View Full Version : No Smile in return

11th Dec 2007, 18:25
Your eyes cross paths and you just smile. I thought It was a respect thing, but some girls dont smile back now this makes me just not want to smile or even look up from the pavement ever again sometimes. Surely if a girl is looking at you then they should be prepared to smile instead of just looking at you as if you shouldn't be on the same pavement walking in the opposite direction:confused: Or is this just english nature? Because I've met a lot more polite people in poland/paris and USA

tony draper
11th Dec 2007, 18:36
Depends what part of the country you are in, oop North you would probably have got a smile back, if it's London one is not supprised, London is no longer regarded as part of the UK by the rest of the country and it's peopled by miserable scrotes

west lakes
11th Dec 2007, 18:42
I'll second Mr D's thoughts.
here you will get a smile or an nod, the blokes will often say good morning etc.

11th Dec 2007, 18:47
It was in Macc but having said that she was on the london train as was me :p, I just want there to be a simple answer like they didnt think you were going to look and they couldnt manage a smile in that time, but still if their staring you in the eye well you know it just confuses me,

tony draper
11th Dec 2007, 18:49
Err your zip wasn't open was it?:rolleyes:

11th Dec 2007, 19:31
I think it's a town and country thing. I've noticed here that in the country/villages/ here that just about everybody says "guten Tag" as they pass by. In the towns, especially the larger ones, nobody speaks.

Nice to see that the North still has good manners (speaking as a Northener).

11th Dec 2007, 20:12
It's no big thing, we'd best get used to it! Sad, but there we are. It's just the total lack of respect that the majority of the youngsters of thirty or under have for other people, their property, or their possessions these days.

When some scroat will stab you for your fags, or because you complained about the noise they are making, or perhaps because you did actually make eye contact with them (as in my days of the gangs of teddy boys...."are you looking at me... youth...") then these things are pretty normal now.

It's called evolution, or the lack of social skills!


11th Dec 2007, 20:18
Perhaps the girl felt intimidated by the smile and is unsure of whether there is an ulterior motive i.e. if she smiles back, would you see that as encouragement to talk to her? When perhaps she doesn't want you to talk to her? Perhaps her imagination is wilder than that and felt quite threatened. Gee, I've met some nutters on buses/trains and can understand not wanting to smile back at some of them. You might not think you're a nutter but you could have been the Mad-Axe man of Macclesfield!



11th Dec 2007, 20:39
Hmm yeah, and people on here that roll eyes offcourse my zip wasnt open, i do zip up especcially when it's 0c outside. Thanks guys I'm revived now :) oh whirls, it was at a station with hundreds of people and i was smaller than her:)

11th Dec 2007, 21:37
Why should she smile back? It was your choice to smile, which doesn't mean she should feel beholden to respond. Perhaps she thought you were a weirdo, or her mind was elsewhere, or someone close to her had just died, or she felt you were invading her personal space, or .... any number of perfectly good reasons for not smiling, methinks, none of which make her rude for not smiling.

11th Dec 2007, 21:48
Are you ugly?

11th Dec 2007, 21:50
Maybe she had Bell's Palsey :=

Lamenting Navigator
11th Dec 2007, 22:00
I make a point of smiling at someone I like the look of. I love getting a smile back! So, Steve, we've not met, have we??!!

11th Dec 2007, 22:46
It helps if you don't dribble when you smile.

kiwi chick
11th Dec 2007, 22:53
I agree with LaNav - I love getting smiled at, and I always smile back - even if he's a dog!

I also always walk with my head up looking people in the eye, and shock horror have even been known to smile FIRST! ;)

11th Dec 2007, 23:00
Gee, I've met some nutters on buses/trains

and in helicopters..... :}

Howard Hughes
11th Dec 2007, 23:01
If you smile at someone and they don't smile back, that is their loss, not yours!

Keep smiling!:E

11th Dec 2007, 23:05
An analysis of smiling is quite interesting.

We smile, apparently, because we want to show ourselves to potential friends/enemies as being vulnerable, as a show of passiveness, and therefore friendliness

Hello, (smile:)), here are one the weakest points in my head (brittle teeth), feel free to smash them in-I'm must be being friendly cos I've shown you at my weakest.

A true smile, reflects an expectation of a smile back, a smile through gritted teeth is an expectation of a smash in the teeth, the gritted lips are there to soften the impact.

It probably works a little differently in Macc, a smile is probably some form of attracting sheep and/or ugly women.

