OASC Thread Excerpts Too Funny To Delete!

[siy247]

I returned from OASC at Cranwell last october after failing the aptitude. There are many reason for me failing one i was not well 2 i missed my alarm. However i am 17 and am not sure whether to go back in October or wait another year, when i will be 19.

I am very determined young man who is a very sucessful air cadet and a 2nd dan black belt in karate. I have also been told by the afco careers officer that i am one of the best candidates he has ever seen.


So what should i DO?

[airborne_artist]

Suggest:

Don't go if you are not feeling well, and get a better alarm next time.

Also suggest that you don't believe everything you are told, either here, or in the AFCO!

[siy247]

YES, I have learned that now!!! I don't really need that kind of reply, one with no help to me at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Onan the Clumsy]

Maybe it's not for me to comment about what the afco officer said, but I will mention that there are three lies most often told by a woman to a man and they are:
[list=1]
You're the first
You're the biggest
You're the best
[/list=1]
Maybe he says that to all the lads.

In any event, I would go back in October myself. I don't see the point in waiting if its what you really want to do. Being able to show that you are still focused and the fact that you are going to do much better on the tests can only reflect well on you.

[siy247]

No the report he sent to cranwell said this. I know this for a fact as i saw this report. The AFCO officers as far as i know are not into lieing much!!!!

[A2QFI]

I know that you may think that this forum is a bit like text messaging but, if you are going to join the RAF and get on in it, you could do with checking on your spelling and use of capital letters, if your posts here are much to go by.

[Postman Plod]

siy, I'm struggling to understand exactly what it is you are asking?

You say you failed your aptitude because of an alarm clock and being unwell. You know that, and you know the solution for the future is to get a reliable alarm clock, and dont go when you are unwell. No need to get stroppy for having this perfectly reasonable answer pointed out to you, but you seem to KNOW why you failed, and know what to do about it next time. So clearly this isn't what you're asking?

You say the AFCO said you were one of the best candidates they have seen. Good for you! Why is that relevant to us?

What you seem to be asking is.... Do I really want to join the RAF after having failed OASC once? Only you can answer that question after doing research into whatever trade it is you want to go in to. If its what you really really want, then why are you asking "something" here? Can you clarify what it is you are actually asking?

Just a suggestion of an alternative, and possibly more appropriate and relevant resource for asking this sort of thing is:

http://www.aircadetcentral.net/forums

There are a fairly large number of people in a similar position to yourself on this forum, so you might get some advice there too?

[baronmanfred]

Did the report also mention per chance that you were an illiterate retard? The AFCO was probably blunt anyway...

Come on, be realistic - it's BLOODY competitive. If you can't pass the aptitude tests I'd look at something else.

Missed alarm ??? The fire alarm goes off at stupid o'clock specifically to wake you up.

They'll have told you where to improve - I doubt it was solely aptitude by your posts thusfar.

[siy247]

At the end of the day I failed however I believe that certain people on this forum are jealous. And that just fine be that way I don't mind.

Thanks to the people for there help and the others just go away and be a pain somewhere else.

[baronmanfred]

Jealous of what ? Uhhh........ Not your English !

[Postman Plod]

siy, the majority of people on this forum are already in the RAF therefore have nothing to be jealous of. The rest of them have the good sense and manners not to piss off the people whom this forum is aimed at, and the people who they may be or find themselves working with or for.

Believe what you want, but I think you will find that YOU are the one coming on here and being a pain for US, and with an attitude like the one you appear to have (juvenile), I think you'll find there were other reasons for you failing OASC.

[siy247]

I don't know who you are and frankly I don't care. You are more than likely a sad old man, a wannabe pilot, so just leave my forum and don't post again.

[CarPete]

17 year olds can be such t@ssers at times, shudder to think we were all like that at one time !!

This one hasn't a prayer at OASC with grammar and attitude like that.

.......and before he goes on at me as well, I passed it 25 years ago when it was difficult!!

