View Full Version : For men only.

24th Nov 2007, 14:16
This aperçu is for men only, forbidden to women. Thus alerted, the gentle sex will immediately cease to read. Of that I am confident. Were it not so, I should lay down the pen forthwith.

Well now, Gentlemen, to our consideration. The end of the play, Hamlet tells us, is to hold the mirror up to nature, and we may venture to extend the play to include the novel.

So predisposed, we chance on Mr Trollope’s excellent “Struggles of Brown, Jones, and Robinson”, where at page 106 we find:

“Why is it that commercial honesty has so seldom charms for women? A woman who would give away the last shawl from her back will insist on smuggling her gloves through the Custom-house!”

and so on.

“By jingo!”, and less would scarcely suffice, you say with me on reading this, “How very close to our own observation!”.

Take a Madonna’s purity and Pavlova’s poise, blend them with the fire of the tigress; and to the resultant woman entrust the charge of a child of six, say, or seven, if possible small for his or her age. Place that ensemble where transportation or like commercial benefit is available free for those aged five and under, and that woman will fight, and we may guarantee she will win the fight, to have that kid travel free.

The gain is trifling though practical, bought at the immense price in principle of honesty; but that correlation is hidden from woman. Suggest its existence and the response is at first incomprehension, moving to indulgent merriment: “Are you”, the woman will ask, forgetting gentility of expression, “Out of your tree, gourd, or [should she be Scottish] tumshie?”

We may, should we be foolish indeed, persist, and her mood will change from the mildly amused to the brusquely dismissive, so well captured by the Teutonic “Quatsch!”.

Dashed interesting, What?

24th Nov 2007, 14:19
I'll have a pint of whatever your'e drinking D !

24th Nov 2007, 14:22
and I suppose I'll have ... a half pint

24th Nov 2007, 14:32
Think I'll just sniff it.........(maybe!)

24th Nov 2007, 14:40
I would only touch it if the antidote was close by.

tony draper
24th Nov 2007, 14:51
Damm!! I was just about to say that Mr Davaar.:rolleyes:

24th Nov 2007, 15:49

tony draper
24th Nov 2007, 15:59
Strange that when it comes to acquisitive crime the female of the species is more inclined to shoplifting than burglary.
Murder also,they lean rather more toward poison than the blunt instrument.

Rather be Gardening
24th Nov 2007, 16:17
No, we'd rather a good stoning.....

http://arago4.tnw.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/life-of-brian/thumbnails/05-crowd.jpg (javascript:picture('05-crowd'))

Me and my friends.

24th Nov 2007, 16:21
"Pretentious? Moi?" :8

Lamenting Navigator
24th Nov 2007, 16:58
Telling the gentle sex (!) to stop reading any further just made me want to read further... oh, sorry... couldn't help meself...

24th Nov 2007, 17:34
Right, do it steps..
if this aperçu is for men, how women already know about it anyway, and their mum's told them to watch out for such 'aperçu '
gentle sex will immediately cease to read. Of that I am confident
Aye, like your bank balance (aside, google about the US lotto winner who didn't tell his wife, she's now sueing him) she didn't cease to read.
The Trollope stuff, that's as much Irish as it is Aussie...

have to give more thought later Davar, have to go out.

24th Nov 2007, 17:44
Dashed interesting, What?

Not yet, but there's promise........try another line, and then a rewrite?

24th Nov 2007, 23:37
ok back from dinner.
'What me gov, wasn't me gov'
.. oh sod it I give up.
It's only the the fool that believes he's won over the fool when the fool has won.
Teutonic “Quatsch!”. Don't get that at all.
I shouldn't have gone to that gorn darn school
Give up. give me a clue.

24th Nov 2007, 23:50
Suddenly, Danny's moaning about the cost of bandwidth is clarified...

25th Nov 2007, 00:38
This is such heavy going. Very well:

From my own observation:
1. Travel is free, let us say, to children aged five years or less.
2. A child is six years old but could pass for five.
3. The woman in charge knows the child is six.
4. She tells the transport official the child is five.
5. The child travels free, either without question by the official or on the insistence of the woman.
6. On hearing of this later the man in the family group observes, imprudently, that the free travel has been bought by a lie.
7. The woman says No it has not besides do not be foolish it is ridiculous to pay a fare for a child of six who is no bigger than a child of five.
8. Ridiculous or not, says the man, the price of the free travel was a lie.
9. The woman gets annoyed. That is nonsense ("Quatsch!"), says the woman.

