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F3
13th Dec 2007, 11:59
Why has the inappropriate use of the phrase 'not a problem' been embraced with such enthusiasm recently?
The phrase seems most prolific when being questioned on the doorstep by fellows trying to flog broadband/telephone packages and is used extensively by people selling just about anything.

Not a problem in itself, but there must be a more surreptitious way of exercising sycophancy.

G-CPTN
13th Dec 2007, 12:01
For sure . . .

tony draper
13th Dec 2007, 12:07
Lessons will be learned. :rolleyes:

Gainesy
13th Dec 2007, 12:07
Snagless
.

west lakes
13th Dec 2007, 12:18
have a nice day:)

VitaminGee
13th Dec 2007, 12:21
No worries

[abbreviated to n'urries on occasions]

Alloa Akbar
13th Dec 2007, 12:21
its a no brainer

27mm
13th Dec 2007, 12:23
At the end of the day.....

Ace Rimmer
13th Dec 2007, 12:24
going forward...

tony draper
13th Dec 2007, 12:27
All thing being equal.

anotherthing
13th Dec 2007, 12:30
when push comes to shove, it's a case of swings and roundabouts

27mm
13th Dec 2007, 12:30
Please do not hesitate to call.....

goudie
13th Dec 2007, 12:41
Absobloodylutely

anotherthing
13th Dec 2007, 12:45
Exactly, got it in one

modtinbasher
13th Dec 2007, 12:45
very robust

Binoculars
13th Dec 2007, 12:48
I see where you're coming from.....

airborne_artist
13th Dec 2007, 13:15
Just make sure you are in the right ball-park, that it's a level playing field and that no-one has moved the goal-posts :ugh:

VitaminGee
13th Dec 2007, 13:16
.....in a big hand, small map kind of way, having dovetailed initiatives to downsize and upskill while retaining loyalty to our team ethic and mission statement. :yuk:

Binoculars
13th Dec 2007, 13:20
Look, I'll get my people to meet with your people, and we'll brainstorm, because empowerment is the name of the game. We really need to stretch the envelope and meet world's best practice...

Forkandles
13th Dec 2007, 13:27
One more for a full house if you keep this up fellas!



http://www.rpgclassics.com/subsites/nonrpghumor/bullshitbingo.jpg

Howard Hughes
13th Dec 2007, 13:42
The saying that seems to be taking Oz by storm is "it's all good", what? What's all fecking good?:{

I consider "not a problem" to be, well "not a problem"!;)

west lakes
13th Dec 2007, 13:45
as long as there's plenty of stakeholder involvement

VitaminGee
13th Dec 2007, 13:50
while senior management have fact free discussions!

G-CPTN
13th Dec 2007, 14:24
Has anybody looked at the bigger picture?


Or considered the synergy of the situation?

frostbite
13th Dec 2007, 14:31
I love it when it's used most inappropriately:-

'My car crashed into the front of the house, setting it on fire and my wife and kids are trapped in there'.

'Not a problem'.

Woofrey
13th Dec 2007, 14:34
Hmmmm, let me run those up the flagpole and create a few scenario options.

goudie
13th Dec 2007, 15:20
So, what's your primary game plan and fallback postion, to ensure consolidation of maximised revenue streams, post product entry into the market place?

Do you mean have I a got a Business plan?

Er, yes.

I still recall the meeting after 20 years.

rubik101
13th Dec 2007, 16:30
Doesn't stretching the envelope incur a £1.06 penalty?

Foss
13th Dec 2007, 17:15
Marketing speak.
I'd rather staple my eyelids to the floor. They are all muppets.

On the day of the Shuttle disaster, when they all burnt up on re-entry, double sided spread, a marketeer asked could we still run a front page Ad picture promo of 'Ireland from Space pictures by NASA'.

Nope.
Fos

Foxy Loxy
13th Dec 2007, 17:19
"Leave it with me....."

Foxy

Howard Hughes
13th Dec 2007, 17:22
Has anybody "run this up the flagpole"? :rolleyes:

Sir George Cayley
13th Dec 2007, 17:34
Now just STOP IT. All of you now! This is getting silly.



I think we need to get a helicopter view of the problem.



Whirls?



Sir George Cayley

Howard Hughes
13th Dec 2007, 17:48
Come on you lot, you've been slacking, time to go "the whole nine yards" me thinks!;)

Thats one for the Cousins.:E

fireflybob
13th Dec 2007, 18:27
There are of course no "problems", just challenges, situations and opportunities.

