View Full Version : So...if Death came calling...?

Buster Hyman
6th Mar 2008, 10:10


"Oh...Hello Mr. Reaper..."

What would you say?

Dan D'air
6th Mar 2008, 10:17
'Can you come back next week? I am rostered to Las Vegas tomorrow.'

6th Mar 2008, 10:18
Was it the salmon mousse....?


6th Mar 2008, 10:31
Well that's cast rather a gloom over the evening hasn't it? :(

tony draper
6th Mar 2008, 10:35
"Hey Death, how's it hangin" :rolleyes:
Or in the case of the Dali Lama. "Oh Buggah! not you again"

Krystal n chips
6th Mar 2008, 10:37
"It would appear that not only are you an ugly tú$t.....you're a thick one as well.....can't you read the sign "No Cold Callers! "

6th Mar 2008, 10:52
"Can I try that takeoff again, after de-icing?"

6th Mar 2008, 11:03
Ladies first - you know where the ex lives!

6th Mar 2008, 11:22
"Oi.....I am smoking a faaaaaaaag"

*lame attempt at Waynetta Slob*

6th Mar 2008, 11:38
Piss off, I've just paid for a year's car tax.

Buster Hyman
6th Mar 2008, 12:08
"No, no Swayze's here...try next door."

Spaz Modic
6th Mar 2008, 12:17
:ugh: Krap!:=

6th Mar 2008, 12:39
"I'm waiting for a second opinion"

6th Mar 2008, 12:52
Get that makeup off, faggot!

Charlie Foxtrot India
6th Mar 2008, 12:52
"Is it about the hedge?....

It's a 'Mr. Death' or something. He's come about the reaping? I don't think we need any at the moment."

"You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say 'let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this'. Well, you're dead now, so shut up!"

Alloa Akbar
6th Mar 2008, 13:03
I'd say "Hi Dude... No regrets"

(sheeesh that was deep!!! :O)

6th Mar 2008, 13:19
Why has everyone so far invariably assumed that death is always or at least mostly associated with the appearance of an evil-looking "grim reaper"? Or is that just for sudden deaths or sinners? And what about elephants (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7262951.stm)? Or will they just hear the scarily loud cacaphony of a helicopter approaching and then look up to see a ranger in a bush-hat pointing a thunder-stick at them?! :confused:

6th Mar 2008, 13:39
What I will know is this. The very moment I die I will know there is life after death, which there surely is.

As any of us could perish "tomorrow", be prepared comes mind.

6th Mar 2008, 13:52
Fancy a game of battleships Mr Reaper Dude, or can I call you Grim?

6th Mar 2008, 14:31
Can I see some ID?


6th Mar 2008, 14:38
Should Death come a calling, I'd beat the shit out of him for taking my Mum too early, then I'd kill him and see how he likes it....

6th Mar 2008, 14:56
Mr Reaper? Bugger, I thought I was meeting Mr Draper :mad:

6th Mar 2008, 15:32
Can I see your biometric ID card? You can't bring that yoghurt through here: it's the rules, I don't make them, just apply them.

6th Mar 2008, 15:49
I've read enough discworld books to know how to beat Death....

6th Mar 2008, 16:31
"I've read enough Biggles books to know that you only die when you feel cold and have a rattle in your throat. Now Mr D before we carry on this conversation I am just going to get my scarf as its a bit parky. Oh bugga......"

6th Mar 2008, 16:36
"Not now I'm on the toi..l..e..t."

Standard Noise
6th Mar 2008, 16:38
'Ah, Mr Death how are you today? Did I mention I'm a Jehovah's Witness? Would you like a copy of The Watchtower? Mr Death! Mr Death! No, come back, please, I haven't finished yet....................

6th Mar 2008, 16:40
Bring it on, big guy, and make it quick. Err, can you just make sure any iffy stuff is off my computer so my little girls never see it? Thanks, that would be good.

Oh, and if you could order my epitaph... "What was that all about?" I'd appreciate that too; but hey, you're the one holding the thingy... scythe?

6th Mar 2008, 17:00
Fancy a game of battleships Mr Reaper Dude, or can I call you Grim?

Bill and Ted's bogus Journey

Waaaaay out there Dude!!!

6th Mar 2008, 18:07
Does this mean that I am banned from PPRuNe for life?

Beatriz Fontana
6th Mar 2008, 20:16
Blimey, you're early...

6th Mar 2008, 20:43
No, sorry not this time, I already gave at the office.

6th Mar 2008, 20:50
When he called on me he looked nothing like that, more like a management consultant. I told him I wasn't ready yet, so he left, leaving behind a strong smell of peppermint.

Beware of tall thin men offering you a polo without a hole in the middle.

6th Mar 2008, 21:05
"Oh really? So, who died and made you... um?"

Little Blue
6th Mar 2008, 21:06
"Look, I told you last week that it's only a bloody sniffle, ok?"

6th Mar 2008, 21:55
The last person to fetch me this early was my dad, and I was wrapped around that blonde bird from the girls' school having a smooch to Nights in White Satin.

Dan D'air
6th Mar 2008, 22:15
airborne artist,


Outstanding!! Not only hysterical but you have managed to include references to at least 3 current other threads. :ok:

tony draper
6th Mar 2008, 22:23
Apparently you will neither see nor hear the new Stealth Death approach.:uhoh:

Beatriz Fontana
6th Mar 2008, 22:52
Apparently you will neither see nor hear the new Stealth Death approach.

Oh thanks, Drapes. Here's me having Saag Paneer before bedtime, now I'm really going to have nightmares!!

Dan D'air
6th Mar 2008, 22:57
Why Beatriz?

Have you been eating cheese again?