I thought the German was from its appearance and sound expressive and self-explanatory. I was quoting; although, Yes, and I did not belabour that, I understood it very well when it was addressed to me, and my German is sketchy. But there we are, some need more explanation than others.

The example given by Trollope 150 years before my own observation lay, in the words I quoted, in the smuggling of gloves. His book gives other examples.

The topic is three-fold:
(a) The women involved are what we may justly call pillars of the community (Of course that is a metaphor. They are really people, not pillars. Are we all happy with this representative meaning?);
(b) Nevetheless these women lie in this when in other activities they are capable of self-sacrificial generosity (Trollope is explicit on this); and
(c) The monetary value of the prize is trifling.

This, says Trollope, and my observation confirms his, is a peculiarly feminine characteristic.

He does not say "always", let me not be vague on that, not "always". One does wonder, though, why it is commonly so.

I turn now to the literary critic bunter, my faithful reader despite his distaste for all I write. Let us agree, as I do totally, to get away from the pseudo, whatever he means by that, and get back to his own recurring theme of reality,The Challenges of Biscuit Distribution in 21st Century Britain.

His contributions on this have commanded my attention as much as my more general offerings do him, but with, from me, much more sympathy than he extends to me.

Really, though, it does not matter a dam. None of it. Not a tinker's tosser. It was just a thought, and how profoundly I regret the "apercu" that so troubles Wales. It was prompted by the casual reading of a paragraph in a novel. Nothing more profound.

No, I did not expect that my introductory caution would deter a solitary woman from reading. On the contrary I rather thought it would provoke some to do so and make some perhaps witty rejoinders.

What a hope.

25th Nov 2007, 01:35
The thing that really worries me Davaar, is that I understood you the first time. :uhoh:

25th Nov 2007, 01:38
Ignoring catcalls from the wings and cutting to the chase, Geheerter Herr Davaar, one might say what you describe is nothing more or less than the embodiment of the she-wolfe persona coming to the fore.

If an he-wolfe dares to similar, he is torn in shreds for lack of character.. and chastised down to below mud by the very same b**ch that does it herself without a second thinking. Most plausible reason for this inconsistency is her subscription to belief in her inherited, plumbed-in duty and right to protect anything small and human, no matter how errant or worthless it might be.
Protection from excessive transit fares is a subset of the larger issue, you surely can see.

The underlying sence of all this is difficult for the layman: "For continuity of the species", one might say. "Steady employment", sayeth others in sodden chorus. And the last would utter as he runs to escape the wrath surely to ensue such unbidden truth: "She does it because she can, and she can because she does."


Loose rivets
25th Nov 2007, 02:09
To quote the Rivetess

25th Nov 2007, 02:27
I think I'm gay.

Rwy in Sight
25th Nov 2007, 07:51

I am glad your text was not part of the Cambridge English Proficiency exam I took sometime ago. And if ICAO use it for their english language skills I feel a lot of pilots would fail it...

Nice one my friend.

Rwy in Sight

Farmer 1
25th Nov 2007, 09:42
Is this Sunday?

25th Nov 2007, 14:35
I only understood it pissed, which probably explains my answer.

25th Nov 2007, 17:09
Davaar, a thoroughly entertaining read as usual.
"Quatsch" is a deadly word indeed.
And as much as it pains me, I admit to being similarly afflicted. Our children passed for 6 years old at the ski resort until they were at least 9.
For shame, I now realise.

To the folks who diss the thread starter; what's with you guys?
You know his writing style, if you don't like it, don't click on a thread he starts. If you think he is a poseur, put him on your ignore list. If you disagree with his opinions, explain why.
This board is full of glib/coarse/badly written/stupid posts. Once in a while, Davaar and a few others post something that falls outside those parameters.
Which obviouslyannoyes the hell out of some people.
Why do you feel the need to post such derogatory comments?
And why don't you just crawl back under your stone?

25th Nov 2007, 17:55
Could it be subbed down as the division between legal, moral and ethical boundaries.
Ever read Sophie's World Davaar? But I admit, you're way ahead of me.

25th Nov 2007, 18:16
Now here you embarrass me: my daughter has it, but I have not read it. On it goes to the priority list.