[Postman Plod]

Reported to the mods - no need for crap like this, and giving the ATC a bad name. Still, at least I know which squadron they are from, so a bit of amatuer detective work, and a swift Email to their CO, and hopefully the ATC will be rid of them... :=

[212man]

This is either a wind up (and not a very funny one at that) or perhaps a word in his 'shell like' from a moderator might be in order.

btw, it's OASC (not Oasc)

[siy247]

Well thank you and I understand that most people on this forum are in the RAF.

However I believe that calling me a tosser is totally out of order.

I understand that spelling and grammar are not my strongest areas and I will work on them. I believe that people on these types of forums should be helping and encouraging young people not calling them names and defacing there character.

[Bob Viking]

Imagine my surprise when I logged on this afternoon after a hard day flying and read this forum. Laugh...I nearly bloody cried.
I have been a critic of the selection process in the past but it seems on this occasion they have done us all a huge favour.

My advice?

Quit. Give up now and don't come back, you irksome little gimp.

If on the other hand you manage to grow up any time soon, take a long, hard look at yourself, do your homework, then go back and try again.
Now, before you start raging at me in response just think for one moment. I have been through the system you are currently trying to crack and I am now having a fairly excellent time flying single seat jets and from the impression you have already given people it just may be that you are the one with the problem and have a little maturing to do before you return to Cranwell.
If you do, good luck and don't sleep in!
BV

[D-IFF_ident]

Moderators.

Is this thread necessary? If it was at all possible I would forward it to OASC and save a lot of people a lot of time, and the tax-payer a few bob too.

[Proman]

Please Moderators, I totally understand those who say remove this thread but I'm with Bob Viking...I nearly just wet myself.

Oh, the joy of youth!

[Dangerman]

Well, a good bit of advice for the future might be not to use the same username on here as you use on other forums and spanking websites if you are going to go around upsetting people!
Google search (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=siy247)

[higthepig]

siy247

Have you thought about giving up on OASC, its not all it is cracked up to be, I can see a bright future for you working for McDonalds or some other fast-food company. Have you thought about the exciting career of wheel clamping. You seem to have all the attributes necessary, big attitude, an inability to construct a sentence, even the karate belt might come in useful. Don't limit your horizons, I'm sure the Diplomatic Corps are always looking for talent like yours, there are many jobs out there that you could walk into tomorrow. You will go far, hopefully..................................

[Megaton]

Posted by: simon on July 14, 2004 10:58 AM
i wont a spanking.I’m a male 17 and from scotland. and i just love spanking so if anyone wonts a spanking, e-mail me

[email protected]

Good grief. Is this what's attracted to the RAF these days? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[D-IFF_ident]

Hang on a minute - I think 'Siy' might be my wife's ex husband?

[amb_211085]

Now as much as you may find the originator of this post and their comments immature, perhaps it would be better to criticise constructively? Then instead of being disheartened and thinking that everyone in the RAF are full of themselves it would help motivate them to get their act together.

I have come across many pilots in my short life and most have been friendly and helpful and willing to help a young wannabe where they can. A few have been extremely unhelpful and arrogant, believeing that if you don't personally know it you should shrivel up and die or so it would seem. Most, but not all, of the latter category can be found on here. Similarly there are some helpful posters around too.

If you insist on posting here, realise that young people - probably very much less mature than yourselves - who are looking into a military career in aviation will ask questions. If you don't like it then put yourselves in their shoes before criticising, you may just be surprised at what you see.

[adr]

Having had, so far today, not the best of days, I found this thread to be thoroughly diverting. I don't need to hunt for a Jacques Tati DVD to depressurise after all.
If it was at all possible I would forward it to OASC Instructions:
1. At the foot of the page, click on the download link.
2. Give the file a suitable name with the .txt extension (oneofthebestcandidates.txt might be good) and save it somewhere you'll readily find it.
3. Compose your email, and attach to it your text file.

adr

[johnfairr]

Can't wait to see what Beagle will make of this.....