G-CPTN
13th Dec 2007, 18:38
There are of course no "problems", just challenges, situations and opportunities.
Our product 'problems' were merely product 'concerns' - officially!

Bluesteel705
13th Dec 2007, 18:58
I think we need to view this thread with an uncluttered radar, I'll focus you in on the details when Ive touched base. :ok:

Foxy Loxy
13th Dec 2007, 19:00
Our product 'problems' were merely product 'concerns' - officially!

Where I used to work, there were no "problems," only "issues."

Foxy

Woofrey
13th Dec 2007, 19:33
This feedback has been invaluable, and of course,.......we will take this on board, and, in due course, lessons will be learnt.

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 19:50
Try and change these people and you'll soon realise.... 'rome wasnt built in a day'.
DPT

Lamenting Navigator
13th Dec 2007, 19:50
Ha! Anyone who has worked with the UK civil service will be well versed in the old buzzword bingo. I've actually stopped quite a high-spending official in his tracks to ask what the :mad: he was talking about because it was all "consultant speak".

Bad enough trying to deal with the other two Services, the grey suits and political masters, let alone the consultants.

Foxy Loxy
13th Dec 2007, 19:52
Don't worry, "it'll all come out in the wash."

Foxy

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 19:56
Also... while we're ranting about these muppets.... what's this new found fascination with the word 'like'? the majority of my friends, particularly the younger ones dont seem to start a single scentence without the word 'like'

One particar girl was here tonight talking about her day at work and she said..

"Anyway so i was like so gutted, and she was just like the same as me and I was like whats this all about, and she was like, yeah I know man, and I was just like this is just like so not funny......"

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!


DPT

airborne_artist
13th Dec 2007, 19:56
I'll make sure we are all singing from the same hymn sheet and if you get all your ducks in a row we should be OK.

HILF
13th Dec 2007, 20:00
As sent to the muppets at a large 4 letter UK supermarket chain (starts and ends with A) this evening

(rant mode on :-(

"
FOR THE ATTENTION OF KATE HARRISON

Further to your e-mail below, I have not as yet received the welcome pack you promised. When I rang this evening to query this, I was informed by one of your colleagues that I now had to provide further proofs of identity. Having already provided you with both passport and driving licence numbers and as the “proud owner” of an A**A credit card – I suggest that your company already knows quite enough about my bona fides.

If you don’t want my money, you only need say – you don’t have to put me through the 3rd degree (or perhaps I should have taken the hint already?).

Assuming that you still wish to afford me the privilege of one of your e-savings accounts, so that I can join that select band who have traversed the outer rings of Dante’s Inferno so to do (you can Google the reference WHEN you’ve finished dealing with the c**k-up on this account) – please rush me a welcome pack so that I may embark upon my mad savings adventure!

Application reference number 9********7"

Rant mode off :-)


Missing you already :ugh::ugh::ugh:

arcniz
13th Dec 2007, 21:42
Also... while we're ranting about these muppets.... what's this new found fascination with the word 'like'? the majority of my friends, particularly the younger ones dont seem to start a single scentence without the word 'like'
One particar girl was here tonight talking about her day at work and she said..
"Anyway so i was like so gutted, and she was just like the same as me and I was like whats this all about, and she was like, yeah I know man, and I was just like this is just like so not funny......"


Using "like" as a substitute for pauses, punctuation, verbs and other quaint bits is the hallmark of Valgal, the lingua franca of teen girls in the San Fernando Valley, just north of Los Angeles.

Funny thing is, Valgal as a fad is now at least 25 years old, so it is seen as rather unstylish and passe at the place of its birth. For time reference, Frank Zappa's first daughter, Moon Unit, is thought to be the original author or at least the poster-child for the global proliferation of Valgal.

For further enlightenment, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_Unit_Zappa

Buster Hyman
13th Dec 2007, 22:21
Allow me to touch base with you...
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1126/1236259616_fddf095434.jpg?v=0 ...with my new bat!:suspect:

goudie
13th Dec 2007, 22:48
Keep it on the back burner until we're cooking on gas!

Standard Noise
13th Dec 2007, 22:54
Favourite one in our place - 'and all that good stuff.' WTF does that actually mean?