Thanks to Juud for her post. To be equally honest, it is not that man, myself included, does not ever sin, but I do think more often has the grace to be, so to speak, real sneaky with it. After all, he knows he shouldn't. His mother, such is the irony, has dinned it into him from earliest days. The woman does not even know, despite the dinning. Why waste the money? Come to think of it, Adam was probably right to blame Eve over that unfortunate apple business. Perhaps I should enrol with the Benedictines and get away from all this temptation. Now where did I put my Rule of St Benedict?

I would analogise the feminine to the feline and the masculine to the canine. The cat will nip a piece of meat off a plate and you'd never know. If the dog does it he might as well tell you, so furrowed is the brow and so carefully retracted is the tail into its groove.

25th Nov 2007, 20:08
Juud, I think in your (possibly justified) diatribe you are overlooking the fact that Davaar is also known to possess a good sense of humour.

bugg smasher
25th Nov 2007, 22:09
Our next president, Davaar, may very well be a woman. Suddenly I am uneasy. Would she, without so much as a second thought, a dismissive wave of her presidential hand perhaps, pass laws mandating free ski passes and airline tickets to all children between the ages of six and nine, as long as they looked five or under? Would she? And more terrifyingly, would her companion’s tail remain carefully retracted into its groove, even as he sniffed eagerly at the passing plates?

So much to ponder here, this thread, methinks, takes the first tentative steps down the road to perdition…

26th Nov 2007, 01:39
Rule of St Benedict. Not so keen on that. One shall not be more cherished than another, unless it be the one whom he finds excelling in good works or in obedience. Er.. You're all the same under the eyes of God, apart from Bob there, he's pretty good on the old manuscripts, he's better.
But, cenobitic, there's a good word.
I just read the whole bloody lot from 530AD. "Let not any man presume or call anything his own." So no Playstation then, or free will.
Which then leads to predestination, do we have free will, or, are we being lead to believe that we have free will so we won't be alarmed that there's no point in saving for the future because that's all worked already anyway. Chaucer seemed to get a bit upset about that. Quill in the air, stomped off, 'Chaunticleer' harrumph, who cares, nobody's going to read it anyway.'

26th Nov 2007, 01:40
In the sixties and seventies, the Changi Bus Company ran a fleet of old rattlers from Changi Village to Singapore City. Perhaps they still do. There was a line painted on the front bulkhead and anyone taller than the line was full fare and anyone shorter was half fare. Those carried aboard in a mother's arms were free, though they were not entitled to a seat and must sit on the mother's knee.

Fare enough! ;)

I watched a short woman (the politically incorrect would say a dwarf) board the bus one day. She carried in her arms a rather large male, but nevertheless managed to board the bus, pay her fare and take her seat. The pair travelled to town on one half fare, no rules being broken - the little fellow dutifully sat on his wife's knee all the way to the Cathay Cinema. :}

26th Nov 2007, 02:06
In a former life I flew bushplanes. The company I worked for had a policy that babes in arms could ride for free, and kids to age 12 could ride for half price. I once had a lady vociferously attempt to obtain a half price ticket for her son, who, she said, was under 12. I might have overlooked the kid's five o'clock shadow that was darker than mine, but not the dribble of tobacco juice from the right corner of his mouth. :uhoh:

tony draper
26th Nov 2007, 08:21
I seem to be the only one who when boarding a bus delves into pocket and offers the driver actual coin of the realm,every body else seems to flash a bit of plastic,**** bits of plastic, I refuse bits of plastic,I have it on good authority the Styx boatman does not take plastic.

Solid Rust Twotter
26th Nov 2007, 08:34
Neither does Charon take cheques. Must be a Geordie with SWH by name Cerberus in tow....:E

26th Nov 2007, 16:00
One must allow, Foss, much in what you say. Economy of opportunity to sin was among the benefits of the Presbyterian (Free Church continuing despite the regrettable 1929 Union with the C of S -- not far from Popery) tradition.

The slightest sip of Alcohol would naturally bring the instant thunderbolt from the Almighty, but short of that the index had much to offer even the minor sinner. A wee shading (What is six months over five?) of the wean’s age, for example, in the face of the London Midland and Scottish would burden the conscience for a decade, leaving the Guilty shifty-eyed in contemplation of each pending Communion. What would Candlish have said, not to mention John Knox? Had the Lord noticed? Be sure He had. The Guilt was there, implacable, menacing, and permanent. One’s garments were not spotless, were not white as the snow. There was no easy way out, as purveyed to the Micks, with their easy-oasy Confession and Penance. How much innocent pleasure the Atheists miss in life.

