offshoreigor
24th Nov 2000, 16:12
A Proclamation of the Annexization of The United States of America Into the Peace Loving Nation of Canada
Let all present bear witness, in that the Colonies to the south formerly (the USA), having failed to present a suitable candidate as Victor in the recent Presidential elections, are in contravention of the settlement of dispute, known as the War of 1812. Furthermore, let it be known that with no governing body in effect, that these covenants of peace are hereby withdrawn between the former USA and Canada (formerly Upper Canada).
As a demonstration of intent, Canada will hereby oversee all further governance of the aforementioned States, to be hence known as the province of Ya’ll.
To assist with the transition, the Right Honorable Jean Chretien, Prime Minister of Canada and Defender of the faith (except Quebec, that would be Saint Rene Leveques, god rest ‘is soul ess’tee), has laid down the following guidelines to prepare you for the inevitable.
1. All states beginning with the letter ‘A’ (pronounced ‘eh!’ ;) shall be given preferential treatment and shall provide the future ‘Eh’ristocracy’ of the states;
2. The morning Oath of Allegiance shall be preceded by the following pledge “There are NO IGLOOS south of 60 North!”;
3. Any person(s) found in possession of snow skis while crossing the US/Canada border between the months of March and December, will be subject to heavy fines and/or imprisonment;
4. We agree with the British proclamation of declaring war on Quebec and France, but don’t wait for the ‘Merde’ and by the way, only the use of low radioactivity weapons such as Neutron bombs are permitted;
5. The city of Hull, Quebec, shall be exempt from the above mentioned attack on weekends and holidays only;
6. In accordance with the International Will, American Rules Football shall adopt CFL rules and field size (thus eliminating that pansy 4th down);
7. Wayne Gretsky will be the appointed first Governor of the aforementioned new province with Stockwell Day as Premier, except on Sundays, when Preston Manning will fill in;
8. We have decided to keep the 4th of July Holiday as it will mean an even longer Long Weekend for us;
9. Free trade south of the former USA will cease and desist as it really, really embarrasses our trade unions!;
10. Disregard point #9, as this is a good thing;
11. The Bald Eagle shall no longer be the symbol of the US as it only resides in Canada anyway.; and
12. George W. Bush, for his meritorious service to the former USA, shall be immediately appointed Mayor of Moose Jaw, an infinitely more important position of power.
Cheers, OffshoreIgor
Take off, Eh!
[This message has been edited by offshoreigor (edited 24 November 2000).]
Let all present bear witness, in that the Colonies to the south formerly (the USA), having failed to present a suitable candidate as Victor in the recent Presidential elections, are in contravention of the settlement of dispute, known as the War of 1812. Furthermore, let it be known that with no governing body in effect, that these covenants of peace are hereby withdrawn between the former USA and Canada (formerly Upper Canada).
As a demonstration of intent, Canada will hereby oversee all further governance of the aforementioned States, to be hence known as the province of Ya’ll.
To assist with the transition, the Right Honorable Jean Chretien, Prime Minister of Canada and Defender of the faith (except Quebec, that would be Saint Rene Leveques, god rest ‘is soul ess’tee), has laid down the following guidelines to prepare you for the inevitable.
1. All states beginning with the letter ‘A’ (pronounced ‘eh!’ ;) shall be given preferential treatment and shall provide the future ‘Eh’ristocracy’ of the states;
2. The morning Oath of Allegiance shall be preceded by the following pledge “There are NO IGLOOS south of 60 North!”;
3. Any person(s) found in possession of snow skis while crossing the US/Canada border between the months of March and December, will be subject to heavy fines and/or imprisonment;
4. We agree with the British proclamation of declaring war on Quebec and France, but don’t wait for the ‘Merde’ and by the way, only the use of low radioactivity weapons such as Neutron bombs are permitted;
5. The city of Hull, Quebec, shall be exempt from the above mentioned attack on weekends and holidays only;
6. In accordance with the International Will, American Rules Football shall adopt CFL rules and field size (thus eliminating that pansy 4th down);
7. Wayne Gretsky will be the appointed first Governor of the aforementioned new province with Stockwell Day as Premier, except on Sundays, when Preston Manning will fill in;
8. We have decided to keep the 4th of July Holiday as it will mean an even longer Long Weekend for us;
9. Free trade south of the former USA will cease and desist as it really, really embarrasses our trade unions!;
10. Disregard point #9, as this is a good thing;
11. The Bald Eagle shall no longer be the symbol of the US as it only resides in Canada anyway.; and
12. George W. Bush, for his meritorious service to the former USA, shall be immediately appointed Mayor of Moose Jaw, an infinitely more important position of power.
Cheers, OffshoreIgor
Take off, Eh!
[This message has been edited by offshoreigor (edited 24 November 2000).]