And anyone who says 'at the end of the day' ought to be birched!

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 23:16
Just had somebody say to me... Ok cool, well ping me your CV and I'll see it gets to the right front door. WTF?

DPT

G-CPTN
13th Dec 2007, 23:17
anyone who says 'at the end of the day' ought to be birched!
Likewise "at this moment in time".

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 23:24
Unless of course its the weather man explaining the evening met conditions..:ok::ok:

DPT

goudie
13th Dec 2007, 23:28
'What's going dahn'?
Oh leave it aht, I was gutted, doin me 'ead in.
I mean what are you like?

I blame Dell Boy.

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 23:50
And what about... "What are you like?"

drives me scatty that one..!

DPT

kiwi chick
13th Dec 2007, 23:51
S-weeeeeeeet. :cool:




and that other commonly used phrase I'm beginning to get sick of:

"im not looking for a relationship....."

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x105/kiwiflygirl/PMSL-1.gif

dontpressthat
13th Dec 2007, 23:53
Or... its not you its me:ok:

DPT

con-pilot
14th Dec 2007, 00:01
"im not looking for a relationship....."

I tried that with Mrs. C-P 20 years ago KC.

Didn't work. :(


I keed, I keed. :p

empacher48
14th Dec 2007, 04:46
We have got our window of opportunity....

Fliegenmong
14th Dec 2007, 05:23
From the mouth of an ex Australian Airlines (original australian airlines that is :ok:) manager


"We've given you the watch, you tell us the time" :yuk:

Wingswinger
14th Dec 2007, 07:38
My standard reply to "not a problem" - " I should bloody well think not!"

Howard Hughes
14th Dec 2007, 07:41
Lets form a 'working party', to 'report back', to the 'executive committee'!;)

goudie
14th Dec 2007, 07:51
clean sheet design

Flap 5
14th Dec 2007, 07:58
I see you are all thinking outside the box. :ok:

F3
14th Dec 2007, 08:04
'I'm in major cellular rejuvenation mode, fast-tracking my way to eternal biological viability.'

Gus Hedges (Drop The Dead Donkey) - the king of managementspeak bs?

goudie
14th Dec 2007, 12:56
Gus Hedges (Drop The Dead Donkey) - the king of managementspeak bs?

Agreed and of course like many of his counterparts in real life, bloody useless at his job!

matt_hooks
14th Dec 2007, 13:53
So, when we've finished kicking this back and forth, brainstormed it and picked over the bones, do you think we might move forward towards the downsizing and upskilling without the HR implications?

The proof of the pudding......

Yes, that would be ...is in the eating!!!

I mean for fecks sake, if you're going to use a trite, hackneyed phrase, at least know what it is in its entirety, and what it means!

So many examples...

Great minds think alike....

yes, but..... fools seldom differ.

Flypuppy
14th Dec 2007, 18:10
We can leverage the synergies to protect the downside.

Building value based on mutual colleague trust.

The helicopter view will allow the battlefield to be clearly seen at this moment in time.

DBisDogOne
14th Dec 2007, 18:37
More Gus Hedges classics:

"Let me park this idea in your mental multi-story"

"Put this suggestion in your mental washing machine and put it on spin-cycle"

Also, generally, those who insist on suffixing every sentence with
"Yah kno' waaa meen" (Yes, I do know what you mean, I speak english, which is more than you can manage evidently).

and my fave:

"We've come full circle back to square one"

G-BPED
14th Dec 2007, 19:37
" Ok, let me play the Devils advocate "

or

" I hear what your saying "

Both terms used by an Ex regional manager.

There were groans all round when he used these phrases many times during the Monthly Brainstorming session :rolleyes:

Parapunter
14th Dec 2007, 19:43
I started a business. And for two reasons:

1) To make a few bob.


2) And to get away from all those wankers who really do think that shite is acceptable.

DBisDogOne
14th Dec 2007, 19:43
G-BPED:

"I hear what you're saying" - the bit that's never said but completes the sentence when being used as Suit-Speak is:

".... but I'm going to completely disregard it anyway"

BAMRA wake up
14th Dec 2007, 19:47
Had a bloke in a garage tell me recently that it was a 'centre of excellence'!

