the first flight was no longer safe for the following international flight. The bottle in my son's carry-on was full (I'd forgotten it was there or I'd have drunk it) and got spotted at the security check. What was interesting is that the empty bottle in my carry-on was not, so I could have filled it at a suitable airside water fountain.

[PAXboy]

Last Tuesday (11th) I was on the short hop MAN~IOM and apart from the failure of the check-in luggage system, so that everyone had to take their bags to be deposited manually one-at-a-time to a fellow who was being patient and diligent, the airport was fine ...

My hand case was pulled and had to be searched. Eventually, they decided that what was a problem was my MagLite torch. It is the small one with two AA batteries. I have been carrying one of these for 20 years (each time I lose it, I buy another). They sent this back to be x-rayed all by itself as "It looked like a fork". That is, a pencil shaped torch, looked like a fork. Lucky I wasn't carrying that 2.5 Kg laptop (bash someone across the head with that and they will be temporarily discommoded) but all was well. They also used their sniffer pad system on several items in my hand case. I wonder what chemical analysis the machine made off the wrapper of a Kit-Kat (Chunky)?

On the belt issue, at MAN, belts were not to be taken off or (in my queue) shoes. The following day, IOM~LGW, it was no belts off but it was shoes off. As they only have a single channel, it meant that ALL belts were safe.

In the past, the IOM metal arch scanner has clearly been set at a higher sensitivity, as it reacts to things that the ones at LTN or LGW do not. The staff deny this and say that all scanners/detectors are set to the same sensitivity. However, they ALL miss the sharp blade that I carry with me. For more than five years, this blade - both straight edge and serrated - of 4 cm length, goes through every time. I have reached the point that I will not mind if they do eventually confiscate it, as it is so much fun each time they miss it. The blade will do a lot more damage to a human than my MagLite torch.

[llondel]

I tend to take my belt off for security as a matter of course, because it's got a metal buckle and it might set off a detector with the sensitivity wound up. Given that I'm normally stood in a queue with nothing better to do, it's not a problem given all the other hassles of emptying pockets and sorting out the bag of liquids and taking off my jacket.

However, a few years ago I went through a metal detector in a federal building in San Francisco and set off the detector there. The guard suggested I go back through the gate and try again with my hands over the belt buckle. This did the trick and I passed on the second attempt.

[Pete_slf]

Yesterday at EDI, I had to surrender my shampoo & shower gel to security. They were both in identical 80ml bottles inside my clear, resealable plastic bag. The reason for confiscation? The bottles were not marked with their capacity. These are the same bottles I've used since January when I started the MAN-EDI commute. EDI security have checked these bottles six times aready.

This leads me to one of two conclusions:
1. Security at EDI were over-zealous or in desparate need of a shower.

2. I have breached security 13 times over the last 7 weeks with these bottles, and it's a lucky thing that such dangerous items were finally confiscated.

I did ask how much sugar and weedkiller I could take on board. Apparently there's no restriction.:ugh:

What a complete waste of time airport security is.

[Clarence Oveur]

It has to be completely demoralising having to enforce security instructions that you know are idiotic. I suppose that is one reason for the high turnover of staff and apparent quality of same.

[crewmeal]

Ah marmite - you either love it or hate it. Terminal 3 security at LHR must hate it as they took a small jar off me. When I asked why, the nice man said it could make 100 litres of potentially dangerous liquid!! Enough said.

[ads1963]

Knifes are hidden in belt buckles nowagays!

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/200686357/Knife_belt_buckle.jpg

[CallBell]

"the nice man said it could make 100 litres of potentially dangerous liquid!! Enough said. "

With the water that is already on the aircraft?? Similar to security confiscating a sachet of soup powder "because it could be made into a liquid" :ugh:

[WHBM]

Well done to London's Metropolian Police Air Support Unit who yesterday afternoon (Saturday 15th March) found the time to dispatch one of their nice new EC145 Eurocopters to make a long slow aerial surveillance of London City Airport in case anyone with a rucksack was about to make a break for an aircraft on the runway (apparently the latest threat).