My few days at the Benedictine monastery, however, revealed that we Presbies were rank amateurs in the league of those stern moralists. Those who have not sat at the feet, no mere metaphor I assure you, of the Abbot of a Benedictine monastery do not begin to appreciate the word “Boss”. Our very own theological commentator "beady eye" here has no notion of the unblinking eagle glare that pierces to the very souls of the sinners (Yes! Yes! Of course they may number the Son of Man, but they really do have to prove that, don’t they?) down there at the guest table, their eyes in avoidance glued to the plate.

My days there, fewer than I had planned you may believe, were thus devoted to the study, in French, Yes, for that was all the menu provided, maybe Latin was there but no one mentioned it, of the Règle du St Benoit, and it does indeed make all the provision on which, my dear Foss, you touch. It does, but there is more.

Not only must you give up all you have, all that you may acquire, all worldly pleasures past, present and future, to the Greater Glory, and all that I could manage; but in addition you must be HAPPY about it! There, I thought, was an economy of sin that would too readily test my limits.

As to cenobitic, I suspect some few who read your words and mine will not even know the word! Seems scarcely possible, doesn’t it. Or stay! Am I guilty of the Sin of the Pseud?

26th Nov 2007, 17:53
Women can find sparkling rainbows in the midst of infinite shades of grey. Men ... black and white will suffice. They are aware of huge differences in smaller details.

Blind mice for Catwomen.

26th Nov 2007, 19:04
I'm glad to be even close. Quite a bit of furrowed brow involved in that post.

Lamenting Navigator
26th Nov 2007, 19:10
Ooh, Davaar and Foss - lighten up lads!

26th Nov 2007, 19:27
;) Lamenting, allow me to recommend this for your Christmas stocking:


26th Nov 2007, 19:44
Too bad, Foss.

Let us reduce the theology to an early "Merry Christmas" (although, mind you, some might think there is a certain pagan ............ Nah! Let it go.)

tony draper
26th Nov 2007, 19:46
Yer that Shakespeare chap could have saved all that circumbendibus obscurification "Once more into the breach" nonsense with just "Get back in that hole yer feckers"

26th Nov 2007, 19:52
Juud, that's cruel and unfair, no one should read that if they don't know they're getting into. Yer head could explode.
Lamenting, it's just discussing Bhudda thee love, sort of, but if anyone starts on eremitics, they're on their own.

26th Nov 2007, 20:20
Anyway, I still have a few hundred pages of The Brothers Karamazov to go, so it's back to that. I have four copies. I lost the other three on the way, but I keep finding them, never at the same time. I have to start again wherever I marked off my last pause in the one just found. When I get to the end we can all have a jolly discussion about sin. I did like the Regle du St Benoit, but I see it has limited appeal. Not enough sinners around these days, probably.

[Ooops! Spelling!]

Lamenting Navigator
26th Nov 2007, 20:50
Oh cripes it's getting worse... I'll return to Jean Baudrillard for my lack of reality check, thanks.

26th Nov 2007, 21:18
No Lament, hang on, The Brothers Karamzov is a tough cookie about free will, reason, all that, I've never finished it. But wait, don't go, it was mentioned in Lost. A bloke gives Anna (?) a map written on a the back of the front page of The Brothers Karamzov . Self determination, reason - and a map to find your way, geddit. ;) popular culture. Except I read about that in a paper because I didn't watch lost.

26th Nov 2007, 21:52
Karamazov? Oh Davaar, do keep up. I'm half way through reading Bleak House to Mrs C, how I wish for a return to the direct narrative of Dostoyevsky. Dickens can be such a bore.

I do thank you for drawing attention to this diabolical feminine practice. I feel in some way reassured, if not absolved for the sins of my household.

tony draper
26th Nov 2007, 22:11
Think I'll wait until it comes ont Telly.:rolleyes:

27th Nov 2007, 01:03
Yer head could explode.My head once exploded during a theological discussion. In my philosophical manner, but aged only 14 and still polishing my skills, I opined that if Jesus died for our sins then, by deduction we were all forgiven already as long as we confessed. This was during CofE confirmation classes and my friends at the time were all Papists (Christine A....'s attractions being irresistable. Mary B....'s even more so, but she was taken. ) and some of their more attractive beliefs rubbed off on me. The vicar was unimpressed and reinforced his utter rejection of my hypothesis by clattering me hard round the head, knocking me off my stool.

