Bill F'n Heffernan

[SM4 Pirate]

Text from Crikey today:

2. Bill Heffernan: air safety guardian
Christian Kerr writes:

It’s not a good day for favourites of the Prime Minister. First Jackie Kelly – and now there’s more on Bill Heffernan and his rough flight into Brisbane on Tuesday.

Accounts diverge, but what’s not disputed is that the New South Wales Senator was a passenger on a Qantas service from Canberra to Brisbane.

It was early evening, shortly after sunset. The flight landed hard. Teeth slappingly hard. The pilot in charge decided to perform a full-power go-around.

The jet made a second, normal landing. Crikey understands it was inspected for any damage and passed as fit to return to service. Qantas promptly and correctly filed a safety incident report with the Air Transport Safety Bureau.

All over? Apparently not. On landing Heffernan presented himself to the pilots in the plane. He allegedly made impolitic remarks and represented himself as a Civil Aviation Safety Authority officer. A meeting was then hastily convened in the Chairman’s Lounge with the Qantas duty manager to discuss events, with the Senator insisting the aircraft concerned be grounded pending a full inspection.

Heffernan disputes the account. “This is complete sh-t mate,” the former Parliamentary Secretary to Cabinet told Crikey. “They knew who I f-cking was, it was on the f-cking ticket, Senator Bill f-cking Heffernan.

“I presented myself as the chairman of the Senate Rural and Regional Affairs and Transport Committee, who do all the investigations.”

Heffernan denies the alternative account.

“They are telling you f-cking lies,” he said. “Why do you people run this sh-t? You’re as bad as the f-cking Chaser. You’ve got to retract it and f-cking apologise, or fair dinkum I’ll f-cking go you.”

Heffernan denies any confrontation in the Chairman’s Lounge. “I requested the f-cking meeting.” He added “If I ever run across you, you f-cking better … you’re f-cking gone mate.”

CASA seemed to be anticipating Crikey’s call. We were told that it is not a specific offence to impersonate a CASA officer. There is, Crikey understands, a provision in the Commonwealth Crimes Act which defines the impersonation of a Commonwealth officer as a criminal offence, for which the maximum penalty is two years' jail.

In June, The Age reported “Senator Bill Heffernan's latest foray into the world of strange politics has been to pose as an Australian Security Intelligence Organisation agent. That's when he's not phoning Queensland farmers claiming to be Nationals senator Barnaby Joyce …”

The Age quoted Heffernan as saying. “Can't a bloke have any fun any more?” Or as he said yesterday, ''You blokes take yourselves too f-cking seriously.''

Pissa mate!

[chimbu warrior]

Why would anyone in their right mind want to impersonate a CASA officer?

Whoops. Just answered my own question.

The CASA motto............."We're not happy until you're not happy"

[Nose wheel first]

I agree CC..... who would want to impersonate a CASA official???

Man, this guy sounds like a complete and utter boof head!!!

Guys like that just waste precious oxygen!!!!:ugh::ugh::ugh:

[gaunty]

Hmmmmmnnn Lets just say young Bill and I are of a certain age and aquaintance.

And he is pretty to watch in Senate estimates Chair he takes no prisoners and usually with good humour pricks any tendency to Public servant pomposity and cuts unerringly to the chase if he thinks they are confabulating. That's his job.

We possess the same knock about sense of humour of the generation that was honed in perhaps a more tolerant (some would say intolerant) but certainly less uptight age. Dry, ironic, mercilessly direct and always up for getting put down. Impersonations or more accurately caricature acting were an essential part of the repertoire.

My adult children are in a constant state of terror when they have company at our house that I might say or do something that they or at least their generation choose to call "inapropriate" which in my day would most likely bring the house down, but is the cause of intense embarassment . Who is being intolerant here.

''You blokes take yourselves too f-cking seriously.''

Quite so. And thats why, even at my age I wouldn't miss the Chasers for anything, the very funniest bits being the "intolerant" reactions of the piss taken out of PC victims.

[chimbu warrior]

Despite the similarities (with Senator Heffernan), I doubt Gaunty would impersonate a CASA officer!

[Creampuff]

CRIMINAL CODE ACT 1995

SECT 148.1 Impersonation of an official by a non-official

(1) A person other than a Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) on a particular occasion, the person impersonates another person in that other person's capacity as a Commonwealth public official; and
(b) the first-mentioned person does so knowing it to be in circumstances when the official is likely to be on duty; and
(c) the first-mentioned person does so with intent to deceive.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 2 years.

(2) A person other than a Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) the person falsely represents himself or herself to be a Commonwealth public official in a particular capacity; and
(b) the person does so in the course of doing an act, or attending a place, in the assumed capacity of such an official.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 2 years.

(2A) For the purposes of subsection (2), it is immaterial whether that capacity as a Commonwealth public official exists or is fictitious.