Unfortunately as they swept up and down at goodness-knows how much per hour they possibly noticed a bit of lack of aviation activity, London City always being closed from Saturday lunchtime to Sunday lunchtime. Oh well, we can always report to the tower that everything is fine. No, that's closed as well.

[rfw1]

If I get my maglite / sandwich / Whatever confiscated by security , am i entitled to some form of reciept or other docment recording what the have taken ?

[Tower Controller]

We recently had a security audit on our ATC unit. They informed me I couldn't keep a folding knife with a 4cm blade in my office, (I used it for opening the mail), because I might go nuts and take over the tower.....

4 meters from my office is our staff lunchroom complete with cutlery and butcher knives, however it can stay as long as we agree the knives are "only to be used for food preparation".

I feel safer already........

[heidelberg]

A few years ago I travelled business clas DUB to FRA with LH.
Plastic cutlery behind the curtain.
Yes, we had stainless steel cutlery!!!!! No comment really.
Such utter stupid security policies in place then - it's obviously no better now judging by what 'Tower Controller' says.
Who are these people who make up the rules?
I mean, are they not ordinary people like most of the rest of us, who can see straight away the stupidity of some of the so called security rules they lay down.
Stainless Steel security in LH Business Class and Ditto in the Staff ATC Canteen in Canada but the folding knife for opening mail is confiscated!!!!
Is it any wonder that 99.9% of the travelling public and those who operate the system are fed up with the 'neddies' who introduce these stupid security rules.
Surely the average TSA/Security person must be fed up with the glaring inconsistencies they have to deal with every day? Or do they care?

[Rush2112]

^^^ What he said.

I am sure that all of us agree that 'security' is important and that getting blown up on a plane would be A Bad Thing, but what p!sses everyone off is the stupid inconsistent approach.

If you pitched up at an airport and *knew* you would have to strip naked to go through the security check, because that was the rule at all airports, regardless of size of airport, location, domestic or international, whatever criteria, then that would be fine. You just accept it, and get on with it. The thing is, one airport says belts OK, not shoes. Next time, both OK, another time something else. You cannot mentally prepare, or physically prepare until you are next in line and you have to start faffing around with various articles of clothing - at least if you know, you can take the bloody belt off while you are waiting.

Same with bottles - if all airports applied the same rules, great. Changi, for instance, can see through your carry on bag so no need to put your embarrassing toiletries (including those nasty, strange creams from the doctor) on display, but most airports don't / can't / won't and make you put them separately in their little plastic bag. Why?

Confiscating Marmite, sandwiches, etc., well that's just plain jobsworth from someone being an utter arse, enjoying his / her ego trip IMHO.

I've been on flights with plastic cutlery up the back and metal flatware at the front. So they think terrorists are on a f'g tight budget? Hello? Weren't the 11 Sep bunch in Business Class?

I'd better stop, I can feel my blood pressure rising, and I'll start ranting about Singapore taxis next, that's my usual natural progression...:E

[Final 3 Greens]

I've been on flights with plastic cutlery up the back and metal flatware at the front. So they think terrorists are on a f'g tight budget?

IIRC that's always the way it's been - in this instance service differentiation is the driver, not security.

[jimworcs]

The inconsistancy is not necessarily between the back and the front, but the sheer stupidity of confiscating knives from passengers going through security and then handing them one once they get on the plane. "Would sir like a knife with a serrated edge or plain edge in order to hold the crew hostage and hijack the plane?"

[BaronChotzinoff]

Hmmm, not sure about the £5 car parking fee as a deterrent, as mentioned. In the good olde days of the IRA they'd never have raised that sort of capital though old-fashioned pub collections. But now - why, these terrorist buggers are RICH - with money we've given them through buying oil off them or contracting them to build roads in the fight against Russian invaders.