G-BPED
14th Dec 2007, 20:07
G-BPED:

"I hear what you're saying" - the bit that's never said but completes the sentence when being used as Suit-Speak is:

".... but I'm going to completely disregard it anyway"


Exactly DBisDogOne. Whenever he came out with that line we all knew that he had erased all memory of what had just been explained to him

Regards,

G-BPED

DBisDogOne
14th Dec 2007, 20:32
Bloody hell BAMRA, don't get me started on "Centre of Excellence"

Roughly translated, this means "Expect total mediocrity but with name tags and a bunch of meaningless 'Qualifications' plastered on the wall"

Lamenting Navigator
14th Dec 2007, 20:35
My civvie boss (as opposed to the sensible one in light blue higher up the food chain) actually said "over the horizon planning" this week.

What the :mad: does that mean?

Liffy 1M
14th Dec 2007, 20:37
I think we need to catch "the low-hanging fruit".

goudie
14th Dec 2007, 20:47
Permit me to share a 'Blue Sky Scenario' with you.

I've just read a post saying 'thanks for the heads up'

Up bloody where?

Lamenting Navigator
14th Dec 2007, 20:57
Nothing wrong with "heads up". Also "incoming" when applied to senior officers or small missiles (coins, foam stress toys, etc).

kevmusic
14th Dec 2007, 23:22
With respect, you can see where I'm coming from.

DBisDogOne
16th Dec 2007, 12:26
Just remembered this oldie an ex-boss used to frequently use:

"Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it shall we?"

:yuk:

S'land
16th Dec 2007, 12:51
Bloody hell BAMRA, don't get me started on "Centre of Excellence"

Roughly translated, this means "Expect total mediocrity but with name tags and a bunch of meaningless 'Qualifications' plastered on the wall"

I think that you forgot to add "and able to charge an extra 20% for these qualifications" :rolleyes:.

If you see what I mean:oh:.

Lamenting Navigator
16th Dec 2007, 12:57
DBisDogOne: permission to use that in the office tomorrow? That's superb!!

gassed budgie
16th Dec 2007, 13:06
My favorite.

"Your shout!"

Radar66
16th Dec 2007, 13:11
"Listen up, people. I want you all to go out there create synergistic win-wins that positively impact the bottom line."

"If you are currently engaged in valued added initiatives, then you can skip this opportunity to exchange information regarding these strategic directives relating to our divisions scorecard goals and objectives." ie: you don't have to go to that meeting.... :rolleyes:

"Keeping everything in swimming lanes and taking a helicopter view of the situation"

"I'd like to stir-fry some ideas in your mind-wok"

"Our philosophy is a quantum leap over the customer oriented parameters under which most other big box forums operate, therefore enhancing stockholder value and poster numerology while radically reducing worker and/or moderators angst, synchronizingly marginalyzing our sector rivals to a point where they are almost nil as a potentially competitive market factor, therefore dominating, in a total way, all the marbles. Our loyal customers and our happy voluntary employees are a cohesive force, working to give the best golden parachutes to all of our most worthy lords and ladies of our upper administrative sphere and hence, many of our aspirant upper management team are more than willing to be gently coerced to spend much extra time and effort, gratis, in order to achieve that level of transcendence of the magical bottom line. While we are continually setting our benefits package and 'bashes' to a standard of living on par with the of the world, our loyal posters all continually eschew the "rules of forum war" in a most Enron/Ken Lay-like way; all while discussing what really amounts to endless tons of cheap plastic crap and air headed willy waving posts to our target market: kiddies or pilots, aged 2 to 75; as psychological testing has shown this age sector to be the most vulnerable to "feeding the need" and thereby enhancing shareholder and poster number value." So that's PPRuNe sold then? :O

DBisDogOne
16th Dec 2007, 13:18
S'land: You're right, I did miss that vital bit out, sorry, I should also have included the fact that applying CofE to your company/organisation automatically means you are the best at what you do regardless of any other factors (minor stuff like, training, competence, etc.), without the need to invest or improve anything. Great huh?

LamNav: Sure, be my guest, but be prepared for your workmates to throw rocks at you!!!!


I suspect someone's already posted it but one that really makes me physically cringe is the two words 'Touch base'. I don't know why, it just does.

Oh, and has anyone mentioned "Paradigm shift"/"Shifting the paradigm"?

goudie
16th Dec 2007, 14:32
Oh, and has anyone mentioned "Paradigm shift"/"Shifting the paradigm"?

Used to hear it day in day out, never understood it and I suspect the perpetrators didn't either.