Beatriz Fontana
6th Mar 2008, 23:00
Yep. Curried cheese in spinach. Tasty. Had to go out for it at the local take-out. Daren't leave any cheese in my fridge...

Dan D'air
6th Mar 2008, 23:04
No. Dan D'air do that, It would all be gone in the morning.

Beatriz Fontana
6th Mar 2008, 23:14
That would be crackers...

(and they disappeared, too) :O

6th Mar 2008, 23:44
Bring it on, big guy, and make it quick. Err, can you just make sure any iffy stuff is off my computer so my little girls never see it? Thanks, that would be good.
Oh, and if you could order my epitaph... "What was that all about?" I'd appreciate that too; but hey, you're the one holding the thingy... scythe?Since Binos has broached the positive response, I'll concur.
Some years ago I collapsed with symptoms that I assumed were 'fatal'. I was distressed, not because of myself, but at the thought of my family being bereaved.
I survived and recovered (well, almost) and 'gave thanks' and rejoiced in my rebirth. I visited places that made me happy, and thought that life was good. Then my wife decided that, having recovered, she would tell me that she wanted to live with someone else. I decided that I wanted to die, but, again, I reflected on the effect this would have on my children, and I stayed my hand.
I came close, very close.
I've decided that I've procreated, and that both of my offspring are settled with partners and are sufficiently independent for me to 'slip away' and leave them.
I no longer intend to assist my departure (people have told me that that is selfish, though my reflection on what effect my demise would have had on those remaining seems to be to assume an importance that in itself seems pompous), but I am resigned to the fact that my job is done and that my offspring could better use the earthly resources that I would leave behind.
I am at a crossroad, and will be leaving the dream home that I believed would be where I would spend the rest of my days - not by choice, but as a result of my wife's decision to start a new life without me.
I have no desire to fight . . .
Mr De'ath is welcome to claim me whenever (and however) - though I would be grateful if it was quick.

PS I don't have anything on my computer of which I am ashamed, so scrub that bit, but I'd share Bino's epitaph.

7th Mar 2008, 00:02
Sorry, but daddy told me not to go out with strange men......... and believe me, you're strange.

Buster Hyman
7th Mar 2008, 00:40
Gee-Zuzz G, that's one hell of a thread drift.:ooh: Albeit, still in the same context I'll grant you.

I think you'd have Death weeping at the door mate.:(

7th Mar 2008, 01:09
Thank you for your contribution....
Quite a while ago, I was [subconsiously] aware of Marital problems....and I was looking for an "easy" [if there is such a thing] way out.....Obviously I didn't take it.
BUT if the Big Guy comes now, I have made my peace. I have provided for my "Loved Ones".....
I won't go with "open arms" but with a quiet dignity..........I hope

7th Mar 2008, 01:19
Or to repeat an oldie, a copy of which I used to have above my computer;

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and shouting like the other four people in his car. :ooh:

7th Mar 2008, 01:30
No no Binos, in this place it's

"When I die I want to go quietly in my sleep like my Grandpa, not screaming like the 300 SLF!"

7th Mar 2008, 01:37
Sometimes the simple original is the best, Mr Hooks. Aircraft carrying three hundred pax are rarely single pilot ops.:hmm:

7th Mar 2008, 01:40
Yes Mr Binos, you know that, and I know that, but the vast majority of the population don't.

7th Mar 2008, 02:43
Do you have an appointment, Mr. Reaper?

7th Mar 2008, 03:02
Fancy a brew?

Buster Hyman
7th Mar 2008, 03:06
"Butch and Sundance: The early years???? :confused: BWAHAHAHAHAHA"

7th Mar 2008, 03:35
... but I haven't a thing to wear. Is this formal or casual? :uhoh:

7th Mar 2008, 03:38
if the reaper comes...i'll just pop one question....

"Shouldn't you be at my in-laws?" :O

7th Mar 2008, 03:59
I have a sign hanging at the entry to the farm, "if you can read this, you are in range" and no special treatment for the reaper.:p

Track Coastal
7th Mar 2008, 04:16
"I'm happy with my mobile phone service, I'm happy with my mortgage provider and I'm a non-practicing catholic and possibly an atheist, also I give to the Red Cross and the Salvos, if you are a valid charity, leave a flyer in the mailbox on your way down the drive way AND I'm watching the cricket and relaxing on one of my few days off so NO THANKS to what ever you are peddling, good bye" *slam*

7th Mar 2008, 04:24
Aaah, just in time, it's your shout ya b#stard!!

7th Mar 2008, 05:08
Whew, what a relief this will sort out a lot of problems.. Or at least leave them to someone else...

Just tell my boss those manuals aren't finished yet!

7th Mar 2008, 05:46
If I see this guy....I have to assume either I'm in 'SCARY MOVIE 4' or someone is trying to pull a copy cat....in the former, I will let you know how the hot tub in Hollywood feels...in the latter, I grab the .45.

If this is death, and he really does look like this, and comes for ya...well, it's not part of any afterlife or religion that I studied....things are truly bad..

But as Dante said...or was it Milton....

'better to reign in hell, then be a servant in heaven'

Never give up....and if things are bad, you go down fighting......


7th Mar 2008, 06:31
"You'll never take me alive!"

7th Mar 2008, 06:45
" I'm sorry John Winston Howard doesn"t live here" :E

7th Mar 2008, 07:32
Where's Binky?

7th Mar 2008, 07:35
Who died and left you in charge?

7th Mar 2008, 07:35
"ah balls"

7th Mar 2008, 09:12

(from XKCD (http://xkcd.com/) today)

Pinky the pilot
7th Mar 2008, 09:22
''**** off you bag of bones before I feed you through a mulcher and use what's left of you for fertilizer!!''

Mostly Harmless
9th Mar 2008, 03:57
Honey, the baby sitter is here.