Strange requests

[Rocket Scientist]

Call bell pings...

Yes, can I have 5 sheets of A4 paper, and can I have beige, not white please?

Sorry, we are an airline, not a stationers!

Call bell pings...

Different passenger

Can I see the skin doctor please, I have a rash.

La de dah

[gravity victim]

I'm sorry about that, but the rash has really been worrying me and seems to be spreading fast.....do please thank the Captain for sending back his personal tube of ointment, which was really nice of him.. :)

[HugMonster]

A rather camp guy I used to work with once was dealing with a woman who'd been a PITA since boarding, pinging the bell every 5 minutes, when she demanded he bring her something for her throat.

He went off to the galley, returned with a tray covered by a napkin, which he whipped off in best Savoy Hotel style, to reveal a knife...

------------------
Breeding Per Dementia Unto Something Jolly Big, Toodle-pip

[man in black]

I asked this question of a crew and she gave the following story:

A passenger (who had been a bad rash on previous flights) zeroed in on a new FA on CX during the bar service and requested, with a degree of irritation and seriousness, that he be brought a new drink, with the "non-melting" ice cubes. The young lady returned to the galley and asked all of her colleagues where she could find the stuff. The ISM heard about the request,admonished the junior that no such thing existed on board and went out with her to see the pax. The ISM cajoled the pax and invited him for a drink at their destination. There (the excited)pax was met at a bar. A few minutes later before drinks arrived, the ISM went to washrooms, never to return. The pax was then left alone, frustrated and staring at a highball stocked with dry ice....next to which was a note "sorry, it took so long"

[This message has been edited by man in black (edited 14 January 2001).]

[RadioFlyer]

Operated on a long regional turn-around flight a couple of months ago, you know, one of those where you report for work in the wee hours of the morning and come home late that night. On the return sector, a lady with a rather vacant expression asked me what the weather was like in Hong Kong.

"Well, it was rather chilly when we left this morning, though the weather reports did say it would warm up during the day ... " I replied sunnily.

"No, I mean what's the weather like now," she persisted.

I was briefly taken aback, but bravely attempted a more accurate response: "We're not landing for another hour or so, but the Captain should come on the PA when we begin descent and will update you on the weather you can expect when we arrive." Hah.

But she was not so easily appeased. "But I would like to know what it's like there right now."

Grrrrrr ... :mad:

"Oh, you meant right now, did you?" I said, dripping with sweetness. "Pardon me, my mistake. Please give me a moment while I establish my telepathic connection with the Hong Kong Observatory ..."

:) :) :)

[MissLeopard]

Don't folks drive you nuts?especially the ones who ask "where are we over RIGHT NOW?" just as you are in the middle of ten things!
Flying back from Goa last weekend I was sitting down in the flight deck when one of the other crew came in and asked the dreaded question.we were all in a jolly mood and after much giggling we decided we were flying over the Turkish Alps.Unfortunately the poor harassed crew member took it seriously and duly informed the passenger ,who looked again,and enthusiastically thanked her! Well she was so embarassed when she realised what she had said to the person, but we fell about laughing at the thought of:"Well, it was a great flight back from Goa!FAB view of the Turkish Alps, as well!" I know its not nice to take the P out of the pax but it was so funny and kept us laughing all the way home! :)

[GalleyWench]

One of my colleagues , when asked what river/mountain range/city we are over always has the same answer. We are over the Dilligaf river/mountain range/town. Dilligaf being an acronym for Do I Look Like I Give A Fu**? No one has questioned this answer in 15 years!

[Evacu8]

Weird request no. 1:

SIN-SYD flight - half white wine, half red wine and a dash of lemonade in a glass
-(yuck)

Weird request no. 2:

"Do you have 3-D glasses for this movie?"
- no comment necessary !!

Weird Request No. 3:

SYD-LAX

"Do you have any tampons? I need the medium size, not the small, not the large but the medium"

- I'm a male flight attendant on board with 15 females!! As if I want to know (or care)what size tampons you require luv !

Most common question:
Where are we now?

Answer:
On a plane.

It takes all types !!! :)

[scanscanscan]

On a Gulf Air Flight London to Doha the first class male royalty did not appreciate the Christmas meal,he waved the meat impaled on his fork in the stewardesses face, shouting "This is pig!" and repeated this several times. Recovering her composure she smiled sweetly and asked,"Which end of the fork are you referring to sir?" Nice one or not? She was a nice girl who had done enough years in Iran and escaped with her life during the revolution. Needless to say she was fired within minutes of landing safely in Doha, but she is remembered!!

[haamdhanimaid]

Gulf Air is the best for strange requests:

1. (on a flight from DAR to Gulf): Can I speak to the DJ?
Sorry, he's busy mixing at the moment...

2. I want non-veg wine

3. Whiskey on the rocks, no ice.

4. (after having OJ spilt on him): now I want you to wash my clothes and dry them so I can arrive in KHI clean...

[Porcupine]

Mine the other day was a CANDLE.Don,t even go there.!!

[OzPax1]

This story was passed to me by my uncle who flys regulary to New York on business. On this paticular trip he gotthat magic upgrade to First, and so got a ringside seat for the following tale!!

There was a female passeger with a 18 month old baby on his flight. She was being very demanding, pressing the call button every few mins for various 'little' requests. This went on for some time until the baby had an 'accident' in his nappy. So..ding.. "Change him will you!" At the end of his tether, of went the cabin crew member to the economy section, he asked another parent of a young baby if he could borrow their toddeler for a few mins. He then walked back to the First Class passenger and placed the exchanged baby in her lap.

Classic if you ask me!! :)

[Rocket Scientist]

That is one of the oldest airline urban myths in the book!!!

The original version is that it happened on a flight to South Africa, and the steward changed the white baby for a lovely cuddly black one!!!