Bob the Norseman got it spot on and I can beat CarPete by 10 years.

A good laugh prior to departing the fix for the pub.:ok: :ok:

[BEagle]

I have indeed seen this thread; I dismissed the original post as an attempted wind-up.

Surely it cannot have been genuine. At least, I would sincerely hope not!

".....defacing there character." Would any serious OASC candidate really write such drivel?

[stillin1]

Please don't moderate this thread. I too have not had a laugh like it for ages. God help us if he ever gets in!!:yuk:

[Onan the Clumsy]

amb I think the posts you mention were triggered by the thread starter's responses rather than his original question and would not necessarily have been written had he/she/it allowed the thread to evolve along more cordial lines.

as forThe AFCO officers as far as i [sic] know are not into lieing [sic] much!!!![sic] I guess it's different in Blighty. The US military might not be able to make that claim...at the moment

not a bash btw, just a reported news story

[baronmanfred]

Forgive me siy247, but it's YOU who is the sad wannabe! YOU want MY JOB. YOU post sh*t on this forum.

I suggest you check out the following


http://www.careersinfoodanddrink.co.uk/minisite.asp?company_id=61

"Do you want fries with that Sir?" Practice this over and over again.[

[Tourist]

This wannabe is:-
1. Illiterate
2. Has an over-developed sense of his own importance
3. Has an egregious personality.

Just trying to remember the last time I met someone like that...................
Oh Yes! RAF Valley! The place is full of them!
He will fit right in in the RAF

[SACrIGGER]

As another upcoming OASC candidate, this thread gives me great confidence in the standard of at least some of the competition. Some great responses, had a few laughs!

[mr.nys]

I don't know who you are and frankly I don't care. You are more than likely a sad old man, a wannabe pilot, so just leave my forum and don't post again.

MY forum?? I almost started choking with laughter on the floor...

[Postman Plod]

Ahhh you know, I take my report to the mods back now - if only he could have known what he was letting himself in for when he started the insults....! :} :\ You think he might be regretting getting shirty now? Never be able to show his face in public again!

Ash, normally I'd probably agree, but I'm afraid he only has himself to blame for this - insult the people who are trying to help him, and what does he expect!

[Well Travelled Nav]

Aptitude tests are test inate ability and Siy getting up late will not change that. Furthermore, you don't start each test until you are ready and you have seen the examples so you shouldn't have been rushed.

Siy did you actually get to the interview or did you withdraw after failing the aptitude ?

Also, the average improvement is only 10% for you second and final attempt at the aptitude tests so I would suggest you will never be competitive if your only branch choice is pilot. You should widen your choices if you really want to get into the RAF and consider some non-aptitude related choices.

Anyway, if you do come back to OASC I look forward to Interviewing you.

P.S. The AFCO's opinion only gets you to OASC. Once there very little notice is taken of the report since you often find that what the AFCO sees is not what the is evident at OASC and guess whose opinion counts more?

WTN

[exleckie]

Hmmm,

Was this a wind up or youthful angst against advice? Not entirely sure.

To ask "what is the truth" suggests an inquisitive mind but admitting to sleeping in suggests, for a 17 year old that the individual may be ill disciplined, ( blame the alarm clock syndrome).

However, it is widely acknowledged that teenagers sleep more during growing phases and tend to rise later than most of us because of that.

Even at 17 yo, this is not uncommon.

One noted that his first few threads were of poor spelling etc, but that suddenly improved a few posts down.


I suspect that someone is fishing for info which would have been used with mal intent had it been given freely.

I go with the mods in banning said person.

Also, links provided by fellow pprune mates do not bode well for the discussed individual.

If the guy was gen, then I do not feel he was let down by the initial replies from us and also by the replies from himself. I certainly feel that if he grew up and learned not to insult , but to engage in banter etc, he may well fit in. Well, in about 15 years time anyway.


Exleckie

[Onan the Clumsy]

In fairness though, the second dan black belt should be useful...especially if the base gets overun or something.