11th Dec 2007, 23:18
"here are one the weakest points in my head (brittle teeth), "

Are you sure about that? The weakest point in my head is behind and above my teeth, takes up more space and is a lot less brittle.....:p

Lamenting Navigator
11th Dec 2007, 23:18
Oh gingernut, lighten up!

kiwi chick
11th Dec 2007, 23:32
He lightened up at the end.... and deserves a slap ;)

It probably works a little differently in Macc, a smile is probably some form of attracting sheep and/or ugly women.

Or a big smile :) :) :) :)

Noah Zark.
11th Dec 2007, 23:48
It's a little bit further down the road to becoming a totally miserable isolated brash society. In my youth it was common to be able to smile at a girl, or even strike up a light-hearted conversation with her, without being thought of as a prospective sex pervert, or somesuch.
In a similar vein, as a youth, I frequently approached women to offer to help carry their heavy shopping up the steep hills in the local area.(Free of charge, I hasten to add!)
I was never thought of as a prospective mugger or robber.
My peers and myself, although only of peasant stock, were brought up with manners and respect for other people and their belongings.
To open doors for a lady, or to walk on the outside of a pavement when walking with or passing a lady, or to stand up when a lady first entered a room, were all common practice. It all engendered a far more pleasant and genteel society, and the world is a sadder place for its demise.
Back to STEVEHUDD's post. It always put a spring in a chaps step if he received a smile from a lady. It did mine anyway (and still does!) but then I think I'm becoming a dinosaur.
Shame, innit?

11th Dec 2007, 23:50
Smiling's ok out on the shore walking dogs meeting a stranger..
'Hello, cold isn't it (smile, optional fake shiver).'
'Yes, it is (smile).'
Walk on that's it. Polite.
Doesn't happen in the city at all.

I don't think you can smile at strangers on a train, too close, and you can't run away. But you can sort of smile in a lift.
'Hi, 4th? (raised eyebrow small smile).'
Yes, thanks, (nod).'


11th Dec 2007, 23:51
Its not a boy-girl thing.

Its fundamentally a city / village thing. People who live in the metropolis are socially insecure these days.

People who live in villages still talk to each other, and even say hello to strangers...

we're so trusting, maybe too much so...

11th Dec 2007, 23:53
I'm afraid this is me lightning up:)

I've made a lifetime study of nvc. (Non verbal communication).

I find the nvc of love and passion the most fascinating though.

Dilated pupils, facial flushing, flared nostrils, rapid breathing, postural echo etc etc....no wonder I find the ginge so gorgeous when she's angry-it reminds me of when we fell in love:):)

Now what's so heavy 'bout that?

12th Dec 2007, 00:09
GN, dont do all that heavy breathing stuff. Its making my brow moist...
In some time-zones this forum is still before the watershed....

12th Dec 2007, 00:31
It's not just a village thing but also to do with how secure one feels as a person. Younger women tend to be more shy and nervous; as we get older and gain confidence and self-assurance, we either don't care or are desperate! :}



I've met a few nutters in helicopters as well but I did smile at them. Seemed to pacify them. :p

12th Dec 2007, 03:00
It probably works a little differently in Macc, a smile is probably some form of attracting sheep and/or ugly women.Yer, 'tworks for me.

When she doesn't return your smile, it isn't necessarily a rejection. She may simply want you to try harder.

Next time it happens, try winking. If that doesn't produce a reaction, blow her a kiss. Finally, if she's playing really hard to get, place your left hand palm down on the inside of your right elbow, clench the right fist and raise the right forearm to the vertical position while growling a throaty "Yerrrgh!" through pursed lips. If that doesn't grab her attention, it probably means she's gay so you're wasting your time.

12th Dec 2007, 05:44
In villages, cults, military units, etc, speaking up or otherwise saluting others is a bonding and identification process. In these cultures, it is to each person's advantage to recognise the other members of the unit and to be recognised by them.

In populous cities and the great world at large, no such recognition benefit exists. In fact, strangers will accost persons with words and otherwise in order to distract them and then prey upon them, in one way or another. The best defense for the traveler is to be wary and to avoid acknowledging such attempts.

Only exception to the latter case is the search for social contact by those who are so inclined, due to urges and desperations beyond simple larceny. This category is sometimes called "the itch".

12th Dec 2007, 05:52
Then again, Foss, there was the fellow who squeezed in last to the packed elevator car, so packed he could not turn back round to face out. Thus constrained, he addressed the herd: "I expect you all wonder why I have called you to this meeting in this small and crowded room .....".