When he later repeated the treatment after I raised the implausability of the Trinity he succeeded in converting me into a non-practicing believer. :suspect:

Not enough sinners around these days, probably.
It isn't so much a scarcity of sinners. More likely, the reduction in the number of believers is making sinners appear scarcer. The two are complementary.

27th Nov 2007, 01:20
It isn't so much a scarcity of sinners. More likely, the reduction in the number of believers is making sinners appear scarcer. The two are complementary.

Very well put, Blacksheep!

Lamenting Navigator
28th Nov 2007, 23:16
Doesn't being a sinner mean you have to have some form of belief to sin against? It's like Satanists - they have to believe in the whole Christianity thing so they can be anti...

So how can I sin against something I don't believe in? Or do I have no moral standing (whose morals are they, anyway?)?

28th Nov 2007, 23:46
I am beginning to wonder about you, Lamenting. The one day you are flirting with 20th century French rubbish, for Goodness' sake it will be Sartre next, and then you are back on to the good stuff like sin. Approbate and reprobate, we call that in the law, or in Scotland sook and blaw, and those guilty are, ummm, allumeuses or again, ummm teasers. My original proposition, which apparently Trollope and I put too subtly for some, is that if there is a dime to be saved, women have no sense of morality. I was going to leave you all to simmer in this, and maybe I shall. Or maybe not.

29th Nov 2007, 00:39
My original proposition, which apparently Trollope and I put too subtly for some,

It sounds good, Davaar, reads fine. Never bother with empty doubt that few may follow. Lead on! Whither? Thither!

29th Nov 2007, 01:42
Trollope and I put too subtly for some, is that if there is a dime to be saved, women have no sense of morality.True Davaar but in the case of the Singaporean dwarves, was not the husband an accomplice of his wife?

Saving money might be considered as common sense by many folks, though it is often cited as "canny" - a chiefly Scottish characteristic that doesn't discriminate betwixt the sexes. ;)

29th Nov 2007, 09:32
Two points, Black:
1. Yes. All do sin. The difference is that men know it is a sin and do it anyway; but when there is a dime at stake women do not recognise or, it seems, realise ("Don't be ridiculous!") that the fraud is indeed a sin.
2. Disagree. The Scottish tradition is of frugality coupled to great honesty. Examples at random:
(a) in the 18th century British army degrading physical punishment was the norm in principle; the punishmnent and crime were common in fact in English regiments but almost unknown in Highland regiments. The indignity and shame of physical punishment were unacceptable to Highland gentlemen (i.e., private soldiers); and
(b) In "Seventy Years a Showman" by Lord George Sanger read of the travelling shows and fairs of the early 19th century, and the case of the "Scottish giant", as I recall, who was found in his caravan, dead of hunger because his "show" was doing badly and pride forbade him to ask (= beg) his neighbours for food.

29th Nov 2007, 10:03
1. Point conceded.
2. You never met Willy McGee. He of the short arms and deep pockets. He of the crafty sip. "Oh is that yours? Verra Sorry Jum." Still I concede that he is only one. I have met generous, honest and frugal Scotsmen. There was, er whatsisname and oh yes, him with the red nose, whodja call it... :oh:

29th Nov 2007, 10:44
"..........if there is a dime to be saved, women have no sense of morality"

I would suggest that no-one considers that they behave with anything but morality. Their own morality. So whose morality are we talking about here?
It could be argued that women are the custodians of true morality.

Women and left-handers have been unfairly discriminated against for too long. At least 2000 years too long. (It had to happen ;) )

29th Nov 2007, 11:35
I read recently something along the lines that, "It's not that women deliberately lie. But their truth is according to how they experienced an event emotionally not the factual proceedings which you (as a man) remember."

I can't get my children to lie anyway. They'd never go along with hearing you say they are 5 when they are actually 6.

Lamenting Navigator
29th Nov 2007, 19:32
Miserlou. Now I think I'm strange! Remembering things by emotion and not facts? I don't know who you've quoted, but are you honestly telling me after a heavy drinking session and possible one night stand that a bloke wakes up the following morning in a alcoholic haze and remembers the facts of the event?

I've heard some rubbish in my time but crikey that takes the digestive...