My favourite game is to smuggle tubes of chain grease back from Germany. You can't get it readily in UK and it lasts longer on bike chains than the 3-in-1 stuff. I've never had it confiscated yet, though you have to separate it from more obvious "terrorist equipment" - like puncture repair glue, which has been confiscated. Or the plastic zip-ties, which, apparently, can be used to tie someones hands behind their backs ... as can luggage straps, or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, frilly knickers ...

[jaycee58]

I suppose chopsticks could be one solution? Then again, you could poke somebody's eye out with one of those :bored:

[Rush2112]

I usually have a Mont Blanc ballpoint in my shirt pocket and it has a very pointy end which I am sure would do a lot more damage than a set of nail clippers. Never ever had anyone even look at it.

jimworcs - good point, the irony is lost on the jobsworths. How about all those glass wine bottles washing around the cabin, one of those would make a mess of someone's face, used strategically.

I had a flight a couple of years ago, on SQ somewhere in Europe, plastic on the way there and metal cutlery on the way back. Presumably terrorists dont get on planes in Europe. The CC said it was that country's regulation. Bizarre.

[Final 3 Greens]

The inconsistancy is not necessarily between the back and the front, but the sheer stupidity of confiscating knives from passengers going through security and then handing them one once they get on the plane. "Would sir like a knife with a serrated edge or plain edge in order to hold the crew hostage and hijack the plane?"

Bit of a difference in the damage that can be caused between a cutlery knife and a folding pocket knife, especially some of the Swiss knives that have edges optimised for gutting (I know, I have one.)

However, the point about glass bottles is perfectly made - a broken bottle makes a fearsome weapon.

[angels]

In the latest Private Eye there's a rather good cartoon of the queen being frisked after security found scissors on her when she went to open LHR T5!

[WHBM]

We recently had a security audit on our ATC unit. They informed me I couldn't keep a folding knife with a 4cm blade in my office, (I used it for opening the mail), because I might go nuts and take over the tower.....
Did you ask them what if you go nuts and vector two aircraft in IMC towards each other ?

[radeng]

So if I have to remove my belt and then end up with my trousers on the floor , possibly exposing all, who is responsible?

Can I sue for humilation? (Probably in the US)

[hellsbrink]

Can I sue for humilation? (Probably in the US)

Could others sue over the mental scarring they receive from such an incident?

[Exnomad]

The earlier comment about sometimes having to remove belt or shoes, and next time the reverse happening. This was happening in adjacent queues at LGW My queue had to remove shoes but not belts, the next queue was the opposite. The item on TV where the boffin made a very good bang from two 100ml bottles of something was interesting.
I also likes the driver's comment that he could do a lot more damage with his A/C than with a table knife.

[manintheback]

quote jetgirl
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once saw the security at Luton force an armed policeman to put his gun through the x-ray - after all it could have contained more than 50ml of liquid..........................
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Much repeated urban myth, substitute airport of choice.

[SXB]

Quite right. Police officers are one of the only groups of people who don't have to pass through security to access the airside areas. After all, what are security going to say ? "excuse me officer but you appear to carrying a heckler and koch MP5 sub-machine gun, a side arm, 5000 rounds of ammunition and german shepherd with sharp teeth"

Police officers are trusted individuals and as such we let them carry deadly weapons because, in the main, they enjoy our confidence to use them responsibly. Strangely, the flight deck crew, in possession of an aircraft filled with hundreds of tonnes of flammable material capable of killing thousands, a missile if you like, still routinely have parts of their lunch confiscated by security because if several parts of the said lunch were mixed together they could create some kind of bomb, other than the readily available flying missile there were piloting that day of course.

[Led Goose]

Quote "As I sat locked inside the flight deck with all the controls, a fire axe
and more than 100 tons of fuelled-up airliner in my hands, imagine the
chilli-based havoc I could have inflicted with this deadly substance.
Indeed, had the first officer smuggled a similar-sized bottle of ketchup
through security, the liquids could have been combined to produce a
potentially lethal barbecue marinade."

Brilliant!