Couldn't happen in England, of course.

Knew one chap (and he actually was English) who was riding a train in Western Canada. Fellow facing him had a broken arm in a cast. Silence reigned. An hour or so into the trip, arm-in-cast leaned forward and said: "You're English, Huh?". My friend confessed he was guilty as charged. "Knew it! You're the first guy who hasn't asked what happened to my arm".

Lamenting Navigator
12th Dec 2007, 07:56
Davaar, it wouldn't happen in England because we would all squeeze into a lift...

OK, GN, got your point. I'm just about to squeeze into the tube to work so I'll bear your posting in mind - I hope you're right!

Ace Rimmer
12th Dec 2007, 08:34
Two things
I have found that when I smile at a pretty girl as I've gotten older, rounder and balder fewer of them smile back....

That said, I was on a trip week before last and in the lift heading for the hotel lobby lift stops and in walks a girl not uber babealisious but very easy on the eye, she was clearly togged up for a party (I'd noticed there were a number of wedding reception type things going on in the hotel) anyhow as we parted I said "by the way you look great" and was rewarded with a million watt smile.

Nice...(in Jazz club voice)

12th Dec 2007, 09:02
Speaking as someone who can suffer with low esteem at times, if a guy smiles at me I tend to think he's probably smiling at someone BEHIND me. Having said that, I love the butterflies you get when a stranger smiles at you and I go weak at the knees if I get winked at by a tasty guy :O

I can concur though that despite maybe being in a sizeable crowd, there are times when as a lady you DO feel vunerable if you notice a guy looking at you or smiling at you or if he tries to engage you in converstion.

As for the North / South divide, it DOES exist. I live in Liverpool and here you get chatting to people in queues, or in shops or almost everywhere. Down in Bedfordshire where I used to live, if you so much as ask someone the time, they look at you like you're going to mug them. Or, more liekely these days, they don't speak English.

12th Dec 2007, 09:56
It's a london thing.

I commute from deepest darkest Surrey. If I'm out on a Saturday walking into town (especially with Cherokee Jr in his buggy) it can take me 20 mins for a 5 min walk becuase people / nieghbours / elders stop to chat and ask how Cherokee Jr is doing.

When we go into London a small child in a buggy is completely ignored (even when he waves and smiles at people) and if I'm honest some people get quite p1ssy that you dare use up valuable pavement space by having a buggy in the first place.:ugh:

Si I'm very much of the school that Londoners are a breed into themselves. Amazing wat a difference a 30min train ride makes!

btw - I met my future wife on a train home one evening 10 years ago ;-) Thank god she's a Hampshire girl else I'd have never pulled.....:hmm:

12th Dec 2007, 10:50
"I expect you all wonder why I have called you to this meeting in this small and crowded room .....".

I'll have to remember that one, while I'm trying not to touch anyone physically in any way, in a packed lift.

There can be a downside to the local life. You go into the local shop for local people, rut roh, ahead in the queue a local (like me) is talking to the shop owner.
'And do you know what Bertie said, aye bertie from the lifeboat/ farm/ the bar, well he said such an such and such, and I said I know, you daft git, ye can't tell 'im. Well, Edith said that that was quite right, could I have some some midget gems as well please, and I may as well pay my paper bill while I'm here. Hang on. Where's me bluddy wallet...'
:{:{:{ Puleeeeeease just buy the paper and **** off please please please
And every sinner knows exactly what you're doing. And what you've done.:O

12th Dec 2007, 10:59
Having crammed into a crowded lift, don't you find that, inevitably, someone breaks wind.........

12th Dec 2007, 11:03
Smile? A smile would be nice. Normally they just burst out laughing.... :\

12th Dec 2007, 14:05
Kiwi chick

Your a flirt x :)

12th Dec 2007, 17:49
I've just returned from a week in Florida, this time at Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. It's a small place, eight blocks along the ocean and about five blocks back to the Intercoastal Waterway with no tall buildings. I was struck by the fact that the majority of people you meet on the street speak to you. Fort Lauderdale is quite the opposite, people seldom speak - but a lot of them are from Nu Yawk. In Hollywood, next place south of Ft Lauderdale, some people will speak to one on the street / broadwalk*. But then again a large percentage are Quebecois and may not feel comfortable speaking English.

*Yes, broadwalk. Mr Young, who developed the resort about 85 years ago, called the 1.5 mile long paved walk beside the beach by that name. It was never made of boards.