[Safety_Helmut]

Ex_L
Sycophant, but I want your babies.
SAC_R
With you all the way, when will the RAF learn to go with WHO it knows ?
siy
You will probably understand this: u r a kn*b !

SH

[J.A.F.O.]

At first I was sure that this was a wind-up but now I'm not so certain.

siy, if you are genuine then my sincere advice would be that if you are intent on a life in uniform then you should look at all of the opportunities available; perhaps traffic warden would be suitable as nobody likes you anyway.

Either way you should go away and stop bothering both us and OASC.

[RiskyRossco]

Aahhh, yes, I remember who I was at 17 y.o., too. My diaries sound a little like yours, siy.
Word in yer shell-like, experience counts or a lot and, you have two ears and one mouth. Pays to listen twice as much as you talk. Until you've gained a broader perspective/greater understanding of ppl/objective awareness of your own weak points.
Dear ol' Dad used to say,
"At 16 it's amazing how thick parents and grown-ups are. When you're 21 it's amazing how much they've learned!"

I say that to say this. Take failures as they come. You're not going to make it in everything and along the way you'll start to figure out what's worth it and what's not.

FWIW

[Solid Rust Twotter]

Maybe we should link him to arrse and follow him there if he's still around.

Should be worth a few chortles into ones beer...:E

[Pontius Navigator]

So the short answer is wait until you are 19 or 21 and reassess your life.

SACrIGGER, note your point! Too true, there are dozens of wannabees out there. Can we help?

[PileUp Officer]

Still, at least I know which squadron they are from, so a bit of amatuer detective work, and a swift Email to their CO, and hopefully the ATC will be rid of them...

Hmmm... a bit harsh but I suppose it's up to you if you want to ruin someone's career.
(Even though he does seem a bit of d**k and his English did pi$$ me off!)

[Zoom]

I'm probably one of the sad old men siy was referring to. When I was in the RAF - flying jets all over the place, working with terrific individuals, going to exciting places, generally living a fantastic life and getting paid a decent wage as well - I was a happy young man. Now that I no longer do any of that I am indeed a sad old man. You see, being a member of the RAF is a good career, siy247, a spanking good career - but you need to get accepted in the first place.

[Widger]

I am confused. Not about the abuse this little T**T is getting (totally deserved), but the fact that you are all effusing over how great the RAF is. Most of the other forums are full of you lot slagging the Service off!

[Mad_Mark]

Must admit, when I read the first post I too was convinced this was a wind up. But, after curiosity got the better of me and I followed the Google link to another aviation Forum where he posted exactly the same thing, I now feel he may indeed be genuine - poor soul!

Interesting that his profile on the other forum says he is an IT Consultant. CONSULTANT at 17? More like IT Consultants tea boy! Ahh, I suppose you are consulted by little children when working in Woolworths selling computer games on Saturdays, so I suppose that could be classed as IT Consultant :D

He really does like to blow his own trumpet - best ever applicant at his AFCO, black belt in Karate, IT Consultant, all at 17 :D Tw@ :ooh: Shame he doesn't extend his abilities to punctuality, grammer and common sense :ok:

I am sad that he was banned, his posts were keeping me amussed for hours :-)

MadMark!!! :mad:

[BEagle]

Widger - "Was, Courtney, was....."

I recall that I passed GCE 'O' level English Language at 14. A year before I went to OASC at Biggin Hill and almost exactly 3 years before I went to RAFC Cranwell.

Is the standard of English grammar, spelling and punctuation demonstrated by some on this thread typical of today's yoof? If so, then heaven help us!

[baronmanfred]

"“THWACK!!!” I let out such a loud scream from the pain and immediately started crying again, and grabbed hold of my arse.
He was furious, he came up to me, again pulling my hair by the pigtails, and shouted at me to keep my hands on the table.
He informed me I was getting 6 of the best, however, because of the pain, I couldn’t help but put my hands on my backside after every stroke, and in the end he gave me 12 strokes instead.
At the end of the 12 strokes it was the end of my punishment, and he sent me out the room, I was still crying."