I recently flew out of Lonon City and was glad to see that security was paramount in this centrally located airport. Before security, I was stopped by an official who would not let me pass until I furnished my boarding pass. He scanned it in to verify that I had the cunning ability to book a genuine flight and print the ticket (a common hurdle for terrorists to stumble apon) Identification was not needed as I passed the screening of looking like a sound geezer. I did have to take my shoes off as these, unlike the large metal belt I was wearing, could have a blade or other dangerous article concealed.

The liquid containers I'd forgotten to take out of my bag passed thru the machines with no problem as the operator must have identified that these liquids were clearly hair gel, aftershave and deodorant and not C4, petrol, acids or volatile substances such as the above pilots tobasco sauce:ok:.

I then went to the gate where I faced yet more scrutiny as a woman inspected the piece of paper I had printed myself, aforementioned boarding card. She scanned the ticket with a pair of devices I believe to be called "eyes" for one if not several seconds before letting me past. Again no form of ID was required because I passed the biometric screen of not looking like a mentalist or being foreign.

I then boarded the BaE 146 which would pose no danger if flown into Canary Wharf as 1) Even fully fuelled come on! its only a cute little 4 engine jet aircraft and 2) Canary wharf has a red light on top to scare off terrorists (I think it even flashes just to really put the s*!ts up them)

So to summarise! No ID needed at all, liquids fine just leave them in your bag?!

[Led Goose]

US airport security :E

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z7AWw7t5zj0&feature=related

[jaycee58]

If I was a wannabe terrorist I think it'd be pretty pointless to start from the UK anyway when it'd be much easier to start my journey at pretty well any west African airport.

Over the past few years I have flown regularly into and out of Lagos, Port Harcourt, Pointe Noire, Malabo, Angola, Port Gentil, Abidjan and Douala airports. Almost all of these have no decent security. Quite often the x-ray machines don't work. In almost all cases, the only question you will be asked by "security" is "what do have for me?" Pointe Noire was by far the worst for this, with Malabo a close second.

On arrival in Douala after a short flight from Malabo, I was handed a "security checked" sticker to put on my suitcase for the onward flight to CDG, with no checks being carried out at all. At most airports, the agent who would pick us up and take us to the airport was a buddy of the security staff, resulting in no checks on checked-in baggage.

Most European airline do have their own security staff on flights from west Africa who make checks on hand baggage before boarding but this often done in a rush on the tarmac at night and is clearly far from ideal. Some airlines, e.g. BA, also insist that checked-in baggage is identified on the tarmac by the SLF it belongs to but that doesn't necessarily mean it's safe!

Why would any terrorist start from the UK when he could blow up a plane full of Europeans and Americans on their way home from Africa?

[UniFoxOs]

Because he wants to fly the plane into Canary Wharf, or the Houses of Parliament, not a million miles from London City Airport??

[Led Goose]

yeah....... no offence Jaycee but you are way off the mark!

My point was I could easily have had a criminal record and even been on a terrorist watch list but I didnt have to show any ID to prove I was the name on the ticket, nor did the security check me and my bag+clothes properly. If I was a terrorist I could have slammed a BaE146 full of fuel and passengers into Canary Wharf or the Houses of Parliament.

What would send bigger shockwaves across world media/governments? African flight blows up mid-air or image of a London landmark with a plane sized flaming hole and several hundred/thousand dead??

Anyhooooo...! As it happened, I wasn't really in the mood that day so I stayed in my seat and read FHM

[FerrypilotDK]

...assuming you could get into the cockpit........146s locked????

[redsnail]

Went through security at T1 LHR last week. Laptops can now stay in your bag...

One day I want to take the crash axe through and see what happens. :E

[WX Man]

To put a different spin on things:

At XXXX (small airport in Ireland) last year, I'm about to go through security to get to my company's Kingair. It's parked next to a RYR 737. I begin to take off my belt, and put my bag on the X-ray machine when the security chap pipes up:

"aaah now, there's no need for you to be doing that. You're hardly going to sabotage your own aircraft now, are you?"

Thank you XXXX security, it's just a shame I can't name you for fear of having you hauled over the coals by the DFT!!!