12th Dec 2007, 18:19
I have found that when I smile at a pretty girl as I've gotten older, rounder and balder fewer of them smile back....

Funny, I've found the opposite, most of them smile back. The problem is that if you look at their eyes you can see that they are only smiling out of compassion for an aging, balding fat man :\.

12th Dec 2007, 19:07
My experience is much like that of S'land; very pleasant really.

Slightly different was a recent experience. As I was entering the kraal where the local ("Our home and native land", what an irony!) shoppers go to chaffer, I espied an ancient relic approach the door from the other side. Shuffle! Shuffle! Shuffle!, with heavy reliance on the walking stick, gaze fixed on the ground lest he step into a ravine, perhaps. I held the door open and did a lateral arabesque, the better to allow him ease of exit.

The GOM made it safely through, and then he stopped dead. He braced the walking stick and himself and raised his eyes. Head too, actually. He addressed me: "Thank you, young fella. Not often we meet a young man with manners these days!"

When I tell you I often draw amusement from the boyish pranks of young draper, there, you will get some feel for what that meant to me.

kiwi chick
12th Dec 2007, 20:47
Whirls said as we get older and gain confidence and self-assurance, we either don't care or are desperate!

Never a truer word spoken. 15 years ago I wouldn't dream of smiling at someone in the street. Now I always smile at bald, rounded, ageing men - I need to build a nest egg for ten year's time ;)

EGCC4284 over here it's called "single".... :ok: :E

tony draper
12th Dec 2007, 21:05
Dog walkers are always friendly,their charges sniffing at each others nether regions tends to break the ice.

12th Dec 2007, 22:06
With comments like that from KC, I gotta pay another visit to the Land of the Long White Cloud :).

S'land a bald, rounded, ageing man:ugh:

Howard Hughes
12th Dec 2007, 22:09
One of lifes big mysteries...

"there is nothing more attractive to a woman, than an attached man"!

Hang on aminute, yes there is, a man with a baby!:ooh:

Why is that?:hmm:

tony draper
12th Dec 2007, 22:12
Wasn't there a tribe discovered up the Amazon where young men were only allowed to err,date the older women, and young girls only allowed to walk out with the older chaps.

Lamenting Navigator
12th Dec 2007, 22:39
No Drapes, that's just what you dream about ;)

Windy Militant
12th Dec 2007, 22:57
Dog walkers are always friendly

When I'm home visiting my dear old Mum I take her sheep seeker out for her daily walk. It really lets you know your place in the scheme of things when people say hello to the dog and just look sideways at the numpty at the other end of the lead. :(

13th Dec 2007, 02:10
Dog walkers are always friendly Especially when they have a couple of Chihuahuas poking out their pockets. ;)

A tip. Never try to pat a Chihuahua's head that's poking out of a chap's pocket. They may be small and cute, but they'll defend their master to the death.

Is that a Chihuahua in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

kiwi chick
13th Dec 2007, 03:49

Tell me you are NOT using your newborn son to cruise for Chicks!

(You've been a naughty boy - go to my room!)

Actually, it's because we think:

hmmmmm... he's sweet because he wants kids and just LOOK how he's holding that baby. And he's horny cos his wife won't be putting out.

disclaimer: before I get banned, I WAS ONLY JOKING!!!

13th Dec 2007, 03:59
Hey Kiwi.........................................


kiwi chick
13th Dec 2007, 04:02
:) Right back at you!! :)

Howard Hughes
13th Dec 2007, 07:20
And he's horny cos his wife won't be putting out.
Says who?;)

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Dec 2007, 11:10
Smile? As Ginge has mentioned, it's merely your inner chimp making with the fear grin to avoid getting a knee in the squishy bits and a banana in the ear.

13th Dec 2007, 13:09
cos his wife won't be putting out

My wife wont even put the rubbish bin out for collection

tony draper
13th Dec 2007, 13:24
My problem is I have a face like all those identikit pictures,peeps stare at me unsmiling because they think they have seen me on crimewatch the night before,were it not for, because I iz white, one's collar would constantly be being felt.

13th Dec 2007, 13:28
Your eyes cross

There's yer problem right there Steve.

As for talking to people on trains when one has not been introduced, its bad form unless the train has actually crashed (not just de-railed).

13th Dec 2007, 13:28
Drapes, I think you mean that you are of "European Ethnicity", if one is to be PC....