(Writing as female and ambidextrous)

29th Nov 2007, 20:54
That is most certainly not what I am saying, LN.

I was talking about run of the mill, everyday situations in a male/female relationship. In fact, I remember now, it was David Deida and the quote was a chapter heading.

Lamenting Navigator
29th Nov 2007, 21:08
Miserlou, fair enough, but even in every day situations I'm not sure how true that actually is. Or maybe I'm one of the rare females that thinks in facts rather than emotions....

29th Nov 2007, 22:11
Or maybe I'm one of the rare females that thinks in facts rather than emotions....

One knows a certain female who is smart, educated, hardworking, and industrious. On merit she has gotten to be in charge of managing, charting course and fronting for a platoon of senior professionals, plus sundry support staff and many external connections to a complex world. She is well grounded, logical, honest to a fault, and steeped in rationality.

Given a day off, she transforms into a rainbow-catching hippie-let. All mysticism and estrogen-driven vibrational energies. Crazy as a loon from the male POV, and neither linear nor rooted in cause-effect nor much affected by logic.

Day later, back in role, she is a straight-arrow once more. Cycle happens over and over.. works for her.

29th Nov 2007, 22:30
I agree, it does sound chauvinistic (Chauvin was a very loyal general under Napoleon) but the thread is entitled 'For Men Only' and the matter isn't as simple as the statement would suggest.
Psychologists use a scale with femininity at one end and masculinity at the other which involves the 'traditional' gender traits but, I hasten to point out, either gender can be placed anywhere along it. It is, in any case, a matter of brain chemistry.

29th Nov 2007, 22:37
Psychologists use a scale with femininity at one end and masculinity at the other which involves the 'traditional' gender traits but, I hasten to point out, either gender can be placed anywhere along it. It is, in any case, a matter of brain chemistry.

Plus a few highly specialised 'nads here and there, and the learning curve that goes along with knowing how to use 'em.

kiwi chick
29th Nov 2007, 22:52
Well, I should have paid more attention to the title, and for once in my life done what I was told.

I fear I do not deserve my remaining ovary. I too think like Lamenting - in facts and not emotions - 97% of the time.

(sorry, got distracted then watching a beautiful butterfly float past backlit by the rays of the heavenly afternoon sun...)

Um, at risk of sounding like I don't own my IQ... what exactly is this about?

Woman will lie and steal if they believe it's for the greater good, but men won't?

tony draper
29th Nov 2007, 23:00
Tiz about being dishonest about being dishonest KC, err I think,you know,like taking stuff from work is not really stealing.
Unless one works in a bank of course.

29th Nov 2007, 23:03
How clearly you put it, Kiwi, and how well you obscure it. "The greater good", you say!!! Aha!

I'll say it yet again. Both men and women will steal, etc., etc., but the men will say, if they pause enough: "It is theft, but I shall do it anyway". You have so well captured the woman's version: "It is for the greater good [i.e., MY good], so don't be ridiculous, it is not theft. The question does not even arise".

29th Nov 2007, 23:56
Woman will lie and steal if they believe it's for the greater good, but men won't?

No, when men do it, it's called upright names like "Policy & Rules", "Politics", "Business", "Law" and 'War".

kiwi chick
30th Nov 2007, 00:08
:D :D :D :D


I have a confession to make.

When I was 18, I worked briefly in a supermarket. The Manager was the epitomy of an http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x105/kiwiflygirl/asshole2.gif. If we clocked in one minute late, we were docked 15 minutes pay. If we worked 10 minutes over (as you often get stuck on checkouts...) we were not paid overtime. We had to attend staff meetings outside work hours, and were not paid for it.

[All this I tried to tell him was wrong, but quickly got shuffled off to the farthest corner where no-one could hear me...]

Anyhoo... one day when I had finished work, I bought a few things and proceeded to a checkout my girlfriend was on. I asked for a packet of cigarettes, and she did not scan them :eek: := but put them straight in my basket.

I quite happily, and with not an ounce of guilt, walked out of the Supermarket knowing I had not paid for them.:uhoh:

Is this the sort of stuff you mean?!