I wonder what OASC would say if they knew about this guy's preferences?

Let the DS at OASC give him "6 of the best" at interview and then send him out of the room crying!

Just noticed - he's based his user name on a (what looks like - I hope it's not or the Pigs will be round!) Japanese child porn site !http://gazoweb_5.tripod.com/siy/siy.htm

[siysmate]

right you lot i am in sis247 karete class and i am also in his atc squasdron and i think you shoulfd all zip up.

he is my mate and I thi k he is good eneough to be a fighter pilot

[Postman Plod]

PileUp Officer - an idle threat I'm afraid, I'm too lazy and he seems to be doing a good enough job himself - and considering how much worse it seems to get for this guy every time I look back at the thread.....:ugh:

[PileUp Officer]

Fair enough.

I just wouldn't want to be too harsh. I've come across as a total and utter t*t on here before and I don't think I am in real life! (I hope)

It's easy for things to get out of hand on here. I just think he may not be so bad in real life and I think encouragement is the way forward rather than abuse!

Edited: Encouragement with his career and application not encouragement with him being a tw@ !

[jb5000]

Hehe, I havent had a good laugh like that in a while.

Siysmate, I do realise that you are the worlds authority on knowing what it takes to be a fighter pilot, but come on!! (Or are you in fact simply siy247 on a different username?!)

Googling the spanking page was absolute genius!

Unfortunately siy247 I really don't think you understand what it takes to make it at OASC. Your story is confused and at times unbelievable. I too have attended OASC (for 6th form scholarship, unfortunately I wasn't successful) and the fire alarm style wake up bell would wake the dead, it is *impossible* to sleep through.

Perhaps if you were not so abusive to the people who were initially trying to help you, then a link to a pornographic site that you frequently visit would not be circulating a popular forum right about now.

[Perimeter_Fence]

That just had to be a wind-up......

I failed OASC. I got fobbed off every year until I got there at 21, having accumulated the necessary "life experience".

I recognise that the process works (in most cases;) ) and I got over it.

[siysmate]

well woopy do 2 u to

my oponion counts just teh same as anyone elses, i am just sticking up for my mate he is being trueful about the AFCO and what he thinks

the fact of the matter is taht i have been to cranwel also and I passed all of the tests but the oasc officers said I shood go to uni first to get a degree and then come back to start flying

I tinkh my mate sisy247 is just as good as me

[mgdaviso]

I should go back to school and learn to spell properly first.

This is a real lightener for me after a particularly rough morning.

... and I apologies on behalf of the ATC that a kn*b like this should come in here and be, well, such a kn*b.

We are not all like him. :yuk:

Cheers

[teeteringhead]

a spanking good career :ok: :ok: :ok:

[Mad_Mark]

Come on guys, siysmate is obviously a wind up merchant :ok: Two things point to this, his spelling is just TOO bad to be for real and I seriously doubt that siy247 has any mates :}

MadMark!!! :mad:

[siysmum]

i m siys mum. just cos he got no grasp of englsh gramer dont meen he cant be a gud fiiter pylot.

i ve did my best to bring it up well from us council hous.

hell look good in uniform - just lik his odl man;s one courtesy of HM (HMP wormwood scrubbs)

stop picking on hmi you buhcn of brill cvreeme wering, mGb drivin poshos. my jbo in canteen is just as improtant as yours. Now, wres; sme giro ! Bugger, rnu out - btse rob instaed.

[simon1]

I am the real Simon Henderson. This was/is a joke by someone.

All of the above which has been written about me is true, however I did not fail OASC I was told I was too young.

I will be returning to OASC in October and will hopefully be old enough to pass and live out my life long Dream.

I'm sorry if this person has caused any upset and problems on this forum.

[siysmum]

I tlod you before sun - don;;t mess bout.