13th Dec 2007, 13:38
Bloody Hell! Drapes and PC in the same sentence?:uhoh:

13th Dec 2007, 14:06
KiwiChick let me go one worse. Many years ago when my youngest son was 3, I had taken him to the doctor for some minor thing, came out of the surgery and found the car clamped, my fault. No alternative but to go miles to the unclamping fuhrer, paid and was told the clamping man couldn’t come to my car for at least two hours. It was a freezing day two hours would have been very uncomfortable for my son so one well placed surreptitious and reasonably gentle pinch produced a genuine wail and tears. Have to say it worked a treat and we were unclamped in double quick order. Youngest son, now 25 is still unamused but it worked!

13th Dec 2007, 17:54
It is horribly true.
Take a mate's kid for a walk in his kewl Landrover 3 wheeler.
Stop for junior to have a walk, and there are straps everywhere. A 3 point thingy to hold him into the fecking pram (ha) a four pointer rein thing to hold him once he's released.
Back of the buggy 300lb of bread (ducks use of), raisins (child for the hiding of) nappies, spare top, milk, juice, wipes, bibs, dummy, spare dummy.. and just as you are about to say..
Then a girl comes up, 'awwww isn't he sweet.'
'Yes, he is, what's your name.'

13th Dec 2007, 20:10
All this reminds me of driving my Jeep, especially the town vs country stuff.

I drive a Wrangler. I was very pleasantly surprised to discover shortly after acquiring it that this vehicle attracts an acknowledgement/small wave from other Wrangler drivers. Which is nice, as one drives about.

However, I also notice that male drivers wave whilst females do not. I've never knowingly had any female waves (obviously, one is driving and does not always have a spare eyeball to point at oncoming Jeeps). And waves are far more forthcoming on country roads than on town roads. OK, town is busier and more demanding of one's attention, however even on the very outskirts, waves are rarer.

Is it something in the human psyche that says the more humans there are around, the less I must notice them?

13th Dec 2007, 21:14
I've had female drivers wave at me plenty of times.

Sometimes one, sometimes two fingers.

13th Dec 2007, 21:33
Frosty- how can you see their hands through that tiny frost free part of the widscreen?!


Foxy Loxy
13th Dec 2007, 21:39
In this part of Essex, the blingy rings give the game away....


kiwi chick
13th Dec 2007, 23:54
Gannet Fan

Oh, I had to laugh! The same thing happened to me, I got clamped at the airport.

Sob story went something like this:

"Hello, Mr Parking Man? Um, [waterworks on] my car has just been clamped. I think I may have been a bit longer than I was allowed but I couldn't help it. My baby [thrust newborn out for him to see] needed to be fed and she couldn't wait until we got home - we live all the way over in Blahblah town."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but did you really need two hours to feed her?"

"Sob! [waterworks on double] Yes, I'm having trouble breastfeeding and I needed to find somewhere private in the airport to do so. [parking man blushing - story working so far]. Then, once I finally managed to feed her, she got terrible wind, so I had to burp her for about half an hour. Then of course she needed her nappy changed, and do you know how hard that is to do when there is no Parent's Room?[waterworks back down to single strength]. Gosh, it's so hard being a new Mum, and now I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for this. $40 is a lot of money when we've just gone down to one income. Sob"

"Errrr.... well, let me see. Do you bake"

[Ready to hit him with newborn, but realises there may be a way out here...]

"Why yes, I happen to make a fantastic carrot cake. And I must say you look like a man who enjoys sweets every now and then!"

[panic sets in as she realises she just pointed out Mr Parking Man's obesity problem]

"I mean, you seem jovial and happy, not at all like a typical Mr Parking Man"

[more panic as she realises she called all Parking Men grumpy]

"Well, maybe we can sort out some sort of arrangment, Miss...? Mrs...?"

[more panic sets in as she realises she may be about to remove her clothes at Wellington International Airport]

"Well, lets see... how about you whip up a treat for me and the boys for afternoon tea? Then we might just be able to remove this wheel clamp from your car and let you be on your way"

[panic is in overtime as she realises this may be about to become one of those movies she's heard about]

"So, you promise me that you'll bake us a carrot cake, and I'll even come and pick it up from your house in Blahblah on my way to work tomorrow, and we'll let you off this time"

[Mr Parking Man blushes and thinks this is about to become one of those movies he's heard about as she throws herself at him in gratitude]

And for the record.... it was a damn fine $40 carrot cake!!