(Bear in mind I would kick my Chicklets' collective arses if I caught them shoplifting :\ := )

30th Nov 2007, 00:21
...sorry, got distracted then watching a beautiful butterfly float past backlit by the rays of the heavenly afternoon sun.Brings to mind my last trip into the forest, up the Temburong River. We'd just negotiated a rapid and were pouring the water out of the longboat on the shingle at the river's edge when I spotted about two dozen newly hatched Rajah Brookes sitting on the rocks, drying their wings in the sunshine. Beautiful!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, its that masculinity and femininity thing. I used to help myself to "Extras" when I was a Paper-lad, selling them later, for cash in my pocket. It wasn't stealing, just a perk of the job. ;)

Oh dear! One of my testicles appears to have turned into an ovary. :rolleyes:

30th Nov 2007, 00:38
Did you negotiate honestly with that rapid?

kiwi chick
30th Nov 2007, 00:44
:D :D :D :D

Man, u DO have ovaries! I was kidding about the butterfly... :rolleyes:

I was looking at a bulldozer.

(Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?" :O )

(I did say "looking at a tank" but that would have taken some impact from my joke :} )

30th Nov 2007, 08:21
Man, u DO have ovariesSure! I keep 'em in a jar on the mantlepiece.

With the butterflies. :}

Did you negotiate honestly with that rapid?You have to. Especially going upstream - the rocks are too hard to argue with. :}


That was taken in the dry season. Try a jungle trip sometime - you do need balls to do it in the rainy season though. :hmm:

tony draper
30th Nov 2007, 08:31
Buggah that !! Mr Blacksheep I seen Deliverance.:uhoh:

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Nov 2007, 10:33
Paddle faster! I hear banjo music....:E

30th Nov 2007, 11:34
Ahem.. eeeexcuuuuse me. I have rafted down the deliverance river. Or the Chattooga River as we class V guys like to call it.

Amazing how hard you can cling to a raft. I think I left fingerprints on the paddle handle.

30th Nov 2007, 17:33
Is scary river-rafting and the macho attending it a male equivalent of the quantum conscience gap for petty crimes that Davaar uniquely assigns to the distaff side?

Are they both a deliberate temporary loss of the scrupular marbles - but justified at the time for a higher purpose, maybe?

1st Dec 2007, 02:50
Scary river rafting is an indulgence for wealthy wastrels. Travelling in longboats up and down the Temburong is a daily necessity for Longhouse folk, who use the river as a highway. In the dry season you have to get out and push the boat through the rapids. In the wet season they storm through, but the boat gets full of water. You have to admire their fortitude. They're dead 'ard, Longhouse folk. But its worth the trip, just for the Tuak and the dancing. :ok:

I don't know if their women are duplicitous when it comes to paying the fare for their children, but the children do get out and push when necessary and they carry their fair share of the baggage at both ends of the trip.

1st Dec 2007, 03:13
They're dead 'ard, Longhouse folk. But its worth the trip, just for the Tuak and the dancing.

Must be like a trip back in time.... Have always wanted to go up to the head and then again slide alway down the Limpopo (great greasy green), but wars, revolutions and various of life's little distractions have so far interfered. (Counting my lucky stars on that one, I am.)

One's eldest daughter - the Economist - spent a summer between first and second year at college, as cook, planner, and general managing glue person for the mid-way camp of a rafting company in a mountain canyon river place. She lived in her own tent, kept food and drink in the pipe for crowds of 50's and hundreds arriving every day or two, and certainly must have learnt a lot about the healthy rough young men who were rafting guides and such. One did not hear many stories, though -- other than about the logistics of the kitchen.

Loose rivets
1st Dec 2007, 04:15
(Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"

The same two fish were put back in their bowl, where one followed the other endlessly. How do we know that the first one's name was Bob.


Oh, I forgot...this is a visual joke. You have to imagine the second one's mouth movements.

surely not
1st Dec 2007, 06:21
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?


1st Dec 2007, 13:21
Scary river rafting is an indulgence for wealthy wastrels.
But this wastrel had to carry a stupid raft for miles before getting even close to do the scary bit. Did any girls help, no.

kiwi chick
2nd Dec 2007, 19:29
Well, this girl certainly carried her share of the raft when she went white water rafting!!!

The boys were too busy talking about sheds. And how to steal them.

tony draper
2nd Dec 2007, 19:42
The Ugupangu tribe of the Amazonian basin have the right idea Madam Kiwi, when they come to white water they pull into the river bank drag the raft out of the water and have the womenfolk carry it past the rapids whilst they wander along behind talking about their sheds.
Makes sense to me.