EDIT: You DID fail OASC - whether because you were too young or not only you know. There are plenty of 18 yr olds at Cranwell doing IOT, ergo that's not a valid reason.

[siysmate]

I am sorry guys, just could not resist it.

Not had such a laugh since the outing of crossbow and the Israeli marshal arts expert from the BMW Recall thread

Hoots man

[PileUp Officer]

Hmmmm... a windup by 'someone' or realising you've f**ked up and trying to get out of it?
Anyway, a lot of 18 year olds do go to IOT! ;) :ok:

[Mad_Mark]

Couldn't resist this...

A post from siy247 on the other forum mentioned previously, in the "Ormond beach aviation in September" thread...

Well i have all my life strived to be in the RAF as a pilot. However after returning from cranwell being unsucessful as i was "Too young" I changed my mind and now wish to join the fleet air arm. They have treated me alot better and have got me many visits and trips none of which the RAF will do.

So fingersw crossed in January i'll be flying in the RN.

My commiserations to the FAA, however I am sure that your selection process will also weed him out :ok:

MadMark!!! :mad:

[Biggles Flies Undone]

Best thread since 'A Bluntie Speaks Out' :ok:

[siysmum]

I sincerely hope that's not your real name 'Simon'.

Do you know who reads these threads? Have you not been briefed by your AFCO on pprune and what NOT to do?

You'd better come up with another 'real' name and say you were just messing, or you're in the sh*t chap.

Taxi for one................

[engineer(retard)]

No, Im the real Simon and so's my wife.

Crucifiction, first cross on the left, nail yourself to the military forum.

[siysmate]

Honestly Pileup me old cock sparra, I am not who I think I am, look I can even spell diluvian (and I know what it means!!) Apologies, I just wanted to extend the fun a bit as it has been a boring day and folk like siy247 only come along once in a while.

Juvenile, yes

Waste of bandwidth, probably

Cracking good sport, indeedy

Adieu, or is it goodbye?

[syS_2447_hic_fart]

no on no no - you al1 got it ronng - i am the rael symon and don't be di55ing me no moore you gets!

i may nut be gr8 @ spulling but das no ne;ed 2 take it owt of I.

All of yoo bad poeple disin moi famelee stop et; now purleeze or oi'll get down diggeti on yow ass an bust ya chopz.

Oi aint noT 17 neever, i''m 17 an a harf and willl m8ke bettter foighter pylot van any of yoo #'l ot.

booyakashaaaa all va peeple vat want!!



www.spanki.net

[Alchef]

How many of you fellas has this fool wound up???!!!!

Fantastic relief to Uni exam revision...

Bring on SOCA, I just can't wait!!!

[siysmum]

Here's Simon and his mate in their full, wife beating glory.

http://www.thefridayproject.co.uk/pondlife/images/art/chinwag.jpg

"I'm gonna join the raf innit mate"

[Pontius Navigator]

Well Travelled Nav see PM please boss.

[Widger]

BEagle


QUOTE]Widger - "Was, Courtney, was....."[/QUOTE]




What??????????

[Centre_Expand]

Help...

Somebody please, help...

...my sides are killing me :p :p :p

Haven't laughed so much for ages.

Expect to see Siy (short for Psycho ??) on his own reality celebrity survival big brother gladiator chatshow soon.....

[BEagle]

Widger, in the movie 'Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines, when Courtney (Eric Sykes) tells Sir Percy Ware-Armitage (Terry-Thomas) that his daughter is still an innocent young girl, the latter responds:

"Was, Courtney, was!"

Hence my usage to comment upon your statement "...how great the RAF is."

Perhaps this particular form of banter is no longer very common?

[siysmum]

On Pikeys, remember BumFights ? Check out BumHunter ! (Good Steve Irwin impression!!)

javascript:openWindow('http://www2.bumfights.com/view_movie.cfm?movie=webhunter&format=ram', '300', '290');Bum (http://javascript:openWindow('http://www2.bumfights.com/view_movie.cfm?movie=webhunter&format=ram', '300', '290');)