(3) A person other than a Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) the person:
(i) impersonates another person in that other person's capacity as a Commonwealth public official; or
(ii) falsely represents himself or herself to be a Commonwealth public official in a particular capacity; and
(b) the first-mentioned person does so with the intention of:
(i) obtaining a gain; or
(ii) causing a loss; or
(iii) influencing the exercise of a public duty or function; and
(c) if subparagraph (a)(i) applies—the first-mentioned person also does so with intent to deceive.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 5 years.

(3A) For the purposes of subparagraph (3)(a)(ii), it is immaterial whether that capacity as a Commonwealth public official exists or is fictitious.

(4) The definition of duty in section 130.1 does not apply to this section.

(5) To avoid doubt, for the purposes of this section:
(a) impersonation does not include conduct engaged in solely for satirical purposes; and
(b) false representation does not include conduct engaged in solely for satirical purposes.

SECT 148.2 Impersonation of an official by another official

(1) A Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) on a particular occasion, the official impersonates another person in that other person's capacity as a Commonwealth public official; and
(b) the first-mentioned official does so knowing it to be in circumstances when the other official is likely to be on duty; and
(c) the first-mentioned official does so with intent to deceive.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 2 years.

(2) A Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) the official falsely represents himself or herself to be a Commonwealth public official in a particular capacity; and
(b) the official does so in the course of doing an act, or attending a place, in the assumed capacity of such an official.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 2 years.

(2A) For the purposes of subsection (2), it is immaterial whether that capacity as a Commonwealth public official exists or is fictitious.

(3) A Commonwealth public official is guilty of an offence if:
(a) the official:
(i) impersonates another person in the other person's capacity as a Commonwealth public official; or
(ii) falsely represents himself or herself to be a Commonwealth public official in a particular capacity; and
(b) the first-mentioned official does so with the intention of:
(i) obtaining a gain; or
(ii) causing a loss; or
(iii) influencing the exercise of a public duty or function; and
(c) if subparagraph (a)(i) applies—the first-mentioned official also does so with intent to deceive.

Penalty: Imprisonment for 5 years.

(3A) For the purposes of subparagraph (3)(a)(ii), it is immaterial whether that capacity as a Commonwealth public official exists or is fictitious.

(4) The definition of duty in section 130.1 does not apply to this section.

(5) To avoid doubt, for the purposes of this section:
(a) impersonation does not include conduct engaged in solely for satirical purposes; and
(b) false representation does not include conduct engaged in solely for satirical purposes.

[amos2]

Hmmm!...Gaunty very rarely loses the plot but he has on this occasion.

Hefferman is a fool, as is Andrews, Kelly and a few others who will be given the flick by either Howard or Costello in a few days time!

[Spaz Modic]

:} Well, it's a pity the knuckleheads didn't turn around and say to old Bill, " Mate - we f'd it up. You know Bill - s't happens. Don't worry Bill ol' China, we'll get a heavy landing check done and all will be taken care of". And make light of it. After all - they all walked away. :D

[WynSock]

Was it a QFlink Q400 or a Qantas 737?

[Capn Bloggs]

Obviously it was an aircraft, which counts out the boat! :}

Where have you been Gaunty? Doing your Jungle jet conversion??!!:E

BH is an idiot. Full stop.

[flyingfox]

BH is a despicable character who has tried to muddy the names of people far superior to himself. (John Howard uses him as a pit-bull to do his dirty work.) A foul mouthed :suspect: neanderthal who wouldn't be welcome around me. Give him up Gaunty!

[Taildragger67]

Why did he 'present himself' to the flight crew anyway?

Personally given this perosn's reputation (deserved or not), I would not take the risk that he was having a bit of a laugh - if someone in a public office (either a Senator or someone claiming to be a CASA official) said something critical to me about a landing, I suggest that there would be little choice but to take it seriously in the first instance.

[Flyingblind]

A man is defined by his actions,


says it all really.


bring on the election!

[gaunty]

Eeeeer fark I wuz trying to say wot creamy said :rolleyes:

The Goons started it and This was the Week that was got it going on the telly then along came the Monty Python lot. Everything funy since has those shows as their inspiration. All of our generation. Chasers are one of the current generation of piss takers. It is a rather honourable profession.

It even gets a guernsey in the legislation as a defence.:p:p:p:cool:
And lets face it there has been a seemingly endless passing parade of moving targets in the aviation business over the years. Onlookers from the outside could be forgiven for thinking that the whole thing has been an aviation based Monty Python Flying Circus.:mad: Some of the characters are almost beyond caricature. How do you caricature a caricature.

Seems everybody missed the little bon mot in my last post.:zzz: I'll bet Creamy didn't

[blueloo]

Isnt there a humane society for that sort of situation?

[Funk]

Katter is a bit strange but generally a good hearted Qld farm boy, but Heffernan needs to be committed or at least on behaviour modifying medication.
More over who voted for this :mad: moron? I want names, they should be publicly shamed!:mad:
Is poor water quality in country NSW to blame? :yuk: